Dreaming on Daisies: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series Book 3)

by Miralee Ferrell

  Frances smiled. “It is the least I can do, Charles. I would be proud to help you learn how to stand strong and depend on God’s love instead of your own pride. I will admit, it is not an easy lesson, and you may take more steps backward than forward, but if you continue the journey, you will be more than happy with the results at its completion.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  May 30, 1881

  The day had dragged with Steven gone to the bank. Leah hated becoming emotionally dependent on anyone, especially a man—and particularly since she knew Steven was considering moving to La Grande. Her father and brother had both failed her in the past, and there was no guarantee Steven wouldn’t end up being cut from the same cloth.

  She’d told herself repeatedly that Steven would stand by her. After all, he’d declared he wanted to have some kind of future together. Any betrayal by him couldn’t be true. But years ago she’d thought the best of Pa, Ma, and Tom, as well.

  Leah glanced at the sun, well past its zenith, and smiled. Steven would be home in the next hour or so. Most of the pressing chores were done, and Buddy was turning the horses they’d used today out to pasture. Maybe she should find her father and have the talk she’d been dreading since finding her mother’s letter. But what would he say that hadn’t already been said?

  She’d waited, worried he might hit the bottle again when he learned the truth. For some reason that she still didn’t understand, he’d been strangely sober for over three weeks—or possibly longer—and she hated doing anything that might tip the balance in the other direction.

  Well, there was no help for it. The longer she put it off, the harder it would become. Pa had been quiet and withdrawn since Tom left the ranch, and she’d not had an opportunity to talk with him since that awful day she’d confronted them both.

  A chill chased across her skin, and she rubbed her arms in spite of the warm sun. Tom had always assumed the ranch would be his someday. When he’d walked away six years ago without looking back, Leah figured he’d lost all interest. But when he returned, seeming to think that the ranch was his right, she wasn’t so sure anymore.

  Truth be told, she had expected him to rear up on his hind legs and scream long and loud. Instead, he’d left on the stage for parts unknown. But maybe he’d come back soon and do just that, once the shock of their mother’s revelation faded.

  She pushed open the barn door and stepped into the cool, dim interior, thankful Pa was here rather than in the house. Not that she didn’t trust Millie or Buddy, but this was between Pa and her. “Pa? You still in here?”

  “I’m in the tack room, cleanin’ the saddles. Come keep me company while I finish up.” There was a cheerful note in his voice that she hadn’t heard in months—or had it been years?

  Leah stopped in the open doorway and smiled, loving the sight of her father standing relaxed and easy in the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window. “Looks like you’re almost finished.”

  She stepped into the spacious room and glanced around. “The shelves are dusted! Oh my. And all the bridles are clean and bits shining.” She turned amazed eyes on her father. He hadn’t done anything like this in years; it had always fallen on her shoulders. “I’ve been meaning to take care of this for some time now.”

  He growled low in his throat. “Wasn’t nothin’. I reckon you’ve had more than your share of work. Thought you might like things all spiffed up and purty.”

  She wanted to race across the open space and throw her arms around his neck and hug him, but she stood rooted to the ground. This was not in character. Who was this man, and why the sudden change? Was it possible he hoped she’d feel sorry for him and return control of the ranch?

  Shame washed over her mere seconds later. That was unkind and certainly without foundation. Had she become so hardened by her father’s past actions that she couldn’t take his current kindness at face value? She moved closer and touched his shoulder. “Thank you, Pa. I know Ma always appreciated it too.”

  He ducked his head and kicked at a rock embedded in the hard-packed dirt floor. “I’m doin’ it for you.” He raised watery eyes and smiled. “But don’t you go to repeatin’ that, or I’ll have to deny it. I don’t want Tom comin’ back and thinkin’ I’m gettin’ soft.”

  Leah tipped her head to the side. “Tom wouldn’t think worse of you, Pa.”

  “Maybe so, maybe not. But I don’t aim to give him the satisfaction. He’s been plumb ornery since he got home. The boy needs to be put in his place and not be so cocky. When he gets back, if he comes back, I’m goin’ to tell him so. See if I don’t.”

  Leah sighed. She’d started to hope Pa was softening, and he had to toss this out. “Have you considered he might not be as ornery if he thought you weren’t against him?”

  He dropped the cleaning rag onto the saddle and swiveled toward her. “I ain’t against him at all. I don’t like his attitude since he got back, thinkin’ he can spout off and speak his mind without carin’ whose feelin’s he might be trompin’ on.”

  “Have you told him he’s hurt your feelings, Pa?”

  He jerked and gaped at her. “Me? I wasn’t talkin’ about myself; I meant you. All that talk about your ma and her not writin’ to you or askin’ you to come see her. I saw how much it cut you, and I’m plumb sorry. You didn’t deserve to be caught in the middle of this mess.”

  Leah hesitated, unsure what to say. It was rare for her father to apologize, and it meant even more since he still seemed wounded by her mother’s desertion. But she knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t appreciate her camping on what he’d said and sifting through his words. “Thanks, Pa. I’m sorry too.”

  “’Bout what? You didn’t do nothin’ wrong that I can remember.” He scratched his head. “Somethin’ you need to tell your pa?”

  “I meant I’m sorry it’s been hard for you, too.” She hesitated a moment, then plunged forward. “Actually, there is. I know you must be upset about Ma leaving the ranch to me. You’ve thought it would be yours all these years, and you’ve worked hard to make it a success.”

  She winced. “I’m not going to lie to you, Pa. You’ve let a lot of things go, what with your drinking and all, but I think I’m starting to understand that more than I used to.”

  He bent over the saddle, rubbing with renewed vigor. “Maybe, maybe not. Guess I have been drinkin’ a mite more than I oughta.”

  He lifted his head and stared straight into her eyes. “Truth be told, I shouldn’t have been drinkin’ at all. It hasn’t done a blasted thing but make me miserable. I hate myself the next day, and even more when I see how it hurts you. Me and God talked about it, and I decided to give it up. With His help, if He’s willin’.”

  Leah wanted to hug him but wasn’t sure he’d receive it. “I’m glad, Pa. More than I can say. And I’m proud of you too.”

  A wave of red suffused his cheeks. “What you think of Mrs. Cooper?”

  Leah struggled to take in his declaration about drinking, much less his mention of Mrs. Cooper. “Uh, I suppose she’s a nice-enough woman. A bit outspoken and blunt, but she seems to have a good heart.”

  “Uh-huh. My thoughts exactly.” He commenced to scrubbing the leather again.

  Leah touched his arm. “Pa? I’m very happy about what you said—about not drinking anymore. It’s wonderful. But why did you ask me about Mrs. Cooper?”

  He mumbled under his breath.

  “What did you say?”

  He kept his eyes cast down, and his fingers kept moving. “I’m thinkin’ of callin’ on her, is all. Didn’t know what you might think. But I don’t got nothin’ to offer a woman, especially now. Guess it was a poor idea all around. Forget I asked about her, all right?”

  Leah’s heart hammered in her chest. Mrs. Cooper and Pa? She shook her head, not sure if she should shout with laughter or groan with despair. “All right, then. Pa, about t
he ranch, I was thinking—”

  He dropped the rag and his head snapped up. “Don’t you go to sayin’ what I think you’re going to. I won’t take no charity, even from my daughter. I ought not to have expected anything different from your ma.”

  Leah opened her lips to protest, but the words died before they were born. Stubborn pride shone on Pa’s face, as well as something else. Sadness. Grief. A yearning she’d not seen before.

  “Pa? We haven’t really talked about Ma leaving, but it had to cut deep. Did you love her when you married, or were you mostly trying to give her security and a man to help around the ranch?” She worded it that way intentionally, praying he’d finally open up and tell her the truth. There’d been too many half-truths and outright lies over the years, and she wanted that part of their life to change.

  He stared out the window without responding, then turned and picked up the rag. Leaning over the old saddle, he scrubbed at the leather as though trying to restore it to its former self. “Guess I loved her, all right. When I told her I’d care for you, I done it because I fell for you hard. I never hoped for anything more from either of you than you both might love me.”

  Leah’s heart took wing at the revelation. Her father had never been this forthcoming about his feelings or his past before. Ma had clearly stated she’d never been in love with Pa. She’d only ever loved Leah’s real father … the one Leah didn’t remember. She decided to change to a less painful question. “How did you meet Ma?”

  He peered at her beneath hunkered brows. “Why all the questions, girl?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I suppose because I’ve never asked but always wondered. Neither of you talked about meeting or getting married. Did you know her long?”

  “Your birth pa was a good friend. I used to come out here and help Aaron do chores. Got to know Mary before Aaron passed. Good man, a hard worker and steady, with a gentle heart. The kind of man your ma needed in her life.” He turned his head away.

  Leah waited, praying he’d continue but hating to push. This might be all he’d share, and if so, that was all right. It was more than he’d ever been willing to say. She wanted to tell him he was kind too, had been when she was young, and that it was the drink that made him surly and mean. But this wasn’t the time.

  He’d made a declaration that he wanted to change, and she’d stand beside him in his battle to stay sober. No, it was better to be silent and allow him to say as much or as little as he wanted for now.

  He glanced back at her. “I thought a lot of her even then. I could tell it was hard on her, livin’ on this ranch and doin’ work she wasn’t used to. She and your pa met in the city and fell in love. He told me once he offered to move away from here, but she wouldn’t hear of it. His heart was in the land, and she loved him so much she promised to stay with him, help him become a success.”

  He rested his weight on the pommel of the saddle and gave a sad smile. “I guess when your pa died, I thought I was helpin’ by offerin’ to marry her and give you a father. You were the prettiest little thing. Bushels of red hair even when you were a tyke, with bright eyes and a winsome smile that wrapped all the cowboys around your finger.”

  Leah smiled at the picture he’d painted. “And Ma agreed to marry you? So soon after my father died?”

  “I waited as long as I could—three months I think it were—but she was strugglin’ to boss the cowboys and get the work done. Buddy and Millie hadn’t come along yet, and Mary didn’t know the first thing about ranch work.” He shook his head. “I knew she didn’t love me, but I always hoped she’d learn to, one day. I saw how loyal she was to your pa, and I guess I thought …”

  Leah winced at the pain that laced Pa’s words. He’d thought Ma would fall in love with him and want to stay on the ranch, be his helpmeet, the same as she’d promised to do for her first husband. But it never happened. Ma never fell in love with Charlie Pape, and the ranch became her prison. “I’m sorry, Pa. I never knew.”

  He straightened and turned with a smile. “Guess it don’t matter now. She did two good things for me, that’s for sure and for certain.”

  “What were they?” Leah returned the smile, happy he’d been able to pull away from his gloomy memories.

  “She birthed Tom, and she let me keep you when she left. I made her swear she wouldn’t try to convince you to move to the city. If she was gonna leave me, she had to promise to give you a chance at happiness on the ranch you loved so much. I think she got to the point where she couldn’t abide the sight of me.”

  He choked on the last word and coughed. “It woulda tore my heart out if she’d taken you away with her. It was hard enough when Tom decided to leave. I’m not sure what I’d a done if you’d left too.”

  Leah wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a fierce hug, placing her lips close to his ear. “I love you, Pa.” She didn’t know what had softened her father’s heart so much, but whatever it was, she was grateful. And there was no way she’d say anything more about the ranch today. No, sir, she wouldn’t risk ruining this rare time of love and companionship for all the ranches in Oregon.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  June 9, 1881

  Steven settled his hat tighter on his head, wondering if this was a good time to talk to Charlie. He’d hung around the bunkhouse, hoping he’d get a chance before he headed to La Grande. He didn’t want to tell Leah of his plans and worry her, but he couldn’t simply disappear, as that would certainly cause her concern. Maybe telling Buddy would be a better choice.

  Steven had hoped to have some kind of a relationship with Charlie, but he’d never quite figured out how to get close to the man. But lately, Leah’s pa seemed different. He was mellower, not so belligerent, and more approachable somehow. Perhaps the departure of his son, two weeks ago, had made him rethink his choices.

  A jaunty whistle split the air outside the bunkhouse. Rusty barked and rushed across the porch, his tail thumping against the post next to the steps. Steven stopped in the open doorway and stared, unable to believe the whistle came from Charlie.

  He strode up the path toward the cabin, carrying a tray containing a plate heaped with doughnuts and two mugs. “Hey there, Harding. Millie baked some bear sign, and they go mighty good with coffee. Want some?”

  Steven grinned, remembering his father calling doughnuts by the same name, but it still created a not-so-pleasant image in his mind. He sniffed and closed his eyes as the fragrance of warm doughnuts and hot coffee surrounded him. “Don’t mind if I do. I was hoping I’d find you today, anyway.”

  Charlie plunked himself into a chair on the porch and shoved the tray toward Steven. “Help yourself.” He waved at Rusty, who crept forward, his tongue hanging out. “These ain’t for you, fella.”

  He peeked at Steven, then broke off a chunk and tossed it to the dog. “Well, maybe it won’t hurt to share a bite. Never could stand that sorrowful look when he wants somethin’.”

  Steven bit into a sugar-coated doughnut and sighed. “Millie’s got to be the best cook in the county.”

  Charlie grunted and polished off another sweet treat. “The whole blasted state if you ask me.”

  “Right.”

  Silence fell between them, and the plate emptied. Rusty crept a little closer, and Steven tossed him a bite, careful not to look directly at Charlie, who pretended to study a bird strutting and screeching on a tree branch nearby.

  Steven stretched his legs in front of him, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight filtering through the leaves and slanting under the porch roof. “I’ve got a question for you, if you aren’t in a hurry.”

  Charlie turned toward Steven. “No rush at all. The morning chores are done, Leah’s in town at her quiltin’ meetin’, so she’s not apt to thump me with a broom for lazyin’ around, and Buddy’s at the house eatin’ his fill of bear sign. He won’t be in no hurry to roust me out. What’s on your mind?” />
  Now that the time had come, Steven wasn’t sure what to say. He could tell Charlie about his trip, but should he go beyond that? One step at a time. “I’ll be away for a few days. I don’t want anyone to worry.”

  Charlie stared. “You tell Leah?”

  “No, I didn’t see her before she left. I thought I’d talk to you or Buddy. I’m going to stop by the boardinghouse to see my sister and mother, and I’ll leave from there for La Grande.” He shifted his gaze away from Charlie, not sure how to proceed.

  Charlie narrowed his eyes. “What you tryin’ to hide, young man?”

  Steven winced. “I imagine you deserve to know the truth since you’re Leah’s father.”

  “Uh-huh.” His bushy brows bunched close together. “That I am. Spill whatever you got to say, boy, without varnishin’ it.”

  Steven sat straighter. “Yes, sir. Well, it’s this way.” He brushed a patch of dust off his trousers, then looked up. “I care for your daughter, Mr. Pape, but I’ve been offered a promotion that would take me to La Grande. I’m still considering what I ought to do.”

  “Charlie.” The older man growled the word. “You takin’ a shine to my girl don’t mean you got to call me Mr. Pape, even if you are a banker.” He scratched his head. “We never did have us a talk about that, neither—you sneakin’ out here and workin’ on my ranch and all the while you were a banker.”

  Steven stared at the man, confused at the turn in the conversation. “I beg your pardon? I didn’t sneak. Your daughter offered me a place to live after my cabin burned. What does my being a banker have to do with anything?”

  Charlie held up his hand. “Hold on. I didn’t mean no offense, although I can see why you’d take it that way. Guess I’d best start over. When you first showed up, I tried to find out who you were and what you were doin’, but Leah shied away from my questions like a young colt runnin’ from a scary critter. That set me to wonderin’, so I followed you to town one mornin’ and seen you go in that bank and sit in your fancy office. Been wonderin’ ever since why you’d bother with us ranch folks.