Claire's Prayer

by Yvonne Cloete

  Chapter Nine

  Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.

  (Psalm 50:2)

  Rays of sunlight filtered through the curtains; fingers of warmth bathed her face. Opening her eyes, Claire resignedly welcomed the new day. Peace and determination filled her heart and quieted her mind. Her best course of action would be to avoid being alone with Seth: she knew she couldn’t avoid him totally, but vowed to prevent herself from being alone with him again – or in close proximity to him at all. Claire had weighed up her options, seeking her memories desperately for context; she’d even thought of Joseph in the Bible, and the temptations of Potiphar’s wife. Yes, fleeing sounded good right now… but it wasn’t possible. So avoid him she would. Squaring her narrow shoulders she left the lodge early, and readily accepted the present-day Joseph’s offer of tea as she waited for Seth, Naomi and Tony to appear.

  Naomi was in an excellent mood, and kept the whole table entertained throughout breakfast with amusing bits of information she had managed to glean during the braai. As Naomi narrated and Claire had come to appreciate, the ranchers were a solid bunch of people, who helped and supported each other in a crisis. But not Claire’s current variety of crisis. Throughout the meal she noticed Seth watching her, a puzzled look on his face. Forcing herself to ignore him, she paid avid attention to Naomi’s stories. She couldn’t bring herself to think any further ahead than breakfast. She was trusting blindly that, somehow, she would be helped to fulfill her resolution.

  Stopping mid-anecdote, Naomi addressed Seth.

  “Hey, big brother. I’ve been thinking: Claire’s been with us for a while now, and things are quite slow around here. What do you think about us girls going off for a few days? I’d love to show her the Falls.”

  Claire could hardly believe her ears. “Naomi, that’s… that would be fantastic. Thank you – thanks so much!”

  Naomi looked gratified at the enthusiastic response.

  Seth regarded the two women opposite him. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. For reasons he did not fully understand, the idea did not appeal to him at all. He just knew he wanted Claire here, at Impunzi.

  Finding no reasonable objection to hand, though, he grudgingly answered, “I suppose that could be arranged. Can I trust the two of you alone, though?”

  Laughingly responding that she and Claire were both ‘big girls’ now, Naomi missed the seriousness in his question. She flashed an excited look at Claire, and chivvied, “Hurry up, then, Claire! If we leave within the hour, we’ll be there by lunchtime.”

  Springing to her feet, Claire accepted the gift of a reprieve without question.

  “Hang on,” Seth ordered, despising the panic he heard in his voice. “What’s your rush? Why do you have to go today? The Falls aren’t going anywhere, you know.”

  Linking her arm through Claire’s in solidarity, Naomi answered, “I know that, brother dear. Today’s as good a day as any.” Turning to leave the room she called back, cheekily, “Don’t worry – I’ll look after Claire.”

  Hurrying from the room, neither of the women heard Seth muttering angrily under his breath. Storming out of the house only moments after them, he climbed into the Land Rover and sped out of the yard, raising a cloud of dust.

  Arranging to collect Claire in exactly half an hour, Naomi made a hurried phone call and then dashed upstairs to throw some clothes into a bag. She had things on her mind, and really needed time away from the ranch to think them through. She couldn’t think clearly at Impunzi: Tony was too close. There was also definitely something uncomfortable going on between Seth and Claire. A few days apart might be just what they all needed.

  Scanning her lodge while hurling books into her overnight bag, Claire gave up all plans of writing while at the Falls, deciding that next week she would really settle down and do some serious work. Excitement at having her wish answered so speedily, and at going to see the famous Victoria Falls, quickened her heartbeat. She’d read pamphlets about the Falls, and Don and Helen had told her aunt that it was a magnificent sight to see. The nagging sadness that lodged in her chest at the thought of not seeing Seth for a few days only strengthened her resolve: she was unspeakably grateful for the chance to get away from the tension that invariably enveloped them. Maybe, she hoped, this time away was all she’d need to get her emotions under control.

  Through the window, Claire saw Naomi driving up in the BMW. Naomi eagerly pressed the hooter a few times, coming to a screeching halt inches from a tree.

  “Come on, Claire!” she shouted, “Let’s get going!”

  Stuffing an extra sweater into her bag as the locked the lodge, Claire made a show of yanking the car door open, throwing her case onto the back seat and diving inside. Within seconds, she jerked the seatbelt on and clicked it into place. Giggling mightily, the girls drove off. Within minutes the two were talking freely and openly. Eventually, Claire found herself telling Naomi about her life in Ireland and some of the country’s history.

  “Ireland is a beautiful country, Naomi – but, like Zimbabwe, it’s had its own turbulent birth to becoming a nation. There’ve been decades of conflict in the North of Ireland between the Protestant and Catholic communities, and it’s made life everything from difficult to horrific for the people who live there… too many innocent lives have been lost. We can only pray that one day there’ll be a resolution to the violence and Ireland will be a country fully at peace.”

  Naomi looked over at Claire, touched by the similarities between their relationships with their homelands, thousands of miles apart.

  Claire caught her eye, understanding, but spoke on. “For the landscape, though, our countries couldn’t be more different! Zimbabwe is raw, open, scorched and wild… some parts are still completely untouched by human development, and you can really feel that, I think. But Ireland’s an island, and pretty much soaked all the time! You have your ochres and your sunsets, but Ireland’s famous for its fifty shades of green – which is not a myth! All that rain has its benefits, I guess.” She smiled over at her friend.

  Naomi was genuinely interested, and asked about Dublin, Claire’s home city.

  Picturing the city in her mind, Claire tried to describe it to Naomi. “Dublin is a beautiful, constantly surprising old city, with so much character. I’ve always thought no other city in the world could take you back in time to so many different eras. I love Ireland,” Claire sighed, “only now in a different way. In so many ways, I… it won’t feel like home again,” she faltered.

  In a sad, quiet voice Claire told Naomi the circumstances of her parents’ death, and admitted how much she missed them both. Naomi, in turn, told Claire about Zimbabwe, and what it had been like being a senior school girl during the war years. She described Impunzi in a way that Claire could not picture it: sandbags piled on top of each other, higher than window level; taking rifles with you everywhere you went; travelling in convoys between towns. Sadness clouded her eyes as she spoke lovingly of her parents and their deaths.

  “Seth was at uni in Cape Town, in South Africa. I was at school. I can remember the exact words the headteacher used: ‘the ranch was attacked in the early hours of the morning, and Mom and Dad had been ambushed and killed.’

  “Seth flew home in a heartbeat, of course – he was really there for me. Luckily the house wasn’t burnt down – be thankful for small mercies – but the inside was pretty badly damaged, apparently. Seth was so emotionally closed down he just locked all the pain inside. After all the death and loss he’s experienced it’s no wonder really.”

  Claire sat quietly, realising the pain and horror Naomi and Seth had survived – and not missing Naomi’s allusion. There must, she realised, be so much she didn’t know about them both…

  Naomi continued softly. “After a few weeks, Seth returned to Cape Town cause he had to write his final exams. Then he came back before I did, and when the war was over we re-furnished and redecorated the house. The ranch was a kind of farm, but Seth’
s dream was to change Impunzi into a game viewing and fishing resort – but he probably talked about that part!” Naomi smiled wryly at Claire, knowing from long experience what her brother would and would not discuss. “That took a couple of years, and now Impunzi’s running at a profit again. I know Dad and Mom would be proud if they could see what we’ve achieved.”

  Claire answered feelingly, “I’m sure they would be, Naomi. Impunzi is a paradise.”

  Shrugging off her praise, Naomi continued, “What really surprised me was that Dad left Impunzi to Seth and me jointly – I always thought it’d just be him. At the time I thought it was pretty unfair to Seth… but now, I think Dad knew that if something happened to him and Mom, we’d need each other.”

  “You’re really lucky to have each other,” Claire said. Then after a pause, she revealed, “I often wished for a brother or sister. After having me, Mam had four miscarriages, and then the doctors said ‘no more’. In some ways it’s great being an only child… I got spoiled, I know that! But I want at least three children one day…” Claire grinned, as though guilty for looking ahead. “Brothers and sisters look out for each other, and that’s a wonderful thing.”

  Naomi raised her eyebrows and smiled back. “Sometimes they’re great, but at other times they can be a real pain, believe me! Just lately Seth has been… I don’t know. Just different.” Laughing, she added jokingly, “Maybe it’s old age setting in, he’s so grumpy.”

  Joining in her laughter, Claire protested, “If he’s old, Lord save us! He looks…”

  Naomi glanced sideways at Claire, as though she could read the way Claire’s thoughts now tended. Claire caught her eye and stopped, blushing despite herself.

  “It’s all right, Claire,” she said, laughing as her friend was still reddening. “I know… ‘he’s a fantastic-looking man’! So I’ve been told,” she continued archly, “by more than one of my female friends.”

  Momentarily subdued, Claire glanced out of the window to see that they were now driving through the small town of Victoria Falls. “We’re nearly there?” she asked Naomi, turning.

  Naomi nodded. “I’ve booked us in at the Victoria Falls Hotel – it’s one of the older hotels, but has charm, and is only about ten minutes’ walk from the actual Falls. The gardens are lovely, too, and in the evening we can watch the Shangaan and Makishi dancers. They dance to their traditional music, in full costume – you keen?”

  Claire was.

  They parked in front of the hotel and a smiling porter ran to assist them. As they handed over the keys to the valet, Claire felt her excitement mount: she could hear clearly the roar of the mighty waterfall in the distance. The setting of the hotel impressed her; it was sprawling, evoking long-gone standards of luxury, and the gardens were an exotic green eden. Uniform-clad waiters hurried here and there. Claire breathed out, contentedly. The whole feel of the place was relaxed.

  Ordering tea to be brought up to their twin room, the two unpacked their cases. Claire could hardly contain her tourist instinct, now that they were finally there. Practically hanging out of the window, she stared in rapt amazement at the billowing, foaming clouds of spray. Then she gasped in pleasure as she saw a huge rainbow, emerging clearly through the mist.

  Naomi grabbed the waist of her trousers, pulling her back into the room. “Claire, be patient! If you’re not careful you’ll fall out of the window, and then I’ll have some explaining to do. After lunch we’ll take a walk to the Falls, I promise – okay?”

  Claire nodded. “It looks so awesome… I wish I’d brought my paints with me! Do you think I’ll be able to buy some painting supplies here?” Not receiving a response, it was Claire’s turn to pull Naomi back by her belt, as the latter peered critically into the room’s enormous mirror. “Hurry up, Naomi, let’s eat!”

  Laughing at her impatience, Naomi closed the door behind them before answering. “Yes, I’m sure we’ll find some paints somewhere in town. We have three days Claire – calm down.”

  Forcing herself to relax, Claire thoroughly enjoyed the buffet lunch the hotel had to offer on the spacious veranda, with the crashing of the Falls’ waters ever in the background. But Naomi had become quiet and withdrawn during the meal, staring off into the misty distance even more often than Claire. Claire hoped it wasn’t because of anything she’d said, but wanted to give her friend space. Engaging the friendly waiter, she learned that the hotel had been built in 1915. Giving more information than Claire had bargained on, he also pointed out the Victoria Falls bridge to her. The bridge spanned the second gorge of the falls and, she learned, had been completed in 1905; the centre of the bridge marked the boundary between Zimbabwe and Zambia. The Falls, he told her, were actually made up of five separate waterfalls: Devil’s Cataract, the Main Falls, Horseshoe Falls, Rainbow Falls and the Eastern Cataract. Enjoying the waiter’s informative chatter, Claire was also grateful to him for covering Naomi’s pensive mood. Smiling broadly, and pocketing their generous tip, he advised the ladies to hire rain coats before walking through the rainforest.

  At this, Claire’s imagination was excited again. She practically dragged Naomi along the rainforest path. Struggling into her newly-hired yellow raincoat, Claire followed Naomi through the dense greenery and towards the rushing, roaring waters. Hesitantly touching her friend’s arm, she asked softly, “Naomi, what’s wrong? Have I done something to upset you?”

  Turning to her almost guiltily, Naomi quickly assured her. “Oh no, Claire – no. You’ve done nothing wrong; I’m so sorry for being so quiet! I just have so much on my mind.”

  Linking her arm through Naomi’s, relieved that she had not caused the issue, Claire told her softly, “It’s sometimes best to share a problem, if I can help.”

  Sighing deeply, Naomi answered, “It’s Tony. He’s asked me to marry him.”

  Claire was astonished that the news wasn’t calling for celebration. Coming to an abrupt stop, she questioned, “But… Isn’t that what you want, Naomi? At your braai seemed so obvious you were made for each other. Don’t you love him, is that it?”

  Urging her on along the footpath, Naomi replied emotionally, “I do love him – have loved him for years. But… Well, he was married before, you know. His wife and young daughter were killed in a car accident about four years ago. Oh, Claire – I just don’t know. When I think of him being married to someone else, having a child with her, I feel… I don’t know, inadequate – unable to compete. But when he’s with me, holding me… I need him so much. I just wish I felt like he needs me, too. He’s eight years older than me, you know? I guess I was never sure he took me seriously. When we first got together…” Naomi tailed off. “I guess I just feel confused.” She sighed, her words fading away.

  Claire was not sure how to answer, or how to advise her. Stopping under a huge, shady tree she spoke slowly, feeling her way around the situation. “I know it must be hard for you to accept that he loved someone else before you, Naomi, but do you think he can’t love you just as much – if not more? He’s not rushed into this. I think you should tell him what you’ve just told me: be open with him. You love him, and I’m sure he loves you – so start your future together on an honest foundation.”

  Even before listening to her, Naomi’s expression had begun to brighten, as though just speaking her thoughts aloud had lightened them. She took a deep drink from her water bottle.

  “You’re right, Claire,” she half-smiled at last, shaking her head. “It seems so obvious now you’ve said it.” Naomi handed the bottle to Claire. “Besides,” she continued, “I simply will not allow a past tragedy to destroy my life. There’s been quite enough of that, for all of us! As soon as we get back to the hotel I’ll phone him. Now come on, slow coach – let’s go see the Falls!”

  Following her eagerly, Claire was glad she’d been able to help, even if just by being a sympathetic ear. Then they approached the edge of the cliff, and the trees thinned. Claire gasped in awe. The mighty Zambezi river poured, roaring and foaming, into the
gorge below, its frothy streams a curtain of flowing white.

  Naomi’s voice reached her above the roar of the water. “They call it ‘Mosi oa Tunya’,” she called, “which means ‘the smoke that thunders’.” Naomi pointed towards an information plaque dripping with water. “Livingstone first saw it in November 1855 and named it after his queen: so, ‘Victoria Falls’.”

  Staring mesmerized into the foaming, swirling mass, Claire had to summon up her voice. “It’s spectacular, Naomi,” she shouted back. “So absolutely awesome. I have to paint it!”

  Laughingly defusing the emotion-filled moment, Naomi led Claire onwards.

  “Come on; let’s go see the statue of Livingstone and walk through the rainforest – we just cut across it before. You can paint tomorrow, okay? If you can find anywhere dry enough! That spot is called ‘The Boiling Pot’, by the way. For obvious reasons!”

  Entranced, Claire followed. In a clearing near what Naomi said was the ‘Devil’s Cataract’ stood a tall bronze statue of David Livingstone, gazing for all eternity out over the magnificent Falls. Claire stared in wonder at the majestic grandeur of the view, seeing it, she felt, just as Livingstone himself must have done many years before. She read the plaque in front of her. Yes, she agreed with the quote: even angels in flight must have gazed in awe upon the magnificent sight.

  Reluctantly guiding her from the side of the Falls, after some assurance that they would come back, Naomi walked beside Claire into the rainforest. Within minutes, their hair was covered in a fine mist, and Claire was again grateful that they’d taken time to hire raincoats. Raising her face, enjoying the feel of the fine spray, Claire was amazed at the exotic lushness of the forest. Ferns, lianas and orchids flourished in the continually-drenched tropical jungle. Sunlight filtered through the green maze of tree branches, its beams catching the damp air in glowing fingers. For all her friend’s charms, Claire fleetingly wished it was Seth at her side, sharing this beauty and wonder with her.