The Lonely Hearts Club

by Radclyffe

  “How so?”

  “Well it’s not like it looks like much of anything,” Liz said, “but I heard its heartbeat. I heard it. It’s growing inside me.” She stared at Reilly. “I can’t explain exactly how freaky that is. And amazing, too.”

  Reilly felt a swift stab of pain. She’d never seen an ultrasound of Annie’s fetus. She looked at Liz and felt a million things she’d never felt for Annie. Protective, awestruck, strangely reverent, and constantly excited.

  “I’m sorry. Is this hard for you? Because of Annie?”

  Reilly shook her head. “Do you have it with you?”

  “What?” Liz asked, confused.

  “The ultrasound.”

  Liz blushed, then reached on the floor where she’d set her purse and rummaged around in it. “Here.”

  Reilly took the 4 x 5 inch Polaroid carefully and slanted it so the sunlight didn’t glare off the surface. Among the shadows, she picked out a dark oval surrounding an irregular white crescent. She ran her finger over the tiny shape. “Look at that.”

  “I bet you’ve seen a million.”

  Liz sounded self-conscious and Reilly, still studying the image, reached between them and took Liz’s hand. “Not like this.” She looked up and caught Liz’s eye. “Not this special. Did you send one to your sister?”

  “First thing,” Liz said quietly. “You remembered.”

  Reilly studied Liz, wondering why Liz sounded surprised. “I think about you.”

  “I think about you.”

  All the time, Reilly thought, I think about you all the time. And she didn’t know if that was good or bad, but she knew she didn’t want to stop. She realized she was still holding Liz’s hand, and she didn’t want to let go. She wondered about Julia, then decided she didn’t care. Liz was here right now, and she was tired of pretending she didn’t want her.

  “We should get back,” Liz said.

  “Okay.” Reilly gathered up the remains of their meal and returned the tray to the counter. When she got behind the wheel, Liz took her hand again.

  “And I want you to invite me up to your apartment when we get there.”

  Reilly drew Liz’s hand across the space between them and pressed it to her stomach. Then she started the car and backed out of the gravel lot, turned onto the one lane macadam road that would take them back to I-95 and the city, and covered Liz’s hand where it lay against her middle.

  “Okay.”

  “Aren’t you going to ask me why?” Liz inquired.

  “No,” Reilly said. “It doesn’t matter why. The answer is yes.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Can I get you anything?” Reilly asked as she closed the door to her apartment behind Liz. Thankfully, she’d picked up the place before Parker left, and the living room was reasonably neat. She’d left a stack of medical journals on the coffee table and her gym bag in front of the closet, but the bookcases were dust free and none of her laundry was lying around.

  “A soda would be great. Sprite?”

  Reilly frowned. “Maybe. It might require some serious excavation.”

  Liz laughed. “I should have asked what my choices were.”

  “Water. Coke, I think. Everything else is alcoholic.”

  “Water is fine.”

  Reilly pointed to the couch. “Have a seat. Let me see what I can find.”

  “I really don’t need anything.”

  Reilly hurried into the kitchen and squatted down to sort through the disorganized array of cans and bottles under the sink. Beer. Beer. Tuna fish. She frowned and put that up on the counter. Beer. Coke. And there at the back, two lonely cans of Sprite. Feeling as if she’d just downed a wild boar with a sharp wooden stick, she rose with a cry of triumph.

  “Got it,” she called. “Just needs ice.”

  “I don’t mind it warm,” Liz said from right behind her.

  Reilly jumped and spun around. Liz stood three feet away in the doorway, watching her with an indecipherable smile on her face. “We’re talking August in the city, Liz. The can is hot.”

  “You know, you’re very nice.”

  “That’s not what most people say,” Reilly said.

  “No?” Liz moved closer, stopping a few inches from Reilly, who had the cabinets at her back. She took the can from Reilly and set it gently on the counter. “What do they say?”

  “My colleagues say I’m competitive.” Reilly caught Liz’s scent. Hot and sultry like the night breeze blowing in the open window a few feet away. Liz wore a sleeveless white blouse with the top two buttons open, baring a tantalizing triangle of lightly tanned skin. Her forest green cotton shorts came to mid-thigh, and a lot of leg stretched below them. Reilly itched to run her palms up and down that smooth expanse of thigh.

  Liz rested both hands on Reilly’s shoulders, her thumbs tracing the ridges of Reilly’s collarbones. “What do your friends say?”

  “That I’m competitive,” Reilly said, her gaze fixed on Liz’s mouth. Her lips were moist, parted slightly, and swollen, as if they’d already been kissed. “Liz…”

  “Are you thinking about kissing me?”

  Reilly looped her arms around Liz’s waist and the space between them disappeared. “Yes.”

  “Good, because I’m thinking about being kissed.”

  Lightly, Reilly brushed her lips over Liz’s. Once. Twice. “How’s that?”

  “Just like I said. Very nice.” Liz shifted her hips until one thigh settled in the vee of Reilly’s crotch. “What do your girlfriends say about you?”

  “I’ve forgotten.”

  Liz smiled. “Smart, too. Smart and nice.”

  “Nice is okay,” Reilly whispered, sliding her hand up Liz’s back before burying her fingers in Liz’s thick, silky hair, “but do you think I could try for sexy?”

  Liz tilted her head back and murmured appreciatively when Reilly kissed her throat. “You don’t have to try for that.”

  “Self-improvement is a good thing to strive for.” Reilly explored the hollow at the base of Liz’s throat with the tip of her tongue, then kissed the skin exposed by Liz’s open blouse. When she could kiss no lower, she turned her head slightly and rubbed her cheek gently over Liz’s breast.

  Liz drew in a sharp breath and her fingers tightened on Reilly’s shoulders. “I’m very sensitive for some reason these days.”

  Reilly raised her head and kissed Liz’s mouth, sweeping the tip of her tongue slowly over the surface of Liz’s lower lip. “You’re very beautiful.”

  “I can’t imagine why you think that.” Liz drew the thick strands of dark hair at the base of Reilly’s neck through her fingers. “But I’m glad you do.”

  “I could try to tell you,” Reilly murmured, her mouth against the soft skin below Liz’s ear. “But I’d rather show you.”

  “Yes.”

  “Ordinarily I don’t kiss women with girlfriends,” Reilly said. “But I’m still going to kiss you. I’ll worry about the rest later.”

  Liz tugged on Reilly’s hair until Reilly leaned back again and looked at her questioningly. “I was on my way to your house this afternoon when you drove by.”

  Reilly raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you tell me you weren’t going anywhere?”

  Liz smiled. “I wasn’t, until I saw you.”

  “Then I’m glad I came by.”

  “Me too.” When Reilly dipped her head to kiss her again, Liz stopped her. “Julia told me you came by the apartment this morning.”

  Reilly’s eyes swiftly darkened to almost black. “It was a spur of the moment thing. I should have called first.”

  Liz kissed Reilly, then threaded her arms around Reilly’s waist. She didn’t want Reilly to pull away. “I’d like very much for you to come by whenever you get the urge.”

  Reilly grew very still and remained silent.

  “I’m sorry I missed you,” Liz continued. “I wasn’t there. I spent the night at Bren’s.”

  “Then why did she buzz me up?” Reilly asked, confu
sed.

  “She said she was curious. She probably was.” Liz cradled Reilly’s cheek. “I didn’t know she was coming and she isn’t there anymore. I told her to go.”

  “Is that temporary or still undecided?”

  “It’s permanent. Very permanent.”

  “Does she know about—”

  “Yes.” Liz leaned into Reilly, her breasts swollen, her nipples so sensitive they ached to be stroked. “I don’t have a girlfriend, and I really, really need you to kiss me.”

  “Am I going to be able to kiss you more than once?”

  “As long as you want to,” Liz breathed against Reilly’s mouth.

  Reilly kissed her a little deeper this time, teasing her tongue over Liz’s. When the heat flared in her belly and she was in danger of going too fast, she eased back. “We should get comfortable, because I don’t want to stop any time soon.”

  Liz hesitated for just a few seconds. She had never been one to fall into bed quickly or easily, and despite the fact that her body was screaming for more—for everything—there were still so many things unspoken between them. Still, she craved Reilly’s mouth and ached for Reilly’s hands on her. “Good idea.”

  “Wait right here,” Reilly said, before easing away.

  Liz watched, curious, as Reilly flung open cabinet doors and finally pulled down an empty green bottle with a fat belly and a long thin neck. The bottom half was covered with a straw weave. She laughed when Reilly pulled a stumpy white candle from another drawer and jammed it into the mouth of the bottle.

  “Is that a Chianti bottle?” When Reilly nodded, Liz laughed again. “I haven’t seen one of those used as a candleholder since college.”

  “That’s me,” Reilly said. “I really know how to impress a date.”

  “You’re doing fine so far.”

  Reilly regarded her intently, then held out her hand. “Let’s see if I can keep it up.”

  With her hand in Reilly’s, Liz followed her through the living room, down a narrow hall with a bathroom off to one side, and into a bedroom. Like the rest of the apartment, it was sparsely furnished, neat, and clean. The bed was made and a digital alarm clock sat beside a haphazard pile of books on the bedside table. More books rested on the floor within easy reach of the bed. An area rug covering the hardwood floor in front of a plain dresser completed the furnishings.

  The bed brought Liz up short. She wanted to make love, and she wished it were that simple. She wasn’t sure it ever had been for her, but she knew it wasn’t now. Not when she didn’t know if she would want to walk away in the morning or if Reilly would want her to, or if she wanted something else. She wasn’t even certain she should want anything else right now. She had more than enough to deal with.

  “Reilly,” Liz said reluctantly.

  “Just one minute.”

  Reilly tugged Liz further into the room, past the bed, and over to a wide window. Reilly handed Liz the Chianti bottle and a book of matches Liz had seen her take out of the drawer along with the candle. “Here, hold these.”

  Curious, Liz took the items as Reilly wrestled with the window. It obviously hadn’t been opened in a while. When Reilly had it opened wide, she swung one leg over the window sill and held out her hands for the candle.

  “I thought we could watch the sunset.”

  When Reilly pulled her other leg through, Liz bent down and saw a fire escape outside the window. Part of her was disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to stretch out next to Reilly on the bed, because she wasn’t ready to stop kissing. But she could hardly complain, since she had been about to put the brakes on just seconds before. She slid her leg over the sill, dipped her head, and stepped out onto the fire escape. Reilly balanced the Chianti bottle on top of an overturned orange plastic milk crate and put the matches beside it.

  “Have a seat,” Reilly said with a sweep of her arm.

  Liz regarded the object that took up most of the fire escape. “That looks like the back seat of a car.”

  “It is. A ’56 Buick, to be exact.” Reilly settled down on one end of the wide, tan leather seat. “I always wanted to make out in the backseat of a ’56 Buick.”

  Delighted, Liz curled up beside her and when Reilly put her arm around her shoulders, Liz wrapped hers around Reilly’s middle and rested her head on Reilly’s shoulder. The fire escape faced west toward the river and the huge city park. The sun was just beginning to set. A faint breeze stirred the sultry night air.

  “Comfortable?” Reilly murmured.

  “Very.”

  Reilly kissed the top of her head and ran her hand up and down Liz’s bare arm. “Let me know if you get cold.”

  “It’s August.” Liz kissed the side of Reilly’s throat.

  “I know, but...I don’t want you to get chilled.”

  Liz was touched by Reilly’s protectiveness, although she wondered if part of Reilly’s concern wasn’t coming from some need of Reilly’s to do for her what Reilly hadn’t been able to do for Annie. The thought bothered her, even as she told herself it didn’t matter.

  “I can think of a few ways to keep warm,” Liz said.

  Reilly cradled Liz’s chin and tilted her face up. “Me too.”

  The kiss was languorous, a slow exploration of slick surfaces and hot, smooth muscles. Liz shifted into Reilly’s lap and put her arms around her neck in the position they’d been in the night before. She had wanted to kiss Reilly like this then. She kept her eyes open, although it was difficult, and thrilled to see Reilly’s pupils widen and her eyes grow hazier with each passing minute. Reilly caressed her sides and her hip and the length of her thigh and before long, Liz was breathing hard and rotating her hips between Reilly’s spread thighs. She caught Reilly’s hand and pressed it to her breast.

  Reilly groaned and slid her hand inside Liz’s blouse. When she swept her fingertips inside the very top of Liz’s bra, Liz moaned. Instantly, Reilly stilled.

  “Don’t stop,” Liz whispered, sucking lightly on Reilly’s neck. “You said you wanted to make out.”

  “I can’t remember,” Reilly gasped. “Is this first base or second?”

  “Oh God, I don’t know.” Liz laughed, so turned on she could barely stand it and never wanting the feeling to end.

  Reilly pushed her hand lower inside Liz’s bra and cupped the undersurface of her breast. Then she squeezed gently.

  Liz writhed in Reilly’s lap, the ache in her breasts spreading lower. She needed more. She needed Reilly closer, and she kissed her harder, pulling Reilly’s tongue into her mouth. She sucked on it and Reilly’s hips jerked under her ass. Reilly’s thumb and forefinger closed on her nipple and rolled lightly. Liz whimpered and tugged Reilly’s polo shirt from her jeans. She worked her hand underneath and found Reilly’s small, firm breasts. When she mimicked Reilly’s motions, Reilly shuddered.

  “Lie down on top of me,” Reilly urged, turning sideways on the seat with her back propped against the iron railing.

  “Unbutton my blouse.” Liz shifted until she had one leg between Reilly’s. She pressed her center against Reilly’s tight thigh, knowing she was wet, not caring if she soaked through her shorts. She reached behind her and released her bra. When Reilly got her last button open, her breasts spilled out. Immediately, Reilly covered both of them with her hands. Liz pushed Reilly’s shirt up and feathered her fingers over the tight pink nipples. Reilly arched into her hands.

  “Oh look at you,” Liz whispered. “So beautiful.” She raised her gaze to Reilly’s face and found Reilly staring at her, her eyes fathomless. “What?”

  “Ground rules.” Reilly hooked her calf behind Liz’s and tightened her thighs, pressing hard against Liz’s leg. “While I can still think.”

  Liz looked down at Reilly’s hands inside her blouse and hers on Reilly’s breasts. “We might be too late.”

  “Almost.”

  “Tell me.” Liz looked around at the nearby buildings. The sun had gone down without her noticing it, and lights had come on in some
of the apartments. They were shrouded in near darkness now. She shrugged out of her blouse and dropped it along with her bra on the grillwork landing. Then she stretched out on top of Reilly, curling one arm behind Reilly’s neck. She caressed Reilly’s breasts. “What rules?”

  “No touching below the waist,” Reilly whispered, running both hands up and down Liz’s back.

  “The way I feel,” Liz murmured, nibbling along the edge of Reilly’s jaw, “that might not matter.”

  “You want to stop?”

  “Oh no.” Liz kissed her again, slowly and deeply, until Reilly trembled beneath her. “I want to make out until curfew.”

  “Is someone waiting up for you?”

  Liz nipped at Reilly’s chin. “Not a soul.”

  “Good. I’m not wearing a watch.”

  *

  Bren checked the time on the wall clock opposite her desk. Nine p.m. She wondered if Jae was already at the Blue Diamond. She wondered if she performed every night. She wondered if she had another job. If she had a lover. If she had many lovers.

  She booted up her computer, opened Melanie’s email program, and scanned the messages.

  I’m sorry.

  She clicked open the message.

  I should have waited to come again, but I couldn’t stop. Will you forgive me?

  Bren scrolled down the list. A few hours later, another message. I’m sorry. Will you let me apologize in person?

  The next read, Please don’t go. Let me show you I’m sorry.

  As she read, another message arrived. I can still feel the heat of your body against the insides of my thighs, on my nipples. When I touch myself, I feel your breath on my neck. I taste you. I won’t come again until you tell me to. Please.

  Jae’s excitement was palpable. Bren’s body clamored for attention, and she knew that Jae must need to come just as badly. She thought about how hard it would be for Jae not to climax on stage tonight, and the idea of her struggling not to give in made Bren even more excited. She needed to come right now, but she would deny herself as long as she denied Jae.