arbitrate (daynight)

by Thomason, Megan

  Jax looked deep in thought when he said, “I know I’m a poor substitute for my brother, but I hope you’re at least enjoying the break from Thera.”

  I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Jax, I couldn’t do any of this without you. You are my rock. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else right now.” I took his hand and put it on my belly, so he could feel the babies moving. The little acrobats always had a show going with body parts pushing outward. “One of these precious little babies is yours, and so, I hate to break it to you, but you are kind of stuck with us.”

  “More like you are all stuck with me.”

  I gave him a crooked smile. “I could think of worse things…if I try hard enough.”

  The next morning I was fully re-energized, and we went island hopping by ferry. We returned to San Juan Island at sunset, and the view was spectacular as we sat on the deck for the entire ride. Jax attended to my sore, swollen feet when we returned.

  The rain hit the following day. Jax held an umbrella overhead as I waddled beside him down to the local movie theatre. I was wide-awake for the action flick we watched (perhaps because he kept throwing popcorn at me) but fell asleep on Jax’s shoulder during the romantic comedy.

  We moved on the next day to Iowa. It wasn’t until we got to the mountains of Utah that I heard the words that I never wanted to hear.

  “A guy followed me out of the grocery store, and I had to ditch him. They know we are here.”

  Present

  Ethan and I arrive in Los Angeles the night before Election Tuesday. We have adjoining rooms at the hotel where the election party is due to be held. After a late dinner, I take a sleeping pill to force myself to adapt to the time change and sleep a fitful seven hours—thankfully terror free.

  The next day, he takes me to Rodeo Drive to shop for an appropriate dress for the celebration. I find a pretty navy-blue, red-belted, three-quarter length gown fit for a red, white, and blue ball and try it on. The front has a scoop neck, the back plunges to just above my bra line, and there’s a slit up the side that shows off some leg. It emphasizes my curves, but I’m worried that it might be a little much for a political event.

  I decide to test it out on Ethan—who is lounging in a chair just outside the dressing room. His eyes are fixated on his phone, and he’s furiously texting or typing something. I clear my throat to get his attention. “Will this work?”

  He stands and tosses his phone onto the chair. Then he walks over, shoves his hands in his pockets, and bites down on his lip. “Spin.”

  I pull my hair forward so that he’ll be able to tell me if the back is “too much” and slowly turn.

  When I’m back to facing him I say, “Well? What do you think?”

  A sly grin appears on his face, slowly spreading from right to left. “That depends…do you plan to wear your hair up or down?” He approaches and traces his finger along my neck. “If your hair is cascading down your back in those beautiful curls of yours, then I say this dress is perfect. However—” He gently pulls my hair up off my back and leans into my ear. His breathing is heavy. “—if you plan to wear your hair up, then I think this dress is a terrible idea. Bad things could happen…will happen.”

  “Really? Like what?” I flirt with my words but keep my face pointing forward. He’s so close that if I was to turn at all our lips would meet. And I don’t think I’m ready for that. If anything is going to happen with Ethan, it needs to happen in baby steps.

  His mouth moves towards me. I stay frozen as his lips hover over my skin, blowing warm breath along my neck. I shiver. “The same things I wanted to do to you after our Cleaving…that my ridiculous mother interrupted.”

  My breathing stops. I close my eyes. He still wants me. By the time I open my eyes, he has pulled away and is sitting back on the chair, typing away on his phone again. Was he just messing with me? I glare at him and stomp back to the dressing room to change.

  I buy the dress. But I decide to wear my hair down.

  We get to the main ballroom just as Henry’s making his acceptance speech. The networks called the election before the polls even closed on the West coast. If the projections are right, there hasn’t been as wide of an electoral vote victory since Ronald Reagan’s win in 1984. The popular vote currently has a 25.5% margin in favor of Henry. You fools.

  Ethan guides me through the crowd with his hand on the small of my back. A very pretty girl with mocha skin, dark eyes, and a stunning red dress smiles when she sees us. Scratch that—when she sees Ethan. She doesn’t even acknowledge my presence as she swiftly walks over, throws her arms around Ethan, and plants a full-on kiss on to him. With tongue.

  I’m not sure I have ever felt more awkward in my life. My eyes dart around the room, looking for anyone I might know to go talk to—or a hole I can crawl into.

  It seems to take quite a while, but Ethan does eventually pull back from the kiss. He’s looking between the girl and me with a bewildered look on his face.

  “There you are, love. I’m so sorry I’m late,” a voice bellows behind me. I have never been so happy to hear that voice in my life. I whirl around to face Jax and hope he can see the relief in my eyes. His dimples are on full display, and he looks absolutely stunning in a blue suit, white shirt, and red tie. He gives Ethan a disapproving look and then leans forward and kisses me.

  His lips barely brush against mine, but I can feel a strong electrical charge ripple from head to toe. I didn’t think it was even possible to feel so much with so little contact. And then it’s over.

  He winks at me and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers together. Ethan has frozen in place, his eyes shooting invisible missiles at Jax. I haven’t seen him so mad…well, since the last time he was mad, which was probably a couple nights ago. Yeah, it hasn’t been that long. “Ethan. Alexa.” Jax’s voice is chilly. “Ethan, you know Kira Donovan. But, Alexa, I’m not sure you’ve met her…or even heard about her. And Kira, this is Alexa Knight.”

  I look to see if any sign of recognition flashes across her eyes. But there is none. None. Ethan never told her about me. She speaks. “Oh hey, it’s nice to meet you, Kira. I didn’t know that Jax was with anyone.” Her tone makes it clear that she thinks it is a crime to be with Jax. He does like to annoy people. Alexa holds out her hand to shake mine, and I politely do so.

  Jax runs his hand along my hair and then moves my hair forward, exposing my back. He runs his hand along my bare skin. “You should have worn your hair up. This dress is lovely, as are you.”

  Ethan looks like he’s going to blow a gasket. Ironic, since he was just making out with Alexa in front of me a few short minutes ago. “Jax, why don’t we get a drink and let Ethan and his date spend some time together.”

  “Kira, can I talk to you for a second first?” Ethan asks.

  “No. Not now.” Maybe not ever. I ignore the furious stares Ethan is likely throwing my way and drag Jax to the very back of the room where it is quieter.

  “Thanks for saving me.”

  “You are welcome.”

  “You kissed me.”

  “That was not a kiss.”

  “How do you figure?”

  He backs me against the wall, pushes one of his legs between mine and presses his whole body against me. Every nerve ending is firing and my heart is slamming against the wall of my chest. I can’t speak, and I’m pretty sure Jax is responsible. His eyes are smoldering, and he’s doing nothing to conceal his lust.

  “Listen carefully, love. I will reiterate. That was not a kiss. You see, if I was to kiss the mother of my child…the woman I’ve shared a bed with for the last year…the girl I’ve seen at her very best and very worst…the beautiful young lady that fills my every thought and kindles my every desire…that would be a kiss that would go down in the record books. That kiss would claim her. It would be so all consuming, so mind-blowing, and so permanent that she’d be mine, and I’d be hers from that day forward. That kiss would be the first in a long, unbreakable chain of kisses from the
beginning until the end of time.”

  I think I may faint, wither, and die here on the spot if I don’t get that kiss. The thought’s devouring all other more rational thoughts—like that I’d come here with Ethan in an attempt to see if things could work with him. But then again, didn’t I think that was my only option at the time? That Jax didn’t want me?

  Jax continues. “Here’s the thing, love. I don’t share. I won’t share. I’m not capable of sharing. There will be no us until there is no him. You need to decide whether he is your past or your future. Because I know a split heart when I see it. I know when I’m only being given a fraction of all that’s available. You can’t hide doubt from me. You can’t hide certainty from me either.”

  His hand snakes behind my neck. He pulls me closer and his words prickle my ear. “I will know when and if that kiss can be delivered. Have I made myself clear on the matter?”

  I nod even though my brain’s well behind my body in understanding his message. Jax likes me in a non-friend way? Then why’d he run off when I had that dream?

  He presses even harder into me, his cheek against mine, “Does this feel like friendship to you?”

  I gently shake my head. The thoughts I’ve been having lately, and even more so now, are way out of friend territory. He whispers, “You have a creative mind, as do I. I’ve been trying so hard to be good and to give you time, but you’re making it more and more difficult. And then tonight—when I saw Ethan with Alexa, and it was obvious he hadn’t told her about you—I could no longer stay silent. I don’t even remotely deserve you, but I can’t resist you either.”

  He releases me from his spell. If he didn’t have me trapped against the wall, I’d melt into a puddle. His lips are as close to mine as possible without actually touching. A piece of paper would have trouble fitting through the space. He moves his head that last fraction of an inch, and his lips brush against mine once again, this time trailing up to my ear and down my neck.

  “Still not a kiss, love. There are so many ways to not give a kiss and still make one’s point. But this is a little too public a place to help you understand that. So let’s go mingle. I’m worried trouble is afoot, so stay close and be alert.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Ethan

  Earlier that evening

  This day has been perfect. I plan to kiss Kira tonight after the party. I teased her a little bit earlier when she was trying on dresses so that she’d be thinking about it and wondering when and if it would happen.

  I knock on the door between our rooms to see if she’s ready to head down to the party. She’s wearing her hair down, as if that’s a real deterrent.

  “You look stunning.”

  “Thanks. You clean up pretty well yourself.” I had on a classic blue suit with a red, white, and blue tie.

  “Well, shall we? I’m sure Henry will be giving his self-congratulatory speech any time now.” I offer her the crook of my arm, and we walk arm in arm to the elevator. My eyes gravitate to her, and she’s sneaking glances at me too. For the first time since we reunited, I think we might actually have a shot of making things work. Kira, Zander, and I could actually be a family.

  The ballroom is packed, so I put my hand on the small of Kira’s back and lead her through the crowd. All eyes are on Henry as he triumphantly and, less-than-humbly, accepts the will of the American people. The same will he manipulated at every turn.

  Henry’s beaming at the microphone. “I’m honored to lead this great nation during these troubling times.” Troubling times that Brad Darcton, fellow SCI member, created.

  “I will do everything within my power to restore our great nation to the principles and ideals of our founding fathers. We as a nation have strayed, but it is not too late to mend our ways and vanquish our shortcomings.” Little does the public know that when a Band-Aid is required, Henry will use major surgery. And any “shortcomings” will be handled with blunt-force trauma rather than a gentle guiding hand.

  “I am so proud of the great people of this country. You answered the call to serve—to Stand Up for what you believe. You Stood Up for more security, better education, better healthcare, and zero unemployment. You Stood Up and you were heard. And now we, your humble elected officials, will deliver to you everything needed for a secure, healthy, educated, and employed people.” All delivered to your doorstep, SCI-style. Conform to our every demand and you’ll live. Don’t, and we’ll shove you in an oven and use you to fight wars on our sister planet. But wherever you are, we’ll control you. That’s a promise you can take to the bank.

  I’m so caught up listening to Henry’s deceiving words that I’m caught unaware as worlds collide. I stop and consider the threat to my very existence and happiness. Alexa’s here. Of course she’s here. I’m so stupid. I haven’t told her about Kira. All Alexa knows is that I lost a girl that I loved. I never used Kira’s name because then it would have felt like I was cheating on her memory, defiling her.

  I wait too long to escape the confrontation. Alexa closes the distance, throws her arms around me, and kisses me long and hard, more passionately than she ever has before. It has been a while since I’ve seen her. She has probably been missing me, waiting for me to come back, wondering if I was okay while I’ve been getting to know my son and trying to woo back my ex-Cleave.

  Kira’s watching, you idiot. I pull back from the kiss. I don’t know what to do, how to handle this. I look back and forth between Alexa and Kira. I’ve screwed up so royally. Kira looks like she would pay any amount of money to disappear. I can’t blame her, given that I invited her here as my date, and the girlfriend I never broke things off with showed up and kissed me.

  “There you are, love. I’m so sorry I’m late.” Jax has shown up to bask in the afterglow of my most humiliating moment. He has given Kira a dimple-laden smile that says everything. I’m here to save you from that imbecile. I’d never disrespect you like he has. Just let me make you mine forever. He shoots me a look of utter disgust and then turns his attention back to her, leans forward and kisses her.

  The kiss takes Kira by surprise. I can tell in that moment that it’s the first time. And I can tell that she enjoyed it—really enjoyed it. Her entire body quivers with delight at the short-lived contact. When he pulls back he winks at her and grabs her hand. His signal is clear. You dug your own grave. She’s mine now. Back off.

  “Ethan. Alexa,” Jax’s greeting is cold. “Ethan, you know Kira Donovan. But, Alexa, I’m not sure you’ve met her…or even heard about her. And Kira, this is Alexa Knight.” Please do make it even more apparent that I screwed up, Jax. You are ever so helpful, as always.

  Kira studies Alexa to see if her name rings a bell. But of course it doesn’t. Last nail in the coffin.

  “Oh hey, it’s nice to meet you, Kira. I didn’t know that Jax was with anyone.” Alexa and Kira shake hands.

  Jax has his hands in Kira’s hair, which exposes her back. “You should have worn your hair up. This dress is lovely, as are you.” It’s another dig at me, I’m sure of it.

  I want to kill him. I wish I had done it when I had a chance. I long for the feel of metal in my hands, a trigger beneath my finger. He wants to steal my family from me.

  Kira says, “Jax, why don’t we get a drink and let Ethan and his date spend some time together.” She’s upset. Really upset.

  I have to explain myself. I can’t let her leave thinking that I wanted Alexa to kiss me. Sure, I hadn’t taken the time to come back and tell Alexa we were done, but it was because things had been so hectic on Thera. And because I wanted to make sure that Kira would give me a chance. “Kira, can I talk to you for a second first?”

  “No. Not now.” Her frigid expression says, “Not ever.”

  She walks away from me and doesn’t look back. Now Jax has his hand on the small of her back. I watch them walk all the way to the back of the room. They’re exchanging words, and then he presses against the wall. He’s making his pitch. I screwed up and Jax is running wit
h it. And from what I can tell, Kira’s running right alongside him.

  I curse under my breath. How did things go from me imagining all the ways I wanted to kiss Kira, to Alexa kissing me, to Jax kissing Kira in just a few minutes time?

  “You look upset, Ethan. I take it that you and Jax are still fighting? Do I need to have the hotel hide their crystal?”

  Oh, that’s right. Alexa is still here.

  “Yes, on the fighting with Jax, no, on the crystal-hiding.”

  “So what’s his deal with that girl?” Alexa asks.

  I deflect. “Good question.”

  “How long have they been together?”

  Five minutes. Or maybe I should count the stolen year. “I’m not sure.”

  Joshua walks up to us at that point. This is perhaps the first time I’ve actually been happy to see him. He looks like a mini-me of his dad in his black suit and SCI-logoed tie though he hasn’t bothered to tame or trim his messy curls.

  “Don’t you look like the perfect little heir to the CSC throne?” I mock. “Did your mommy dress you?”

  Disappointingly, Joshua doesn’t take the bait. “I’m here to party. And to Stand Up for what I believe and all that.” He chuckles and then looks appreciatively at Alexa, running a hand down her arm. “Hey gorgeous, who dressed you? You are looking mighty fine tonight. I love the necklace.”

  Alexa fidgets with the hefty necklace after he mentions it. It looks like it might weigh a few pounds. Personally I think she should have gone without it. Her red dress alone makes a plenty bold statement without the extra bling. “I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself, Joshua.”

  “Son, a word?” Brad taps me on the shoulder. Could this night get any worse…?

  I follow him over to a relatively quiet area at the back of the crowd. He is nursing a Scotch and seems to be more agitated than usual.