April Showers

by Holly Jacobs

She should be looking forward to climbing into her new bed, with its new linens, tonight.

  Instead, she was lonely for Hank’s house. Lonely for being so close to Hank and being able to look after him. And, in the interest of honesty, she missed knowing she could sneak across the hall tonight to Sebastian’s room.

  Now she was certain she shouldn’t wait until after the wedding to call off the benefit part of her friendship with Sebastian.

  A little part of her worried that it might already be too late.

  Which was ridiculous.

  Sebastian would be gone soon enough, and she’d get on with her life.

  * * *

  LILY SPENT THE REST of the week waiting to feel as if the very nicely renovated apartment was home. She was still waiting, tossing and turning at night. Yes, she definitely missed visiting Sebastian in his room and falling asleep in his arms.

  She pushed away her worries. Today, she was celebrating her new home by inviting her friends over to dinner. It wasn’t a huge party by any means—Sophie and Colton, Mattie and Finn, and Sebastian and Hank. But for someone who never had people to her house, much less had a party, it was exciting.

  She’d bought a red-and-white-checkered cloth for the picnic table. She’d also bought a bright red silverware caddy and cute red lanterns at MarVee’s. But her favorite was the mason jars she’d found at the Farm and House Supply store. She’d wrapped wires around the lips and strung them from the nearest tree to the porch roof. She’d put a tea light in each jar, and as the evening grew darker, she thought the makeshift lanterns looked beautiful.

  “I get the feeling you’re avoiding me,” Sebastian said as he rounded the corner and came into the backyard.

  “Would I invite you to my first official dinner party if I was avoiding you?” she asked.

  “You—”

  She was saved from whatever he was about to say as Hank arrived with Finn and Mattie. “Lily, it’s lovely,” Hank said. “We want the grand tour.”

  “Look at that table,” Mattie remarked. “I’m sure that there’s some rule about all your stuff having to match when you host a dinner party, right?”

  “We’re lucky if we can get the kids to eat off plates and not break them. I don’t think there’s a matched set of anything in the whole house. This is beautiful,” Finn added gallantly.

  Lily’s nervousness disappeared at Mattie’s teasing. “I guess that someone who doesn’t know about the wonders of bridal showers couldn’t be expected to understand necessary matching at dinner parties.”

  “But I do know about hostess gifts,” Mattie proclaimed, revealing a small bag from behind her back.

  Lily took the bag and was surprised at the heft of it. She put it on the picnic table and tore off the tissue paper. The gift was a stoneware crock, slightly larger than the ones they’d used as centerpieces at Sophie’s shower. She took it out and there was a cobalt-blue rendition of Hank’s house and her slightly worn glider. Underneath the hand-painted picture it read Lily’s Home. Valley Ridge, New York.

  Lily felt tears gather in her eyes, and a huge lump of emotion formed in her throat. She’d grown up at her parents’ house, lived in dorms at college and even had an apartment in Buffalo, but she’d never really had anyplace that felt like home until now. Until here.

  And it wasn’t only the house—it was the people. As if on cue, Sophie and Colton rounded the corner. All of them. Hank, Sophie, Mattie and even the guys, Finn and Colton. She brushed at her eyes and glanced at Sebastian and realized him most of all. They were home for her.

  “Thanks,” she managed to croak out.

  “Oh, man. You cry at showers and at housewarming gifts? It was supposed to make you smile,” Mattie groused.

  “I’m smiling on the inside.”

  “Yeah, she is,” Sebastian said. “It’s a real smile. You can tell by the way her eyes crinkle. If she’s faking, the wrinkles don’t fall into the right places.”

  “Wait a minute, did you say I had wrinkles?” Lily asked, thankful to get past the emotional moment.

  “I didn’t mean old wrinkles like H—”

  “Watch it, boy,” Hank warned. “I might be old and I might have wrinkles, but I’m not so old I can’t take you on.”

  “I was going to say Helen Rogers, the music teacher from school. Now, there was a wrinkled woman.”

  “I’m going to tell Miss Helen you said that,” Lily warned.

  Their teasing set the tone for the next hour. She gave her friends the grand tour, which took all of a couple minutes. Her apartment might be compact, but it was hers and it reflected her tastes. She was pleased with the results.

  “I didn’t do anything overly ambitious for our meal. I made salads, and there are burgers to grill and—”

  Her cell phone rang. Part of her wanted very much to ignore it, but she couldn’t. It could be one of her patients. She saw the caller ID. “Excuse me, everyone. I have to take this.”

  “I’ll get more drinks,” Sebastian offered.

  She nodded and left her friends milling in her small living area. It wasn’t until she walked toward the glider that she hit Talk.

  If asked precisely what her mother said, Lily would be hard-pressed to come up with an answer; regardless, she knew what she had to do. She didn’t have a choice.

  This could be another boy-who-cried-wolf moment, and she could get there and find her mother had changed her mind, but she couldn’t take that chance. “Mom, I’m getting in the car right now. Don’t pack anything. Don’t do anything to raise his suspicions. Just stay out of his way and stay safe. I’ll be there as soon as I can. It’s about an hour, maybe hour-and-a-half drive. I’ll be there as quickly as I can. Please, Mom, please, this time come with me when I get there.”

  Lily hung up. She had to go apologize to her guests. She’d ask Sebastian to cook the burgers, and at least they could eat before they left.

  What did she need? A purse. She needed a license and some money. Just a purse.

  She sprinted toward the house and hardly spared a glance at her picnic table that had delighted her only seconds before. Sebastian appeared. The concern in his eyes was almost her undoing. “Lily, what’s wrong? A patient?”

  She wasn’t surprised he knew something was wrong. “My mother.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “She said she was ready to leave.”

  His expression told her he understood the import of what she was saying. “Where is she?”

  “Franklin. Franklin, Pennsylvania. It’s past Whedon, then Meadville. Off I-79.”

  “Your family’s that close?” he asked.

  “Distance isn’t only measured in miles. My mother’s been out of reach for most of my life. But now maybe she’s close. I hope. I have to go right now. If he suspects, he’ll—” She didn’t finish the sentence. She’d seen what her father had done to her mother because the coffee wasn’t hot enough, or because she didn’t have his dinner ready, or...hell, simply because it was Monday. “I have to go.”

  “She’s in danger,” he stated, his tone serious.

  She’d have never put it that way, but she knew it was true. “Yes.”

  “I know you’re in a hurry, but let’s tell everyone it’s a family emergency and I’ll come with you.”

  “I should argue. I should tell you I can do it myself, but thank you, Sebastian.” He reached for her hand as they walked toward the house, but she pulled back. For an instant, there was a flash of anger on his face, then he gave the barest of nods and followed her into the apartment.

  She glanced around at her friends and felt her own spurt of anger. She’d never had such friends, and she resented having to possibly hurt their feelings now. A remnant of the shame she once felt as a child, unable to bring anyone over to her house, hung over her.

  But quickly she put that behind her. She had found people she trusted—a family. Yet her parents still messed it up.

  She knew it wasn’t fair.

  She knew that this was
what she’d spent years hoping for.

  “I’m sorry. I’m about to do the rudest thing a host can do.... I’m about to leave. There are salads in the fridge, and the burgers are all ready to be grilled. Colton and Finn, if you’d do that, I’d be grateful. Stay, eat and accept my apologies. I have to go.”

  “Lily?” Mattie asked, a multitude of questions implied in her name.

  “I owe you all an explanation, but it will have to keep. I’ve got to go and Sebastian’s offered to go with me.” She grabbed her purse and tossed her keys on the table. “You’ll lock up?”

  Mattie and Sophie both nodded, then came over and hugged her.

  “Tell us whatever, whenever. We’re here when you need us,” Sophie promised.

  “Yeah, you tell us where to pick up the body and we’ll bury it for you,” Mattie offered. And though it was a very morbid way to say she was the type of friend who’d do anything for a friend, Lily felt a warm glow.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” she said and left, Sebastian right behind her.

  “It’ll be okay, Lil.” He walked so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his body, but he didn’t touch her again and she appreciated it. She was afraid she’d fall apart if he did.

  At her car, he said, “Let me drive, Lily. You’re all shaken up. Just let me help.” And he steered her toward his car instead.

  They rode in silence out of New York State, through North East and back to I-90, heading west. Sebastian didn’t ask a question or say anything, and Lily stared silently out the window. The highway had twists and turns, but there were long stretches when she could see the lake. Normally, she enjoyed the view, but she didn’t really see much of anything today.

  “I’ve always wondered how no one ever reported my father. I’d sit on the swing and listen to the shouting—the neighbors had to have heard it. My father was so loud as he screamed. And my mother would be sporting a new bruise or walking with a limp the next day. How could they not know?”

  “I’m sure they knew,” Sebastian agreed. “But it’s easier for some people if they don’t acknowledge it.”

  “I know where there are women’s shelters. I’ve offered to have her live with me.” All those years, all the drinking, all the bruises. Lily confessed her secret worry. “I can’t imagine what he’s done to push her to the point of leaving.”

  “We’ll be there soon, Lil,” Sebastian vowed.

  “I have exactly one good memory of my father,” she mused, more to herself than to him. “Only one good memory. I was little. Maybe kindergarten. He put up a swing in the backyard off a silver-maple branch. I was so happy. Mom made a picnic, and we ate out in the backyard on a pink-and-yellow quilt, and my father pushed me on that swing. We laughed and we spent the afternoon together, like a real family doing what real families do. I sometimes think that having that one good day was worse than never having known one.”

  “Why?”

  “Because in that memory I can see what we could have been. I can look back at that one day and see what other people had. When I went to school, I’d listen to all the girls talking about new clothes or boys they liked. They’d worry and whine. And I’d wonder what it was like to have your biggest worry be a fancy sweater your parents wouldn’t buy you.”

  “I’m sorry, Lily.”

  “I told this guy I know that there’s the world the way you wish it was or that you even need it to be—”

  “And there’s life the way it is. When you told me that, I thought you were being all Pollyanna.”

  “All sunshiny rainbows.” She was smiling despite the tears.

  “I wish I would have known. Understood. The fact you are who you are, it’s a testament to your strength.”

  “I had to choose,” she told him. “I could be bitter and lament my past, or—”

  “You could be the incredible, warm, loving woman you are.”

  “Thank you. I don’t think you’re right, but thank you.” No, she wasn’t incredible or anything. If she was, she’d have found some way to get her mother out of there sooner. She tried to think of something more she could have done, but was at a loss.

  “I’ve never told anyone about my parents before,” she confessed.

  “No one?”

  “Not even Mattie and Sophie. I’ve thought about telling them for a long time, but I knew Sophie’s heart would break for me, and she shouldn’t suffer anything more than worrying about floral arrangements.”

  “Thanks for sharing.”

  “Thanks for listening. And thanks for coming.”

  * * *

  SEBASTIAN TURNED SOUTH onto I-79. He glanced over at Lily, who was seemingly focused on the scenery. Trees. He’d forgotten there were so many trees in this part of the country. He hadn’t been gone that long. He should have remembered. Along parts of the interstate, they were practically canopied beneath the leaves. They were a spring-fresh, new green. Later in the year, they’d shift to a more tired green, then to the brilliant fall foliage this region was known for.

  He wanted to say something more. He wanted to offer her support. “Not all men are like your dad.”

  “I know. But he wasn’t always like that, either. That day, when we had the picnic and he hung the swing, I got the merest glimpse of the man my mother fell in love with. The man she wanted to marry. Then he changed and she was stuck. I don’t ever want to take a chance like that.”

  “You know what I always liked about you? Your sunshiny-rainbow optimism.”

  “I can’t afford it in this case.”

  “Maybe you can’t afford not to have it in this case. You’ve spent all this time trying to get your mom to safety. Has she ever called like this before?”

  “She’s almost left a couple times, but no, she’s never asked me to come. I call her once a week, you heard, and I’ve worked to keep up a relationship with her. I’ve encouraged her to leave my dad as often as I could.”

  “And now she’s called you. You never gave up and it’s paying off.” He was desperate for her to discover some optimism about her mother. It was so unlike Lily not to be optimistic.

  “I have no idea what she’ll do once we get her out of there. Like I said, perhaps a women’s shelter? Or she can come home with me. I want her to come home with me.” She leaned into him and ran her hand against his forearm. He wanted to reach across and hold her hand, but he didn’t trust his weak hand to steer the car. He settled for welcoming her touch.

  “Thank you. I’ve never had anyone to rely on. And now there’s you, there’s Hank, Mattie and Sophie.”

  “Don’t forget Finn and Colton. And I know for a fact there are more. Miss Helen?”

  She sighed in response. The car got quiet again. He understood that. Saying some things took everything a person had inside them. He knew he had his own emotional baggage he needed to air. And when he thought about people he could tell, he knew that once upon a time, he’d have told Hank, or Colton and Finn. Whereas now, the person he found himself wanting to tell was Lily.

  He knew she still thought he was leaving, that he was “safe” because he wouldn’t be sticking around and demanding a messy relationship with her. He didn’t know exactly what his future would be, but he was positive that whatever it was, it was in Valley Ridge. Lily had taken over the diner’s bookkeeping and she had her patients to care for. She couldn’t keep an eye on Hank all day, every day.

  He needed to tell her his plans, but he couldn’t find the words. Hell, he might as well admit he was afraid she’d turn away from him.

  If he waited long enough, perhaps he could sort of work up to it with her. After Colton’s wedding, she’d realize he wasn’t going anywhere when he didn’t leave. By then he hoped she wouldn’t mind. That she’d see what he was only beginning to realize. They belonged together.

  He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten this lucky. Okay, his arm might never rehabilitate fully and he might be clueless about what he was going to do with the rest of his life, but he was back in Valley Ridge,
back with his friends and with Hank. Hank needed him, and he was able to stay.

  Yes, he was lucky about all that.

  But mainly, he was lucky to have found Lily.

  She might deny it, but they were good for each other.

  Later, he’d tell her. He’d open himself up the way she had to him. Maybe then she’d understand how much he trusted her, and maybe she would understand what they could have together.

  They pulled off I-79 at the Franklin exit. Lily gave him directions through the town to a modest home on a quiet residential street.

  Sebastian didn’t think he’d ever been in Franklin before. “It reminds me of Valley Ridge,” he said.

  “It does. Maybe that’s why I felt so at home there,” Lily mused. “But I was able to be a part of Valley Ridge in a way I could never belong here. I could have friends and relationships.”

  “You couldn’t here?” he asked.

  “No. I kept my head down and I studied. I knew that an education was my only way out.” She took a deep breath, got out of the car and approached the neat brick house.

  Sebastian wasn’t sure why, but he’d expected something run-down. Something that said, An alcoholic lives here.

  But this was a fine home that would easily fit onto any one of Valley Ridge’s streets.

  Lily paused with her hand on the knob of the screen door. “You can wait here.”

  “You’ve trusted me with so much today—trust me to come in with you. I want to be certain your mom can leave with no trouble.”

  Lily smiled weakly and knocked on the front door. A woman answered. There was a ghost of Lily in her features. Dark hair that was sprinkled with streaks of gray. It might be curly like Lily’s if she hadn’t pulled it back into a severe bun. Her eyes were exactly the same color as her daughter’s, but the crinkles at the sides of them were definitely not laugh lines. No, the lines on her face spoke of hard times and grief.

  “Lily, you came.”

  “I said I would, Mom. I always told you that when you were ready I’d come.”

  “I know you said not to pack, but I have a bag with some clothes and another with my photo albums.” She spotted Sebastian and looked startled.