June

by Erik Schubach

  Then we were all rendered speechless as we looked out over the waters to the city. I smiled as Vanessa put her head on my shoulder. Kat discreetly brought Fran over to the other side to look at the lights of Jersey City.

  Vanessa looked over at me with a sad smile, then back at New York and said quietly, “I'm scared June.”

  I nodded and pulled her in closer. “I know.” We just sat there for a few minutes, I ignored the silent shudders of her sobs as she clung to me. I couldn't imagine her fear, voluntarily going in for treatment of a disease that was thrust upon her by fate. I couldn't help her, and that fact made me feel useless. She was braver than me, I don't know if I could do it, but I could be here for her and her sister. It wasn't much, but that was the one thing I could do.

  After a bit, she wiped her face then smiled back at me. Then whispered to her left like she was listening to something. She returned he gaze back to me. “You really are real aren't you?”

  I shrugged with a conspiratorial smile. “I'd like to think that.”

  She gently brushed some hair out of my face, her fingers lingering. Then she surprised me and leaned in and gave me a whispering kiss on the lips before she turned away and smiled out at the city. Leaving me stunned and speechless and happy. Her smiling lips said, “No promises. I don't know what the real me thinks yet.” I nodded and she cuddled back in. “Brr.”

  Chapter 14 – Self Admission

  That night, after Fran and Kat, retired to their rooms Vanessa and I fell asleep on the couch under a blanket. She didn't want to stop our contact, oddly, she kept checking with her hand to make sure I was really there I think. I was fine with that because I didn't believe this mythical creature was real either. I'd cuddle with her any day.

  In the morning, she was extremely nervous and that was wreaking havoc with her symptoms. She was almost as erratic as she had been before the seventy-two hour hold. We all prepared for the day. I could tell Fran was just as afraid as Vanessa.

  After Vanessa got dressed in some more of my clothes and we had eggs, hash-browns, and toast, we spoke with Frank and printed out some more forms and signed them then faxed them to the appropriate places. Frank gave me an address to send the originals to. He mentioned that a social worker would have to speak with me, but it was just a formality since the primary guardian had signed the papers. I took a deep breath. Francine was now my ward. God, up until that second I was confident, but now I was responsible for another human being. Please lord, don't let me fuck this up.

  Before long we went off into town to gather the things Vanessa would need for the program. First stop was getting her five changes of clothes. We had fun shopping, she was a little put out that I was buying everything. She hated feeling like she was taking charity, I think it hurt her pride. Until she remembered something and had Fran hand over all of their ill gotten booty they had been saving up for her meds, to me. I felt weird about it, it was all stolen money, so I stuffed it into the cup of a homeless man we passed.

  We had such a great time, chatting, laughing and having a blast. We had everything on the list in short order, even picking up some new clothes for Fran. It was like we were all avoiding it, but we finally stopped for lunch at the Golden Arches. Not much was said we just took in each others company, none of us wanting to talk about what was coming next.

  Finally, we stopped at Bellevue. We had to circle the block a few times to get a spot to park. I thought Vanessa was going to squeeze my fingers off as we marched to the front door. Fran was holding her other hand in a show of solidarity for her sister, there was already tears welling up in Small Fry's eyes. Kat followed behind, I knew why. Well, a couple reasons, she was Vanessa's friend now, and she wanted to be there for Fran.

  We walked up to the front desk and I gave a wistful smile. It was Michelle behind the desk. For the life of me, I can't figure out that woman's hours. It is like she switches shifts every other day or something. Vanessa turned away and yanked her hand from me and started violently striking her head and mumbling something.

  I stepped in front of her and locked my eyes onto her crystal blues. I smiled and she relaxed a little then nodded and turned back to the desk. Her voice was raw and cracking, “I'd... I'd like to admit myself. For the McIntyre program. I... I want to get better.”

  Michelle had nothing but a caring smile for my girl as she nodded while Vanessa took the paperwork from her purple backpack and slid them over. The nurse looked at the paperwork then said, “I'll have an orderly down in a minute to escort you in if you want to wait in the waiting area.” Then she smiled at Vanessa, “You're doing the right thing hon.”

  Vanessa nodded woodenly and grabbed my and Fran's hands again and we went to the waiting area. We didn't get a chance to talk because a minute later the orderly walked in with a clipboard and asked the group, “Vanessa Brighton?”

  She looked at her sister and her eyes creased, she was trying to be brave. The two sisters hugged, Vanessa whispered to her, “I love you so much little sis. Be strong for me, I'll be out soon.” Fran nodded and mewled out that she loved her too.

  Then Vanessa gave Kat a quick hug and then said, “Thanks for everything you've done for Frannie.”

  Kat smiled and said softly, “My pleasure. See you soon.” Then she put her hand out and Fran took it.

  They stepped aside and Vanessa tilted her head at me. “She's my baby sister.” I nodded. “Take care of her.”

  Then she hugged me tightly, I almost couldn't breathe. When she let go, she looked into my eyes and just said in wonder, “The music...” Then she kissed my cheek tenderly, lingering a bit then whispered lowly, “Don't let Fran come here to see me. I don't want her to see me like this.”

  I held her at arm's length and scolded, “I'll do no such thing, that would break her. Shes stronger than you know, and so are you Nessie.” I finally had a nickname for the wonderful, impossible creature standing before me.

  I kissed her cheek this time and said firmly, “We'll see you soon. I'm proud of you.”

  She said shyly, “Ok J-dub.” I blinked, she had almost used my preferred nickname but put her own spin on it.

  Fran broke loose from Kat and she gave her sister on last hug before Vanessa went with the orderly. God, the next week was going to be hell. They didn't allow visitors for people in the program for the first week of evaluations. My stupid eyes were malfunctioning, all watery and junk. I wiped my eyes and then smiled at Fran and said, “Let's get to your school and get any makeup assignments you'll need for missing today, Small Fry.” She nodded and we left the mental health center.

  Fran seemed to be lost the rest of the day, quiet and introverted, the opposite of her normal character. I could understand, I felt off too without Vanessa being around, and not being able to visit.

  I called Lizzie and chatted a bit, filling her in on things and making her promise not to tell our moms... again. She cheered me up in no time.

  We sat on the couch after Fran did her makeup homework while Kat got ready for work. As she was leaving, Kat nudged her eyes from me to the young girl. I nodded once then smiled, signing “Yeah yeah, I'll get out of my head and keep her mind off it.” She winked and shut the door.

  I glanced at the young lady, “Hey Small Fry, wanna help me out a bit?” She looked up at me as I picked up my iPad from the coffee table as I continued, “My London team sent me a bunch of recordings from various underground bands there. I need to determine which ones I should start scouting to see if they are a fit for the London Harmony family when we kick the doors open this fall.”

  She blinked at me. “But I'm just a kid.”

  I grinned. “You like music?” She nodded and I said, “Then you are exactly what we need. An impartial ear. Just tell me what you like and don't like. Then any that overlap my opinions we'll throw in the maybe pile. If we can't come to a consensus on a band then, they get thrown out.”

  We burrowed into the couch and listened to the recordings. At one point, she stopped us and asked, “S
o you already have a team in London? What about Van?”

  I chuckled. “By 'My London team', I mean my operations and creative manager at London Harmony, Zilrita Marx. One of my oldest friends. She's overseeing construction for me over there. I gave her a slush fund to pay Uni students to record bands in the underground music scene there. That's what we are listening to.”

  She snorted and asked, “So a one woman team then?”

  I grinned. “Pretty much. I mean, we do have sound engineers and most of the other staff already lined up. I just need real scouts or I'll be out on the London streets by myself hunting down talent.”

  She tilted her head. “Aren't there lots of music scouts out there?”

  I nodded. “Yes, but I'm after a specific sound for the studio that only the best underground bands have. So from the very beginning, I knew I needed that mysterious Scratch from New York.” This made her smile hugely, then I finished, “Imagine my surprise when 'he' wound up being Nessie.”

  She surprised me with a hug then doubled down listening to the music with me. Her face suddenly determined and serious.

  Some of the music made my ears bleed, but there were a couple bands out of almost thirty that we listened to that had promise. The Tubes and Velvet Fire. Fran was explaining to me why she preferred Velvet Fire over the Tubes. I was a little shocked at the points she brought up, she sounded so much like Vanessa. She saw the layers beneath the music and I had to blink a couple times when she mentioned some of the subtle aspects that only a trained musician would be able to pick out. Damn, too bad she is too young to work and hit raves, otherwise I'd hire her too!

  I looked at the time, it was just about seven and Kat would be home soon. I turned off the iPad. “You have an awesome ear and great insight Small Fry.” Then I glanced back at the kitchen. “We should call it a day, Kat will be home soon, what do you say we take care of dinner tonight? She deserves a rest from mothering both of us.”

  She nodded then I couldn't get her to calm down from her giggle fit after I pulled out my cell and ordered up pizza. “Hey! It's not that funny!”

  She was almost in tears. “Yes, yes it is. Do you even know how to cook?” Which just got me giggling too.

  Kathleen walked in to see us in all our giggling glory. She smiled hugely at us as I wiped happy tears from my eyes. She asked, “What has you two so happy?”

  Fran calmed herself and spoke in a voice strained with humor, “June is making dinner tonight.”

  Without missing a single beat, Kat responded, “Oh, ordering pizza or Chinese?”

  Fran blurted, “Pizza!” The two of them burst into laughter.

  I crossed my arms petulantly and blurted out, “It isn't that funny!” They didn't listen.

  Chapter 15 – Lizzy the Lizard

  The next day Kat made breakfast for Fran before heading to work, I brought Small Fry to school in a cab. On the way there, I handed her some cash, “For lunch.” Then asked, “Are you attached to your school and friends or did you want to transfer to a school closer to Kat's until Vanessa is discharged?”

  She shrugged. “A school is a school. I mostly keep to myself and don't let anyone in. It isn't good to make friends when you don't know if you'll still be in the area next week. I mean, Vannie always made sure to try to keep us in the same area. But you can never be sure on the street.” She said it with such detachment, like it was a simple fact. It almost broke my heart. I just instinctively hugged her.

  I took a deep breath. “Well we'll proceed according to your sister's wishes then.” I paused then caught her eyes and said seriously, “Don't shut people out because of your circumstances though. Good friends can surprise you and in some cases be there for you your entire life, time or distance be damned.”

  She tilted her head and asked, “Like Kat?”

  I nodded. “Just like Kat. It doesn't matter that the entire continent divided us and we hadn't seen each other for months. She took me in when she heard I was coming to town, without hesitation, and we picked up our conversations just like we saw each other yesterday.”

  Then I smiled. “So that's why it is always a good idea to let people in, forge new friendships, you never know when you might find a Kat of your own and start forming your own Fran's Eight.”

  She thought for a moment, a serious look on her face. I don't ever remember being so serious, or grown up at her age. Maybe living on the streets has matured her too quickly, made her too cynical for her age. She glanced back at me as the cab stopped in front of her school, nodded then smiled and said as she jumped out of the cab, “I'll take it under advisement.”

  I yelled after her, “A little young to be using big words like that.” I heard her giggle as she walked off. I couldn't suppress a smile. I couldn't help it, I called Lizzie on the way back to Kathleen's. Fran always reminded me of my baby sis. It went to voice-mail so I just sighed and thought about her upcoming marriage to Jeremy this winter. I liked the guy, he treated her like a princess so I guess I'll let him live... for now.

  I remember the first time she brought him home for Christmas a couple years back. I don't know why, but my eyes fell on the salad tongs on the counter. I felt like poking him in the gut with them and interrogating him about his intentions with my baby sis, but I refrained. I mean, what kind of person pokes people with salad tongs?

  When I got back to Kat's, I sat in silence. Hmmm... I was restless. All I wanted to do was to visit Vanessa, but I couldn't until the next Tuesday! So I buried myself in my work. I spent an hour on the phone with Zil. Some local zoning codes were throwing a monkey wrench into a couple permits and inspections, but she already had Frank on it. I grinned, I had learned how intelligent this woman was back in college, and knew she was the right choice to be my operations manager, as well as my creative manager. Her commercial art skills were in the stratosphere, she reminded me a lot of Kylee Nelson, who runs Cornfed Potatoes back in Seattle, the mix of that woman's skills are off the rails.

  My alarm chimed a bit later, it was already time to pick up Fran. For how slow things started out on my own, the day had just shot by! I picked her up at the school and she sighed out, “You don't have to drop me off and pick me up every day. I'm a big girl you know. I'm almost in high school.” I couldn't suppress my smile, “I know, but I like to. Unless I'm embarrassing you at school, I can have the cab park a block away and you can walk in.”

  She made a frustrated sound but then just exhaled with a little smile. “You're almost as bad as Vannie.” Then her smile disappeared. “Do you think she's ok? I'm... I'm sort of afraid.”

  I nodded. “She's strong, she'll do great. Then before you know it, she'll be back with you.”

  She tilted her head. “Do you think she's scared too?”

  I nodded. “Yes I do. However, I also know how much she wants to get better.” I looked at her, she was looking down, playing with her fingers. I said gently, “Hey, this disease does not define her. It may make things hard at times, but that's all it is, just a disease. It doesn't change who she is.”

  She nodded then put on a brave face. “You can barely even tell, when she's on her meds. She's the strongest person I know.” I nodded back then we changed the subject to school.

  She sat down at the kitchen table to do her homework with some instant hot chocolate. Who says I can't cook?

  When she was finished, we both sat down to 'work' with the recordings just as the doorbell rang. I set the iPad down and hopped up off the couch and made my way to the door. I opened the door just to be almost deafened by a squeal as I was lifted off the ground in a tight hug. I blurted out, “Twiggy!?”

  She set me down as she saw Fran walking up with a silly grin on her face. My sister settled down to an almost human level of restraint and grinned at her. I said, “Small Fry, this is my baby sister, Lizzie. Twiggy, this is Francine, Scratch's little sister.”

  My sister stuck out her hand and enthusiastically shook her hand. Fran looked between Liz and me. “She's so... tall! You two look
nothing alike.”

  My sister just chuckled. “Well back when I was tiny in Puerto Rico, I was just chillin' in my crib when I saw this babyless family. I thought, hey, that's just sad, so I adopted them. I'm just awesome that way.”

  This elicited a startled laugh from Fran that sounded a lot like her sisters, just not as high pitched. She shook her head. “Yup, she's your sister all right JW.”

  I gave Liz another hug and I dragged her over to the couch and had her sit as Fran dragged her suitcase in and shut the door. I asked, “What are you doing here?” as I headed to the kitchen to get her some coffee with a single sugar cube, the way she likes it.

  She shrugged. “You sounded kind of like you were in emotional turmoil on the phone. So I thought I'd fly out to lend a hand for a week until you can visit with Vanessa. Besides, there are sooo many people I need to talk to here in New York to get the true story of June's Eight since you won't ever talk about your exploits.”

  I returned with a cup of coffee for her, shaking my head as I handed it to her. “I have no clue why I put up with you baby sis.”

  She just gave me her puppydog eyes and spoke like a little girl, “Because you love me?”

  I chuckled and shook my head slowly as I admitted, “Yeah, that would be it.”

  Then Small Fry chimed in, “Let me know what you find out. I'm over curious if all the rumors are true.”

  Twiggy winked at the girl. “Knowing my big sis, every single one is true. Heck in my senior year there was this one time that she showed up when there was big trouble with the...”

  I cut her off quickly. That one I was sort of embarrassed about. “You didn't fly across country to help spread unsubstantiated rumors.”

  She grinned like an evil, evil wench. “Unsubstantiated? But I was there.” She showed mercy though and then said, “Right. Fine. So what do you guys do for fun around here?”