Each Man Kills

by Victoria Glad

prevent our marriage. And she had gottenunder my skin. It was as elemental as that. She said she thought weshould wait until I fully recovered._

  _"Don't say any more, darling," she said. "Rest your poor, sorethroat."_

  _She bent over me solicitously and I reached up to stroke that smoothblack hair. It had a familiar feel to it that I couldn't quite place. Ofcourse I had stroked it hundreds of times before, but it wasn't that.Then she looked straight at me, those large, glowing hazel eyes boringinto mine, and I knew. Knew and disbelieved at the same time. I frozewhere I lay, paralyzed by my fear; unable to make a sound._

  _"So you know," she whispered. "It is well. I have marked you for my ownthese many months. Now that you know, you will not fight. You know whatI am, or at least you can guess. This pin you admired so--it was minethree hundred years ago and it will always be mine!"_

  _Her lips were on mine. She had never kissed me like this. It was likethe touch of hot ice, freezing, then searing. Unendurable. I lay inert;I couldn't have moved if I wanted to. I could scarcely breathe. Then Ifelt the blood within me pounding, pulsing, beginning to answer in spiteof myself. I tasted once more the warm, salty fluid on my lips. Eve'sbody was liquid in my arms; warm, heady, narcotizing. Once again I feltthe agonizing, dagger sharp pain in my throat and--darkness._

  _Have you ever wakened to a bright, sunny afternoon and heard yourselfpronounced dead? They spoke in low, hushed tones. How unfortunate. Youngfellow only thirty, dying so far away from his homeland. No family. Goodthing he was well-set in life. This sudden anemia was mostextraordinary; fellow showed no signs of it previously. All he hadreally needed was rest. If he had recovered, that lovely Eve Orcaczymight have made both their lives happier, richer. Sad ending to whatmight have been an idyll. Good of her to claim the body. She said shewas going to inter it in the family vault in_ Konigstein Mountain _inTransylvania._

  _I heard them distinctly. I wanted to shout that I wasn't dead; I wantedto wake up from this horrible nightmare. I was as alive as they. I knewI had to get out of there, some way; to get away from Eve, whom I nowfeared. They left to make arrangements._

  _The lassitude crept through me without warning; I dozed in spite ofmyself. And I dreamed again. I was a cat running, leaping throughwindows, loping over the countryside, stopping for no one. I panted withmy exertions. Towns and cities flew by; I had to get someplace andquickly. Then the dream ended._

  _"Tod," she said, "Get up, my dear." I heard Her and I hated Her. HatedHer while I was drawn to Her. There was a white mist before my eyes. Ireached up to brush it away. It was not a mist; it was a cloth. Ishivered._

  _"I must wake up," I whispered hoarsely, "I must! I'm going mad!"_

  _There was a creaking sound and daylight descended upon me. When I sawwhere I was, I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. I tried topray, but the words froze on my lips._ I was sitting in a coffin in amausoleum! I had been buried alive!

  _"What am I?" I shrieked. "Where am I and what have You done? I'm out ofmy mind; stark, staring mad!"_

  _Eve's lips parted, showing the even white teeth--those slightly pointedteeth._

  _"You're quite sane, my dear," She said calmly. "You are now one of us;a revenant, even as I, and to live you must feed on the living."_

  _"It's not true!" I shouted. "This is all a crazy nightmare, part of myillness! You're not real! Nothing is real!"_

  _"I'm quite real, Tod. To be trite, I am what I am, and have accepted itcalmly, as you shall in time. I have told you of my life. You have beena student of legends. Legends are often--more often than youthink--reality. When one has been murdered, if one has lived a so-calledwicked life, he is doomed to walk the earth battening on the living. Myfate was sealed as I lay in my coffin. But that wasn't enough. As I laythere, my pet cat, Suma, slunk into the room and leapt over me. That wasa double insurance of my life after death. Those whom I mark for my ownmust, too, live on. Accept it, my dear. You have no other choice."_

  _"No!" I cried. "I'm an American! Things like this don't happen to us!It's only in stories, and then to foreigners!"_

  _She chuckled drily. "I'm afraid these things do happen, and in thiscase, you're it, my dear. Make the best of it."_

  _But I wouldn't; I refused to--for a while. I would not feast on theblood of the living. Something within me fought. For a time._

  _Then, the awful hunger began. The tearing pangs of hunger that ordinaryfood wouldn't arrest. I fought it as long as I could. I lost._

  _First it was small animals; animals that I loved. It was my life ortheirs. Then there was a little girl; a dear little creature who mighthave been my child under different circumstances._

  _After the episode of the little girl, Eve left me. She had no furtheruse for me; she had wanted the child, too, and I had got it. I was nowcompetition to be shunned. I was alone once again alone and thoroughlymiserable. I couldn't understand myself, my motives, so how could Iexpect someone else to understand?_

  _I only knew what I was; nor could I rationalize on why I had becomethis way. I could only presume it had happened to others equally asinnocent as myself of wrong-doing. In the daytime, when I was likeothers, I reproached myself; goodness knows I loathed myself and what Ihad to do in order to "live." I wished I might really die, for I wastired--so frightfully tired and sick of it all. But I knew of no way toaccomplish this, so I had to bear it all, fasting until my voracious,disgusting appetites got the better of me._

  _I decided there must be some information on my kind, particularly inthis area where vampire legends are rife, so I took to haunting readingrooms. It was there I met Maria. She told me, after we knew each otherbetter, that she was doing graduate work in regional superstitions andhad decided that her thesis would treat of the history of vampirism. Shefound it terribly amusing, but at the same time frightening: Didn't I? Ifear I saw nothing laughable about it, but I held my peace. Why, I couldhave done a thesis for her that would have driven some mild-manneredprof completely out of his mind! I kept my knowledge to myself, though;I didn't want to scare Maria._

  _She was like a flash of sunshine in a darkened room. She made each dayworth living. For the first time the hunger pangs ceased. Ceased for oneweek, then two. I was certain I was cured. Perhaps, I thought, the wholething was just a dream and I am finally awake._

  _I felt then I had the right to tell her of my love. She lookedinfinitely sad. She wasn't certain, she said. She knew she was awfullyfond of me, but she was confused. She had just come away from theStates, trying to make up her mind about someone dear, whom she didn'twant to hurt, and she wanted a breather. I said I would wait up to andthrough eternity, if she wished._

  _Things, went along peacefully then. We would walk for hours together,walk in complete silence and understanding. My strength seemed to bereturning more day by day. We went far afield in search of material forher thesis. She would track down the most minute speck of hearsay, toget authenticity._

  _One day, in our wanderings, I thoughtlessly let myself be led too nearmy resting place. One of the locals mentioned a "place of horror" nearbyand Maria wanted to investigate. I had no choice. We poked amid thestill fustiness of the deserted mausoleum I knew so well. She thought itodd that the door was unlocked. I said, yes, wasn't it. Then she saw thebox, that gleaming copper box which Eve had so thoughtfully provided.She stroked it gently, commenting on its beauty, and before I couldprevent it or divert her attention, she had lifted the heavy lidexposing the disarranged shroud, the remains of one or two hapless smallcreatures, the horrible blood-stained satin lining. She screamed anddropped the lid, somehow pinching her finger. She hopped on one foot, asone usually does to fight down sudden pain. Then she was clinging to me,thoroughly frightened._

  _"What does it mean, Tod?"_

  _I quieted her with the usual platitudes. Then I was kissing that poor,red little finger. Without warning to myself or her, I nipped itaffectionately. A warm glow spread through me; there was a taste moredelightful than fine old brandy, or vintage wine, and I knew irrevocablythat I w
as not cured; no, nor ever should be! And I knew, too, that Iwanted Maria--not just as a man longs for the woman he loves--but todrink of the fountain of her life, that warm, intoxicating fountain,greedily, joyously. She never knew what went through my mind at thatmoment. If I could have killed myself then, I would have, and with nocompunction. But there is more to killing a revenant than that. TheChurch knows the procedure. I hurried Maria home as fast as I could andtold her I had to go away for a week on business. She believed me andsaid she would miss me. But I didn't go away. That night I fought alosing battle with myself, and then and every night thereafter, Ireturned to her, partook of her and slunk away, loathing myself. I knewthat I must soon kill the one being I loved above all others, kill, too,her