arbitrate (daynight)

by Thomason, Megan

  I press a kiss to each of his eyes. “I wanted to be whole when I told you how I felt about you. I was so broken. You deserved better.”

  “You don’t need to ever change for me, love. I’ll take you however I can have you as long as I get all of you, forever. Because every single piece of you, broken or not, makes you you and is precious to me.”

  Jax lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around him. In a flash, we’re gone. A moment later, we arrive at a small cabin. There’s a roaring fire in the fireplace, a lambskin rug on the floor, and a comfortable looking couch. Simple and homey.

  Jax pushes me up against the wall, thrusts his leg between mine, and presses his entire body against me. “Now, where were we?”

  “Something about you delivering a kiss that would be so all consuming, so mind-blowing, and so permanent that I’d be yours from that day forward. And I do believe it came with a promise that it would be the first kiss in a long, unbreakable chain of kisses from the beginning until the end of time.”

  “Wow, that sounds like a pretty high bar,” he jokes.

  “I’m ready for you to deliver.”

  He starts at my ear and whispers, “I love you. I don’t deserve you, but I love you.” He nibbles my lobe and then trails his lips towards mine until they’re brushing against them. Each of us applies a little more pressure and then we’re each teasing each other with our lips and tongues. Our bodies move closer together, our moans grow louder. I bury my hand in his hair, and he runs his up my back, pulling me towards him. Give and take, the perfect dance, ebbing and flowing and building in intensity.

  Every particle of my body is involved in the kiss.

  His kiss delivers as advertised.

  And I never want it to end.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Ethan

  My legs dangle over the side of a steep canyon, and I stare out at the ocean. I know I should get back to Thera to pay tribute to Blake in some way, but I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to face her.

  “Ethan.” Kira appears out of nowhere and sits down beside me. She leans her head on my shoulder. I look over and her face is stained with tears.

  “How’d you know where to find me? No one knew I was coming here.”

  “New trick. Long story. I needed to talk to you.”

  I know it’s over. It has been over for a while…ever since I kissed her at the Clean Slate Complex, I knew we were done. I could feel her affection, but it wasn’t a passion-filled love, a long-lasting love. It felt friendly. It felt final. Despite this, I still don’t think I can handle hearing the words spoken.

  In my mind I hear, “I’m sorry. I will always love you and want you in Zander’s life. But…”

  Arbiter?

  She shakes her head, and her long hair drapes over her face, shielding it from view. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you, but I trust you to keep it to yourself. I’m apparently a Genitor.”

  Like the scary kid?

  “Yeah. He’s my son. Or will be.”

  He looks just like Jax used to…except the eyes.

  “I’m so, so sorry. I…uh…wanted to return this.” She pulls out the ring I placed on her hand at our Cleaving ceremony and sets it in the palm of my hand. I’d taken mine off after her “death” and kept it on a chain around my neck. I reach up and unfasten my chain and add her ring to mine.

  I stare at the pair of rings and all they were supposed to symbolize but no longer do. “Can I?” I ask, pointing to the water crashing against the rocks far below. It seems fitting to “bury” the rings along with our relationship in the stormy sea.

  “Yes.” I throw them out as far as I can, and we watch them descend, the light catching at the perfect angle to simulate a fiery glow. Down in flames.

  “Tell me about Blake…about what happened. I wish I could have been there…done something.” I wish I could take his place.

  “Don’t say that. Never say that.”

  She tells me about his death and how she came to find out what she is. We talk and cry for hours, mourning Blake’s loss and the death of our relationship. There is so much we’d kept from each other. I had never taken the time to open up to her about my childhood. Nor had I let her tell me the details about everything that she endured during our yearlong break. It was hard for her to work through it all and regain her strength.

  Kira had no idea about the depths that I’d sunk to when I thought she’d died. I’d had to claw my way out, inch by inch. I give her the details of my journey to find Alexa and Joshua and tell her about their appearance at Henry’s inauguration. I explain that I’m conflicted over their actions. Should I hate them or admire them for taking a definitive stand against the SCI?

  We bare our souls to each other, and it is cathartic. It doesn’t fix us. Kira’s right. It’s too late for that. But I do think…down the road…that we will be able to be friends. To raise Zander as loving parents instead of broken, bitter ex-lovers.

  “When’s the funeral?” I finally ask.

  “There’s not really going to be one. Who would we invite? The SCI hated him. Brad used him. The Exilers and Bailey betrayed him. Besides the Exilers, his only friend was Joshua—and from what you tell me—he’s on the run. Blake’s parents are dead. His sister doesn’t remember him. And Madison died with her arms wrapped around him,” she responds before standing up and backing away from the edge of the cliff. Tears have returned to her eyes. “I’ve got someplace I need to go.”

  I clamp down hard on my lip and rub my fingernail across my thumb. Then I stand and walk towards her, stuffing my hands in my pockets, and rolling back on to my heels. “To Jax? Have you told him yet?”

  Her head turns from side to side and her cheeks flush with color. “No. I haven’t. I wanted to talk to you first. Are you going to be okay?”

  “I…just need time. I think that I need to do the same exercise in self-discovery you did. I’ve been in a bad place the last couple months. But I’ll recover…eventually. Don’t worry about me.”

  She wraps her arms around me and holds tight. I let my teardrops fall on her head as I fold in to her, returning the hug.

  “That night we met at the party…I really did think we’d have lots of children and grow old together,” I whisper.

  In my head she tells me, “Well, we did that first part right. And we’ll both be there for Zander as he grows old, so, in a sense, we’ll all grow old together.”

  So not the same.

  “No, I suppose it isn’t. Yet you’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that I know that you have great things coming. And for you, those things will be so much better than me.”

  Arbiters can’t lie. Can Genitors?

  She gives me a gentle shove and then pulls back and winks at me. “Great things, Ethan.”

  And then she’s gone.

  I return to sit at the cliff’s edge and ponder my life.

  How do I move on?

  The sun begins to set over the ocean, a chapter closing on this day just as a chapter is closing in my life. The sun will rise again tomorrow, and I’ve got to decide how I’m going to open the next chapter of my life. Do I keep my seat on the Ten? Help Henry? The Arbiters? Do I focus on building a relationship with my son? Will there ever be anyone else who can fill the giant hole Kira has left in my heart?

  Someone appears behind me, and—silly me—I hope Kira has changed her mind and come back. Of course, she isn’t there. She has gone off to be with my brother…forever. Instead, it is Daddy Christo. He looks like he has no desire to get close to the edge of a cliff, so I stand up and walk over to see what he wants. His glow has dulled, his eyes are sallow, and his cheeks pinched.

  “Your vacation time is up. You need to immediately return to take care of Ten business. Things are in shambles, and they need your leadership. You’ll be able to take on a more senior role. The Exilers have taken over Garden City, which is a coup for them even if the SCI had already moved the Ten to Military City. On Earth, the SCI has taken
a huge hit to their reputation. There has never been a better time to sway the SCI back to their original charter.”

  I consider his counsel as both my father and member of the Arbiter Council. I square my jaw and stand immovable. “I don’t think so. I’m not taking any more orders—from anyone. Not the SCI and not you. I’ve been taking care of other people’s crap my entire life. Well…no more. I’m done.”

  He removes his glasses and rubs his tired eyes. “I highly recommend you reconsider.”

  I clench my teeth and rock back on to my heels. “That won’t happen.”

  “I anticipated you would react this way.” Of course he had. He’s a full-blooded Arbiter. I only inherited a portion of his abilities, making me not good enough to do real Arbiter work. Truthfully, I’m not good enough for anything or anyone. “I have somebody you are going to want to meet.”

  “Doubtful.” A girl appears by my father’s side. She’s somewhere between Kira and Alexa’s height, with shoulder-length, straight, striped hair. I mean, seriously—I see black, blonde, red, and brown. Who does that? Her eyes are huge and hazel, with as many variations of color as her hair, and surrounded by obscenely thick lashes that rival my own. She’s trim but extremely muscular. What does my father think he can do? Ship in a replacement a few hours after Kira dumps me?

  “Let me rephrase. Since you have willfully chosen to disobey the edicts given to you, the Arbiter Council is assigning you a shadow. Olivia will be with you at all times and inform you of any and all violations you commit of Arbiter code…and report them back to us as well, of course.”

  “Olivia” thrusts her hand out toward me. “You can call me Liv if you earn it.”

  I keep my hands at my sides and scowl at her. There is no way I’m letting another girl into my life. Particularly some leech that works for the Arbiter Council. “I don’t think so. I’m not interested in having a shadow.”

  She snarls at me in return.

  My father says, “Olivia, I wish you the very best in your dealings with my son. Hopefully, you can teach him a lesson or two that might actually stick.”

  She chuckles. “I’d be happy to use a stick on him.” My father laughs. He thinks it is funny that he is sicking this whack-job on me. She adds, “I can’t think of anything that I like less than abject disobedience.”

  She leans toward me and whispers. “Actually, I can think of something I like less than disobedience. And that would be babysitting some half-blood who has gone off the deep end over a girl. I plan to eliminate every sappy emo bone from your pathetic body.”

  My mouth hangs open. I mentally calculate whether I’d be more likely to get life in prison or the death penalty if I killed her right now. “You can go to hell, Butch. If I’m not willing to obey my dearest Daddy here, I’m certainly not going to take orders from you. If you intend on following me, I’m going to take you right off the deep end.”

  Now she’s the one who looks shocked.

  Time to ditch this broad.

  I sprint to the edge of the cliff, and I leap.

  For a second, it feels like I’m falling and my stomach takes up residence in my throat.

  And then a bout of wind lifts me.

  Now I’m floating…

  Flying…

  Soaring…

  It’s liberating.

  “Free at last,” I yell. My voice echoes off the canyon wall..

  Of course, I don’t intend to die. I’m simply making a point…a rather poignant one.

  Hopefully, my father has been sufficiently chastised.

  I wish I could see the look on his and Shadow Barbie’s face.

  My fall hastens, as if I’m chained to a large boulder.

  Right before impact…just as I can feel the spray of the waves on my face…I picture where I want to go in my head.

  And I go.

  THE END

  The story will continue in 2014 with generate.

  Author’s note

  If you enjoyed this book, please leave a spoiler-free review on Amazon.com and/or Goodreads. Reader reviews help spread the word about indie authors and books. I appreciate your support!

  The third book in the daynight series, generate, will be released in 2014.

  Follow me on Twitter here.

  Follow the daynight series on Facebook here. This is the primary place where I post dates and teasers for new releases. I also do regular giveaways.

  My personal blog (where you can sign up for notification of new releases in the series) is here.

  I’d love to hear from you! You can email me here.

  Commonly Asked Questions

  I have had readers ask questions that I cannot respond to in a public forum (because of spoilers). I’m including the three most common questions asked and my answers here.

  Why did you skip a year and use flashbacks to tell the story?

  There were several factors that went into my decision to tell the story this way. First and foremost, the main characters were all separated at the end of daynight. Kira was pregnant, and I didn’t want to tell the story of a depressed heroine who was pregnant with triplets. Her character needed time to evolve. I didn’t want the story to be about Kira’s breakdown but about how she builds herself back up. In addition, Ethan was at law school most of the year (boring), and Blake was in Exile most of the year (also boring). Second, I wanted time to pass to “move along” certain things. The Exilers needed to get the Second Chancers on board. The Clean Slate Complexes on Earth needed to get up and running, and the SCI needed to move forward their political plans. However, I did feel it was important to tell about key events during the year through flashback to give context to things happening in the present. There are important clues in each flashback.

  The timeline definitely adds complexity to the story. Some crazy readers like me love complexity. It won’t surprise you to hear that one of my favorite TV shows of all time is “Lost” and one of my favorite reads of the past year is “Gone Girl.” Other readers would prefer a simpler timeline. All I can say is that I stand by my decision telling this story as I did. The next book, generate, does not need a major time jump and should be less complex in that respect.

  My favorite character is Ethan. How could Kira pick anyone other than him?

  There is no way to please everyone in a situation such as this. At the time that the SCI chose Ethan for Kira, she was seventeen years old. She had feelings for two different guys and wasn’t ready to choose either of them. Then she spent a couple nights with Ethan before being separated for a full year. That year dramatically changed both of them. Kira’s priorities changed, and her feelings evolved. Both Kira and Ethan made decisions that had lasting consequences. Could I have dragged out the drama for another book? I didn’t feel like I could. As the mother of three, Kira needed resolution and to make a lasting commitment to one person—the right person for her. I think, at the end of the series, everyone will look back and say, “It all makes complete sense.”

  Will Ethan ever get to be happy?

  I love the last scene of the book where Ethan gets a backbone and stands up to his father. Kira has told him that he has “great things” in store. Just like we saw Kira grow in arbitrate, we will see Ethan flourish in generate.

  Map of Thera

  Acknowledgements

  What a wild ride! I had so much fun writing arbitrate. At times, I thought I might go a little nuts keeping track of all the subplots, but it was a great challenge and was all worthwhile once it came together. My primary goal with arbitrate was to create a completely different story feel and plot line than daynight. I’m not a fan of rehashed plots. The “bubble” that Kira lived in—where she used relationships as an “escape”—needed to pop, and she had to grow up and face reality. This obviously had far-reaching implications for everyone. I love flawed characters!

  Many people have helped me along the way and I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of them.

  To the outstanding and dedicated fans of the daynig
ht series—you are all amazing! Thank you for reading, your reviews, your messages of encouragement, your tweets, your dedicated participation on the facebook.com/daynight.series page, and for spreading the word. The series would have never hit “bestseller” status without you!

  Fabulous “Alpha” readers (who read as I wrote and provided feedback) Ashley B., Breanna B., and Alyssa T.—you guys are the best and I love you!

  My outstanding Beta and ARC readers and reviewers—I am grateful to each of you for your support, feedback, and sharp eyes: Jacinda O., Elizabeth N., Liz S., Melannie W., Katherine W., Rosie B., Jenn S., Jon T., Peggy K., Emily B., Virginia J., Michael L., LoraLynn A., Kristin B., Candy C., Elizabeth S., Kendra G., Alyssa P., Candice P., Elizabeth A., Ashley P., Isabel G., Shalaine H., Laura W., Tami G., Rebecca W., Sarah M., Amanda T., Becca J., LeeAnne I., Victoria R., Shannon T., Jennifer B., Claire T., Megan B., and many more.

  A big thank you to my family—my husband and my five kids—for putting up with my scattered brain, an often messy house, infrequent home cooked meals, and for having to listen to me constantly stress over each and every aspect of this business. I love you and your support means everything to me.

  I’m grateful to fellow Darkest Worlds anthology authors: Katie French, SK Falls, AG Henley, Zoe Cannon, and Kate Avery Ellison. It has been a pleasure working with you and learning from you! Thank you to friend and author Nicole Grotepas for your support, encouragement, and for often “talking me off the literary edge.”