Born Sinner

by Glenna Maynard

  “What did you Trig?”

  “Nothing, didn’t do a damn thing but what needed to be done.” I sigh. I’d do it all over again, but I would’ve cut that motherfucker into pieces and fed him to my fish instead.

  “Goddamn it Trig. This is bad, real fucking bad,” he yells losing his temper. Bob’s actually not my Uncle; he was my mom’s fuck buddy. He has always been good to me though. Saved my ass more times than I can count.

  “Don’t need you to remind me. I’ll handle it. I got shit under control. Wilcox is already on it.”

  “Do I even want to know?”

  “No, be better off not knowing shit all about anything. How soon can you get Opal and me a marriage license?”

  “I’ll work on it, maybe end of the day.”

  “Keep me posted.”

  “Talk soon.” He ends the call. What Bob doesn’t know is that Wilcox already called in a marker. Porter owes our club big. Motherfucker got in a lot of gambling debt. Now it’s time to pay that debt.

  Few of his men are already tailing the van that is transporting the Rev’s body. Gonna be a real shame when the van gets a flat and flips over a barrier, sending the Rev’s body onto the highway to get mangled beyond recognition. A real motherfuckin’ shame.

  Just like clockwork I get a text from Big Momma with a thumb up. Everything is gravy.

  “Why you smiling after what sounded like trouble?” Opal studies me as I slip my shirt over my head.

  “Nothing to worry your pretty head about baby doll, got it all worked out. Club shit, falls under a need to know basis.”

  “Okay Trigger. If you say so. I trust you.” Another reason I love her, she puts her faith in me and doesn’t doubt that I’ll do right by her.

  “So you bought Fischer’s pond. Why?”

  “First time I realized I loved you was right here on this dock. Came here to clear my head. I don’t want to you to be hurt by what I have to say, but I will always be honest with you, when it comes to shit between me and you.”

  I tell her the truth.

  Three years ago, Opal was hardly fifteen, and I was having conflicting thoughts about her. Part of me wanted to just fuck her and get her out of my system. Her age be damned. Fuck, I wanted her in the worst damn way. The church was holding a homecoming revival or some shit. I wasn’t interested in going, but I knew Opal would be there, and damn if wherever she was wasn’t where I wanted to be.

  Big Momma and some of the old ladies had made up some cakes and fried chicken. It just so happened I was volunteered to deliver their goods for them. When I arrived at the church, Opal was there, her smile shining bright in my direction. She was beautiful, dressed in a blue cotton dress that hung off her hips and touched the tops of her knees.

  I remember really seeing the way she looked at me. It tore at my chest. She was infatuated.

  She approached me still grinning, but blushing from ear to ear. So fuckin’ sweet, pure. Everything I wasn’t or had never been. Everything I’d never be, that was Opal Willoughby.

  “Hey, Opal, just wanted to drop these plates off.” I nodded to the containers stacked up well under my chin.

  “We don’t want anything you got,” a wiry voice crowed.

  “Mrs. Collins. Shame on you. I’m gonna ask my daddy to pray for you, because you surely are in desperate need of finding your good graces. The church and my daddy would be ever so grateful for your kindness Trig, yours and the club’s. Just follow me.”

  Opal stood up for me, like I was the best damned man she’d ever seen. She warmed up parts of me, I didn’t know were so damn cold. I followed Opal into the kitchen and she directed me as to where she wanted everything. It was only the two of us.

  “You’ve always been such a sweet thing to me Opal.”

  Her doe eyes melted into mine. It’d been easy to kiss her; we were inches apart. She licked her bottom lip, batting her lashes. My dick twitched, and I took a step closer. My breath was caught in my throat as hers whispered against my lips. One more inch and she’d be mine. Would I be able to stop at one kiss? One taste of her mouth couldn’t hurt, could it?

  My forehead pressed against hers and her fingers brushed through my dark hair.

  “You in here Opal?” I heard her daddy call.

  I took the sound of his voice coming down the hall as my cue to get the hell out of there.

  “Later Opal Willoughby.”

  “Yeah, later,” she whispered as I left the room.

  I passed her old man in the hall, giving him a don’t fuck with me or mine glare. He smiled at me, and I guess I should’ve known something was off.

  However, I only had one thing on my mind. Scratching the itch, the desire I had for Opal. Only she wouldn’t be the one to do the scratching. No, I went to the club and found the first whore I could.

  Heather wasn’t the prettiest club girl, but she had nice tits and big lips. Upstairs in one of the rooms, I had her on her knees ready to suck me off, but I couldn’t go through with it. Opal’s breath was still fresh on my skin. The smell of her perfume was embedded in every fiber of my being. Looking down at heather and her fake blonde hair, I tried to imagine she was my sweet Opal, but it was no use. My dick deflated like a goddamned balloon.

  I had to get away from there, I needed to wash away Opal’s memory. Heather couldn’t understand what she had done wrong. I told her the classic it’s not you it’s me, and she laughed.

  She said, “What’s a matter Trig, can’t get it up?”

  I jerked her up by her hair and shoved her towards the door. “Not for pussy as used up as yours bitch!” I was in a raw ass mood and she picked the wrong shit to say. Truth is I don’t think it would have mattered what she said, I was mad at the fuckin’ world. One woman I wanted, I couldn’t have. I was pissed at myself for thinking about her—Opal, the way that I was. It was like she hexed me, cursed my dick to only ever get hard for her. Voodoo shit, motherfuckin’ voodoo pussy.

  I went for a ride to clear my head. I ended up at the pond. I was sitting on the dock watching the clouds roll by, thinking about life. Thinking about what I wanted. All I knew was that whatever it was I wanted in life, I wanted it to include that goddamn Opal Willoughby and her intoxicating smile.

  I was a goner, she had me and didn’t even know it. Hadn’t even kissed the girl, and I was in fuckin’ love.

  I’d love to pretend that there weren’t other girls, other days I needed to scratch that damn itch, but I did. None of them mattered to me, they weren’t Opal. They’d never be mine, not in the way that Opal would someday be.

  Opal

  Hearing Trigger talk of other women stings, but I get it. He couldn’t have me, not back then. None of that matters, he has me now. And right now, all I wanna do is go home with my man, and shut the rest of the world out.

  I want to pretend there was nothing big about today. I want to pretend that I’m just a girl in love with a man. I don’t want to think about what went down between Trig and the Rev. I don’t want to think about the possibility that my mother may be back in my life in some way.

  All I have ever wanted is to make a baby with Trigger, but what if I turn out like my mother? What if I’m not ready to be a mom? The thought terrifies me, but at the same time I remember, she may have birthed me, but Robyn sure as shit didn’t mold me into who I have grown to be. No, that was all thanks to our not so dearly departed, Sully Willoughby.

  When Trig drives us home the last person I expected to see is sitting on the porch waiting for me. Rhonda Jean.

  “Looks like you got company. You go visit with your girlfriend. I have some calls to make.”

  Walking toward Rhonda Jean, I’m caught off guard when Trig grabs me by my waist, his hand grips my hip possessive, demanding, as his voice grits in my ear sending shivers down my spine, “Don’t ever walk away without giving me a proper kiss Opal.” His teeth nip at the shell of my ear, owning my every thought, before his lips find their way to mine.

  Once he’s walked toward his
garage out of earshot Rhonda Jean waves her hand like a fan. “Oh my word that was hot. Lucky bitch.”

  “I know right. Gah, Rhonda, he’s so good to me. He’s all I ever wanted and more.”

  Taking up the empty spot on the top step next to her, my toes squishing in my boots I ask, “Whatcha doing here? I mean I’m happy to see you, but what’s up?”

  She gives me a duh look. “Um, gee I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that your father died, and you were nowhere to be found. I had a feeling you were with Trig, but my momma heard from her sister Carol at the beauty shop that you were a suspect. People are saying that your daddy forbid you to see Trigger, so the two of you killed him.”

  “Never knew you to be one to believe gossip.”

  “You can’t blame me for being curious, but Opal I’d never think you’d do something like that. You’re my best friend. I care about you and wanted to see that you were okay. And you clearly are.”

  “I’m better than okay. Never been happier.” I beam. Kicking off my shoes, I lean back on my elbows.

  “You’re not even a little sad that the Rev is gone?” Rhonda Jean appears wounded, as though I have disappointed her somehow.

  “Honestly, no.”

  Her brows crinkle as she stares at me with an open mouth. “I know he was strict, but he was still your father,” she chides me.

  “Rhonda Jean, I love you like a sister, but there are things about the Rev that I didn’t tell a soul, including you. Just trust me when I say, we are all better off with that man dead.” I don’t expect her to understand, and I’m not in any mood to explain any of the shit I’ve discovered today to her or anyone. It may be harsh of me, considering Rhonda Jean has been my best friend in the whole world for most of my life, but that’s how things are. I never told her all the horrible shit he did, not the worst of it. She knew about some of the times he whipped me, or when he made me eat cigarettes. She doesn’t know he used to put his hands up my skirt or make me sit in his lap.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes stare off to the trees.

  “I saw my mother today,” I confide surprising myself as well as my friend.

  “You did? How was she? Where has she been?”

  “She’s fine I suppose. Been shacked up with some biker all this time. You were wrong Rhonda Jean; she did leave me. She never wanted me.”

  “Oh, Opal, I’m so sorry. You don’t need her. You never did.” She bumps her knee against mine, and I know that deep down she’s still on my side. Not that I ever doubted our friendship. “So, what now? Where do you go after all this? You and Trig a sure thing?”

  “He wants to marry me. Possibly even today.” I grin.

  “Seriously? Married, you just got with him last night!”

  “I know, but you don’t know how long Trig has been waiting for me. He loves me Rhonda Jean. I mean he really loves me.” I sigh, remembering just how much he was loving me thirty minutes ago.

  “Don’t you want to…I don’t know, get to know him before you go around declaring your undying love and talking about a marriage proposal? I know you said you didn’t want to go to college, but marriage? Come on Opal, you can’t be serious?”

  While I’m arguing with my oldest friend about my future Officer Wayne pulls into the driveway once more. Hearing the tires on the gravel, Trigger walks out of his garage with a grim face.

  “Back so soon,” Trig greets him with a not so friendly look in his eyes.

  “Could the two of you give me a moment with Opal?”

  Trig shakes his head as he rubs his hand over his head. Rhonda Jean shrugs, but looks to me.

  “Whatever you want to say to me, now’s as good as time as any. Trigger and Rhonda Jean can hear whatever it is you’ve come to say.”

  “All right,” he states not moving any closer to the porch. He’s staying close to his car. “Opal, I’ve always known you to be a good kid.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he takes a deep breath. “If there is anything you want to tell me. Now’s the time to do so. You don’t have to be scared.” A second patrol car pulls into the driveway. Backup.

  “What are you getting at? I done told you everything. Do I need to get an attorney?”

  Trigger takes a step toward me.

  Officer Wayne draws his weapon. “Don’t move Trigger. Got no problem putting a hole in you son.”

  Trigger holds his hands up and keeps walking to me. “Just wanna stand next to my woman. I promised her she’d always be safe with me. You pointing your gun at us, ain’t making me look good.”

  “Damn it Trigger,” Officer Wayne curses him.

  Trigger reaches me, and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding when he wraps a protective arm around my shoulders.

  “We found your journals.”

  My head spins, they read my fears along with my hopes and dreams–my fantasies of killing my father…killing Rev with his own gun.

  “What’s he talking bout Opal?” Trig asks me, and I can’t seem to find my voice.

  “Opal, you’re gonna have to come to the station with me.”

  “Okay,” I squeak.

  “No!” Trigger barks holding me from taking a step.

  “Trigger, she’s not under arrest. Just need her for questioning. You can follow us to the station if you like, but one way or another she’s coming in with me.”

  “Trig, it’s okay. We have nothing to hide. I just wrote about my life. That’s all,” I say trying to hold strong, but my voice is cracking. Truth is I’m scared. What if they find a way to accuse me?

  “Give me one hour and I’ll bring her in,” my man demands.

  “Can’t do that Trigger. Can’t risk you hiding her.”

  Trig tightens his hold on me, and I turn into him. “Let me go with them. Don’t make it harder than it already is for me to walk away from you.” A tear slips from my eye as Trig kisses my forehead.

  Trigger

  Watching Opal get into the back of the cruiser kills me. She was right though, she has nothing to worry about, she did nothing wrong. Bob should’ve known they were coming, unless he was kept out of this case for a reason. That motherfucker knows everything that goes on in our small town.

  Before I can call him, Opal’s friend speaks up. “What do we do now?”

  “You want to help Opal?”

  “Of course. She’s my best friend,” she scoffs kicking at the gravel.

  “Did Opal ever tell you about the things Rev did to her?”

  “I know he was strict, made her eat a cigarette once.”

  “Well if you want to help Opal, go to the station and back her up. Not my place to tell you shit, but just have her back.”

  “Always. I’ll do what I can.”

  I start for my bike and she adds on, “She’ll be fine Trigger.”

  All I can do is nod; I know she will be. I’ll burn the station down if I must to get to her.

  Opal is mine.

  First thing I do is put in a call to Wilcox.

  “Talk to me,” he says gruffly.

  “On my way to the police station, Opal’s been brought in for questioning.”

  “Fucking hell. What for?”

  “Apparently, they found her diary or some shit. Thinking they want to try and nail her, or use her to nail me.”

  “You gonna need your passport brother?”

  “Fuck no. Opal is a smart cookie. She knows what to do. Just can’t stand the thought of those nosy bastards asking her about shit I know she doesn’t wanna revisit.”

  “Whatever you need, either of you, say the word,” he tells me.

  “I know brother, let me know if anything comes your way.”

  “Do what you need to Trig, we got you son.”

  I know they do.

  They always do.

  Opal

  Interrogation sucks. Having my deepest thoughts on display in front of strange men sucks more. Everything Rev did to me, I wrote about it in my notebooks. I needed someone to confide in, someone to k
eep my secrets and share my dreams with.

  Officer Wayne and his partner are sitting across the table from me, gawking at me like a sideshow display. Like I’m the damn bearded lady.

  “What?” I huff. “You think staring at me like that is gonna make me tell you the shit you’ve obviously read about me already. Do I need to get a lawyer?”

  “Do you feel like you need a lawyer Opal?”

  “I feel like you need to start asking whatever it is you want to know. You want me to tell you how the good ol Rev took me over his knee and spanked me while his dick pressed against my stomach. Or would you rather I tell you about all the times he fucked me or made me pray to his cock. Your choice Officer.” I smile smugly as the other officer goes pale. “What reading about it was okay, but me talking about what that piece of shit did to me isn’t?”

  “Why didn’t you tell someone if he was…”

  “If he was fucking me?” My brow arches in his direction as I finish his question for him. “I tried. Told Darlene about it. She didn’t want to hear it though. No one did.”

  “What about your mother?” Officer Wayne asks.

  “What mother? You’re free to call her, but she never wanted me.”

  “Opal, we want to help you, but you gotta give us something. Was there anyone, anyone at all that can back up your claims?”

  I shake my head; I’m not dragging Trig into this any further. They never need to know about his visit to the Rev.

  “How long you been involved with Trigger Jennings?”

  “I’ve known him since I was just a girl.”

  “Did he kill the Rev for you?”

  “No!” I shout. “I think I’ll be calling an attorney now. I know my rights. Rights that everyone turned their back on while I was being raped and beaten by a man who was supposed to treat me as a daughter. A supposed man of God!”

  “Supposed to be. You saying Reverend Willoughby wasn’t your father Opal?”

  “I’m done talking about him. Are you gonna arrest me, or can I go home now?”

  “Excuse us a moment.”

  “Why not? Apparently, I’m not going anywhere.” I motion around the room sweeping my arms across the table, knocking my notebooks, my exposed secrets to the floor.