Necromance

by Armand Rosamilia

  He snickered. "Honey, there ain't enough money in America to get me to go against that dude. He is straight up horror, you know what I'm saying?"

  "Yeah, I do. He's my dad, remember?"

  The black guy smiled. "Oh, yeah. You do know. Which means you should also know why I'm not going to help you."

  "Have you met him?"

  He shook his head. "No way. I just hear the stories my boss tells me. Even he's creeped out by your pops, and he's a bad ass motherfucker. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut off your head."

  The whore was unconscious in his arms and he was holding her in front of him, draped across his chest.

  I took two steps forward. "So, you've never met him and you have no idea where he is?"

  As soon as he shook his head, I plunged the sword through the whore and into his stomach. The look of amazement on his face was priceless. I wish I'd thought sooner. I could've taken a picture with my cell phone and put it on Facebook. Oh, well. I'd keep this one in my head.

  "What? Did you think I was going to let you use her to get out of here or turn on me? I couldn’t care less about her. As you can see." I watched as the life went out of the bodies and then wiped the blade on the sheets, going through their clothing and taking whatever money I could find.

  Hey, I still need to eat and I really need gas.

  DJ Diggie Duval didn't seem to be home, or he had stepped out for awhile. I needed to think. This place was pretty big. Maybe he was home but in another room. If he was, the fighting would have alerted him. I was surprised guards weren't running up the stairs.

  And then I saw why.

  When I walked into the hallway, there were six men, all aiming rifles at me.

  "Bring our guest downstairs," I heard the DJ say.

  * * * * *

  "Can I have a drink?" I asked once I was seated on the comfy couch across from him. In person, this close, he looked even wimpier and smaller than onstage. He looked like a bad version of Puffy Combs, and I wasn't impressed with him, either.

  "Is this a stalling tactic or a trick, Ms. Thorne?"

  I smiled. "No. It's fucking hot and I am thirsty."

  He didn't break his stare but snapped his finger. "Bring our guest a glass of cold water."

  "Fuck that. Bring me a beer."

  When the guard hesitated, DJ Biggie Duval nodded, and the guy went into the kitchen. I didn't want to press my luck and see if he had any chips and dip.

  "Now what do we do? I'm guessing this is the part where you tell me all of your nefarious plans and then you tie me up, naked, and hang me over a vat of boiling lava or alligators. Then two of your men, we'll call them Henchman #1 and Henchman #2, will watch as I get free, beat up both of them and escape so we can do this all over at a later date. Sound about right?" I really wished I'd asked for chips as my stomach rumbled. And drinking beer on an empty stomach was going to get me light-headed and drunk pretty damn quick.

  He smiled. He still had his sunglasses on in the house, which I always thought was a douche bag move. No one was cool enough to wear shades indoors. No one.

  "I'm going to ignore the dead people upstairs in the bedroom for now. You did me a favor, because I gave strict orders to everyone working for me not to mess with the groupies." He looked around and I could see he was annoyed and looking at the other men in the room. "But your being in my home is a problem. Especially because of what you are and what you apparently do for a living."

  "What do you think I do for a living?" I asked. I wanted to know, too… because it wasn't much of a living at this point. And where was my fucking beer?

  The guy finally came back from the kitchen with a cold beer. I took it and acted casual as I sniffed it.

  The DJ grinned. "You think I'm going to poison you?"

  I pretended to take a big swig but blocked the beer with my teeth before cupping the bottle in my lap. "The idea has occurred to me, actually. And I'm sure to you."

  He waved his hands dramatically. "I'm just trying to figure out what you want with me. Oh, and to answer your question: you seem to get a perverse enjoyment out of killing Fiends and anything else supernatural getting in your way. And why? Because you seem to have daddy issues."

  "Daddy issues as in I want to kill my daddy," I said. "And I'm going to guess the little extra in the beer is a sedative? Something to knock me out?"

  He glanced at the beer bottle. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

  "I think you do." I lifted the bottle and poured it on the carpet next to my chair. Several of his men moved to intercept me but he yelled for them to stop.

  "This is just a rental. So I'm not too worried. Beer in the carpet will clean easier than blood splattered on the bedroom walls upstairs, anyway. Yes, I did try to make you less in control. Can you blame me? I've been on the other side when my brothers came back and bitched about you. I'm enjoying my stay and don't want to be damned for a hundred years. You know how long it takes to get the call to come up and have some fun? Way too long. I intend to make the most of it while I'm on earth. But then you show up."

  "Sorry to ruin all the fun, but I can't stop until my itch is gone. You are that itch right now," I said. Now I was pissed. Not because he had tried to knock me out, but because I really wanted a fucking beer. I stood up suddenly and walked to the kitchen, two of his goons shadowing me. DJ Biggie Duval wisely let me go, knowing I wasn't going to attempt to flee. We'd let this meeting play out and see where it took us.

  The fridge was stuffed with food and beer. I really wanted to pull up a chair and start filling my grumbling stomach, but instead grabbed two beers and a takeout box of leftover Chinese food. I went to the microwave and reheated the food. One of the guards was staring at me. "You want some?"

  He just kept staring, and he wasn't trying to check out my tits. He was actually doing his job, which I thought was amazing. I took a generous swig of beer before opening cabinets until I found a half-eaten bag of potato chips. Fuck it; if I was going to die today, it would be on a full stomach.

  The food done, I grabbed a fork and a napkin and went back into the living room, where DJ Biggie Duval was waiting patiently. He looked amused.

  "I hope this wasn't your dinner for tonight,” I said.

  "Please, help yourself."

  "I think I will. Thanks. You are an excellent host, if we ignore the poisoning."

  "I have Oreo cookies, too," he said.

  "I'd like some… wait, I'll get them myself when I'm done." I couldn’t leave my food unattended or trust them not to taint the cookies. And, if he messed with an Oreo, I was going to be pissed.

  He was polite and waited as I tried not to inhale the food, trying to pace myself and not seem like I was starving. Which I was. I'm not a big girl but I have a big appetite. I fought not to lick the plate clean, stuffing the last handful of potato chips in my mouth and washing it down with the last sip from the second beer before smiling at him.

  "Your cookies?"

  I shook my head. "I'll take them when I leave."

  "Who said you were going to leave?" he asked.

  I shook my head. "Did you really ruin the mood by making a veiled threat? I thought you'd be a better person."

  "I'm not a person. I'm a demon. Remember?"

  "There are still strict laws and codes, even for an anarchist like you," I said. "Absolute chaos is fundamentally wrong. There still needs to be a structure, even if it is hidden inside the chaos, right?"

  "You are very knowledgeable," he said.

  "I learned from the absolute best. My father. Where can I find him?" I decided to get right to the point.

  "I'm sure you know he's been looking for you."

  "If he is, he's doing a shitty job. I'm not hiding. In fact, I've been killing Fiends and anything else supernatural and piling the bodies behind me. I'm not sure where he's looking, but I've been out in the open this entire time," I said. I knew my father might be keeping tabs on my every move but he wasn't in any hurry to be anywhere near me. In
fact, it was jerks like this loser who would safely haul me into wherever he was hiding. But I'm not goin' out like no punk bitch, as House of Pain said. I missed those guys. Now that was real rap music, not the crap DJ Biggie Duval was trying to sell.

  "Be that as it may, I think you can see the position I'm in. Your father has put the word out he wants to speak with you. Or see your head. I'm not sure which way matters more to him at this point. You've been a thorn in his side for too long, and the person or Fiend who hands you over to him will be justly rewarded."

  "What if we strike a side deal?" I asked with nothing to lose. I knew he wouldn't take it but I had to do something. I, too, was pretty good at stalling when I was about to get my ass kicked.

  "You have nothing that would interest me," he said quickly.

  "Nothing?" I smiled and stood up and put my hands on my hips. "I might need to gain a few pounds right now, but you have to admit… I am a fine piece of ass." I turned slowly and shook my ass for the rest of the men gathered. "Anyone here want to claim they wouldn't fuck me?"

  DJ Biggie Duval waved his hands. "Fine. I get your point. But you really don't have that to trade right now. If I snap my fingers, every man in this room will pounce. They'll rip your damn clothes off. Remember that. You have nothing to bargain with."

  "I suppose it was worth a try, right? Can't blame a gal for trying." This was going nowhere fast, and I could see by the look on his face the DJ was going to terminate or confine me any second. "Tell me where he is."

  "Why? You'll see him soon enough."

  "Then why not tell me?"

  "Because you don't need to know. You need to sit down and relax," he said.

  "Is he coming here to see me?"

  DJ Biggie Duval shook his head. "He's sending someone to pick you up. I made the call."

  "Ahh, I get it… you have no fucking clue where he is. You probably haven't even met him, and definitely have no direct contact. You'll pass me along to a third party, who will take credit for the capture. You're even dumber than you look, and you look pretty fucking stupid to begin with." I could see he was pissed, which was a small victory for me right now. It was the little things in life I loved.

  He stood and waved his arms. "I'll get the credit because everyone will know it was me that lured you in."

  "You didn't lure me in. I came here to kill you, which I still plan on doing. And, if, for some strange reason, my luck finally runs out, I'll make sure to tell my father you had nothing to do with it. In fact, I'll tell him you were trying to recruit me to usurp him and take over yourself," I said.

  As soon as he drew his pistol, I went into action, expecting the move. I lunged at him but ducked low at the last second and the gun went off. I punched him in the balls with my left hand and grabbed the gun with my right, taking it from him as he released me.

  I shot the two closest to me and punched the DJ in the face for good measure, but I didn't let him go down. I wrapped an arm around his neck and put him in front of me as a shield. "Back off," I yelled and watched as the guards took a step back but still aimed at me. I knew there would be at least one rogue Fiend in the room who would take this moment to accidentally kill DJ Biggie Duval and try to take over the spot, so I went on the offensive.

  I shot two more of them in the head as I dragged the DJ back towards the kitchen. "Anybody moves and he dies. And then you die."

  There were too many of them and I knew I would run out of ammo soon. Plus, the DJ was starting to compose himself and struggle more. In a matter of seconds, I was going to get fucked, and not in a good way.

  "Drop your weapons," I shouted as I backed into the kitchen, hoping no one was behind me. I was waiting for cold steel to be pushed against my skull, or whatever that cliché saying about a gun pointed at your head was.

  And it didn't take long, either.

  "You drop your weapon," the quiet female voice said from behind me.

  "Fuck." Six guys came into the room, all smiling.

  DJ Biggie Duval pushed away from me and took his gun back. "Now, you're going to get it, bitch."

  "Put down the gun or I will shoot you in the fucking head, asshole," she said behind me. "I'm not playing. All of you fucking bitches. Now."

  They did as they were told and now they looked scared.

  I was beyond scared, stunned. Because I knew who was standing behind me now, and I wasn't too happy about it.

  I figured my twin sister would come to fetch me like a good girl for father. I had no idea it would be even worse.

  I slowly turned and stared at my oldest sister, Kari, who I'd only met a couple of times as a small child. Yeah, we have a dysfunctional family, even without all the evil and summoning demons and shit.

  "Hello, sis," I finally said.

  "Turn back around," Kari said, and, as I did, she cold-cocked me with her pistol.

  Necromance 6:

  Blood Be Damned

  I felt like I’d been screwed, blued and tattooed. If you don’t get the reference, you aren’t Metal. Right now, I wasn’t feeling too Metal. I was feeling sick to my stomach because I was not only tied down to a bed in some dirty hotel room, but three Fiends were watching me from across the room.

  My throat was dry and I could see the bruises on my arms and ankles where they’d been rough with me while I was in Dreamy Dream Land thanks to my oldest sister, Kari, bashing in my head.

  Where was the bitch? I needed to thank her for the fresh black and blue marks on my body. I also needed some food and something to drink.

  I didn’t have long to wait.

  Kari came in from the dark hallway with a smile and wearing a Cannibal Corpse concert shirt.

  “Is that mine?” I had to ask. It was bad enough she’d beaten me up and tied me to a filthy bed, but now she was raiding my wardrobe. Women know that is a personal attack. “You didn’t ask permission to wear my shirt. I know we’re sisters, but common decency would be you asking first.”

  “And what would you have said?” Kari asked, pulling up a wooden chair and sitting. She was still smiling, which was a good thing.

  “I would have gladly traded the shirt for my freedom. Maybe even my life. The offer is still on the table,” I said, trying to match her smile. “We are, after all, blood, right?”

  “Barely,” she said under her breath. She turned her head to the Fiends in the room. “Leave us. Come back in ten minutes, without incident. No one in this hotel gets touched until I give the word.”

  They squeezed out the door and closed it behind them. I’m not going to lie: if I was untied, I would’ve made my move and tried my best to break her fucking neck. Blood be damned. I had no doubt she was in better shape than me right now. She looked like she’d been well-fed for awhile. Hell, she had some love handles bulging from the bottom of the shirt. My sister had been eating more cake than veggies. I didn’t think this was the appropriate time to tell her, though…

  “You’re screwing up everything,” Kari said to me.

  I had to laugh. “Wow, you sound just like dad when I was little. You are your father’s daughter.”

  “Not quite.” Kari stood and paced the floor at the foot of the bed.

  I grinned. She had a fatter ass than I did. Even if she killed me now I knew I had the smaller ass. Small victories and all that shit. “Are you going to kill me? It seems pointless. What harm can I really do running around the world trying to survive? I can’t even afford gas for my car right now.”

  “I like the Dodge Charger. Nice color. If I didn’t prefer Harley’s, I’d keep it.” Kari stopped pacing and came to the left side of the bed. “You’ve actually done quite a bit of damage. Don’t you even know? You’ve been one or two steps behind father for months. You even walked past where he was sitting in Manhattan.”

  “Bullshit,” I said. There was no way he could hide from me. I would sense him within a few miles. He couldn’t hide and he certainly wasn’t going to let me walk right by him without a confrontation.

  Kari shook
her head and I could see she wasn’t fucking with me. “Father has grown stronger and bolder since last you saw him. The guy’s insane.”

  “Our father was always insane,” I said. It was the truth. Who teaches their kids to summon demons and possess souls? I wish my dad had taught me to play the piano or to drive a car. “I’m not sure I’m following what you’re saying.”

  “The old man is scaring me. Us,” she said.

  This was bad. Really bad. I had always assumed there was a unified front against me since I wanted to plunge a dagger through my father’s chest and end his miserably evil life. Since I’d broken away from the family I had a warrant for my death hanging around my neck. And every sister I had wanted to end my life and look good for father. Now… I wasn’t so sure. “I think you need to fill me in. Why don’t we go and get something to eat? I’m famished.”

  Kari nodded but I didn’t think she was even listening to me or what I said had registered until she started untying me.

  “If you do anything stupid, I will fuck you up. Understand, sis?”

  I had to nod. I was really hungry. “Someone at the club was mentioning a Mongolian buffet in town. I don’t think it’s too far from here. We should check it out.”

  * * * * *

  Of course Kari had three Fiends in the area to watch me, but surprisingly it was only the two of us at the restaurant. Maybe she didn’t fear I’d attack her or maybe she knew the biggest thought in my mind right now was how to smuggle out egg rolls for later.

  “We’re being watched,” Kari said and moved the food around on her plate, with her fork, without taking a bite.

  I was almost done with my first plate and eyeing the line at the buffet table. I was going to break a record today and make the owner throw me out, if possible. I had come to eat.

  “I know. Your crew of Fiends,” I said between mouthfuls. “You really think I didn’t notice them?” I didn’t give her an exact number in case I missed one or two.

  Kari shook her head. “Not them. The guy in the corner.”

  I finished my last bite and went to the buffet. Kill two birds with one stone. I was still hungry and I wanted to check out who she was talking about.