The Ring of Fire: The Dragon Dream: Book Two

by Robin Janney

  Angela’s breathing was heavy, as if struggling not to cry. “I-I…I’m trying Pat! But how can he see that if all he d-does is hide in his office! He didn’t even want to come with me today to see Dr. Ryan. It’s my f-follow-up for the miscarriage! I feel like he’s b-blaming me for losing the baby.”

  Now there was something she could work with. “Why would you expect him to grieve for a pregnancy he never knew about until after it was over? You withheld that information from him. I’d resent you too.”

  Angela wiped at her cheeks. “I-I didn’t want him coming home because he ‘h-had’ to. Why is that so wrong?”

  “How would you feel if it were reversed?” Pat asked, with another shake of her head.

  More heavy breathing as the question was given thought. “Angry.”

  “So, there you go.” Pat made a note about the emails she would be sending after the session was over. Already her mind was going over the rewards her dream lover had promised. She had no idea why he showed concern for this particular patient, but she no longer cared. “Isn’t it your fault your baby died?”

  Angela covered her face and could no longer hold her tears back.

  Rising from her seat, Pat grabbed a box of tissues and placed them on the couch next to the sobbing patient. She touched a shoulder, but it was jerked away.

  “D-don’t touch me!”

  “I’m sorry, Angela. I won’t do it again.” Pat returned to her seat. “We have about five minutes left. Do you think you’re going to be able to talk anymore?”

  “N-no.”

  “Very well. When you’ve calmed yourself, you may go. I would like to raise your medicine to the next level, if you’re agreeable. It’s been almost a month. If you’re taking it like you claim, we should be making more progress.”

  Angela rose to her feet angrily and stomped her way to the door. She couldn’t be leaving, because her purse remained on the couch. Jerking the door open, she spoke to someone outside. “Can you come in for a minute?”

  Pat didn’t hear a reply, but the answer was obvious when a slim dark-haired woman entered the office. Angela slammed the door shut and the new woman followed in Angela’s angry wake as she returned to the couch to gather her purse, and a handful of fresh tissues.

  “Pat, this is Nan. Our housekeeper, who keeps track of m-me when my husband is unable or unwilling to. Nan, would you p-please t-tell this doctor whether or not I take my medicine like I-I’m supposed to?”

  Nan looked surprised, and a tad uncomfortable. “She does.”

  “Do you see her take it?” Pat asked.

  The housekeeper hesitated. “Not every day. She usually takes it when she gets up, which is often before I’m in the house for the day. It’s gone when I check at nine.”

  Affecting a sigh, Pat gave her patient a level look. “If you want me to believe you, Angela, you need to wait until your housekeeper is present to take your medicine.”

  “You want me to lift my t-tongue for her t-too?” her patient snapped.

  “Not at this time,” Pat decided. She tapped her notepad with her pen, knowing it would irritate the other woman. “If you keep this combative attitude up, I may reconsider my decision. If you give me a moment, I’ll write you a new script for the new dosage.”

  “Why c-can’t I just start taking the anxiety medicine again?” Angela asked, her voice modulated to a more civilized tone, even if it did have a whine in it.

  Sighing, Pat stood and crossed to her desk. “I wouldn’t advise it at this time.”

  “But…I-I’m just so anxious all the time. I want to crawl out of my skin!”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Angela.” Not really, since it was what her dream lover wanted. But she had to at least pretend for a little while longer, especially with a witness. “But it’s not anxiety I see when we talk. I see overwhelming depression that needs to be contained. Once that is alleviated, we can start dealing with your anxiety again.”

  “Okay, okay,” Angela grumbled. “G-give me the new script then.”

  Pat nodded and wrote it as she spoke. “Now remember, if Dr. Ryan gives you the green light for resuming sexual relations with your husband, please remember that it would be prudent to use protection until the two of you are ready for another pregnancy. In fact, I hope you give my earlier advice serious consideration. With your history, children are a luxury you shouldn’t indulge in.”

  Her patient didn’t say anything but did nod her head. And she took the slip of paper from her doctor’s hand.

  “You’ll get there yet, Angela,” she said in final encouragement. “Just be patient. I’ll see you next week.”

  N an took a deep breath in relief as the door to the doctor’s office shut behind them. She trailed after her mistress as Angela walked to the reception area. Listened quietly as the other woman confirmed her appointment for next week.

  Her Miss Angela was still sniffing as they walked into the elevator to go down the few floors to her next appointment. The housekeeper was not an overly religious woman but offered up a silent prayer for her employer. Her friend. Even though Mr. Moore was continuing to assign her these chauffer duties, in this moment Nan felt the woman at her side needed her to be a friend.

  “I’m sorry it was a rough appointment,” she said to Angela as the elevator paused to let an elderly woman off at the floor above their own destination.

  “It’s been a rough month. Rough summer.” Angela shrugged, wiping at her nose with a tissue. “I-I don’t know why she doesn’t believe me when I say I t-take my medicine.”

  “I don’t know either. I certainly have no doubts, even if I don’t see you take it.” Nan shrugged, regretted having told the truth to the doctor earlier. “I will never make you show me under your tongue, no matter what she says.”

  “That w-would be a little awkward,” Angela agreed with a half-hearted laugh. “But, I’ll at least wait until you’re in the house before I take it. I c-can do that much I guess. It’ll irritate me, because I like to be on a horse by that time. I guess I’ll either run back up to the house for the pills, or just rearrange my schedule.”

  “That will be so frustrating for you.” And again, Nan sighed. The elevator doors opened on the bottom level and she walked beside her friend as they turned towards the clinic wing. “Your normal schedule is so much more beneficial for you.”

  “If I stick to it. I’m not sure…”

  “Not sure what?” asked Nan. But she had to wait as Angela checked it at the new reception desk. Once they took a seat in stiff armchairs, away from other patients, she asked the question again.

  “I’m not sure w-what the point is,” Miss Angela admitted with a soft voice. She looked around, her eyes fearful. “Promise me you won’t share?”

  “Absolutely!” Nan gave her word without a moment’s hesitation. “Not even to Everett.”

  “Good,” replied Angela, her shoulders slumping a little. “I-I’m having a really hard time finding hope right now. I-I can’t stop this damn stutter. My husband hides in his office and I wonder if Pat’s right. He must hate me for not telling him about the baby. I just…I-I stood at the sink last night. With my sleeping pills. Thinking about swallowing the whole thing.”

  Tears began sliding down Angela’s cheeks, and Nan put an arm around the shorter woman. She wasn’t surprised to hear this and wasn’t so sure she should keep it a secret from the other woman’s husband. “Oh Miss Angela.”

  “It hurts s-so bad, Nan. Ev-verything hurts. Toni’s been busy with her boyfriend, so she’s not coming around like she used to. Pat’s the only one I have to talk to, but even she’s beginning to treat me like I’m a nuisance.” Angela held tissues to her eyes as she cried. “I-I try talking to my husband, but…he’s got his own problems and doesn’t need mine on top of his. I feel s-so alone.”

  “You can always talk to me, any time. I do consider you a friend, Miss Angela. Please, I beg of you…if you find yourself standing in the kitchen with the pills again, call me first.”


  “You’re n-not going to hide them on me just for confessing that?”

  “No, I’m going to trust you.” Nan gave her a squeeze with her arm. “I think you need that right now. Have you been talking with your sister or brother? I know you care very much for them, and they for you.”

  “They’re busy with school,” replied Angela with a shrug. “Can w-we get lunch in town when we’re done here? I really want a burger and fries. And ice cream.”

  “Of course.”

  Angela’s name was called then, and Nan removed her arm as the other stood. She sighed as the other woman walked away. It hadn’t escaped her notice how her Miss Angela had given no promise to call should she find herself in the kitchen contemplating suicide again. But they had lunch after this appointment, and the trip home. It would give her time to talk with her friend more.

  It made her angry. Mr. Moore may have come home, but so far as she could see – he was doing nothing to heal the damage he’d inflicted.

  Was inflicting? Perhaps she’d have a word with him no matter what. If her friend couldn’t give her a promise about calling should she find herself contemplating suicide again, Nan could find someway to warn her friend’s husband without breaking her promise.

  53

  “E verything looks good, Angela,” Dr. Ryan was saying as he pulled away from the half-naked patient he had been examining. He repositioned the sheet around her legs. “Why don’t you take a moment to get dressed, and I’ll be right back?”

  He left the room at her nod, the nurse who had overseen the exam leaving with him.

  “She’s so quiet,” Sandy said softly, her arms folded across her chest. “But then, I guess it’s understandable.”

  “It is,” he commented quietly to the woman who was not only his nurse but also his wife. Strings had been pullled to get her transferred here, but it had been worth it. Hence his loyalty to Everett Crane. “I think it will be some time before she is back to being anything like the woman we knew.”

  “I’m surprised her husband didn’t come with her today,” commented Sandy. Her hands on her hips, her disapproval clear, she gave a casual glance around. “Before this, he was always so involved with her health and care. And this was his child. It was his child, wasn’t it?”

  “It was,” Ryan confirmed, unwilling to share everything he knew about the Moore’s relationship. “I’m not entirely sure what’s taken place between them, but it’s a shame her body miscarried. A child could have done a lot to help heal the wounds between them.”

  Sandy nodded. “So sad. You’d better get back to her. Do you need me to come back in?”

  Ryan shook his head. “Not unless she asks for someone to be present. Women are making her quite uncomfortable right now.”

  “That’s understandable too,” the short woman said with a nod.

  Returning to the exam room, the doctor took a moment to observe the nervous woman seated on the exam table. Now dressed, Angela Moore was running the palms of her hands up and down the denim of her jeans. It was a new sign of anxiety that Pat had spoken of to him just recently. It was also out of character for Angela to be wearing Jean’s this time of year.

  “What’s wrong, Angela?” he asked her, taking a seat on the low wheeled stool and rolling over to the end of the table.

  “Nothing. I just don’t like being left alone.”

  Ryan nodded. Pat had mentioned a slight stutter as well, but it hadn’t shown itself yet this visit. “How do you handle that at the ranch?”

  Angela shrugged. “Since my husband hides in his office, I spend a lot of time with the horses or with Nan. There’s usually someone around in the stables. I haven’t been out with the cattle, it’s too far. And since Craig accused me of flirting with the ranch hands, I figured I should steer clear of them. I don’t think I do, but better safe than sorry at this point.” She shrugged her shoulders uncomfortably.

  “You’re comfortable with Nan?”

  The young woman nodded. “She’s a good friend.”

  “How have your sessions with Pat been going? Has Craig been going to them with you like he used to?”

  Angela sighed and rolled her eyes. “No. He hasn’t. I think he schedules his own sessions with his doctor for the same time. It’d make things so much easier if he would come with me like he used to, but I did tell him to fix himself first. And Pat is Pat – Give it time, Angela. Rome wasn’t built in a day, Angela, neither is trust. Blah blah blah…I know what she says is the truth, but sometimes I feel like something’s distracting her and she’s just giving me the easy answers. There are no easy answers for this.”

  “This is true,” Ryan commented. He himself had noticed a change in Pat where this patient was concerned. “And what about Dr. Rockwell? Do you still talk with him about any of this?”

  “Some. Mostly just trying to figure out how to reconnect with my husband. The only thing we’ve been doing has been having lunch and movies on Sunday afternoons like we used to in the beginning. I know Pat’s told Kevin about the things that happened, but he never mentions it when I ask him questions about Craig. Every time I try to tell him, Craig I mean, about the thing that happened, he’s always busy or sketching or…It’s like only part of him came home.”

  Ryan pursed his lips. “Not knowing his side of the story, there’s not much I can offer you, Angela. Even though he didn’t stray physically, Craig may feel like he did because he wandered emotionally. Don’t misunderstand that, please. Old girlfriends are often the same hang-ups as old boyfriends can be. I know that if a certain woman from my past were to show up on my doorstep this evening, I’d be just as confused as Craig must have been in New York, even though I love Sandy with all my heart. Is there no one from your past who could have the same effect on you?”

  Angela shrugged. “I stopped feeling things for boys after my brother died. Until Craig. My brother wasn’t my brother, and we both knew it. Of course, we didn’t know we were cousins.” She smiled wryly. “But I chose between the two of them years ago, when I had the chance to stay dead and be with my brother on the other side. God, that sounds so weird. Craig is all I want. And I thought I was who he wanted. He says I am, but he’s been so distant. Even when we’re sitting on the couch together holding hands.”

  Ryan nodded. “My thoughts remain the same, Angela. I think your husband’s feeling guilty. He may have chosen you, but he feels guilty for putting himself in a position where he had to make that choice. If he’s grieving for her death, no doubt he’s feeling guilty over that too.”

  “M-maybe. Other things happened too. You said everything looked good? Down there I mean?”

  And there was the stutter. He managed not to sigh. “Yes. You weren’t permanently damaged in any way, and there’s no reason why you couldn’t become pregnant again. I would advise you to wait however.”

  Angela nodded at her doctor, sighing and rolling her eyes. “Pat says the same thing – Neither you nor Craig will be ready for the emotional fallout of another pregnancy, Angela…Wait until things have healed some more.” She smiled lopsidedly him. “I-I’d have to be crazy to even try right now, especially with a man who doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me.”

  “Not crazy,” Ryan said neutrally. Her impression of her therapist was more amusing than he could let her know. “Just unwise. Pat is right about one thing, just give things some more time.”

  Angela nodded.

  “Do you want me to prescribe birth control? Or do you want to wait until you’ve talked to Craig about it?”

  His patient hesitated. “I’ll wait. I-I don’t think he wants sex right now anyway.”

  “Alright, we’ll wait then. Unless there’s something else, you can go home.” Ryan rolled away at her second nod.

  A ngela knocked at the door of Craig’s office and poked her head in through the cracked door. It had been a system they’d worked out early in their marriage. It had always been open before his trip to New York. Since his return, it was closed o
r shut to this six-inch crack, letting her know she should knock first. He’d never denied her free roam before, and it bothered her. Was she as spoiled as Pat claimed? “You busy?”

  He looked up from the sketch he was working on. He was sitting in his office chair, leaning back with the book in his lap. “A little. What’s up? You saw Dr. Ryan today, right?”

  “Yes. He…” She was unsure whether to go in the office or not. He didn’t look upset over her intrusion into whatever he was working on, but he didn’t look welcoming either. He hadn’t even lowered the legs he had propped on the desk. She stayed where she was, halfway in and halfway out. “He said everything looks good, and that we can resume having sex…I guess whenever w-we feel like it.”

  Her husband nodded but didn’t look exactly thrilled with the idea.

  “He…said there’s n-no reason why I couldn’t get pregnant again, but he thinks we should wait before trying.”

  Again, Craig just nodded. He looked confused, as though he wasn’t sure what to say.

  “That’s all,” Angela said, to save him the trouble of saying something to her. “I’ll leave you alone n-now.”

  Even that failed to elicit a response. She drew her head back, and then for good measure shut the door fully. She might have pulled it a little harder than was necessary. Why wasn’t he talking to her? Was she really a shrew like Pat said?

  Angela thought about going into the kitchen and baking, but her heart wasn’t into it. Instead, she slipped her riding boots on and wandered down to the stables, Princess following her like the shadow she’d become since Craig had left for New York. Quietly, she slipped into the stables, trying not to disturb the horses that were in their stalls at the moment. She made her way into Belle’s empty stall.