Dreaming on Daisies: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series Book 3)

by Miralee Ferrell

  Would she ever get the chance to experience holding a child in her arms who belonged to her? And would she be a good mother if it happened? She still found it hard to take in that her own mother had deserted her at a time when Leah had needed her most.

  A shudder shook her body. What if she lost interest in her son or daughter before they were grown? Had she disappointed Ma somehow and made her want to leave? Tom claimed that Pa had been the cause, but what if her behavior as a child contributed to her mother’s desertion? Her heart turned over at the idea, but she could think of no other reason Ma would leave her behind.

  Someone touched her arm, and Leah jumped. “Oh, Beth, I didn’t hear you come back in.”

  The young woman smiled and took a step back. “Forgive me. Were you thinking about Katherine and the baby?”

  “I suppose I was, in a way.” Leah shook off the last remnants of melancholy. “I would venture to guess you’ll be a wonderful mother when it’s your turn.”

  Beth’s cheeks colored, almost matching the deep rose of her gown. “Jeffery and I are hoping that might happen, but it’s early yet. Will you stay for supper?”

  Leah smiled. “I’m afraid not. When I left the ranch for the quilting meeting, I assumed I’d be home in time for dinner. Millie is probably fit to be tied that I haven’t shown up. I’m surprised they haven’t come looking.”

  A movement out the parlor window caught Leah’s attention. “It looks like I spoke too soon.”

  Beth peered in the direction Leah pointed, then clapped her hands. “It’s Steven! It’s been too long since he’s visited.” Her smile dimmed. “Are you upset that he came?”

  Leah worked to produce another smile. She wasn’t exactly upset. But Steven’s appearance simply emphasized her feelings of being alone. More than once since he’d arrived at the ranch she’d allowed her thoughts to swing to him, wondering if they might have a chance at a real friendship. Now she realized how much more she wanted than friendship.

  But as kind and helpful as Steven had been, he was a city man at heart. He worked in a bank and enjoyed being around people. He’d even admitted he’d grown up on a farm, but from what she could discern, he’d chosen to leave.

  No matter how much her heart was drawn to him, she couldn’t allow herself to become interested in someone who didn’t share the same goals and desires she had—or who might leave when he tired of working the land. Look what had happened when Pa had tried to keep Ma tied to their ranch.

  “Leah?” Beth touched her hand. “Is anything wrong?”

  “I’m sorry.” Leah worked to corral her thoughts. “I must have been gathering wool again.”

  The hearty cry from the baby drifted down the hall, interrupting her need to answer Beth’s inquiry further. “It sounds like Baby Jacobs is awake.”

  Beth nodded. “Can you share his name with me?”

  Leah bobbed her head. “I don’t think Katherine would mind. They wanted to tell the children themselves. They named him Trent, after Katherine’s father. Trent Micah Jacobs. A good, strong name, don’t you think?”

  “Indeed it is.” Beth slipped her fingers through the crook of Leah’s elbow. “Now let’s welcome my brother and see if we can convince him to stay for supper. There’s no need to rush back to the ranch now that he knows you’re safe.”

  But it was difficult for Leah to even enjoy this moment with her new friend. Her entire world had tipped sideways with Tom’s arrival, the revelation of her mother’s betrayal, and her father’s lies. She clenched her hands in the folds of her skirt, wondering if she’d ever feel safe from betrayal again, even with Steven.

  Chapter Twenty

  May 5, 1881

  Leah strode up the path to Virginia’s inviting cottage as the memory of the women’s comments from yesterday’s quilting session beat in her ears. Virginia had known her mother years ago, and if anyone would have information, it would be the older woman.

  More than one young woman had gone to Virginia for wisdom and advice over the years, and it was very possible Ma had as well. Leah’s stomach felt queasy that she might learn something to confirm that her mother hadn’t cared and purposely left her and Pa alone.

  She shifted the package of freshly baked bread to the crook of her elbow and rapped on the door.

  Virginia swung wide the door, every hair in place and looking her normal tranquil self, although her eyes appeared tired. “Leah, how good to see you, dear. Can you come in and stay for a chat?” She stepped aside and moved back a pace.

  Leah held out the bread. “Yes, thank you. I heard from the ladies that you’ve been feeling poorly, and Millie and I thought you might enjoy fresh bread.” She moved into the cozy living area, noting the clean, tidy appearance of the hardwood floors and colorful rugs gracing the center of the room.

  Virginia stopped beside her. “The bread smells lovely. Thank you. May I cut you a slice and bring you a cup of tea? The kettle is on, and it’s ready to pour.”

  Leah nodded. “That would be nice, but I don’t want to put you to any trouble.”

  “Nonsense. I’m much better today, and my eyes are tired of reading, anyway. I’m ready for a nice chat. Please, take a seat, and I’ll be back in a moment.”

  She waited until Leah sat in a chair near the one she’d vacated and then hurried from the room, returning a short time later with a tray of cups, a teapot, a plate of sliced bread, and what appeared to be a honey pot. After setting the tray on the low table near Leah’s knees, Virginia poured the tea and handed a cup to Leah.

  “Thank you. I must be honest. There’s a personal reason I came to see you.” She took a sip of the tea.

  Virginia inclined her head but didn’t speak. A grandfather clock struck the hour.

  Leah set her cup on the tray and sighed. “I want to ask what you remember about my mother. You knew her well, didn’t you? Hester Sue thought Ma visited you years ago.”

  “She did occasionally.”

  “Were you close?”

  Virginia’s forehead wrinkled; then she gave a slight shrug. “Not terribly. I’m not sure anyone was close to your mother. She didn’t share her heart much, I’m afraid.”

  “I thought maybe …” Leah hesitated, then rushed forward. “Maybe she might have told you the truth, about why she left us.”

  Virginia peered at Leah before setting her cup carefully on her saucer. “Left you? Child, it’s my understanding your mother died. Whatever do you mean?”

  Leah blew her breath out, relief surging through her and almost leaving her weak. “So you didn’t know all these years that she was alive? You haven’t been keeping it from me?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, but believe me when I tell you that there’s nothing I’ve been keeping from you concerning your mother. Now what is this all about?”

  Leah’s hands shook. Finally, she poured out the story of what she’d learned from Tom.

  Virginia sat quietly and listened, her face creasing in sorrow and then in sympathy as Leah concluded. “I’m so sorry, dear. I wish I had known. Maybe I could have talked to her and helped her find peace in the midst of her struggles. Barring that, I would have tried to keep in touch with her and urged her to return, to give your father another chance. Do you have any idea why she left him—and you? Did Tom give you any hint?”

  Leah shook her head. “Not really. He implied that Pa had driven her away, but that could be due to his own anger toward Pa.”

  “What does your father have to say?”

  “He refuses to discuss it or answer any of my questions.”

  “I’m not surprised.”

  Leah tensed, her attention riveted on the older woman’s face. “Why do you say that?”

  “Mary, your mother, didn’t talk much about Charlie or their relationship, but I remember her mentioning that his pride was all he had when the
y married—that he was a hard worker and mighty proud of the fact. I’m not sure exactly what she meant, but it’s very possible that her leaving wounded him deeply. If his pride is involved, I can understand how he might not want to discuss it.”

  “What do you think she meant by ‘all he had’?”

  “I assume that he had few worldly goods when they married. I know he was a very hard worker after they married. I didn’t know him before that time.”

  Leah leaned back in her chair. “That doesn’t make sense. They had the ranch when they married. I’ve lived there for as long as I can remember.”

  “I wish I could tell you more, dear. I didn’t meet your mother until you were several years old. I know she married Charlie when you were still a baby, but beyond that, I’m unsure.”

  Leah nodded. “Yes, I knew that, but I guess I never thought to ask for details. Thank you for sharing what you have, even if it’s not what I hoped to learn.”

  She scooted forward, onto the edge of the chair. “And there’s something you might not have heard yet that I can tell you. Katherine just had her baby—a boy! It appears Mrs. Cooper was right in her guess after all.”

  Virginia chortled, and the skin around her eyes crinkled. “I’m happy for Katherine, but I’m guessing Mrs. Cooper won’t let her daughter forget that she guessed right any too soon. Tell me all about it, and don’t leave out a single detail.”

  Steven stepped into the stirrup and settled onto the saddle on his gelding, but his mind wasn’t on the cattle he needed to move. It was on the look of dismay he’d seen on Leah’s face when he’d walked into the Jacobs’ boardinghouse parlor, day before yesterday.

  She’d done a masterful job cloaking it but not quickly enough. Why would his arrival evoke such a response? Could he have upset Leah and not realized it, or did it have to do with her brother?

  Trotting hoofbeats thudded off to his right, and he turned his head, almost dreading who he’d see. Tom hadn’t been the easiest person to bunk with since he’d arrived, although the younger man spent most of his evenings in town. It was all right with Steven, as they didn’t have much in common beyond the work they accomplished.

  The mare Tom sat astride slowed to a walk. “Thought you might be able to use a little help bringing them in.” He gestured toward the acres of pasture that ended a half mile away at the base of a foothill and then frowned. “That is, if you want my help.”

  Steven forced a smile. He was a bigger man than this. There was no need to get worked up over having a little company on the ride, even if he was looking forward to time alone to think. “Sure. It’ll speed things up if we work together.”

  They rode in silence for a while, trotting their horses side by side. Cattle dotted the expanse of green, and contentment warmed Steven’s heart. How he’d missed the land. This wasn’t the farming he’d grown up with, but he was away from the city and the constant barrage of people. He hadn’t realized how much he’d longed for the solitude until recently.

  “So why are you here, anyway? You after my sister?” Tom’s blunt question jerked Steven out of his reflection.

  He swiveled to face Tom, the blood pulsing through his ears. “I beg your pardon?”

  Tom lifted a shoulder. “She’s a good girl, and I care about her. I don’t want to see any man fool with her heart if he doesn’t mean to do right by her.”

  Steven opened his mouth to reply, then snapped it shut. Nothing but anger would escape if he didn’t take a minute to cool down first. He drew in a long breath and allowed it to flow out through his nostrils. “I suppose I have a difficult time believing that, after the way you treated her when you arrived.”

  The young man bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Steven pulled his horse to a stop and reined around to face Tom. “That you were downright unkind in the things you said about her mother—your mother—and wounded Leah deeply.”

  Tom’s face paled. “That’s not true. I was telling her about Pa. How he drove Ma off with his behavior and ornery ways. What call do you have to say I spoke unkindly to my sister? I love my sister and don’t want to hurt her. I was telling her things about Pa—things she needs to know.”

  “You can’t be that dense, Pape. You think it’s all right to spill your guts about your mother leaving the ranch without so much as talking to her daughter or leaving a note? You truly believe that wouldn’t hurt your sister?”

  Tom fiddled with his reins. “She’s seemed all right the past few days. Besides, she told Pa she wanted me to stay, so she couldn’t be too mad, could she?”

  Anger roiled through Steven’s chest. He wanted to punch this cocky young rooster and then rub his face in the dirt until he understood what he’d done. After lifting a silent prayer heavenward for patience, he returned his attention to Tom. Could he really be that thickheaded, or was he simply insensitive to others’ feelings?

  “Why did you come back? So you could tell Leah all the hurtful things about her mother’s past, or to get even with your pa somehow? Are you planning on running off and disappearing again once you’ve accomplished that goal?”

  Tom stared at him, his face working. Whether with grief or anger, Steven couldn’t tell. He pulled his hat off and slapped his leg, making the dust fly, then shoved it back onto his head. “Who are you to question me? You’re not my pa or my boss, and I don’t have to listen to this. I guess you’re on your own with the cattle.”

  Steven sat his mount without moving and kept his eyes on the receding rider as he cantered across the meadow. Not toward home, but straight for town. He shook his head and clucked to his gelding. He probably should have kept quiet and not stirred things up, but he certainly wouldn’t stay silent any longer. Charlie had simmered in his own stew of emotions since his son arrived and didn’t seem to notice the hurt his daughter waded through. Somebody needed to care, and Steven guessed it ought to be him.

  Leah had about all she could tolerate of her wishy-washy brother. First Tom arrived all cold and standoffish. Then he decided to stay and make her life miserable. Every time she thought he was starting to thaw and treat as like he had when they were children, he presented another side of his personality—cold, silent, morose, or all three.

  Then there was the occasional smile that seemed to escape without his permission or the laughter that rang out when he thought she wasn’t close by.

  Thankfully, he’d ridden out after Steven to help gather cattle, so she had a couple of hours to herself. She should be with them, but it wasn’t a big job. Only a handful of cows with their calves remained unbranded, and those had been sighted not far from the ranch.

  She gathered her skirt above her ankles and struck out across the meadow, intent on getting as far from the menfolk as possible. Pa wasn’t much easier to get along with, although she had to admit he’d slowed down on his drinking since Frances Cooper had come to visit.

  Leah hopped over a rabbit hole and skirted around a stand of brush. Why Mrs. Cooper bothered with Pa, she couldn’t understand. The last time she came she’d spoken about doing her Christian duty, but she couldn’t imagine what good Mrs. Cooper would do.

  A bird sang from a branch overhead, trilling with almost exuberant joy. Leah stopped under the tree and looked up, but the bird flew to a higher limb and commenced to scold her for trespassing. Stripping a willowy branch off the tree, she absently flicked at the tips of the long grass as she waded toward the top of the knoll. If only her life could be so simple and basic.

  But then there was Steven Harding. She still hadn’t figured him out. One day she was certain he was ready to hightail it back to town and wash his hands of ranching. The next, he was excelling at the work she gave him and doing it with a smile.

  Why were men so hard to understand—or, more to the point, so hard to live with? And men complained about women. Ha! She swung her slender whip and clipped off the top of a weed, feeling
quite satisfied with the action.

  Leah trudged up the hill until she reached the crest. She slowed her steps and allowed her eyes to roam over the countryside ahead of her. It had been years since she’d been up here. Nine, as a matter of fact. It had been summer, and the wild daisies were in full bloom.

  A week before Ma died.

  She drew in a long breath and blew it out hard.

  Before Ma ran away.

  Everything in her life came back to that one pivotal point. She still found it hard to believe. Ma had loved her. She’d been sure of it. She had counted on the memory of that love to get her through so many difficult times with Pa and the lonely days without Tom. Couldn’t God have left her at least one anchor to hold on to? Did everything have to be stripped away?

  Leah shaded her eyes and studied the wide expanse of the ranch. She’d almost waited and asked Steven if he wanted to accompany her to the top of the hill. He could have seen the beautiful view and maybe come to better appreciate the ranch.

  But she’d decided against it. This first trip must be made alone. She’d avoided this hilltop for years, but now she had to face the memories.

  Not much had changed—but everything had changed.

  Everything that mattered.

  It was the same hillside, the same view looking down toward town, with the towering Wallowa Mountains as a backdrop. But nothing had ever been the same since the day Ma had gone. The sun shone in a cloudless sky, and a warm breeze stirred the wisps of red curls that escaped the bow at the base of her neck.

  She looked around, half expecting to see the white daisies with the rich yellow centers dotting the hillside, but it was still early. Memories threatened to swamp her. She’d sat near here, holding a special box in her hands, one that Pa had carved for her seventh birthday. Only very special things were to go in that box, he’d told her. Then he tickled her belly, kissed her cheek, and called her his precious little girl.

  When had that affection and sparkle in his eyes disappeared? When had Pa grown morose and turned to the bottle instead of to his children’s love?