A Memory Away

by Melinda Curtis

  Jess didn’t want to answer, much less move, but the chair had other ideas. She began to rock in a gentle motion.

  His gaze captured hers. “You’re thinking these people look at you and see a poor pregnant woman, one who needs help.”

  He wasn’t right. She’d gone past that. But he was touchably close and so dear about her feelings that she had to let him run with the idea. “Isn’t that what you saw the first time we met?”

  His grin held that trace of mischief her heart was so very fond of. Was he on to her? “I saw a swindler, not a destitute pregnant woman.”

  “I’m not destitute.” But she was far from middle-class.

  “I know that. They know that. But you don’t seem to know that.” He held on to the rocker handles, stopping the chair, staring her in the eyes. “This is a town full of grandmothers and grandfathers—or in Eunice’s case, a should-have-been-grandmother. Their grandkids aren’t around to spoil. They want to spoil you. And if, occasionally, the gift seems a bit extravagant, instead of immediately getting your back up, be gracious and accept.”

  It was a beautiful speech. It meant a lot to her.

  “It’s just... They don’t know me,” Jess said in a small voice.

  “They know you well enough. I know you well enough.” His hands moved to her knees. Warm, steady. “And you knew them well enough to move in after only being here two days.”

  He was right. He was right. The rightness of it punched the lights out of the belief that had kept her sane over the years. It wasn’t enough to bite her lip and accept kindness. Accepting kindness did not define who she was.

  Duffy grinned. “That’s my girl.”

  Maybe she was. Maybe she always would be. If he smiled at her like that every once in a while, she’d live with a broken heart.

  Linda entered the kitchen. She wore a flowery dress today. Her too-dark hair color had faded.

  Duffy took one look at her face and said, “Don’t do it, Mom.”

  “I have a gift for the baby.” She handed Jess a card.

  Jess was overwhelmed with images of spinning wheels and spindle pricks. She opened the card and discovered a check for one thousand dollars. Whatever she’d just learned in the past few minutes did not apply to Linda’s check. “I can’t accept.”

  “If you don’t take it, I’ll just open up a college fund for the child.” Her voice became spindle thin, ready to break when in their past dealings it had been honed to a strong, sharp edge. “Please take it. It would make me feel like I did something nice for Greg after all these years.”

  “A gift of love,” Jess murmured.

  Linda’s features softened into a smile, a genuine smile, a smile of a kindhearted grandmother who knew how to forgive.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  HIS MOTHER MAKING nice with Jess was a good sign, right?

  Duffy slung an arm around each woman and brought them back to the party.

  The elderly women of Harmony Valley were drawn to Jess like bees to the queen. They preened and pressed small gifts into her hands, edging Duffy back. Laughter and advice filled the air. Duffy ended up against the back wall, crossing his arms and watching over the mayhem.

  Eunice appeared at his side, placing a hand on his forearm. “Is she okay?”

  Two spots of color dotted Jessica’s cheeks. Her gaze sought his. Hers slightly panicked. His reassuring.

  “She’ll be fine.” He raised his voice to be heard above the ruckus. “Ladies, we’re all friends here. Why don’t we sit down and let Jess breathe?”

  “Perfect,” Eunice murmured, rushing off to direct a circle of chairs be made around the mom-to-be.

  Shelby was sitting in the corner next to Christine. Her hand rested on her baby bump. “Remind me to have you run my baby shower.”

  “I have a wedding that needs planning, too,” Christine added with a sly smile.

  “Not a chance,” Duffy told his coworkers. “This is a onetime deal.” For the woman he loved.

  Eunice called him over to help. He asked Mildred to move over and make room for his mother in the circle. He doled out slices of pizza. He handed out glasses of punch. He sent Jess bolstering smiles. He cut the cake and distributed pieces. He was being an all-around supportive guy while the women played baby shower games and shared birthing stories that made him cringe.

  He loved Jess. Everything was going to be all right.

  Outside the bakery, Flynn and Slade sat with Duffy’s dad and Goldie. Duffy joined them. It was quiet and peaceful. Duffy hadn’t recognized the tension in his body until he sat down and the stiffness in his shoulders drained away.

  “We were wondering how long you’d last in there.” Goldie sat in Dad’s lap and the breeze tousled his graying hair. Although Dad always put on a happy face, for once, the lines around his smile seemed less forced.

  “You’re a brave man.” Slade set his cell phone on the table next to a bottle of beer. “Able to wield power tools and a cake knife.”

  “Same skill set,” Flynn ribbed, handing Duffy a beer from the cooler at his feet. “Did you teach him that, Thomas?”

  “Nope. Michael’s always been self-sufficient.” His father’s gaze was filled with pride. “If the mower needed fixing, he took it apart to diagnose the problem. If the car wouldn’t start, he was the first one under the hood.” He patted Goldie’s head. “He was the son that wanted to be left alone while he figured things out.”

  Duffy opened his beer and took a sip. Inside, the women laughed. Soon there’d be the voice of a baby added to things in Harmony Valley.

  “Of course,” Dad said, “some things took longer for Michael to figure out than others.”

  Slade gave Duffy a sideways glance and a smile. “Such as...?”

  Dad was more than happy to fill in the blanks. “How Santa made his rounds on Christmas in twenty-four hours.”

  “Rocket-powered sleigh?” Flynn grinned.

  “Time warp?” Slade asked.

  Duffy played along. “Fairy dust. Slows the space-time continuum.”

  “And girls.” Dad chuckled. “It took him a long time to figure out girls.”

  Duffy glanced through the window. “I’m still working on that one.”

  “We’re all working on that, my friend.” Slade reached over and tapped his beer bottle against Duffy’s.

  “But his biggest challenge...” Dad’s voice gentled. “Was to understand why his brother made so many wrong choices.”

  The table fell silent. Duffy shouldn’t have been surprised that Flynn and Slade knew about his brother. This was, after all, Harmony Valley.

  “Do you have an answer to that last one?” Duffy asked, not caring that he had an audience. “I’d like to know.”

  “Because I let him down.” Whatever had buoyed Dad’s spirits up to that point deflated, and along with it, deflated him. Dad slouched and hung his head. “I was providing you boys a good life. When I was injured, that life disappeared. He was angry and I was foolish.” Dad mustered a small smile. “I let an eighteen-year-old handle my finances. He wasn’t mature enough to resist temptation.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Duffy’s voice was almost a whisper. “Greg chose money over family.”

  “It doesn’t matter what he took,” Dad said, reaching for Duffy’s hand. “He gave us back so much more.”

  They both looked inside. To Jess and what would soon be a baby.

  * * *

  “WANT TO COME over for dinner tonight?” Duffy asked as he put the last of the chairs back where they belonged.

  Jess was still in a state of awe from the friendship and caring those in town had shown her.

  Thomas and Linda had long gone home. The ladies had left, even Eunice. They’d taken home leftover pizza and cake. Eunice’s chocolate a
vocado cake had been a big hit, possibly because she didn’t tell anyone what she’d put in it until after they’d all taken bites. Flynn, Slade and Duffy had carried the crib and rocking chair upstairs, along with the baby clothes, quilts and blankets she’d been given.

  All that was left was to wipe down the tables, which Jess was doing. “I may head upstairs for a nap. And I may sleep through until tomorrow morning.”

  “And deprive Baby of dinner?” Duffy leaned on a chair back. The heat was in his eyes, as if he’d forgiven her for invoking Greg’s name after their kiss a week ago. “Come over to my place and nap on the couch while I make dinner. We can practice for Lamaze class.” This last was said with intimate smoothness.

  The friend boundary gave off a sharp intruder alert that had Jess standing upright and giving Duffy her full attention. “Friend. Baby is going to be delivered with Eunice by my side.”

  “Didn’t we solve this a few hours ago?” The combination of his frown and the authority in his tone rubbed Jessica all wrong. “I’m back on the team.”

  “No. You made a suggestion, which I turned down.” It was getting harder to keep her voice neutral. “Why the change of heart? Being a Lamaze partner is a responsibility. You don’t do responsibility.”

  He glanced over his shoulder at Goldie, tethered to a table outside. “I felt Baby move. It moved something in me.” He closed the distance between them, taking her hands and holding her gaze with a look that she’d never seen in his eyes before. It was kind and warm and...loving?

  “I don’t understand.” Not his change of heart. Not that look in his eyes.

  “I realized today that I want you in my life. Both of you. Forever.” His smile would have filled her with joy if he’d said those words days ago when she confessed her feelings to him, if he’d said he loved her.

  She’d hoped to hear those words, but they didn’t spark joy. They weighed heavily on her heart, because she couldn’t believe him. “Careful, now. Don’t get carried away.”

  “We can do this, Jess. We can make a home for Baby and Goldie.” His smile had a forced quality, as if it was his job to convince her. “We can share diaper duties and babysitting. We can share cooking and cleaning chores. Two paychecks can stretch much further than one. I’ll have your back and you’ll have mine.”

  The pieces that had once been her broken heart seemed to crack and fall to the floor. “You sound like you’re looking for a roommate.” She yanked her hands away. “You feel responsible for my child now that you’ve felt Baby move. I don’t want to be chained to you. You’d only resent me and my child.”

  “You’re...you’re turning me down?” Some of the aloofness she’d seen the day they’d met returned to his face.

  “Yes. You’ve presented a very compelling business deal. Unfortunately, I already have a business.” She gave him a gentle shove out the door. “When I said I had feelings for you, I meant love, Duff. Love, not a fondness that might keep us together for a few months or a few years. I meant love. The kind of deep feeling that binds two people together for a lifetime.” She shut the door and locked it.

  He rattled the knob. “I love you. I do.”

  There were the words she’d longed to hear. His words slowed her steps, slowed what was left of her heart. Jess turned. “You can’t love anyone if you can’t sacrifice for them,” she said sadly, giving him one final chance to prove he loved her. “What have you gone out of your way to do for anyone lately?”

  His palms were pressed against the glass. He didn’t have an answer.

  Jess had hers.

  * * *

  JESSICA’S DAYS WERE FILLED, even if her heart was empty.

  The health inspector came by and gave her a passing grade. Martin’s Bakery was officially in business. Orders came in for birthday cakes, specialty breads and cookies. El Rosal placed a weekly order for dessert trays. Mornings at the bakery bustled with activity. Her case was always empty by noon.

  Jessica’s worries about the profitability of the bakery were put to rest.

  Duffy didn’t come by for a week. And then one day Jess unlocked the front door and discovered a flyer taped on the bakery’s window. It was a picture of Goldie and Duffy. The caption read A Man and His Dog. At the bottom was the instruction “Please return this flyer to Martin’s Bakery.”

  Jess took it down.

  She shouldn’t have bothered. The talk in the bakery that morning was all about Duffy.

  “He posted these all over town.” Agnes added hers to the growing stack on the counter.

  “He’s lost his mind since Jess dumped him.” Eunice gestured toward Jess with her coffee mug.

  “You can’t dump someone if you weren’t a thing in the first place,” Jess said, sounding as grumpy as the Duffy of old.

  A few days later, the town was blanketed by another flyer.

  “I thought Duffy was a confident man.” Rose unfolded her copy of the flyer and placed it on the growing stack on Jessica’s counter. “But this tells me he’s definitely got something to prove.”

  The flyer featured the headline Committed to Helping Our Community. There was a picture of Duffy replacing the siding on Bessie Harrington’s mobile home. And the instruction to return the flyer to the bakery.

  “Is he running for office?” Mildred asked.

  “He’s lobbying for Jessica’s heart,” Eunice said.

  Jess pressed her lips closed.

  The third flyer went too far.

  “‘I’m lobbying for Jessica’s heart,’” Rutgar read the caption. “He’s serious. I took this picture.” Of Duffy, down on one knee, next to the bench in the town square, holding a ring box toward the camera.

  In addition to the usual instruction Duffy had printed on the bottom, he’d added, “If you think that’s a good idea, let Jessica Aguirre know.”

  “You helped him, Rutgar?” Jess felt betrayed. And embarrassed. Her customers got some good laughs out of it. And then there was her heart, which had somehow managed to reassemble a piece or two and root for Duffy. “I thought you were on my side.”

  “I admit the boy has a habit of rubbing me the wrong way.” And then Rutgar leaned over the counter and whispered, “But he’s changed.”

  “He told you to say that.” Jess slapped a few coins into his humongous palm.

  Rutgar straightened and drew himself to his full, massive height. “Nobody tells me to do anything.”

  Jess pressed her lips together as Eunice edged beneath Rutgar’s arm. “I told him not to do this. It goes too far, asking you to marry him on a flyer.”

  “You knew?”

  “I helped him pick out the ring.” Eunice hunched her shoulders as if in shame, but her smile belied that notion. She was enjoying Duffy’s campaign.

  Jess couldn’t believe he’d won over the town and bought a ring and hadn’t come by in days!

  “Same time tonight for Lamaze class?” Eunice asked.

  Jess nodded tightly. For the first time since moving to Harmony Valley, she longed for the anonymity of working in a large town.

  But she couldn’t help but wonder what Duffy had in mind next.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  THE CALL CAME in the middle of the night at a time when sleep was its deepest.

  Duffy fumbled with his cell phone and managed a bleary answer. “Yeah.”

  “Duffy?” It was Eunice. She spoke in a small, scared voice, a whisper really. “It’s time.”

  “For Baby?” He swung his feet out of bed and ran a hand across his face. “I’ll pick you up in five minutes.”

  “No, Duffy.” Eunice continued to whisper. “We’re already here. At the hospital.”

  “What?” Duffy flipped the light on and searched for a clean pair of jeans. “The plan was you’d call me when she called you.”
>
  “I know,” Eunice said miserably. “But she went into labor during Lamaze and we went directly to the hospital next to the classroom.” Her voice become muffled and hard to make out, as if she’d put her hand over the phone. “I thought they were sending us home, but the doctor came by and...”

  There was a wail in the background.

  “Get here, Duffy. Get here.” Eunice hung up.

  Duffy dressed, took Goldie out and was on the road to Santa Rosa in record time. He parked and ran into the hospital. All he could think about was Jess panicking in labor, forgetting to breathe, and Eunice passed out next to the bed. Jess needed him! Eunice needed him! Baby needed him!

  Once inside the hospital, everyone was helpful in directing him to Labor & Delivery. And then he ran into a snag.

  “Your relationship to Ms. Aguirre?” the Labor & Delivery nurse asked.

  “I’m her fiancé,” he lied, trying to catch his breath.

  The nurse glanced at a sheet of paper. “Ms. Aguirre doesn’t have you listed on those permitted inside the delivery room. Not your name, not even the word fiancé.”

  “Okay, okay. We had a falling-out.” Duffy lowered his voice. “But I love her. I love her. And she’s in there right now with our good friend, who is squeamish and may pass out during touchdown time.” He tried to look harmless and helpless and sincere. “Please. Just ask her if I can come in. She needs me. And I need her.”

  Something about his plea must have worked, because the nurse nodded and headed down the hallway, ducking into a room. There were blank sheets of paper in the printer. Duffy took one, along with a pen, and began writing.

  * * *

  “YOU CALLED HIM?” Jess couldn’t keep the anger from her voice. Her body was a knotted ball of fire. She’d been in labor for hours and was exhausted. If this was how babies came into the world, she was never having another one.

  The nurse slipped out the door with Jessica’s answer: No. Duffy was not allowed inside.