Star Sailors

by James McNaughton

  ‘So,’ he says, addressing the audience in general, ‘as you all know, and to my eternal regret, I wrote the first coma message. Thirty-one years ago, my brief was to “write something snappy about love that doesn’t hurt growth” to put in Samuel’s unconscious mouth. I saw it as a tremendous opportunity. I wanted a promotion and a house in the Golden Gate. So I told a lie to shore up big business and protect corporate capital.

  ‘Samuel did not say “Love grows best out of prosperity” and never would have. I tricked the world. I ran love and growth through a database—that’s a kind of computer, kids—and spliced two high-frequency phrases together. Joined up two commonly used sentences. That lie made me a Golden Gator. A very rich man, with a very high security pass—’

  A ripple of applause threatens to swell. Everyone knows what Jeremiah’s high-level security clearance led to: the leaking of the Klotch tape and the end of the world-wrecking reign of the money-hearts.

  Jeremiah raises his hands and clenches them. Closes his eyes. Looks down and grimaces. He appears to be in pain.

  Silence.

  Jeremiah looks up. He extends his hands, palms upward. ‘For that lie I am eternally sorry. I tried to make amends by leaking the Klotch tape, and I’ve never stopped working ever since. I hope that one day I will be forgiven by all those I deceived 30 years ago.’

  And that’s point five, Karen thinks, as her colleagues make appreciative noises and applause fills the arena. He’s used the bloody five-point apology again. The rhetorical structure that best enables forgiveness. And I nearly fell for it.

  ‘But tonight,’ Jeremiah continues, ‘what I really want to say is something about love. As I alluded to previously, I got rich by lying about love. Now I want to say something true. Because, at the end of the day, what else do we have but relationships?’

  The audience is listening.

  ‘Alright—I’m the gun guy, in charge of security. This kind of thing isn’t my strength, so I’ll just say this quote and get out of your hair.’

  Jeremiah removes his hat and runs his hand over his bald head.

  Feeling for new growth, she thinks. He’s taking something.

  Jeremiah looks at the dark sky through the circle of burning torches, stretched and snapped by the rising wind. One blows out in a shower of sparks. Another. Another.

  A horse drags the bull’s bloody carcase out of the ring.

  Karen needs to get out. She pushes down the row, past unmoving knees. Excuse me. Excuse me. Hard stares. Muttering. Grudging movement. Oh, lo siento. Lo siento. So many strange faces bar her exit. A hand flung out—Turista!

  Out. The old stone streets of Madrid. Free.

  Into the starred amphitheatre.

  ‘“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. Where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. Love never ceases.”’

  Applause explodes. Karen leans back against the warm earth wall, surprised and touched. The passage was read out at their wedding.

  Acknowledgements

  Thanks to Holly McQuillan, Dr Eric Crampton, Professor James Renwick, Bernard Hickey, Dr Christine Kenney, Mairi McLaren, Chris O’Connell, Colin Mowbray, Nick Ascroft, the New Zealand Society of Authors, Tina Shaw, Paddy Richardson, Eldred Gilbert, Sam McNaughton, Lance Redgwell from Cambridge Road Vineyard, Fergus Barrowman, Holly Hunter, Ashleigh Young, Kirsten McDougall, Craig Gamble and Rodney Smith. The Richard Nixon quote is taken from his Message to the Congress Transmitting the First Annual Report of the Council on Environmental Quality, 10 August 1970.