Ruin

by C. J. Scott

  I looked down at it and for the first time, saw it through her eyes. It wasn't just a photo of two boys smiling, but a picture of her son and another boy who'd become someone horrible, vile.

  She was right. He didn't deserve to sit with the other Merriweathers.

  "Mrs. M," I began and stopped. It wasn't making sense. She didn't speak about Ben as if she despised him. She did despise his father, however, not for being the bastard son of her husband, but for being an abusive husband and father. "Why are you doing this to Ben? Are you still so angry at Heather Parker that you don't want her grandson to have any entitlement on the estate? Look, I understand if you're protecting Jane, but he is a Merriweather too. I know it doesn't seem fair—"

  "Silence, Kathryn Bell. You talk too much. Besides, you've got it wrong. You ought to slow down and think first before you let that mouth run away with you. Just like your father. James Bell wasn't a very good policeman until he learned to slow down and simply observe. I'm sure he's already worked it out."

  "I can assure you, he hasn't," I said pointedly. "Or I wouldn't be here."

  She humphed. "If I was jealous of Heather Parker and didn't want Ben to have a claim on the estate, why did I let him in my house at all? He was afraid I would throw him out, after he told me. That's why he waited until the next day to tell me, although I already guessed." She sighed. "I admit that I was worried at first. Worried that he was like his father and grandfather in all the wrong ways. Worried that he wanted to take Jane's home away from her. He assured me that he didn't and I...took a chance. I decided to believe him."

  "You let him stay even after he told you he'd been in prison?"

  "Oh yes. Actually it was because of that that I believed he wouldn't try to trick Jane out of what's rightfully hers. His past is not something to be taken lightly. I could see from the way he spoke about it that he was deeply affected by it all. And I felt responsible in a way. If Ebenezer and I hadn't insisted that Heather Parker leave Winter, none of this would have come to pass. I could have told Ebenezer to allow her to stay, and he would have given in. I had some influence over him."

  "Okay, so I got it wrong," I said. "You didn't lie about the theft to get revenge on Heather Parker. So why did you do it? You seem to like Ben. Why are you doing this to him?"

  "For a college girl, you're very stupid."

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jane bite back a smile. It didn't seem like the right time to thump her. "Then please enlighten me."

  "Ben has been like a brother to Jane since he arrived. She's been happy." She almost gave Jane a smile, but not quite. Mrs. M didn't smile. "I want her to be happy. I don't want her to be alone up here after I'm gone."

  "But Gran—"

  "Not now, Jane." She held up her hand for silence. "I won't live forever, and since you don't appear to be about to settle down anytime soon, I thought it would be nice for you to have a cousin around. He's a nice boy. He'll be good for this old place. Good for you."

  "Ye-es," I hedged. "That still doesn't explain why you've made a false accusation of theft against him."

  She sighed. "I suppose your father does know it's false by now. He's clever that way. Thoughtful." This she said with a frown at me that I assumed meant I was neither clever nor thoughtful.

  "Whatever Dad thinks, he can't let Ben out until you withdraw the accusation, Mrs. Merriweather."

  "Is that so? Then perhaps it's not all lost after all. He'll be staying."

  Staying? Oh! Now I got it. "You want him to stay in Winter, so you got him arrested? Mrs. M, that's..." The dumbest thing ever. "That's not how it works."

  "Kathryn Bell, you may think you know everything now that you've been to college, but this is Winter. Things work differently here. Let me explain." She shifted in her chair to face me.

  I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. The woman was a nutcase, but she also held Ben's future in her hands. I needed to hear her out. "Ben's crime is a petty one. Your father won't record it if Ben gives the money back and someone reputable promises to give surety."

  "Surety? What are you talking about?"

  "He'll be released into my care. It's quite simple. I can't believe you're not following this."

  "Gran," Jane said, patiently, "I don't think that's right."

  "That's how it's always worked in Winter."

  "When was the last time someone was released on surety?" I asked.

  She stared up at the ceiling. Her lips moved as she counted. "Nineteen seventy-six. Thomas Locke, the assistant gardener, stole some vegetables to give to his wife. She was expecting their fourth child and had a craving for roasted potatoes. The store was closed by the time he got there, so he returned here that night and uprooted some from my garden. One of the maids saw him. He was arrested, but James Bell released him into my care since it was a minor infringement. I had to promise to keep Thomas Locke gainfully employed and under close supervision, and he had to promise not to leave town or reoffend."

  "That was before Dad's time," I said. "My grandfather would have been the officer in charge then."

  She waved a hand. "It doesn't matter which Bell it was."

  I sighed. "This isn't nineteen seventy-six, Mrs. M. Dad can't release Ben unless you withdraw the accusation."

  "If I withdraw it, he's free to go?"

  I nodded.

  "Then I won't. He's going to leave Winter. He told me so." She pointed at me. "That's all your fault, Kathryn Bell. Don't pretend it's not."

  I sighed. "Mrs. Merriweather, this is serious. Ben has a prior conviction. A bad one."

  "He can't be blamed for that."

  "No," I said through my clenched jaw. "But the fact is, Dad can't overlook this, nor can he release Ben into your care. Do you understand? This is a big deal. You have to call Dad now." I pulled my cell out of my bag. "I'll even dial for you."

  She clicked her tongue and pointed the end of her cane at the cordless phone sitting on a table near the door. "Pass me a proper telephone."

  Chapter 10

  Dad drove Ben to the Merriweather house. He must have gone via home because he also brought a tray of lasagna. Mom made a kickass lasagna and the smell of it soon wafted down to us in the drawing room as it warmed up in the oven.

  "Well," Mrs. M said, stamping her cane on the floor. "It's settled then. You're staying, Ben Parker."

  Ben didn't look like someone who was going to stay. He sat in one of the big chairs opposite Jane and I on the sofa. He was all tightly wound tension and barely contained energy. It must have been frustrating for him being locked away in that cell, wanting to get out and get on with life. I couldn't imagine how he'd done it for four years. It made my heart bleed just thinking about it.

  "It's not as simple as that," he said. He cradled his teacup in his big hands, the saucer balanced on the arm of the chair. He glanced to Dad, of all people.

  Look at me! But he'd hardly acknowledged my presence at all since his return. He'd given me a fleeting, sad smile and brushed right past me. Jane had hugged him, and he'd hugged her back so fiercely it brought tears to my eyes. Tears of happiness that they'd found the family they both wanted. Tears of jealousy because I wanted to feel his arms around me too.

  "Why isn't it as simple as that?" Jane blurted out. "It's not like you have anywhere else to go! And we all want you to stay."

  Ben cleared his throat and once again looked to Dad.

  Dad drained his teacup and stood. "I have to get back."

  "You're not staying for lunch?" Jane asked.

  "Mrs. Bell is expecting me."

  Just like every other day. Dad always went home for lunch if he wasn't in the middle of something important, and there was rarely anything important happening in Winter. There was rarely anything happening at all.

  "Sir," Ben said, rising. "I want to thank you for the way you treated me today. It was...unexpected."

  "We country cops aren't the same as the big city ones. We're all about community here." He shook Ben's hand. "Anyway, it was
good to get to know you. Very good."

  "I also want to apologize."

  "For what? None of this was your fault."

  "Maybe I should have come clean sooner about...everything."

  "Maybe." Dad glanced at Mrs. M. "I'm not sure it would have made much difference." His gaze flicked to me. "Although you could have saved yourself an interrogation."

  I gave him a weak smile. It was all I could manage. "You'd better go, Dad. Mom's waiting."

  He kissed the top of my head, and I reached up and hugged him. "Walk me out, son," he said to Ben when we drew apart.

  They left and I slumped back in the sofa. I felt faint, washed out, like I wasn't altogether there. Maybe it was emotional exhaustion.

  "Do you think he'll stay?" Jane asked, eyeing the doorway.

  "Of course he will," Mrs. M said, decisive. "What's for lunch?"

  "Mrs. Bell made lasagna. Wasn't that good of her?"

  Mrs. M wrinkled her nose. "I don't like foreign food. I'll have a sandwich in my room."

  "We'll get the maid to bring it up to you," I said, casual as can be.

  "Very amusing, Kathryn Bell. Now, help me up."

  Jane and I took one arm each, and after a few attempts, we got Mrs. M standing. "I'll walk you up," Jane said just as Ben came in.

  "I'll do it," he said.

  "No," both Jane and Mrs. M said together.

  He frowned at them, clearly confused, but I understood. They were giving us some time alone together. I expected the thoughtful gesture from Jane, but not from Mrs. M. She was full of surprises lately. I shot Jane a smile of thanks even though my heart was hammering at my ribs. I wanted to speak to Ben alone, yet it scared the shit out of me too. What if I said the wrong thing?

  What if I couldn't convince him to stay?

  We watched their slow progress until they were no longer visible. The room felt emptier without them in it, and quiet. The tap of Mrs. M's cane up the stairs made the only sound, but that too finally faded.

  Ben hovered near the doorway, his hands in his pockets, avoiding my gaze. He looked uncertain, like he wanted to tell me something but wasn't sure how to broach it.

  He was going to tell me he was still leaving. Nothing had changed.

  The hammering of my heart got louder. Surely he could hear it on the other side of the room.

  "Kate—"

  "Don't. I have something I want to ask you first." I couldn't face hearing him say goodbye.

  Maybe if I gave him some things to think about, remind him of what we'd shared, he would change his mind. I don't know. It was crazy thinking, stupid really, but I wanted to delay his leaving for as long as possible. The daily bus out of town left in a couple of hours. If I could get him to miss it, I'd have bought another day and night in which to convince him to stay.

  "Why did you tell Mrs. M about your past and not me? Or Jane?"

  He looked surprised at the question. What had he been expecting? Begging? Maybe later...

  "She needed to know," he said. "She'd guessed why I chose to come here to Winter and why I chose to work on the house for no money."

  "What do you mean?" I asked. "You needed somewhere to stay overnight. You had no money and the bus wasn't leaving until the next day."

  His gaze settled on me fully for the first time in a long time. There was such tenderness in those eyes, such longing. It made my heart crack. "That's true, more or less. I didn't get off in Winter for the architecture, although the town is nice. I got off on purpose, to meet my...my family. If I had one. But after having a coffee in the Winter Warmer, I got cold feet. I didn't think any Merriweathers would want to know about the bastard grandson who killed his own father. I decided to leave. That's when I met you and Jane. I intended to get on the next bus out of town and never go back, but when I found out it wasn't leaving until the next day, I was stuck. I didn't have any money. You stepped in, Kate. You suggested I come here to the Merriweather house. I recognized the name and decided to take a chance. You threw me a lifeline."

  "Just a small one," I said.

  "It was enough for me to—" He cleared his throat. "Enough for me to feel like people could maybe see me as me and not as the guy who'd served four years for killing his own father."

  "That's not you," I said, stepping toward him. "Don't let it define you, Ben, or it'll destroy you."

  He inclined his head in a nod. Was he thanking me? Agreeing with me? I didn't know. I couldn't read him. His face was taut, his eyes flat and not quite looking at me. "Besides, I needed somewhere to sleep the night. I thought I could see how things lay here and leave the next day without telling anyone who I was, but Mrs. M knew instantly that I was a Merriweather. She wanted to know what happened after my Grandmother Heather left town. I told her. Told her everything. It didn't feel right to hold any of it back."

  "I guess not. So you have no other family except Jane?"

  He nodded. "There's no one on my mom's side, and my Grandmother Heather was my last link to my dad's. She died while I was in jail. She told me all about Winter and my grandfather Ebenezer Merriweather. She suggested I come here and look for Peter Merriweather. I found Jane instead, and Mrs. M. And you."

  He'd mentioned me in the same breath as family. It was more than I could ever hope for. "It must have been a shock for Mrs. M," I said, my voice wobbling.

  "I think she's shock proof. She said she knew all along that the boy in that photo was her husband's son. If it had been him who'd come here looking for family, I don't think she would have taken him in. But I was one step removed from her husband's mistake, and from Heather."

  "She's very glad you stayed," I said. "She probably won't say it, but this whole fiasco proves it. She went to a lot of effort to get you arrested and tie you here for a while longer."

  His lips kicked up in a smile. "Hiding the money in my things was a stroke of genius. Your father believed her."

  "Not for long, I bet. He can see through lies. He's good like that."

  "He's a good cop."

  "And a good father."

  "You should tell him that."

  I nodded, tears welling. Damn it, why couldn't I turn the waterworks off? "So what did he say to you just now?"

  He shifted his weight. "That was a private conversation."

  "If he'd wanted to keep it private, he would have spoken to you more discreetly. He knows I'll interrogate you until you tell me."

  He flashed a grin. It was such a relief to see it, but it didn't last long. "He said that if I wanted to stay in Winter, that was okay with him."

  I needed to hold onto something to steady myself, but there were no chairs or tables within reach. I hugged myself instead. "Anything else?"

  "He said that if I wanted to date you, that was okay with him too."

  "Oh. Um... " I bit the inside of my cheek and tasted blood. I wanted to run to Ben, but he wasn't giving me the right signals. He wasn't giving me any signals. He was just standing there by the door, his hands buried in his jeans pockets, his head lowered. I needed to see his eyes.

  Needed to see into them and know what he thought, what he felt.

  He sighed heavily. Sighing was bad. People sighed right before giving sad news. I braced myself.

  "Then he told me you were doing well with your studies and that I wasn't to get in the way of you finishing your degree. He said you could go anywhere after you finished, do anything, and that coming back to Winter probably wasn't high on your list of priorities."

  Dad had said that? Wow. He knew me better than I thought. Except, I wasn't sure anymore if I did want to stay away from Winter. Being in Winter suddenly seemed like the best place to be.

  If Ben stayed.

  "I told him I'd respect your wishes in everything," he said. "I'm not going to be responsible for holding anyone back from realizing their dreams. But I'll be staying here."

  He was staying?

  He was staying.

  I nodded. It was all I could do. My brain had gone all foggy, and my voice did
n't seem to be able to work. My heart had taken over my entire body. It pumped so hard that blood gushed through my veins and pounded between my ears.

  I wasn't even sure if Ben saw my nod. He didn't seem to be looking at me. Why the hell wasn't he looking at me? Why wasn't he holding me? Kissing me? What was he waiting for?

  "I want to see this house restored," he went on. "I want to be here for Jane if she needs me, and Mrs. M. They're my family." He pulled one hand out of his pocket and grasped the door handle. His knuckles turned white. "They're all I've got."

  "That's not true," I whispered. The tears filled my vision completely. I could feel them on the rim of my eyes, almost spilling over but not quite. "You have me too."

  His head jerked up. His eyes were full too. He blinked and one tear slid down his cheek. I ran to him and he caught me. It felt like two solid braces wrapped around my waist, holding me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

  I grasped the back of his head and kissed his damp cheeks, his eyelids, then finally his mouth. The kiss was fierce and hungry, devouring. All the pent-up sadness we'd held in for too long gushed out in that one, long kiss until finally we were free of it. What remained was pure joy like I never knew existed. We didn't break the kiss, but it changed to something more tender and sweet, a promise of happiness and love for a long time to come. I didn't need to hear him say it. It was all there in the kiss, a more honest thing than words.

  We moved from the doorway to the sofa, holding each other. It was as if neither of us wanted to let the other go, not even for a second.

  It was Jane's small gasp that finally separated us. She stood in the doorway, her hands covering her mouth. I smiled at her.

  "You're staying," she said to Ben.

  He nodded. "For now."

  I frowned. "For now? But I thought..."