Dreaming on Daisies: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series Book 3)

by Miralee Ferrell

  Tom glanced at Steven, then allowed his gaze to settle on her. “I’m not hiding behind a lie any longer. I did that for the three years before I left, and that was enough.”

  A shiver raced down Leah’s back. “What lie? You know as well as I do that Ma is dead.”

  His eyes didn’t soften. “She was very much alive when she left this ranch nine years ago.”

  Leah’s stomach clenched to the point she thought she might be ill. She peered at Steven. What must he be thinking? More than likely, he wished he’d never moved to the ranch or met her family. She squared her shoulders—no more weakness or game playing. She glared at her brother. “You can’t know anything about Ma. You disappeared and never came home. And if all of this were true, why wouldn’t Pa have told me?”

  Tom sneered. “Pa’s pride has always been one of his biggest problems, other than the drinking and surly personality. But I’ll admit that mostly got worse after Ma left. Sure, maybe Pa acts that way due to Ma leaving him, but he needs to get over it.”

  His mouth twisted. “Can you really see him admitting his wife deserted him? You asked how I know about Ma. Before she left, she told me what she was going to do. She gave me the choice of coming with her right then, and I almost did. I wish now I hadn’t stayed here and wasted three years.”

  Leah’s legs shook, and she swayed. Ma had been alive all these years? It couldn’t be true. She refused to believe her mother would leave her behind. Her mother had loved her … she’d proved it in so many ways before her death.

  They’d picnicked together in a secluded place in the meadow where the daisies grew in wide clusters. Ma made daisy chains as garlands and placed them on Leah’s head. They’d shared whispers and giggles and stories galore—secrets and precious things hidden where no one else would ever think to look. Leah had not returned to their special place since Ma died, never gone to their hidey-hole and uncovered their private box. She shivered and rubbed her hands over her arms.

  But Tom said Ma hadn’t died. She stared at her brother. “If Ma didn’t die, where has she been all these years? Why would she leave without letting me know?”

  He turned his head, but not before she saw a glint of sadness darken his eyes.

  Her own pulse pounded. Ma had come to Tom and offered to take him away with her, but she hadn’t so much as left Leah a note or kissed her good-bye? Why would Ma desert her own daughter?

  A sense of desolation, deeper than any canyon she’d ever stared into, threatened to topple her. If Tom’s claim was true, her mother had abandoned her without so much as a word. And nine years had passed without even a letter. Why? How could she do that to her own child?

  Steven steadied her with a firm hand. “Why don’t you sit on the porch?” He indicated one of the chairs.

  She gazed up into his warm eyes and slowly shook her head. “Thank you. I’m fine now. A little dizzy for a moment, but it passed.”

  He gave a reluctant nod and released his gentle grip.

  A cloud of loneliness swept over Leah. If only she could cling to Steven and draw on his quiet strength. Funny she hadn’t seen him as strong until today, when she felt so weak.

  She rounded on Tom as fury built, burning in her belly. “I don’t believe you. Ma wouldn’t have left without telling me. She would have asked me to go with her too. Ma wouldn’t have left me here, alone”—she gestured toward the ranch house—“with him.” What kind of woman would leave a fourteen-year-old girl with a man who wasn’t even her natural father?

  Guilt pricked at her thoughts. Pa had been the only father she’d ever known, since her own had died not long after she was born. But if Ma left the ranch out of anger or disgust with her own husband, why would she leave her defenseless daughter with the man? She gave a sharp shake of her head. It didn’t make sense. None of this did.

  Tom’s firm mouth softened. “She knew you’d never want to leave the ranch. Ma knew how much you loved it here, and she didn’t want to take that from you.” His eyes darted away. “I can’t tell you more. Ma refused to talk about it much.”

  Leah shook her head, still not able to fully comprehend the awful truth. Her mother had abandoned her. Willingly. Knowingly. Without so much as a backward glance. She swung her attention to her brother, suddenly certain he wasn’t telling the full truth. What was he hiding? He’d never been able to tell a lie while looking her square in the eyes. “And why would she do that? What else are you hiding?”

  Her brother shot a malevolent look at the house. “You weren’t that young when Ma left. You should remember the fights between her and Pa, and how unhappy she was living here.”

  “No, I don’t. Ma loved the ranch, the same as me.”

  “You’re fooling yourself, Leah. That might be what you want to remember, but it’s not true. Ma hated living in the country. She was raised in a city and begged to move, but Pa wouldn’t have it.” His lip curled. “All he cared about was this ranch. It meant more to him than any of us, and it still does.”

  She wrapped her arms around herself, hating what she was hearing. Ma hadn’t hated it here; she was sure of it. A vague memory of raised voices and Ma’s face streaked with tears intruded on her thoughts, but she pushed it away. “How do you know? You can’t convince me Ma revealed her deepest emotions to a twelve-year-old boy before she deserted her family.”

  “She didn’t tell me then, but I learned it bit by bit over the past few years.”

  “What do you mean?” Leah hadn’t thought Tom could tell her anything that would hurt her worse than what he’d already shared, but she cringed at what she sensed coming.

  “I’ve been living with Ma for the past six years. Right before I left the ranch, I wrote to her that I was leaving.”

  “You wrote to her?” The words felt like heavy mud on her tongue, and she barely pushed them out into the air. “You knew her address for three years and didn’t tell me? Why would you keep it a secret?”

  Tom shook his head but again didn’t meet her eyes. “Before she left she said she was moving to Portland—back to where she lived when she was a girl. I sent a letter general delivery and told her I’d be arriving in a few weeks.”

  “So is she coming back after all this time? Is that why you came, to prepare me and Pa for her arrival?” Leah stiffened. “I don’t know if I want to see her, even if she’s at a hotel in town right now.”

  Her brother stared at her for several long moments. “I told you, Leah, Ma’s dead. She passed away not long before Christmas. That’s one of the reasons I came back.”

  Leah blinked, unable to comprehend the import of his words. Dead? But Tom said he’d been living with her all these years. Ma left her alone on the ranch with a father who turned into a drunk. She never wrote or tried to contact her before she died.

  Pain pierced Leah’s heart, as deep and dark as a mine shaft cut all the way to cold bedrock. She’d already lost her mother once, nine years ago—only to discover now that her mother hadn’t wanted her. Why would God force her to endure her mother’s death all over again now? He could have stopped her from leaving, could have made Ma stay and care for her.

  A shadow passed over her vision, and she shivered. She pivoted and started toward the bunkhouse that sat a few yards from the corrals. She had to get away from Tom and think. Leah took another step, but the heaviness and darkness increased. She stumbled, and the last thing she saw was the ground rising toward her and the strong arms that wrapped around her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Tom stared at the limp form of his sister as the stranger gathered her to his chest and strode the short distance to the bunkhouse. Horror swept through Tom at the realization that he’d caused her to faint. Leah had never been weak. She’d never carried on like other girls no matter how afraid.

  A memory of his mother’s pale face leaped to the forefront. Leah couldn’t be sick like Ma, could she? Why did this have to h
appen? He hadn’t wanted to return, but Ma had wheedled and begged before she died. She’d made him promise.

  He gritted his teeth. As far as he was concerned, he’d come back to get what was rightfully his. A shiver ran across his skin. But he’d made a deathbed promise—the kind a man should never break.

  He grabbed his bag from the ground and tucked it under his arm. He didn’t belong here—had never belonged here, even as a child. Ma had loved him in her own way, but he’d never been able to please his father, no matter how hard he tried. He turned and walked toward the rutted road that led back to town. There was no way he could face his father right now, not with Leah lying unconscious in the bunkhouse and all of it his fault.

  Steven smoothed a red curl from Leah’s cheek, marveling at the softness of her hair and skin. He straightened and took a step back. She was his landlord, if not his boss, and he was suddenly ashamed for taking such liberties. Pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of his trousers, he hurried across the room and then dipped it in a basin of cool water. He strode back to the bed and gently placed it across her forehead.

  Leah’s lashes quivered; then her eyes slowly opened, revealing depths of confusion and pain that stirred Steven to the bottom of his soul. He hadn’t completely figured out the conversation between Leah and her brother—at least, not to the point of understanding how Leah’s mother could leave her family—but he’d heard enough to know he wanted to protect her from another verbal assault from that man.

  “Steven?” Leah rolled her head to the side. “What am I doing in the bunkhouse?” She pushed herself up on one elbow. “And on your bed.” A wave of red flooded her cheeks, and she swung her feet onto the rag rug covering a space on the board floor. “What happened?”

  Steven’s heartbeat increased, but he threw a loop over his thoughts and hauled them back where they belonged. Relief flooded him that Leah appeared to be all right. He’d truly worried when she’d collapsed in his arms.

  He stepped away from the bed. “I’m not sure. One minute you were standing outside locking horns with your brother and the next you fainted. Maybe you shouldn’t get up too fast. How are you feeling now?”

  “I’m fine,” she said swiftly. “We worked so long branding calves that we missed dinner.” She avoided his eyes. “I was light-headed earlier from not eating; then, before I knew it, everything got black. How long was I out?” Her eyes flew back to his. “Where’s Tom?”

  “You’ve only been unconscious a few minutes. We need to get you to the house so you can eat.” He tried to stem the flood of concern at the sight of her pale skin and shaking hands. It was certainly possible she’d fainted because of the hard work, hot sun, and lack of food, but even more probable her collapse was tied to her brother’s arrival and startling declaration. “And I have no idea where your brother is. Taking care of you was my first priority.”

  Her cheeks flushed rosy. She smoothed a few stray strands of hair off her face that had loosened from her braid, then took his hand to assist her in getting up. “Thank you.”

  They stood face-to-face without moving while Steven’s heart nearly pounded out of his chest. He released her hand and didn’t move. Clamping down on his emotions, he kept his arms pinned to his sides, barely able to breathe.

  Several heartbeats passed before Leah shifted her gaze. She took a step around him, then moved toward the open door. “Do you suppose Tom went to the house? I’d better get up there. Pa will be fit to be tied when he sees him.”

  Steven frowned, still finding it difficult to shake free of the need to touch her. “Why? I’d think he’d be happy to welcome his son after so many years.”

  Leah gave a harsh laugh. “I’d have thought so too, until Tom spouted all that rubbish about Ma. I don’t believe for a minute that she wanted to leave the ranch.” Her lips quivered, and she turned her head, but Steven still heard the faint whisper. “Or me.” She headed across the porch and down the steps. “You coming?”

  Steven wanted to race forward and wrap his arms around her. She’d sounded so … fragile … not at all like the strong woman he’d come to know. He kept a tight rein on his emotions. A hug from him was the last thing Leah would want. “Sure. I could stand some of Millie’s good cooking. So you don’t believe Tom?”

  He kept a close eye on Leah, ready to jump and catch her if she so much as stumbled over a stone on the path. He didn’t care for the effect Tom Pape had had on Leah. She was usually clear and decisive, knowing what she wanted and stating what she believed, but the arrival of her brother seemed to have changed things somehow.

  “Believe him about what?” She turned quizzical eyes his way.

  “Your brother. He said he’s been living with your mother, and she recently passed. You think he was lying?”

  Charlie hitched himself up against the pillows, being careful not to bump his arm. He reached for the mug of coffee Buddy had brought in. “Thanks. Hate to have you waitin’ on me like this. You have enough to do keepin’ up with extra ranch chores.”

  “I don’t mind helping Millie out. She’s baking bread for dinner, and since my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut, I’m more’n happy to help out.” He grinned and placed a folded towel on the bedside table and set a tin coffeepot atop it. “Besides, Millie said you had a restless night and needed to sleep late this morning. I don’t argue with the missus.”

  Charlie cradled his arm and cut loose with a groan. “Dinged arm’s hurtin’ worse today.” He shifted around on the bed, but nothing helped. “Can’t say as I blame you. I like to stay on Millie’s good side my own self. How’s the work goin’? That Harding fella pullin’ his weight?”

  Buddy hitched a chair close and straddled it. “Yup. I gotta say, boss, he’s a good worker. I wasn’t sure what to expect when he showed up, but he does a decent job.” He pointed at Charlie’s splinted arm wrapped in a bandage and done up in a sling. “You’d probably have a lot worse than a busted wing if he hadn’t been there. That bull mighta got Leah, too, if it weren’t for Harding. If you ask me, you owe him, boss.”

  Charlie carefully lowered his mug of coffee and stared at his old friend. “She never told me she was in danger.”

  “The doc was here, then you took a nap, and it’s been busy ever since. Guess she didn’t have time.” The man didn’t quite meet Charlie’s eyes.

  “What you not tellin’ me, Buddy? Out with it. Leah didn’t get hurt and then hide it from me, did she?”

  Buddy met Charlie’s gaze square on. “No, sir. Nothing like that, at all. Sorry I made you worry. I think her hurt is more inside, like.”

  Charlie’s heart skipped a beat, then plunged ahead, seeming to gather speed as it went. “What do you mean, hurt inside? That don’t make a lick of sense.”

  “I’ll try to explain. The way I see it, she’s worried about you and don’t know her own mind about Harding. I think the worry and confusion has her plumb flummoxed, if you get my meaning.”

  “No, Buddy, I don’t, so quit skippin’ around what you’re tryin’ to say. I know you well enough to know there’s more, so spit it out.”

  “Fine.” Buddy leaned back in his chair. “Your drinking has been a trial to your girl. You almost got yourself and everyone else hurt, if not killed, with that stunt in the pasture. Then Harding put himself in danger to draw the bull away from Leah so she could get you out of harm’s way. That like to scared ten years off her life, ’cause she’s starting to care for the boy. Leastwise, I think she is from what I’ve been able to tell.”

  Charlie’s stomach plummeted until he thought he’d be sick. His actions had put his girl in real danger? Somewhere inside he’d known that, but he hadn’t wanted to face it. If it had been anyone but Buddy telling him this, he’d have spat the words back and turned aside. But his foreman and friend was a straight shooter and not one who embroidered the truth. He gave a slow nod. “All right. I’ll think on what you’ve said abo
ut the liquor. I’ve knowed for a while that I’ve let it get out of hand. But what’s this about Leah takin’ a shine to Harding? I ain’t seen no proof of that, and I’m not sure I’m happy about the idea.”

  “You haven’t been watching, boss. I’ve seen little signs from the girl. She got overly irate when he put himself in danger, and she watches him when she thinks he’s not looking.” Buddy hunched a shoulder. “Nothing big, but Millie’s noticed too. I’m not sure Leah even knows it her own self, yet.”

  Charlie’s hand shook as he gripped his coffee mug. It had never occurred to him that his girl would fall in love and leave him. He’d be alone if she married, and he’d hate that. She belonged here, not with some man who didn’t deserve her, even if he had saved her life. “How about Harding? You think he feels the same?”

  Buddy hesitated. “Not certain, but I wouldn’t be surprised. She’s said a couple of things to him lately that set him back a mite, so it’s hard to say. But Leah’s a beautiful girl and more than that, she’s good clear through. Any man would be right proud to have her care for him. It’s a wonder to me she’s not been snapped up before this.”

  Charlie settled into his pillows propped up against the headboard. “Huh. I’m glad she hasn’t been snapped up. I don’t want her to leave the ranch. Not ever. Guess I’ll have to keep an eye on Harding. We’ve got enough to deal with without some city man comin’ in and hurtin’ my girl. I’ll run him out on a rail if he does anything to hurt her.”

  Buddy peered at him over the rim of his mug. “Boss, I reckon it might be wise to look to your own self in that regard as well.”

  Charlie stiffened, and a hot retort sprang to his lips, but he bit it back as the memory returned of lying under the tree hearing the bellow of the bull. He’d been more than a little stupid that day, and if Buddy was right, his actions had gone a long way to hurting Leah more than anything Harding could do. Besides, there was also the matter of Leah’s ma. He suppressed a shudder and shoved that incident to the back of his mind. He couldn’t think about that right now. Tackling one issue at a time was the best he could do.