Millie’s shriek almost split his eardrums as she raced past him and plummeted down the steps. “Tom! Charlie … you brought him home?”
Steven turned, his joy almost complete as he watched the young man wrap Millie in a hug that seemed to go on forever.
Tom finally let go, only to be met by a hearty slap on the shoulder by Buddy. “About time you got yourself back here, boy. What took you so long?” He turned to Charlie and gripped the man’s shoulder. “This your doing, boss? If so, I’m right proud to be your friend.”
Tom brushed his knuckles across his eyes. “Pa came to get me, Buddy. Him and Steven. All the way to La Grande. They talked me into coming back.” He looked around, and his tentative smile faded. “Where’s Leah?”
Millie sobered, then gestured to the hill beyond the house. “She’s up there. Took her ma’s letters you gave her. I thought she’d be back by now, but I don’t plan to rush her. Don’t think you should either.”
She gave Tom and Charlie a stern look before turning to Steven. “But I got me a feelin’ she’s hankerin’ to talk to you, young man. And if you know what’s good for you, you’d best hightail it up there. You’ve got some explainin’ to do.”
Charlie scowled. “Why him? I’m her pa. I oughta go up there and make sure she’s all right.”
Buddy laid a firm hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “No, sir, you oughtn’t.” He nodded at Steven. “Millie’s right. Harding needs to explain why he lit a shuck outta here without so much as a by-your-leave to Leah.”
Steven felt as though a giant had slammed him in the gut and knocked out every bit of wind. “What do you mean, without a word? Charlie, you told her we were going to La Grande, right? And how long we’d be gone, and why we were going?”
Charlie scratched his head. “Well now, Leah weren’t here when I come to the house to get my things, so I left word with Millie. You gave her my message, didn’t you?”
Millie harrumphed and laced her arms over her chest. “What scant bit there was, I did. But there wasn’t nothin’ about Steven comin’ back, nor anything about findin’ Tom. We was all worried and tryin’ to figure out what took you both outta here in such a hurry.”
She beamed a smile at Tom. “’Course, I’m right happy it turned out like it did.”
Then she rounded on Charlie. “But you got some explainin’ to do, your own self.” She reached out and grabbed him. “You come in, eat, and tell me how you found this boy and what happened.”
She jerked her head at Steven. “While he goes up on that hill and makes his peace with Leah.”
Leah placed the wreath on her head and closed her eyes. Wishing for her prince to arrive wouldn’t bring any more results than it had for her mother. She could do something else, even more important. “I want to forgive you, Mama.” She whispered the words over a lump in her throat. She’d known for a long time this must be done, and it was fitting it be here—and now.
But it was hard. So very hard to let the anger go and, even harder, to part with the hurt. But maybe she didn’t have to deal with all of the hurt right now. Maybe all God expected of her was to give Him the anger, and He’d take care of the rest.
“Mama, I missed you for so many years. Then I found out you hadn’t died but deserted me. I think for a while I hated you, because I didn’t understand. Part of me still doesn’t, but I don’t hate you anymore.” The tears rolled. She couldn’t stop now. She didn’t dare open her eyes, or she’d lose her courage.
“I think I understand, a little. If you loved my real father as much as I love Steven, I see why your heart was broken. Why you found it impossible to love again. Maybe a part of you wasn’t selfish—you might have thought you were sacrificing—to give me the life my father loved so much and would want me to have. Maybe you didn’t want to make me choose when I was young.”
A tear dripped, but she no longer cared. Nor did she care about the sobs that ripped open her heart. She covered her face and rocked back and forth. “Oh, God, please help me let go of this once and for all.”
She drew in a shuddering breath and released it slowly, keeping her head bowed. “I forgive you, Mama. With all my heart.” The hardness inside cracked, and a flood of healing cascaded over her spirit.
She sat without moving for several long minutes, drinking in the peace that enveloped her. Somehow Leah caught a glimpse of the future. She might have to forgive her mother again and again, as new hurts and memories surfaced. The pain of the past wasn’t all washed away with a few simple words, but the door to restoration had finally opened. With God’s help, she didn’t intend to enter that dark place again.
“Thank You.” Leah whispered the words to the Father who would never forsake her, would never betray her. Leah sat with her head bowed and eyes closed, basking in the gentle tranquility that wrapped her in a cocoon of warmth.
All this time, she’d thought the most important thing in her life was the ranch. It was what she’d lived for, worked for, dreamed about improving.
Now she realized how wrong she’d been. People mattered so much more than things. Her father. Tom. Millie. Buddy.
And Steven.
She’d fought her feelings for him long enough. It was time to fully admit she was in love with the man. Time to give her fear of the future to God and allow Him to make of her future what He willed.
“I choose to trust You, Lord. With Pa, and the ranch, and Tom. Somehow, some way, I’m going to trust You about Steven, no matter what the circumstances look like right now. I love him, Father, and I’m asking You to bring him home.
“I’m going to make things right with Pa, and I want to find Tom and forgive him. Please, please help me put my pride aside where the people I love are concerned. I’ve blamed Pa for having too much pride, but I’m like him. Thank You for choosing to love me in spite of all that I’ve done.”
She lifted her head and opened her eyes.
And gasped.
Steven stood a few paces away, his hat removed and head bowed. How long had he been there, and how much had he heard? Leah wanted to jump up and race to him, throw her arms around his neck and hold on for all she was worth.
But what if he’d heard her asking God to help her to trust Him about Steven? What if he’d heard her say she loved him, and he didn’t feel the same way? Another thought hit her and left her insides quaking. Had he returned to get the rest of his things from the bunkhouse and tell her good-bye?
“Steven? What’s wrong? Are you all right?”
His eyes snapped open. “I’m absolutely perfect. But it appears I’ve once again interrupted you at a bad time. Would you like me to leave you alone? I can talk to you when you come to the house.”
“No!” Leah almost choked on the word. “I mean, please stay. I have so much to tell you, ask you—”
A slow, glowing smile lit his face and sent a delicious shiver clear to Leah’s toes.
“I’d like that. May I sit?” He motioned toward the grassy area nearby and waited for her approval. Lowering himself onto the grass, he glanced at the wreath of flowers on her head. “Is this a special occasion?”
She reached up and touched the daisies as warmth stole into her cheeks. She’d placed the garland there when remembering her mother and completely forgotten to remove it. It probably looked silly—something a child would do, not a grown woman. “My mother and I used to make them, then pretend … it doesn’t matter.” She pulled off the wreath and placed it carefully in her lap.
Steven captured her hand in his. “It matters very much to me. Everything about you matters. Will you tell me about it?”
Her fingers felt so alive, vibrant, tingling. Excitement flooded her as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. She wasn’t sure she could even respond, much less keep her mind clear enough to answer.
Finally, she smiled. “I’d rather hear what you have to say first. You were gone a long tim
e. I know it was only six days, but it felt like so much more.”
Leah looked down at their entwined fingers. “I thought—I assumed—you’d gone to La Grande to take the job. Have you come back to gather your things? Will you be leaving again?” She worked to keep her voice steady, not wanting him to sense the fear and anxiety hovering below the surface.
His hold tightened, and the silence lengthened. Finally, Steven leaned forward. “I’m so sorry, Leah. I thought Charlie had told you … or at least that he asked Millie to tell you I was coming back in a few days. We didn’t plan on staying so long, but I had to wrap up the business at the bank, and it took longer than we expected to bring Tom home.”
Leah’s heart catapulted into her throat, and she thought she might choke. She jumped to her feet. “Tom? Wrapping up the job? What? How …” She pressed her palm against her chest, trying to still the wild beating. Tom was home? Had her father come too? Of course he had. There would be no reason for him to stay in La Grande.
But the two of them together … maybe she should return and make sure everything was all right. “I don’t want Tom and Pa fighting again. I have to convince Tom to stay this time. He needs to know that Ma wrote about him in her letters—how much she loved and appreciated him.”
He stood, then gently, quietly captured her hand and drew her close. “Wait. Remember what you told God a few minutes ago? That you were going to trust Him with Tom and your father?” A glint lit his eyes, and he gave her a teasing grin. “And maybe even me, if you could.”
Once again warmth flooded Leah’s cheeks, and she twisted her head, embarrassed that he’d heard her prayer—and her confession.
Steven tenderly touched her chin with his fingers and turned her to face him. “Leah, I didn’t take the job. I told them I have too much here that I care for.”
Leah’s chest constricted. “Of course. Beth and your mother.”
His grip tightened, and he leaned closer. “I care very much for my family. But that wasn’t all I was talking about. Do you remember once that you asked why I left our farm and moved to the city? We ended up in an argument, and I never explained.”
She nodded, remembering all too clearly that she’d been the cause of that upset.
Steven gave a sad smile. “I’ve always loved the land, but my stepfather was a poor money manager. I wasn’t old enough to advise him, and I don’t know that he would have listened, regardless. He was a good man, but like your father, he had a proud spirit.
“My mother and I had to sell the farm for less than it was worth. We purchased a cabin on the outskirts of La Grande with enough land for a garden and a milk cow. All I salvaged from the farm were three valuable mares that I sold. Ma insisted I keep the money for the future, as she knew how much I wanted to buy my own land.”
Leah’s pulse raced, and she lifted her face and met his eyes. “Truly?”
“Yes. I’ll admit I was tired of struggling and thankful for the job at the bank, due to the steady income. But it didn’t take many months after moving to Baker City to decide I wasn’t cut out for city life and being a banker.”
Steven caressed Leah’s cheek with his fingertips. “Then I met you. I no longer cared about anything but trying to make you happy.” His face came within inches of hers and stopped.
Leah could feel his warm breath, and she closed her eyes. His fingers trailed down the side of her face, stopping to cup her cheek.
“Leah? May I kiss you?” The words were breathless and heavy with meaning.
She didn’t reply but lifted her face and leaned toward him. His lips met hers, and everything within her danced. Sizzling arcs raced through her veins. Steven’s arms came around her, and his kiss deepened until she thought she would swoon.
After several glorious moments he lifted his head and laid his face against her hair. “I love you, Leah.”
She pulled back a few inches, but he didn’t release his hold. “What did you say?”
“I love you. With all my heart and soul. For as long as I live.” He captured her lips again.
This time she clung to him, drinking in his scent, the feel of his lips, and the strength of his arms drawing her close.
Too soon he released his tight hold but rested his forehead against hers. “Did you hear me that time?”
She nodded, barely able to breathe.
“Do you have anything to say in return?”
“I think you heard me earlier.”
He barely moved in assent. “But I’d very much like to hear it again. Only this time, please say it to me, instead of to God?”
“I love you, Steven, and I trust you. Completely.” She raised her eyes and met his. Somehow she must help him understand what she’d battled for so long. “I’m so sorry I’ve not shown you before—that I didn’t open my heart to you. I was so afraid to let you in, so frightened to trust—so sure I’d be betrayed again by someone I cared for.”
“Shh.” He drew back and placed his fingertips against her lips. “No more sorrow or regret. You’ve endured enough for a lifetime. I want to spend the rest of my life bringing you happiness and, I hope, security. If you’ll have me, that is? Will you marry me, Leah? Soon?”
She nodded and did what she’d wanted to do for so long. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, laughing and crying at the same time. “Yes. The sooner the better. But we still need to deal with Tom and Pa and the ranch.”
He shook his head. “Tom and your pa are at peace with one another. When Charlie found Tom in La Grande, he was so happy and relieved. He told your brother he loved him, was sorry he’d wronged him, and wanted him to return home.”
Leah gasped and blinked. “Pa said he was sorry and told Tom he loves him? Really?” It was almost too much to take in. Steven loved her, Pa loved her, and Tom was home. Then another thought struck. “What did Tom say? Did he accept Pa’s apology? He didn’t say anything cruel to him, did he?”
Steven stroked her face, keeping his eyes on hers. “Not at all. In fact, your little brother broke. He cried and hugged Charlie and asked if he could come home, then admitted he’d wronged you too. I think he’ll have plenty to say when you go to the house.”
She closed her eyes as joy bubbled inside. Pa and Tom. Both home. Both at peace. Her world was finally fitting together again. “Now there’s one more thing I must take care of.”
He tipped her face up. “Whatever it is, can we get married after it’s done?”
She smiled and gave him another kiss. “Yes, Mr. Harding, we can.”
“Will you tell me?”
“I’m going to give the ranch to Pa.”
He stared. “Leah, the ranch is what you’ve wanted all your life. I can’t believe now that you know it’s yours that you’d give it up.” He bent and pressed a warm kiss on her lips. “But I’ll support whatever you decide. We’ll buy our own ranch in the future and start over. I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy.”
Leah shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You are what matters. Wherever you go, wherever you want to live, will be my home.” She leaned into him again, her lips lingering, and realized the dream she’d been so afraid to dream had finally come true. Only instead of a prince, God had sent her a man who could be trusted—a godly man who would stand beside her, love her, and guard her heart with all the love that his own contained.
Epilogue
A month later
Leah stood in the side room of the church where the quilting group had gathered, while Beth and Katherine settled the ivory-colored dress over her head and shook out the skirt. Leah ran her hand over the heavy lace edging on the square neck, still amazed that Millie had finished sewing this gown in only a month.
Of course, Virginia, Katherine, and Beth had all helped in various ways. Frances had donated the handmade lace she’d saved over the years, and Wilma, not wanting to be bested by her frie
nd, had urged Leah to accept the bolt of ivory silk she’d had shipped from back east. Leah had to giggle at the two women, both so proud of her while fiercely competitive at the same time.
The fitted bodice hugged Leah’s curves and dropped down to a point over the skirt. The satin skirt widened slightly, and a flowing train was attached at the back of the bodice, flounced with a small bustle. She felt like a princess as she looked in the mirror, barely recognizing the green-eyed redhead who stared back.
Katherine fastened the last pearl button on Leah’s bodice and then moved to the front. “You are positively stunning. I’m guessing Steven is going to faint dead away when he sees you, since you almost always wear trousers around him.” She touched a curl swept up on Leah’s head.
A tap at the door halted their discussion, and Beth glanced at Leah. Her eyes twinkled, and she shot Katherine a wicked grin. “Steven isn’t allowed to see Leah before the ceremony, so he’d better not try to sneak in here. If he does, I’ll have to use my sisterly charm on him and chase him down the hall.”
Leah giggled. “I have no idea who it is, but I do not want Steven to see me. Can you check?”
Beth eased the door open. “Oh, Mr. Pape. Frances. Did you want to see Leah? She’s all dressed and ready. Is it time for her to go?” She opened the door the rest of the way, and her father came in, Frances Cooper on his arm.
Leah looked at them both, and tears brimmed in her eyes. Pa wore a dapper black suit with a white shirt and string tie, and a black hat was tucked under his arm, although he looked a bit uncomfortable if she read him right. Frances was elegant as always in a deep blue gown with a high neck, modest ruffles at her wrists, and a straight skirt that fell to the floor. “You both look wonderful.”
He came to her, his eyes swimming. He dug at his tight collar. “So do you, Leah girl. I just hope I live long enough to see you married. Frances made me wear this ding-blasted—” He shot her a look and pressed his lips together.
Dreaming on Daisies: A Novel (Love Blossoms in Oregon Series Book 3) Page 28
