Tortured Souls

by Carol Lynne

  Looking into Declan’s beautiful eyes, Bram forgot how to talk for a minute. “Thor called and asked me to come. He wanted to introduce me to his new lady. I’ll admit, I took an earlier flight than necessary though.”

  Looking at Bram, Declan stopped tapping his pencil. “Why’s that?”

  To see if you’d push me away again, like you did last time. “I hoped I’d have a chance to see you before you left on your vacation.” Bram leaned back in his chair a little and crossed his ankles. The resulting posture did little to hide Declan’s effect on him. Bram smiled when he caught Declan’s eyes wandering over his long, aroused body.

  “It’s not really a vacation. I’ve been hired to help with a rafting trip for wheelchair-bound adults. If I’d known you were coming, I’d have turned it down.” Declan licked his lips, staring openly at Bram’s arousal. “I’ve missed you. I’m sorry about rejecting you that night in the barn. I just wasn’t ready.”

  Feeling bold, Bram rose and walked around the desk. He stood in front of Declan and ran his hand over the length of the erection. “Missed you too.” At the look in Declan’s eyes, Bram pulled the smaller man out of his chair and captured his mouth. Oh hell, Declan tasted like home. Sweeping the interior of Declan’s mouth, Bram moaned. Breaking the kiss, he whispered against Declan’s mouth. “I’ve tried like hell to forget the taste of you.”

  Snaking his tongue out, Declan ran it around the rim of Bram’s lips. “No promises.” He pushed his tongue inside Bram’s mouth as he ran his fingers through Bram’s hair.

  Bram turned Declan and sat in his chair, pulling the smaller man down on his lap. “Never asked for any promises. I just need to feel you, to taste you. Even if it’s just for a little while, I need you to be mine.” Bram turned Declan so he was facing him. He placed the other man’s legs over the arms of the chair and attacked his mouth once more.

  Moaning, Declan began rubbing his cock against Bram’s stomach as his ass moved back and forth against Bram’s denim-encased erection.

  Grunting his approval, Bram ran his hands down Declan’s finely developed six-pack to the evidence of his desire. “Can I touch you?”

  “Please, yes.” As Bram went to work on Declan’s faded jeans, Declan pulled Bram’s shirt off over his head. Bram’s black hair fell in a waterfall of silk against his chest. Leaning down, Declan took one of Bram’s pebbled nipples into his mouth.

  Bram’s hands were shaking so badly it took him longer to get to Declan’s cock than he’d anticipated. Finally spreading Declan’s jeans apart, Bram pushed down Declan’s boxers and fished out his arousal. Long and thick. For a small man, Declan had a good-sized cock. Bram groaned and wrapped his fingers around it. “You feel good, like I knew you would.”

  “Mmm,” Declan moaned as he thrust into Bram’s hand. “Need you,” Declan said, attacking Bram’s other nipple as he continued to rub his ass against Bram’s cock.

  Thrusting his cock harder against Declan’s sweet ass, Bram nodded. “You have any lube in here?”

  Pulling off Bram’s nipple, Declan blushed. “Yeah.” He broke away from Bram and walked across the room, unlocking one of his file cabinets. Reaching all the way to the back, he picked up a bottle of lube and held it up. “Please don’t ask,” Declan said, relocking the cabinet as Bram dug in his wallet for a condom. Declan walked back over to the desk and set it down before taking his shoes, jeans and boxers off, while eyeing Bram openly. When Bram unzipped his jeans and started pushing them down, his dark bronzed cock sprang free of its confinement. “Fuck.” Declan’s eyes went big as he looked at the size of Bram’s cock. He coughed, and looked into Bram’s eyes.

  Seeing the worry in Declan’s eyes, Bram pulled him into his embrace. He ran his hands down Declan’s ass. “Relax. I won’t hurt you, I never would.” Although Bram wanted to touch all of Declan’s skin, he didn’t venture his hand upward. He remembered Declan’s scars, and knew the man was self-conscious about them. The first time they’d kissed in the barn, the night of the party, Declan had pulled away when Bram ran his hands over the damaged skin.

  Declan gave Bram a slight nod and kissed him. “Please, don’t hurt me.”

  Pulling away, Bram sat back in the chair and positioned Declan on his lap again. “Never.” Bram didn’t know whether to cry for the scarred and frightened man in his arms or get up and find the bastard who had hurt him. He pulled Declan to his chest and kissed the top of his head. “Please don’t be afraid of me. It just kills my protective side.”

  Declan’s answer was to reach behind him and lift the bottle of lube off the desk before handing it to Bram. “Get me ready?”

  Bram gave a sigh of relief and rolled the condom on. He took the bottle of oil and poured a generous amount into his hand. Reaching around Declan’s back, Bram tried not to get the oil on Declan’s shirt as he brought his fingers to Declan’s rosette. Bram kissed him. “Pull your shirt up so I don’t ruin it. I won’t touch your back unless you ask me to.”

  Biting his lip, Declan slowly raised his shirt. Bram leaned forward and took Declan’s mouth in another soul-searing kiss. When Declan melted against his chest, Bram rimmed his tight pucker with his oil-slicked fingers. He gently pushed one finger inside slowly. Damn, it had obviously been awhile for Declan. The man was as tight as a virgin. “Okay?”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Declan moved on Bram’s finger. “More,” Declan whispered as he nipped Bram’s neck.

  Adding another finger, Bram began slowly moving them in and out. “So tight.”

  Declan arched his back when Bram pegged his prostate gland. “Long time.” Declan began moving his body up and down on Bram’s fingers. “Another. Give me one more.”

  Bram reached for the bottle of oil with his free hand and dripped some down the crevice of Declan’s ass. Bram pulled out his fingers, and used the oil to lubricate Declan again before inserting the third finger.

  “Oh.” Declan’s back arched as he pushed into Bram’s hand. “Now.”

  Using his already lubed fingers, Bram ran them up and down the length of his cock a few times. He looked at Declan and wrapped his arms around his hips. “Rise up.” When Declan complied, Bram held on to the base of his cock and lined it up with Declan’s hole. “You’re in charge now, so go at your own pace.”

  Declan looked into his eyes for a few seconds and smiled. “Thank you.” He began to lower his body onto Bram’s throbbing shaft. Once the crown pushed passed the tight ring of muscles, Declan stopped for a few seconds before lowering himself inch by inch down the length of Bram’s cock. When Declan’s ass hit Bram’s lap, he looked up, surprised. “You’re in all the way?”

  Trying his damnedest to breathe, Bram nodded. “Yeah. I’m buried to the hilt.” Bram rubbed and squeezed the firm globes of Declan’s ass. He closed his eyes and willed himself not to move, when all he really wanted was to jackhammer his cock in and out of Declan’s sweet body.

  Declan kissed him. “I can see the strain I’m putting you through, and yet you haven’t moved a muscle. I think you were right, Mr. Blackstone. I believe I can trust you.” With those words, Declan began to move up and down on Bram’s shaft. As his passage stretched and relaxed to accept Bram more easily, Declan leaned forward and gave Bram a kiss. “You can move now. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

  “Thank God.” Bram seemed to surprise Declan by picking him up and laying him down on the desk, still buried inside him. Bram brought Declan’s legs over his shoulders and began a fierce rhythm. He pushed himself inside as far as he could. “I can’t get close enough.” As Bram’s hips pistoned, he reached between them and fisted Declan’s cock. “Come for me. Come on my cock.”

  Throwing his head back and arching his body, Declan came with Bram’s name on his lips. It was erotic as hell to see Declan’s cum painted all over his chest. With Bram’s dark skin tone, the pearly white drops stood out in stark contrast. God, he had the desire to taste that thick essence. The thought had him on the edge of coming. Thrusting once more, Bram buried himself d
eep and came, shaking with the ferocity of his climax. Bram looked into Declan’s eyes and lowered himself against Declan’s body. In that instant, Bram knew he’d been right to fall in love with this man.

  Bram’s long black hair created a curtain around the two of them as they kissed and licked each other’s faces and necks. Declan chuckled against Bram’s neck. “I think my legs are waging a protest at our current position.”

  Bram snapped up so fast, Declan almost fell off the desk. “You should have told me I was hurting you.” Bram removed the condom and began massaging Declan’s finely muscled legs.

  “You didn’t hurt me.” Declan cupped Bram’s cheeks. “I think you just saved me,” Declan whispered. Bram sifted through what Declan had just declared.

  Pulling the smaller man up to sit on the desk, Bram held him close and kissed him. “I think I’m falling hard for you, Declan O’Malley. You’re a keeper.” Bram realized he had his hands on Declan’s back and started to move them.

  Declan shook his head. “Don’t. I’m not afraid you’ll be disgusted anymore. Your arms and hands on my skin feel too good to give up because of the past.”

  Bram hated to ask but he knew they needed to get past this part of their new relationship. “Can you tell me?” He ran his fingertips lightly over the scars.

  “It’s a long story.” Declan glanced at the clock. “I’m sorry but I don’t have time to tell you right now. My plane’s going to leave without me if I don’t get going. But I promise I’ll call you tonight on my cell phone before we head out to the river in the morning.”

  Taking some tissues out of the box on Declan’s desk, Bram began cleaning them up. “We should probably take a quick shower but I think I like the smell of your cum on me.” Declan moaned and Bram kissed him again. “Let me drive you to the airport. Give me a few more minutes with you.”

  Declan reached for his clothes and began putting them on. “You sure you’re up to that? You just came from the airport. You ready to go back?”

  Zipping his jeans, Bram took a couple steps and pulled Declan into his embrace. “I’d be even happier if you’d make a place for me on this raft trip.”

  Declan ran his fingers through Bram’s hair and sighed. “I wish you could come but it’s in Arizona, Bram. I know how you feel about that state. Call Mac and tell him you need more time off. You can spend the week getting to know Kelly while I’m gone. Then I can have you all to myself when I get home.”

  Releasing Declan, Bram nodded. “Okay, but I don’t need to call Mac. I just have to call my assistant back in New York. I’m taking you to the airport, though. I plan on getting a few more kisses before I put you aboard that plane.”

  * * * * *

  Thirty minutes later, they were on their way to the airport in Bram’s rental. Declan sat next to him on the bench seat as the miles quickly flew by. Bram was torn between slowing down to make the trip last and keeping his promise that he’d get Declan to the airport on time. Declan nuzzled Bram’s neck. “Why don’t you stay at my place while I’m gone? There’s no sense in it sitting empty while I’m gone. When I get home, we’ll figure out our next step. Besides, I’d like the thought of you sleeping in my bed.”

  Squeezing Declan even tighter against him, Bram agreed. “I’d love to. I wasn’t exactly sure about staying in the house with Gabe, Rex and Boone anyway. I kinda walked in on Boone sucking Rex off earlier. They didn’t seem to mind too much but I know my libido would be in overdrive with the smell of cum filtering through that house.”

  Declan latched on to Bram’s bronzed neck and sucked, hard. He released his hold and looked at the nice bruise. “I’ve marked you, Bram Blackstone. You’re mine now.”

  Slowing the truck enough to maintain control, Bram leaned over and took a quick kiss. “I was yours before you ever marked me, Declan O’Malley.” Declan snuggled up against his shoulder once again as they rode in silence. “Declan? Do we have enough time to talk about what happened to you now?” Bram rubbed Declan’s side with the arm he had wrapped around him.

  “Some, maybe. It’s not a very pretty story. Are you sure you’re ready to hear it?”

  No. “I need to hear it. I need to understand why you pushed me away a month and a half ago.” Bram sighed. “And I need to understand so I don’t do something in the future that might upset you.” Bram kissed the top of Declan’s down-turned head.

  “You already know that my longtime partner, Scott, died from brain cancer, but it goes beyond that.” Declan’s tone was calm, almost detached, like he’d recited the story many times. “I was put into the foster care system when I was twelve. My mom was an alcoholic and the system took me away from her. When I was around sixteen, the family I was staying with took in another foster kid, Scott. He was only fifteen and had just lost his parents in a car accident. We quickly became friends, and then a few years later, lovers. I was accepted to college on a full-ride scholarship but Scott had neither the desire nor the grades, so he opted to work construction. He made enough money to get us a little studio apartment close to campus and the first couple years I was in college were heaven. One day I noticed Scott started acting funny. His moods began to change in the blink of an eye. I knew it wasn’t anything external because we were both so happy in our relationship it was sickening. I begged him to go see a doctor and after a lot of testing they found a small spot of cancer on his brain.”

  Declan stopped talking for a minute. Bram could tell he was reliving past events. Bram wanted to say something to Declan about the cold impersonal way he recited his history but he figured it was the only way Declan could get through it. He seemed to need that bit of detachment.

  “He went through the normal routine of radiation and chemotherapy, even though they told us the radiation might cause dementia. Scott had two rounds of radiation before they determined they were doing more harm than good. The cancer began to spread to other parts of his body. Scott’s mind began to falter along with his control. He beat me up several times. The police suggested I move out but Scott was the only family I had. I couldn’t leave him. No matter what he did to me, I couldn’t leave him.” Declan leaned forward and dug an old-fashioned dark blue bandana out of his back pocket. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

  Bram knew the tears in his eyes were visible to Declan, but for the life of him, he couldn’t turn them off. He was just about to tell Declan he didn’t need to hear any more when his man started talking again.

  “In my fifth year of college, I got a job working for one of my professors. One night when I came home, Scott met me at the front door of our studio. I could tell he was pissed about something, but I didn’t know what I had done. He pulled me into the apartment and started hitting me. He accused me of sleeping with my boss.” Declan began shaking his head. “I don’t know where he even got that idea but in his disturbed brain I’d committed the ultimate act of betrayal. He knocked me out, and when I came to, I was tied spread-eagle to our bed on my stomach. He tortured me. He raped me with different things around the house. When that wasn’t enough, he went into the kitchen and came back with a can opener of all things.”

  Bram couldn’t listen and still drive, so he pulled the truck to the side of the highway. Reaching out, he pulled Declan into his arms. Declan never missed a beat with his story.

  “You know the kind that you open a beer bottle with on one side and the other pointy side you use to open juice? Anyway, he came back into the room and held it up so I could see it. I remember thinking ‘What’s he gonna do with that?’. It wasn’t long enough to rape me with, so I just looked at him. Scott climbed on the bed and started carving into my back with the pointed end. I’d already screamed myself hoarse and no one had come to help me. Thankfully I passed out after about the third cut. The next thing I remembered was waking in the hospital. Evidently, after coming to his senses at some point during the attack, Scott realized what he’d done and threw himself out our fifth-floor window and broke his neck. When the police were called, they checked out
the apartment and found me. I woke in the hospital to the news that I was permanently disfigured and the man I loved was dead.”

  Bram looked at Declan as he wound down his lengthy speech. And that’s exactly what it was, a speech. One he must have given over and over to the authorities. Bram wondered just how detached a person became after such a horrific ordeal. No. Scratch that. Unfortunately, Bram knew exactly how detached someone could become after an attack by a loved one. He was living proof. Bram looked back to Declan and waited for him to finish.

  “I’ve never trusted anyone since.” Declan looked up at Bram’s tearstained face. “Until today.”

  Bram pulled Declan into his lap and kissed him. “I’m so sorry.” Tears ran down Bram’s face for the first time since he’d heard about Thor’s paralysis. Now that the tears had started, Bram couldn’t seem to turn them off. He held Declan as tightly as he dared until he could get his emotions under control. Declan wiped Bram’s face and wiped his nose. “Thank you, Declan.”

  Declan kissed him deep and hard, pushing his tongue into Bram’s mouth until their teeth collided. “I should be the one thanking you. I’ve been so lonely these last six years. I’ve been afraid to open myself up, to trust again. I’m sorry if I hurt you back in June when you were here. I really wanted to be ready. It wasn’t until you touched my back that I chickened out. Why would a man that looks like you want someone with a body like mine?”

  Pulling back enough to lift Declan’s face to his, Bram shook his head. “The first time I saw you on Gabe’s patio, I wanted you. Believe me, babe, there’s a hell of a lot more to your body than just your back. And you know what else?”

  “What?”

  “I love you. Scarred back and all. I don’t want you to ever feel ashamed of your body again. Not with me. Ever.” Bram leaned in and offered a loving kiss.

  “I love you too,” Declan whispered against his lips.

  * * * * *

  They were on the road again a few minutes later. Both men were feeling good, Declan’s arms wrapped around Bram’s waist. They pulled into the airport and Declan stopped Bram before he could pull into the parking lot. “There’s no need. My plane leaves in a little less than half an hour. I’ll have to run just to get through security and catch it. Just give me a kiss and tell me goodbye.”