Jolted (Conflicted Encounters #1)

by Alyne Roberts

  She was so graceful and gentle as she approached people, never letting her smile fade. I saw their faces light up and their eyes lock to her the moment she asked if there was anything she could get them. Watching her work and interact, I saw the full scope of her class and warmth. I hated the contrast I could see between us.

  I was darkness, whereas she was light. She was love and joy, while I was hate and anger. She was brilliant, smart, and had everything to offer the world. I was bitter, with no college education, and could manage nothing more than screwing things up. I watched as she laughed and poured more water for a familiar face.

  My blood boiled as I watched Caleb's eyes wandering down her tight form. I clenched my fists and stiffly walked over to his booth, taking a seat. I couldn't help but smirk at both of their surprised expressions.

  "Hey, buddy," Caleb said with a face of arrogance.

  "Hey," I snipped. "Will you be ready soon, Kallie? I came to give you a ride. It's hot out."

  She blinked at me before nodding and heading back to the kitchen.

  "Finally," Caleb said, throwing a sugar packet at me.

  "What?" I asked as I tossed it back at him. Much harder.

  "You finally admitted it," he said simply. When I stared back at him in confusion, he sighed. "Kallie. You like her."

  "Fuck off," I said looking away. "What are we, in third grade?"

  "Good for you," he said while he left some cash on the table and slid out of the booth.

  Seconds later, Kallie came out from the back with her purse and a milk shake. "Can I drink this before we go?" she asked.

  "Of course. Sit," I told her, and she took the spot Caleb had just been occupying. "Long day?"

  "Yes," she sighed and took a sip of the shake. "And hot. How was your day?"

  "It was okay. Your car should be ready soon."

  "Oh."

  Aside from Scarlett, I was never good at reading people and what they were thinking. I could read Scarlett from just a glance, and she could do the same with me. We were twins after all and had spent our entire lives together. But, Kallie had the most expressive face I had ever seen. I watched a wave of thoughts and feelings flicker across her features. Surprise, disappointment, wonder, confusion, excitement, and then finally settling on something I could only label as empty.

  "Great," she said in a level tone.

  I struggled to find words. I didn't know what she would do when I traded her keys for the check in a day or so. Would she get in and drive back home? Would we ever speak again? Would she want to stay? What did I want her to do? Watching her lips wrap around the straw distracted me from all the questions I had on my mind.

  "Wanna go for a drive?" I asked her as she finished the shake and handed it off to the bus boy.

  "Sure," she replied without hesitation.

  I wasn't ready to be in the apartment with her where the questions would come. Where we would have to decide where she would sleep and how we would act around each other. If Scarlett was there, that would force us to behave like nothing happened until she went to sleep. If she wasn't there, then I would just worry where she was and who she was with. I didn't want to think anymore.

  We drove along the country roads. There wasn't much to look at besides empty fields and some wooded lots. Her hair blew around in the wind and the music from my radio left conversation impossible. I calmed down as I watched barns and scenes of the simple life rush past my windshield.

  This was the world I was used to. Nothing to do. No one better to be. I could forget that the girl in the passenger seat had ambitions and a future ahead of her. I could forget that she was a better person than I could ever be and I would only bring her down. The sounds of her charms clinking together made me force her hands still.

  "What are you so nervous about?" I asked her, turning down the radio.

  "Nothing," she answered quickly.

  "Bull shit," I laughed at her.

  "When do I pick up my car?" she asked, finally bringing up the awkward topic.

  "Tomorrow or the day after."

  She sighed. "I just didn't prepare myself for going home yet."

  I looked over at her and she was staring out the side window. I could see the worry and distress written all over her face, and my insides clenched. I pulled the truck over into a service path under some power lines. She looked around frantically at our sudden stop.

  "Why don't you want to go home?" I asked her.

  "Because I'm someone different here."

  "You can't be that person there?"

  "No. I can't, Ryder," she huffed, and then crossed her arms.

  "Why?"

  "Because no one would understand me," she snapped with frustration. I watched as her body started to shake and her face grew red with anger. "Here, I'm alive. I can feel. I can live and learn. I don't hurt as much and I forget. When I go home, I need to suck it up, smile, and be the girl I was raised to be. But how the fuck do I do that now? I'm not going to be a politician's wife anymore. I have no idea if I still want to go to school for business, and I'm expected to start classes in the fall. I don't want to spend another day at our family store and that's the life plan!"

  I flinched at her outburst and her cuss word. She rarely swore and I only ever saw her angry with me, never anyone else. She was always calm and composed.

  "Then don't," I said, grabbing her chin to make her look at me. Her clear blue eyes were watering over. I let the words replaying in my mind come out of my mouth without thought. "You can stay."

  Regardless of if I wanted her to stay or not, I knew I couldn't make her leave if it would make her this unhappy. She could stay for herself, not for me.

  "I can't."

  "Your choice."

  Her eyes got wide and she stared back at me. Her lips crashed to mine and her hands clenched in my hair. I groaned and pulled her body into me. I leaned into her and pushed her against the door, pulling a whimper from her. Our tongues clashed together, fighting for control.

  My hands moved over any part of her I could touch. After hours of exploring her body in bed, every touch still felt like the first time. Every inch felt like new territory for me. I could honestly kiss this mouth and touch this body every night and never get bored. That thought alone caused me to freeze and pull back abruptly.

  Kallie looked up at me, startled and short of breath. Her chest heaved under me as she searched my face, trying to figure out why I stopped. I sensed it when she finally realized what I was thinking. The look of defeat and resolve broke me in two. When she made a move to push me off, I resisted. I couldn't let her push me away, even though I should.

  I slowly came back down to her, stopping just before our lips touched. I could feel her breath rolling over my mouth. I brushed her lips lightly with mine and heard her sharp intake.

  "I'm no good for you," I rasped.

  "You don't get to decide what's good for me," she whispered back.

  "I'll break you," I warned, squeezing my eyes closed.

  "I'm already broken, Ryder."

  "You can do better."

  "My choice," she said before she closed the space between us.

  We kissed until my lips were numb. The cab of my truck was reaching temperatures that would soon cause heat stroke. The sound of our panting and moans drowned out the music softly playing in the background. Her nails clawed at my back and my chest as our hands started to grow frantic.

  I froze when I heard the hiss of pain from her lips. My hands were gripped on her sides. I completely forgot her sore skin from the tattoo. I jumped off her like I had been shocked.

  "Sorry," I told her.

  "No," she said as she pulled herself up and mounted herself on top of me.

  We started back right where we left off. I kept my hands away from her tattoo and paid no attention to our surroundings. The pink tint of the sun setting lit up the cab while we groped and grabbed at each other. Her hips moved against mine and her small hands pulled at my hair.

  I slid one
hand up under the skirt of her dress and put the other on her chest to push her back against the steering wheel. I wanted to watch her face as I slide my fingers inside her. Her head rolled back and her eyes closed. Her breathing quickened and her face grew redder with the speed of my fingers in her. Without blinking, I watched her face and the pleasure I was giving her.

  As her body trembled and clenched on top of me, I felt a sense of accomplishment I’d never felt before. I gave her this. She cried out my name and my ears were the only ones that could hear it. I realized that was I scene I would never be able to erase from my memory. And I didn’t want to, either.

  "How was that for feeling? For living and learning?" I asked in a tight voice close to her ear as she gasped for air.

  "Exactly how it should be."

  I looked over at her sleeping form on the drive home. Her head was resting on the window and her face looked quiet and calm. Her face was always showing dozens of thoughts and feelings. Now, it was relaxed, and I couldn't help but feel that I made that happen for this small moment in time.

  I had no idea what she had gone through or what had made a girl that had a plan, had dreams and knew what she was doing, decided to throw it all out the window. But looking at her, I knew I couldn't force her to go home and be somewhere she didn't want to be. I wasn't sure that staying was the best idea, but I couldn't bring myself to watch her leave.

  I parked at the apartment and was relieved, and disappointed at the same time, to see Scarlett's car. I quietly and gently lifted Kallie out the truck and carried her up the stairs. I walked past Scarlett on the couch and placed Kallie in my bed. Not wanting to wake her, I tip toed back out to the living room.

  "Hey." I took a seat next to my sister.

  "Hey back," she said. "Where were you guys?"

  "Went for a drive," I told her. "Her car should be ready in a day or so." I knew I didn't need to explain to her what that meant.

  "What happens then?" she asked.

  "Up to her. I told her she didn't need to go home," I admitted as I put my face in my hands.

  "What do you want?" she asked, turning toward me.

  "I want her to do what she wants to do," I said, trying to avoid eye contact with the mind reader. She has always been able to see right through me.

  "Which means," she said, pausing to think, "that you want her to want to stay, or you feel bad asking her to leave." I just nodded.

  "I'm going with the first guess."

  "I don't need your lecture, Scar," I mumbled.

  "I don't have one, bro," she said, sitting back. "I love you both. I want you both happy. I obviously don't want to see either of you hurt, but it doesn't necessarily need to end up that way."

  "Experience says it will."

  "Bull shit," she huffed. "You blame yourself for everything, Ryder. You aren't as poisonous as you think you are. Get over yourself. You don't have the power to fuck every single thing up," she said before she got up and stomped off to her room.

  I crawled into bed and slid the work uniform off Kallie. She woke briefly to help me get it off and curled up next me. I pulled her into me and placed a soft kiss to the top of her head. She nuzzled herself closer and sighed. I fell asleep with my body wrapped up in hers.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Kallie

  "How much do I owe you?" I asked, leaning across the counter in the back office of the garage. My voice sounded cheery, hiding what I really felt.

  "Here," Ryder said, sliding the yellow receipt to me. I glanced at the number and handed him my bank card. At the last second, I pulled it out of his reach. "What?" he asked.

  "Maybe I should use cash," I wondered out loud. "So it doesn't show up on my statements and they see it."

  "Who? Your parents?" he asked, staring at me like I was crazy.

  "Yeah," I admitted. "Oh, forget it. They won't look once I'm home."

  Ryder looked away quickly and took the card to swipe it. "You've been running all over town using this. They would know by now."

  "That's true," I realized, a little offended. My family could have easily found me. So, they either didn't care to look, or did look and didn't care to do anything about it. "What's this?" I asked suddenly to sidetrack myself.

  Ryder looked up at the metal ring I was holding. "It's a hose clamp."

  "Can I have it?"

  His eyes softened when he looked at me. "If you want it. It's dirty. It's just garbage."

  "It's a bracelet now," I announced, slipping it over my wrist. The dirty and oiled metal contrasted with the shiny white gold of my charm bracelet. "I always wanted to design jewelry. Instead, we just order the biggest designers and sell what everyone else is selling."

  "Why don't you just design jewelry then?" he asked me, leaning forward with interest.

  He spun the piece of trashed metal around my wrist, his fingers gently grazing the skin. His dark hair fell into his eyes and I brushed it away before I could stop myself. He looked shocked by my gesture, but didn't pull away.

  Our relationship for the past few days could be described as nothing short of a confusing tango. It was hot and then cold, this way and then that way. Neither of us spoke of what we were doing or what was going on. I was going to have my car back in the morning and I didn't even have his phone number. I didn’t even know what I would do if I did have his number.

  He told me I could stay. It was a choice I had to make.

  I looked back up at him and remembered he asked me a question. "I don't know. I just always planned to run the company, nothing more."

  "What? You can't change your mind?" he asked, amused. It was obvious that Ryder thought it was absurd I made my plans and would stick to them, even if I didn't want to. The more I thought of it that way, the more I agreed.

  "I can try," I said to myself. "Never tried it before."

  "You are absolutely ridiculous, you know that?" Ryder said, looking at me with a soft expression.

  "How so?"

  "I just never met anyone like you before." He leaned over the counter and kissed my lips gently. I stared back at him wide-eyed. I didn't expect the public display of affection. He looked around, seemed to notice where we were, and straightened up.

  "Well, I should get going," I said awkwardly.

  "Let me take you," he insisted.

  He hit a few buttons on the computer and yelled his goodbye to the rest of the guys in the shop. He helped me up into his truck and we were back at the apartment minutes later. I took two steps in the door before Ryder grabbed my hand and spun me around to face him.

  His mouth was on mine and my legs almost gave out from the surprise and the sudden rush of feelings he always caused in me. His hand gripped the back of my neck as he walked us backwards into the living room. His tongue caressed mine and I felt the rumble deep in his chest. When the back of my knees hit the couch, he leaned me back over the arm.

  "I've been waiting for this all fucking day," he moaned.

  I was too tense to speak or respond. We moved frantically with impatience and need. I pulled him closer to me and we sank deeper onto the couch. He slipped my flats off and tickled the bottoms of my feet before trailing up my legs. When his fingers touched between my legs, I whined, begging him to give me what I needed.

  He grabbed my thighs and lifted me up, carrying me to his bedroom. I bounced on the bed when he tossed me on the mattress. He tore off his shirt and pants in one swift movement before he crawled over me, glaring at me from above. I watched with a hungry gaze while he slid a condom on, wasting no time. He lifted my skirt up and wedged himself between my knees. I pushed my hips up to meet his and he bit down on his lip.

  "What will you do when I give you your keys tomorrow?"

  "What?" I panted. How could he ask a question like that right now?

  "What will you do?"

  "I don't know," I admitted, impatiently and pushing harder into him.

  He grabbed my wrists, put them over my head, and held them down with one hand. I squirm
ed to break free and he pushed himself down on me to keep me still. He was so close to entering me that I froze and prayed he would. I needed him. I needed the connection and the release. I desperately wanted the feelings only Ryder could give.

  "You know what you want, Kallie," he said in a low and harsh voice.

  I stared up into his dark eyes. "No, I don't." Yes, I did.

  "No?" he teased, pushing into me the slightest bit. "You sure about that? I think you're scared."

  "You," I gasped. "I want you."

  He pushed into me hard, and I cried out with the intensity and force as he filled me. He licked and bit at my neck then up to my earlobe. "Just right now?"

  "I want more," I moaned as the sensations built up deep inside me. I did know what I wanted, I just didn't know if it was right or why I wanted it as bad as I did.

  Ryder looked down and into my eyes, unmoving. Our chests heaved and a thin layer of sweat already coated our skin. "Please, tell me what you want."

  I nodded and hoped he could see how I meant it. "I don't want to go home. I don't want to leave you," I whispered.

  His lips covered mine in a long kiss. I felt like he would suck all the pain and hurt out of my heart if he could. His moves turned slow and deliberate. He wasn't rushing anymore and took his time teasing me and bringing me to the edge, only to pull back and make me wait. When I thought my body and heart would give out, he stopped moving.

  He ran his hand through my tangled hair and held the back of my head. He moved his other hand to cover the tattoo gently. He stared into my eyes as he slowly started moving again. His eyes never left mine, and I never looked away. I saw nothing but him until my head fell back and I cried out his name.

  "You look like you're in good mood," Tiffany teased as I walked into the diner in the morning.

  "Well, I am. Is that a crime?" I asked as I put my stuff in the back room and clocked in for my shift.

  "Not at all, baby girl," she said, leaning up against the doorway. "You just always look so locked away in your little head."

  "Because I usually I am," I joked as I strolled out to the dinning room full of customers, who I now recognized as the regulars.