Just In Time: An Alaskan Nights Novel

by Addison Fox

  He’d never thought his father’s death was that big a driver in his life, but looking back on it, he knew losing a parent at a young age hadn’t been meaningless, either. Both his father and his grandfather’s shortened lives had left a sense of urgency within him.

  Maybe he’d have had it anyway, Roman mused. No one really knew the path not taken and he was no exception. But that desire to take it all in—to go after his goals with everything he was—beat strong and true inside him. It was why he’d spent so many extra hours a week above and beyond the standard practice times.

  Why he still did it, to this day.

  He had always pushed himself, striving for more. Striving to be better. Never settling until he was better.

  Until he was the best.

  Proving to himself that he was strong and able-bodied. That he’d done his damnedest to outlive his legacy.

  He was thirty-four years old and he’d accomplished every professional goal he’d ever set for himself. Was that his own doing? Or was it a result of the veil of loss that had framed his upbringing?

  Maybe it was both.

  The ringing of his phone pulled him from his thoughts and he let out a soft sigh. His agent, Ray, had already left several messages to discuss the SNN deal, and he clearly hadn’t been put off by the three text messages Roman had sent him over as many days.

  The irony didn’t escape him that the very same reason he paid Ray a generous salary was the reason he had no desire to talk to the man right now. Dogged pursuit of his future outside the hockey rink wasn’t a conversation he looked forward to.

  Facing the inevitable, he hit the answer button. After briefly catching up on how he’d been spending his time, Ray launched into the specifics of the offer. “It’s better than we anticipated, Roman. They want you.”

  “They know I’m not ready to make a commitment.”

  “They’re willing to give you some time, but I can’t hold them off forever.”

  “I’m not ready to pull the trigger with the Metros yet.”

  “Can you give me a ballpark?”

  Roman held back the frustrated sigh and kept his tone even. Ray was his business partner, but he didn’t know everything. “Give me two weeks.”

  “I can hold them off until then.”

  “Good. Thanks.”

  Roman hung up and continued pacing the room. The conversation had held few surprises—other than just how much money SNN was willing to throw around. While the money wasn’t the main factor in his decision, it didn’t hurt to know he’d be compensated handsomely for continuing to maintain a travel schedule that would fell more than a few flight attendants.

  The small voice that had gotten progressively louder since he arrived back in Indigo screamed at him to come clean with Avery. He knew he should share his medical condition and its impact on his future. Add on the very telling conversation they’d had in the cab about hiding the difficult things and he knew he needed to say something.

  And even as he knew he should, he continued to push it off, as if keeping the secret would stave off the inevitable.

  Like somehow telling Avery would finally make it all terribly, horribly real.

  With his thoughts roiling, Roman paced and stewed on his options until it was time to go down and watch her panel.

  The room was packed, with the crowd humming in an upbeat murmur as everyone took their places. He’d snagged a spot in the front corner and passed the last few minutes watching her read and reread her notes in quiet preparation.

  It was funny that the look on her face was nearly an identical match for the tight focus she used to get studying for finals. She pushed the hair behind her ear in an unconscious gesture that made him think of study hall and he had to admit just how far gone he was.

  Even now, he could conjure up an image of her sitting at her desk, two rows in front of him and three rows over, that was as vivid as if he’d sat in the classroom yesterday.

  Was there any moment with her he’d ever forgotten?

  He knew her.

  And he loved her.

  The knowledge rang so true, he also admitted to himself he’d never really stopped loving her. It was the reason he’d stayed away. And it was the reason for the lavish gifts.

  He’d desperately wanted to bring her some joy. Give her something that he knew she loved as a way to make her happy.

  The fact that those same gifts were looked at as an insult had hurt, but he finally understood why. The loneliness he’d lived with for fourteen years could never have been assuaged by a gift, no matter how well-meaning.

  And even the most thoughtful gesture eventually became meaningless.

  God, he’d been such an ass. A well-intentioned one, but an ass all the same.

  And now that he finally understood that fact, he only had a week left in Indigo.

  Of course, he could have had a month and it likely wouldn’t have made a difference. His life wasn’t in Alaska, no matter what choice he made for his future. He wasn’t ready to retire completely at the age of thirty-four. And no matter how sweet the memories, the last few weeks had proven to him that he and Avery weren’t the same people after all this time. They’d moved forward as individuals.

  Bright, vibrant people who had bright, vibrant futures ahead of them.

  Futures that continued to push them in different directions.

  • • •

  Julia quietly closed her bedroom door, but not before she stopped to look her fill of a sleeping Ken, sprawled across her bed. For such a mild-mannered man, he was rather expansive in sleep and she’d enjoyed seeing that side of him.

  The day before had been a revelation, the night yet another.

  She loved.

  It was so simple—so swift and immediate—she wondered how it was possible she could feel this way.

  Her kitchen looked the same as it always did when she walked into it a few minutes later, the warm yellow walls greeting her as they did every morning. The summer sun streamed in the windows, the same way it had for the last month. And the summer before. And all the summers that she’d lived in the house.

  But everything was different. She was different.

  A small giggle lodged in her throat. Had she really made love to a man? At her age?

  She most certainly had and she was damn glad to know all the equipment still worked, thank you very much.

  Wouldn’t Mary and Sophie be surprised?

  And maybe she’d hold off telling them for a couple of days, as the opportunity to hold the delicious knowledge all to herself felt too lovely to give up quite yet.

  Goodness, when had she become so secretive? First her concerns about Roman and now this.

  She went to work filling the coffeepot and getting it on to brew, then turned to the fridge to find the makings of breakfast. She had the sudden desire for pancakes and waffles, bacon, eggs and a side of hash browns.

  “Greedy, insatiable woman,” she admonished herself with another giggle before she reached for the carton of eggs.

  “I’d say so.”

  She nearly dropped the eggs before turning to see Ken standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “I didn’t hear you come down.”

  “I’m sorry if I startled you.” He crossed the room and gave her a light kiss on the cheek before heading to the cabinet to pull down a couple mugs.

  She watched him, bemused that he knew where things were. And in that moment, it hit her. “Things between us have been building for a long time.”

  He turned from the cabinet. “I wanted to think so. To hope so.”

  “We know each other well.”

  “We do.”

  All the years—all this time—Ken had always been there. Watching out for her. Being a part of her social circle.

  Being there for her.

  While she’d depended on him a bit more than usual for her concerns about Roman since her grandson had returned home, he’d always been a confidant. A trusted friend that she shared her life with.


  How had it taken her so long to realize it?

  “Were there times you wanted to shake me?”

  “I didn’t want to pressure you. And I never knew if your feelings were something more, and I didn’t want to lose what we had. Have.”

  He set the mugs next to the gurgling coffeepot and came over to take her hands.

  “I care about you and having you in my life. That has always been paramount to me. The rest is—” He broke off, his normally serene face drawn as he searched for words. “The rest is wonderful, but having you in my life has always meant more.”

  She pressed her hand to his cheek, enjoying the light scratch of beard under her fingertips. “Thank you for giving me space.” She moved in closer and pressed a kiss to the other cheek. “But maybe next time you want something as fun and enjoyable as last night, you find a way to tell me? We’re not going to live forever, you know.”

  Their mutual laughter was cut off as he pressed his lips to hers, pulling her close. It was a long while later before either of them thought about their morning cup of coffee.

  • • •

  “In closing, there are many benefits of an exchange program, but the opportunity to both encourage your staff while you allow them to bring valuable learning back to your establishment makes the program a win-win for everyone.”

  Avery sat back in her chair, relieved the prepared remarks were over and excited at the applause and clear interest from the audience. She’d maintained eye contact with various people during her speech and all had worn that keen look of interest as she spoke.

  The moderator moved the panel into the Q and A session and she relaxed, waiting while the first question was directed at a proprietor from Juneau.

  She scanned the room, surprised to realize there were people she knew. She’d attended this conference several years ago and had made many friendships, which she’d nurtured, mostly via e-mail, over the years. She continued her assessment and saw Roman smiling proudly from the front row.

  The fact that he was here was heady unto itself. The fact that he saw her at her professional best and encouraged and believed in her was something else entirely.

  It was wonderful.

  The next question was directed to her and she refocused her attention on the person asking about the logistics of instituting an exchange program. She answered, describing her experience, the company she’d used that matched her and Lena up, and how she’d originally enrolled herself and the Indigo Blue in the program.

  As she spoke, her mind whirled with the conversation she and Roman had shared earlier in the week. The choices she’d have been forced to make if he’d asked her to go with him.

  She wouldn’t have only had to choose about leaving her mother.

  She’d have had to choose about her career, too. She wasn’t just some girl from Indigo who mopped down the bar and checked people in. She’d become a member of the community. An active hospitality resource in their region, with connections to events and activities, tour groups and travel packages.

  She had a career.

  And she’d have had none of it if she’d left Indigo to follow Roman Forsyth around the country as he followed his dream.

  For far too long, she’d laid her sadness at the feet of Roman and her mother. And maybe it was time to face the fact that the reality of her life was right where it belonged.

  With her.

  • • •

  “Here’s to you.” Roman lifted his glass of Chianti and waited for Avery to lift hers as well.

  “I’ll toast to that.”

  She took a sip of the rich red wine, her expression so light he was surprised she wasn’t hovering about three inches off the chair.

  The wine was particularly good and he enjoyed the taste of it almost as much as watching her. “It was a good day. Thanks for letting me come along.”

  She reached across the table and took his hand. “I’m glad you’re here. Really glad.”

  “I am, too.”

  Their waiter arrived to take their orders and Roman got the chicken Parmesan while Avery ordered her perennial favorite, lasagna.

  She watched the departing form of their waiter before she turned back and took Roman’s hand once more. “Today it hit me that I have a great career.”

  He nodded, not sure where she was going. “Of course you do.”

  “I never realized that before this week. And, well, before Ireland.”

  “That trip meant a lot to you.”

  “It did.”

  Roman knew he wasn’t nearly as supportive at first as he should have been. He had been in Indigo the previous winter when she’d gotten the call that she had been accepted, and his inner selfish streak had roared with indignity at the idea of her going that far away.

  “I should have been more supportive about that trip. Especially at first.”

  “It’s okay.”

  He squeezed her fingers. “No, it’s really not.”

  “After Sloan, Grier and I dissected it a million different ways, we kept coming back to the same answer.”

  “What was that?”

  “You were jealous of my adventure and convinced I’d meet someone wonderful, abandon my post under your mother’s care and run off to roam the world.”

  He couldn’t hold back the laughter at her words, especially since she wasn’t all that far from the truth. “You know me too well.”

  “While I think women spend far too much time assigning meaning where it’s not meant, in this case we figured we sort of had something.”

  “And you did meet someone wonderful.”

  “Declan is wonderful.” Her warm gaze grew hooded. “But he deserves someone who will love him back. Fully. That person isn’t me.”

  “I’ve had a few of those myself. It’s like no matter how hard you try, no matter how great the other person is, you just can’t be what they need.”

  “The old it’s not you, it’s me situation.” Her smile was gentle as she spoke, and he took a deep breath of relief that they could actually discuss this subject.

  “Yep.”

  “I bet you left a path of broken hearts strewn all over Manhattan, Mr. Forsyth.”

  “Fortunately, relatively few. And from the last I heard, all had been accounted for in new relationships, most of which led to marriage.”

  “Well, the Internet’s quite active with sites devoted to you. Posts go up almost immediately after a game, lovingly detailing your prowess on the ice, your heroic hockey skills, and just how hot you looked when you pulled your helmet off in the penalty box during the second period.”

  “I haven’t seen those.”

  “It’s sweet in a stalkerish, teenage fantasy sort of way.”

  “Then it’s lucky for me sixteen-year-old girls outgrow their celebrity crushes once a real boyfriend arrives to put the stars in their eyes.”

  The laugher in her eyes faded until all he saw was the past shining back at him. “Most of them, anyway.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  The heavy weight of Roman’s arm rested over her shoulders and Avery asked herself when she’d last felt so good. They’d walked to dinner, the restaurant a few short blocks from the hotel, and now they were taking their time to meander back.

  Anchorage came alive in the summer, with the long days a natural incentive to get people out and enjoying the city. Add on the numerous visitors who came to the city before or after a cruise and the streets were full of life.

  That rush of activity had also ensured they were recognized by more than a few people. The attention had been good-natured, but it had slowed their walk back to the hotel. True to her word, Avery didn’t mind the notice paid to Roman, but she did wonder at it. He was so kind and patient, answering the same questions over and over.

  How did he deal with it day after day, year after year?

  “You weren’t kidding about being the belle of the ball.” She patted his stomach as they turned up the long, curving driveway to their hotel.

&
nbsp; “Did it bother you?”

  “What? The people who stopped us? Not at all. I think it’s sort of sweet.”

  “You’re a masochist.”

  “No, it’s just neat to see that side of you. I’ve seen how everyone from Indigo treats you, but they at least know you. Perfect strangers actually light up when they meet you. Your picture will be on Facebook walls and flying through the air in text messages before the hour is out.”

  “It’s nothing to do with me. It’s for the idea of me.”

  Before she could say anything to such a cryptic statement, Roman pointed toward the horizon. “You just don’t see a sky like that anywhere else.” The late evening light was breathtaking, the colors so bright and golden it drew the eye to its glorious palette.

  “Manhattan’s a far cry from Anchorage.”

  “There are some nights, though. The way the sun sets over the Hudson. It reminds me of this a little bit, especially in the fall.”

  “I bet New York is amazing.”

  “You’ve never been?”

  She couldn’t help but smile at that. “I did a layover at JFK for my flight to Ireland, but that’s it. Similar to my disdain for the Yankees, I couldn’t come to New York and get that close to you. What’s it like there?”

  “Everything you’ve ever heard it is and then more. It also changes how you look at what you need in life.”

  “How so?”

  “A car, for one thing. I didn’t have one for the longest time, but I finally had to give in because my professional commitments had me out in Jersey or on Long Island. Other than that, though, I don’t really need one. I take the subway everywhere.”

  “You don’t mind being closed in underground?”

  “It’s the easiest way to get around. And it’s not that hard to get used to.”

  Avery tried to imagine traveling everywhere in tunnels under the earth and came up short. “I just can’t picture what it’s like. I also can’t imagine that it’s comfortable for a man of your size.”

  “People give you space. And most people are in their own world, headphones on or a book in hand. It’s a strange system, but it works.”