Indigo Road

by RJ Jones

  “I remember seeing that but didn’t think anything of it at the time. What color did you buy?”

  “Same. Any other color would have felt weird.”

  Alex slipped his shirt on, the shiny letters catching the sun. It fit his shoulders nicely. I pulled on my indigo shirt too, and after we packed our bags and checked out, we hit the road, smiles plastered across our faces.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  January

  Arizona, Utah, and Colorado

  SAN DIEGO was as far south as we could go without heading into Mexico, so we hit the road east. The initial plan was to spend a few days in Vegas, but after what happened in LA, we decided to give major cities a miss.

  After crossing the state line into Arizona, we headed north to Utah. Alex spent a lot of the time behind the camera as I drove through Monument Valley, insisting on stopping every time he saw one of the large sandstone buttes. He took forever. They all looked pretty much the same to me, but Alex ignored my frustrated grunts. I couldn’t deny that they were impressive, though. The panorama appeared alien. Large red rocks against a vivid blue sky randomly dotted the landscape, some as big as a small mountain, some tall and thin like massive totem poles reaching to the heavens. Some rounded, some square and flat, but all were awe-inspiring.

  And there was snow. We might not have been very far north, but I didn’t expect to be this cold during the trip. Although, it was nice cuddling in the back of Maude, sharing each other’s body heat. There was always that.

  Our sex life had stepped up another notch since Christmas, and there didn’t seem to be a day when Alex didn’t pin me down and fuck me through the mattress, either in the morning when we first woke up or in the evening before we fell asleep. It wasn’t unusual for me to wake up with bite marks and hickeys covering my chest and abs. I hadn’t returned the favor, unsure if he wanted that or not, but I wasn’t about to complain. I loved having him inside me. Alex also seemed to enjoy watching me squirm when he pinned my hands above my head so I couldn’t touch my cock while he fucked me. It frustrated and excited me at the same time.

  Alex’s sexual experience appeared to outstrip mine, and I finally asked him how he knew so much about anal sex. I’d wanted to ask for a while, but I was afraid of the answer. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me.

  “You remember Linda?” Alex said when I asked him. I must have had a blank expression on my face. “I dated her for nearly six months. You used to make fun of her name, Linda the Law Student?”

  “You dated her? I thought she was a study partner for some class you had together.” What classes an economics major and a prelaw student had together, though, I had no idea. Alex raised an eyebrow. “What? It’s not my fault I don’t remember your girlfriends. You never told me anything, no matter how much I badgered you for the details.”

  “True. Some things are private. Anyway, Linda wasn’t like any other girl I met. She only let me fuck her pussy once and that was on our first night together.” I cringed inwardly hearing Alex talk like that; it wasn’t like him to be so crass. Then again, the Alex I used to know wasn’t gay either. “After that first night, she insisted I fuck her in the ass instead.”

  I was gobsmacked. “Seriously? Girls do that?”

  “I don’t know about other girls, certainly no other girl I’ve been with. But Linda loved it, said she couldn’t get off by straight sex. But a girl’s body is different; you and I have the advantage of a prostate.” Alex waggled his eyebrows.

  Which brought me to another point. “And how did you know how to find mine? I knew I had one, but I had no idea where to find it. Or how it felt.”

  “Calvin,” Alex said simply.

  “What?” I nearly ran off the road. “Maybe we shouldn’t be having this conversation while I’m driving,” I muttered to myself.

  “Keep going; it’s not that bad, I don’t think.” Alex sighed. “Calvin knows about us.”

  “What?” I managed to keep the steering wheel straight that time, sort of. “Who else knows?” My voice came out a little panicky, even to my ears. How did I feel about people finding out Alex was fucking me every day? I was pretty sure I was gay, but I hadn’t thought to tell anyone because no one was around to tell. What would happen when we got home? Would we come out to our families? Move in together? Break up? Forget everything that happened and just be best friends again? I had all these questions again whizzing through my brain and I only had an answer for one of them. I didn’t want to be just friends.

  “No one. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to out you, but I needed to talk to someone about how I was feeling. He’s the only gay guy I know, so I confided in him. He’s helped me come to terms with… how I feel about you.”

  I swallowed audibly and looked at him for as long as the road would allow.

  “How do you feel about me?” That sounded casual, right?

  “I love you. You’re my best friend.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  February 4th

  Hobbs, New Mexico

  “DO WE really need these?” Alex asked, holding up a packet of condoms. We’d left Colorado and Utah behind and were now in New Mexico. Our aim was to not see snow for the entire year, but we’d failed epically. We were heading more south now and attempting to leave the ice behind. Although Hobbs was still quite cold, it hadn’t snowed there for a while. It wasn’t a big town, but it wasn’t the backwoods either. There was a small university and, on the opposite side of the highway, a golf course. So far we’d seen a Walmart Supercenter and a mall, but we hadn’t ventured off the main road into town. After stopping at IHOP for lunch, we drove to Walgreens to pick up a few supplies.

  I looked at the packet of Trojans in his hand. “Yes. And get the bigger lube.” Lube didn’t last as long as you’d think. “Oh, and we need more wet wipes.”

  “Don’t you trust me?” Alex asked, hurt coloring his tone.

  “What? Of course I trust you. That’s a stupid question.” I started walking down the other aisle, hoping he’d drop it.

  He didn’t.

  “So why do we need to use them? I’ve never had sex without them, not once.” His eyes went wide. “What? Are you…?” Alex didn’t finish his sentence.

  I flexed my fingers, trying to release the tension. “Buy the fucking condoms, Alex. I’m not talking about this here,” I hissed, walking out of the store and leaving him to pay. He’d want the receipt anyway.

  I’d thought this conversation would have happened before now, but I was still dreading it. Thinking back to that idiotic time during our junior year gave me the shivers and I knew I’d have to fess up to Alex sooner or later.

  We walked back to Maude in uneasy silence. It wasn’t until we stopped for the night and crawled into bed after dinner that Alex brought it up again.

  “So,” he said, running a finger down my arm.

  “So, what?” I really didn’t want to go there. Shame didn’t sit comfortably with me.

  “You know what. Now spill.”

  Dammit. I took a deep breath as I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. “Fine. Remember when we were juniors and I went to that party at Pi Kappa Phi? You didn’t come with me because you wanted to study for finals.”

  “Yeah, I said you needed to study too, but you blew me off. I didn’t see you for two days.”

  “Yeah, well, I woke up naked the next morning, not knowing where I was, with a killer headache and dried come all over my dick. To this day, I have no idea who it was or how it happened. My mind is still a complete blank.” Remembered shame washed over me and my cheeks burned.

  “Oh.” That one little word held a heaviness to it I didn’t like. “Are you…? Have you been… tested?”

  “Fuck, yes. I literally ran to the clinic the next day and was shitting myself for two weeks until the tests came back. I’ve used condoms ever since. Waking up like that scared the shit out of me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I knew something was up when you avoided me for days. I
thought it was me, you asshole.” Alex punched me in the arm, a relieved yet pissed-off look on his face.

  “Ow. I was ashamed, all right? I didn’t want you to know how stupid I was to get that drunk. Why do you think I insisted you come to every party after that? I knew you’d cut me off when I had too much and take me home. I was safe with you.”

  Alex’s features softened. “You are safe with me.”

  I leaned in and cupped his cheeks, brushing my lips softly over his. “I know.”

  Alex searched my eyes. “And you’re not stupid. You’re the bravest man I know. You saved my life.” I shuddered at the memory, the fear resurfacing every time we had to pass through a major city.

  “You would’ve done the same thing.”

  “I was scared shitless.”

  I kissed him again. “I was scared too, and we were both a little shaken. It’s over now, though, and we’re both safe. Together.”

  We lay together for a while in comfortable silence, Alex’s heartbeat in my ear lulling me to sleep.

  “We could go back to town, to the clinic to get tested if you wanted. Together.” Alex’s voice vibrated through his chest in a deep baritone.

  “I’d like that.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  February 6th

  San Antonio, Texas

  ALEX AND I were walking around the Alamo after finishing a guided tour. It was late afternoon. We couldn’t avoid all the big cities—some of the best places to see were in the most populated areas—and we couldn’t travel through Texas without seeing one of the most significant places in American history.

  We wandered around the stone mission, following a path that wound its way under the shade of some large trees, sunlight peeking through with every sway of the overhead branches in the breeze. It was a clear day but the light wind held a chill to it and I clutched my jacket to me. Alex and I didn’t hold hands as we walked but we were close to each other, our shoulders brushing. There weren’t many people around this time of the afternoon. The last tour had just finished and we were slowly making our way back to Maude.

  “We’ve got two days to get to Beaumont to help Elsie May’s cousin. How far is it?” I asked as we ambled along the path. This was the part I enjoyed most about the trip: the quiet, content feeling I had whenever Alex was with me. We’d always been comfortable around each other, but now it was different, more peaceful. We never felt the need to fill the silence.

  Alex turned and smiled at me as we exited the Alamo into the parking lot. “If we drove straight through it would take about five hours, but I want to spend some time in Galveston, maybe stay there tomorrow night. Then it would only be a couple hours’ drive to get to Beaumont.”

  We climbed into Maude and said our goodbyes to San Antonio, or we thought we did. We’d only been driving about fifteen minutes as we headed toward our next RV site when I noticed a warning light come on. I pointed at it while trying to keep my eyes on the road. “What does this mean?”

  Alex leaned over to take a look. “Temperature’s up. Looks like we’ve got a problem.”

  Just as he finished talking, white smoke started coming from the radiator at the front of Maude.

  “Shit!” Alex pointed to a garage up ahead, its neon lights still lit this late in the afternoon. “Pull over there. Hopefully someone’s around who can help. If not, we’ll have to call AAA.”

  Luck was on our side. Not only was someone still at the auto shop, but the guy seemed overjoyed to see us. We climbed out of Maude as a man who appeared to be in his late fifties approached, wiping his blackened hands on his coveralls.

  “This is a 1983 VW Diesel Westfalia Vanagon. Water-cooled, not like the earlier air-cooled ones, but it seems the water-cooled version isn’t working too well for you right now.” He laughed at his joke and it took all my effort not to roll my eyes. If our friendly mechanic was in his fifties, he’d probably know a lot about older cars. I looked at Alex, who shrugged. I put on my best happy face and hoped this guy could help us.

  “Sure is,” Alex said with a smile, like he knew what the guy was talking about. “Any chance you’d be able to help us out? A warning light came on, then the temperature spiked. Before we knew it, smoke was coming out.”

  “Yeah, it’s weird, isn’t it? The engine is in the back of the vehicle, yet the radiator is in the front. Doesn’t really make sense, but it works. For the most part.” He chuckled. “Looks like you’ve got a busted hose. Let me grab a couple of tools and I’ll have a look for you.”

  Our friendly mechanic’s name was Mike and he loved to work on older cars, stating it was a simpler time, not like today’s cars where you needed a computer degree to be able to figure out what was wrong with them. As he worked, he told us stories about various road trips he’d taken with his wife and kids. Alex and I looked on, feeling helpless and a little sad for Maude. She’d done really well so far.

  Mike moved from the front of the van to the rear and started looking through the engine. It wasn’t long until we heard his disembodied voice.

  “Ah, here’s your problem. You’ve got yourself a split hose and the water pump failed.” Alex and I both sighed in relief as Mike sounded triumphant.

  “Can you fix it?”

  “Not today.” He stood and looked at his watch.

  My relief turned to disappointment. “Damn.”

  “Sorry, boys. It’s getting late and I was supposed to be home half an hour ago. I need to find out why the pump failed. It could be from the split hose or a problem with the thermostat or the radiator. Worst case is a blown head gasket. Best case, you need to replace the hose, the pump, and the thermostat housing. Gotta make sure it hasn’t had any impact on the heads, which is usually the problem with the Vanagons. The engine looks really good, though, so I hope for your sake it’s not the gasket. But even without any other problems, I’ll need to remove and probably replace the timing belt as well.”

  “No point calling the AAA, is there?” I asked.

  “All they’ll do is give you a tow here or to some other mechanic who may or may not know that much about older cars. Especially these ones. There’s no temporary fix to this and you’re already here.”

  “Damn.” I looked at Alex. “Where are we going to stay?”

  “You boys sleepin’ in the van?” Mike asked.

  Alex nodded. “Yes, we’re on a road trip. Is there a cheap hotel nearby?”

  “Tell you what. Let’s push her ’round back. The yard is fenced and secure and you can stay the night in the van. We’ll talk in the morning about what the next step is. I’ve got the right hose, so that’s not a problem, but I’ll need to call my parts guy in Houston first thing and see how soon I can get a new pump here.”

  ALEX AND I spent an uneasy night in Maude in the small, contained yard of Mike the mechanic. We were surrounded by spare tires, large metal drums holding who-knew-what, and an assortment of old cars and discarded parts. I’m glad we weren’t staying inside the shop; the smell outside was bad enough.

  The next morning, Alex and I went to the Starbucks on the corner for breakfast while Mike had a good look at Maude and called his guy in Houston. It wasn’t looking good for us, though, as even if he could get the parts today and get it fixed, we still had a five-hour drive ahead of us.

  “I need to call Jed in Beaumont. We’re supposed to be there tomorrow morning to help out.” Alex pulled out his phone and brought up the contact Elsie May had given him all those months ago.

  Alex was apologizing to Jed over the phone, but I wasn’t really listening until I heard him say something about a Greyhound bus.

  “What?” I mouthed at him.

  Alex waved his hand at me to shut up and continued talking into the phone. “Uh-huh. I understand, Jed. We don’t want to put you out either and we committed to this months ago. I know the timing is tight, but I’ll check on the Greyhound schedule and get back to you about when I can be out there. If the van can’t be fixed today, which is looking unlikely, I’ll be o
n the next bus.” A pause, then, “Sure. And someone will be there waiting to take me to your ranch? Yes… Sure, we can work that. Josh can stay here in San Antonio, then come join me once the van’s fixed. Okay. Thanks, Jed. I’ll call you back soon.”

  What? I’m staying here? I raised an eyebrow. “Care to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Uh… Jed’s in a real tight spot and he needs one of us there ASAP. They’re shorthanded and even though we don’t have any experience, anything we can do is going to be a big help. At first, Elsie May said it would just be one of us to fill in for Craig, but Jed was actually going to hire both of us when he realized how much work there was to do. He needs one of us, at least.”

  “Okay. We committed to it and we don’t want to let him down, but… I don’t like the idea of you going by yourself.”

  “I’m a big boy, Josh, and it will only be for a few days until Maude’s fixed and you can join me. We need to see what Mike says first before we start planning anything else.”

  “But…” I started.

  “But what?”

  “You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”

  Alex crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. A smirk spread across his features. “Yes, yes I am.”

  “I’ll miss you,” I mumbled.

  “See? That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

  I grumbled at him as we walked back to Mike’s to receive the news.

  And it was bad.

  Not bad as in your head gasket’s blown bad, but as in Houston parts guy doesn’t have any water pumps in stock and there’s none available in Texas at the moment bad.

  “Johnny’s ordered a pump from his guy in California and is getting it shipped straight here, but it’s going to take a few days,” Mike told us as he sat in his office. He had just ended the call to Houston. “Today’s Thursday so the earliest it will be here is Monday, but most likely not till Tuesday. Then I’ll install it and have you on the road again by Wednesday afternoon.”