Desire Unleashed [Desire, Oklahoma 9] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Leah Brooke

  Instead, he sighed. “I know, and I’m sorry for it. I haven’t given you what you need from me these last few months, have I, baby?”

  His lips twisted. “My only excuse is that I’m scared, Nat.” Holding her gaze, he sighed. “I’m scared to death of losing you.”

  “That could never happen. I can’t imagine not loving you.” Too nervous to sit still, she started to get up, cursing when Jake grabbed her arm and pulled her to land heavily against him.

  Overcoming her struggles with frustrating ease, Jake pulled her onto his lap. “You’re not going anywhere. Let me finish, damn it!”

  “Then finish!” Nat’s temper dissolved at the anguish on her husband’s face. “I’m sorry. Tell me, Jake. Please.”

  “Don’t you think I’m trying?” He scrubbed a hand over his face in a rare sign of frustration. “I’m probably going to screw this up, but you’re staying right where you are until I get it all out.”

  “Fine. Just do it.” Shaken by her usually controlled husband’s demeanor, Nat waited, her nerves stretching to the breaking point as she watched his inner struggle.

  Jake sighed again, his sharp gaze holding hers. “Hoyt’s retiring.”

  A gasp escaped before she could prevent it, and it took every ounce of willpower she possessed to show only mild interest.

  At least she hoped she only showed mild interest.

  The jolt to her system made her heart pound furiously and affected her breathing. She fought to hide it, ashamed of herself for still having feelings for the man who’d been out of her life for years. “Is that who all those private calls and text messages have been from? What the hell does that have to do with us?”

  Hoyt.

  Her first lover.

  Her son’s father.

  The man who’d held a piece of her heart ever since he’d first captured it.

  The image of the way he’d looked the last time she saw him rose in her mind—her stomach fluttering when she remembered the pain and resignation in his eyes.

  Jake’s eyes sharpened. “There it is.”

  Running a hand over her hair, he lifted her face to his, tightening his hold when she would have pulled away. “You would never have said anything about it, but it’s there. It hasn’t dimmed at all, has it, baby?”

  Ashamed of herself, she averted her gaze, fighting the surge of panic that made her stomach roll. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Nothing mattered except what she had with Jake. Nothing could ever be allowed to come between them.

  His lips thinned. “You know Hoyt and I have always been close. We’ve spoken on and off over the last several years, but much more in the last few months.”

  Nat frowned, fighting not to show any emotion as she struggled to understand where this was going. “Oh?”

  Jake rubbed his hand up and down her back, the way he did when she was upset about something. Lifting her chin, he regarded her steadily, his hand still moving in a slow rhythm as if he worked to loosen the tight muscles in her back she hadn’t wanted him to know about. “He used to come and visit every chance he got, but he stopped coming a few years ago.” His eyes sharpened on hers. “You’ve never mentioned it—never asked about it. That’s not like you. The more I thought about it, the more it shook me. You want to tell me why you never mentioned it?”

  Sitting on his lap, she found it difficult to avoid his gaze—a maneuver she recognized well. Spinning her wedding ring around her finger, Nat shrugged, trying not to think about those visits from Hoyt—visits that had been both heaven and hell for her. “I figured he stopped coming by because he got busy. I assumed he had a girlfriend.”

  She’d lost a lot of sleep thinking about Hoyt in the arms of another woman, something that both shamed and infuriated her.

  He used to visit every chance he got and especially made a point to visit at the holidays whenever possible. Over the last three years, he hadn’t spent his vacation time with them, and had missed every holiday.

  Holidays had been hell for her because she’d imagined him spending them with another woman.

  Leaning forward, Jake took her left hand in his, staring down at it as he ran his thumb back and forth over her wedding band. “No. He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Lifting his gaze to hers, he lifted a brow. “I think you know why he stopped coming around. The fact that you haven’t discussed it with me has given me quite a few sleepless nights.”

  Her stomach fluttered, nerves making her too restless to sit still. Yanking her hand out of his, she jumped to her feet. “I have no idea why he stopped coming around. Hey!”

  Jake tumbled her to the sofa, covering her body with his, and lying full length over her. “Be still.” Using his weight to press her to the cushions, he ran his fingers through her hair, his eyes hard and cool. “We’re not done here.”

  Nat knew that tone well, a tone that sent a chill of alarm up her spine. Her alarm intensified when he gripped both of her wrists in one hand and lifted them over her head, holding them there with a firm grip she knew she wouldn’t be able to shake.

  Dealing with Jake in this mood was dangerous.

  The very real fear of revealing too much made her defensive. Knowing that the best defense was a good offense, she gathered every bit of anger she could muster. “Get the fuck off of me.”

  With his face just inches from hers, he stared into her eyes, his grip on her chin not allowing her to look away. “You’re scared. Interesting.” He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, making it tingle. “Hoyt stopped coming around because seeing you and not being able to have you hurt him too much.”

  The knots in her stomach tightened, her breath catching with both panic and exhilaration.

  Heaven and Hell.

  “No.”

  Jake’s eyes flickered, telling her just how much she’d given away.

  She should have known he’d see.

  His sharp eyes missed nothing.

  “Yes.” Jake’s smile held a hint of desperation that fueled her own. “He wants you, Nat. I’ve always known that, although both of you tried your best to deny what you felt and hide it from me.” Running his thumb over her bottom lip, he sighed. “He knows about Desire, and he knows why I moved us here shortly after we got married.”

  Shaking everywhere, Nat swallowed heavily, struggling for composure. “Of course he knows about Desire. He’s been here several times. What are you trying to say? I thought we moved here because you liked that people could live as they wanted, and it was a great place to relocate your store.”

  “We never discussed it, but you knew.” Pressing his cock against her mound, Jake used his powerful thighs to push hers wider. “You knew why I moved us here. You knew that both of us loved you. You love both of us. You only married me because Hoyt had already signed up for the service and would be leaving.”

  Running his free hand over her hair, Jake smiled, the tenderness making her eyes sting with tears. “You and I talked about it. We’ve always been honest with each other, Nat.”

  Sliding his hand to her breast, he unerringly found her nipple, his smile widening when she jolted and cried out. “You also liked what I could do for you in bed. We clicked, didn’t we? But I knew that Hoyt was devastated. I moved us here because I knew that one day he’d be back for you. I knew that he’d never be satisfied with another woman. I knew that one day we would share you, because I sure as hell wasn’t about to give you up. The thought of sharing you with him even excited me—at first.”

  Trembling helplessly, Nat writhed beneath him, her mind spinning. “You never told me that, and I sure as hell didn’t marry you just because you were good in bed. We didn’t even have sex until after I had Joe. Oh!”

  Digging her heels into the sofa cushions, Nat arched, pressing herself against him, the sharp pinch to her nipple making her clit swell.

  Anger and fear became desire in a heartbeat. “What do you mean—at first?”

  Jake fisted a hand in the hem of her sweater, stripp
ing her out of it with a roughness that thrilled her and suited her mood. Holding her wrists above her head again, he tore open the front closure of her bra, baring her breasts to his gaze. Closing his thumb and forefinger over her nipple, his eyes narrowed. “I’ve always known that he was your first choice, but I was glad to have any part of you that I could get. The thought of sharing you with him excited me, especially when I thought about how much pleasure we could give you together.”

  Nat sucked in a breath at the sharp stab of lust, struggling to clear her head. “I love you, Jake. You know how much I love you, damn it!”

  Jake smiled faintly, his eyes laser sharp. “Oh, I know you do. But I always knew that you loved Hoyt. You still do.”

  “No!” Panicked now, Nat began to struggle, too afraid of what he saw in her eyes. “You’re wrong.”

  His eyes, dark with fury, narrowed to slits, his jaw clenching as his fingers tightened on her nipple. “Don’t you ever fucking lie to me again.”

  Crying out, Nat writhed against him, the sharp pinch sending arrows of need clawing through her.

  She’d never seen him like this before.

  The power surrounding him, the power he’d always kept on a very tight leash, and that she’d only seen hints of over the years, broke free, the force of it nothing short of astonishing.

  God, she wanted him.

  Her pussy clenched in desperation, her panties already soaked. “Jake, please!”

  Lust seemed too tame a word for what she felt now, need boiling inside her like a living, breathing thing that threatened to consume her.

  Brushing his lips over hers, Jake slid his palm over her nipple, his eyes glittering with erotic intent. “Oh, I’ll please you, my love. But, we’re not quite done yet, are we?”

  Nat couldn’t stop shaking, her body screaming for release.

  Jake knew her too well. He knew how to stroke her to make her mindless with need, and knew what the combination of silky voice laced with threat would do to her. He knew how his demanding touch ripped away her defenses, leaving her weak and trembling under his hands.

  “Jake—” She sucked in a breath at the feel of his hand sliding into the front of her jeans, and with a hard pull, yanked them down to her knees.

  “Hoyt wants you. He wants to share you with me. He wants you to belong to both of us.”

  Nat sucked in another breath when he ripped her panties from her, desperate for him to listen to her—desperate for him to take her. “Jake, I want you. I love you!”

  Jake smiled, tossing her panties aside as he stretched out full length on top of her, leaning slightly to the side. “Yes, you do.”

  Running his hands over her breasts, teasing one nipple and then the other with a slow caress, Jake held her gaze. “But, you also love him.” Shaking his head when she would have spoken, he smiled again. “Did you think I couldn’t see it? I know you tried to protect my feelings by trying to hide it from me, but don’t you know, my darling wife, that I know everything about you?”

  Running a fingertip down the center of her body, he traced a pattern on her belly. “Did you really think you could hide anything from me?”

  His fingers slid lower, the slow decadent caress over her bare mound sending trails of sizzling heat to her nipples and slit. In contrast to the havoc he created inside her, Jake continued to speak in a deceptively casual tone.

  “I’ve always known you would have married Hoyt. I’ve always understood that. I’ve always known that you love him.”

  Nat couldn’t hold back a cry when Jake ran a firm finger over her clit, her entire body shaking with the need to come. “I love you! Oh, Jake!” Groaning in frustration when his fingers caressed her mound again, she dug her heels into the cushions, desperate for his touch.

  Jake gripped her jaw, turning her face toward his. “I won’t let you go. You’re mine, Nat. You’re mine, and you’re staying that way.”

  “Yes!” Relieved that she’d gotten through to him, Nat lifted her hips, silently begging him to take her.

  Covering her body with his, he toyed with her nipple, his gaze steady on hers. “When Hoyt told me he was coming here to see if there was a chance that the three of us could build a life together, I told him to go fuck himself. All of this passion belongs to me.”

  His eyes narrowed and sharpened. “He wants the three of us to be a family, Nat. His family. We’re the only family he has. He says he can’t start the rest of his life without knowing. Now, I find that I have to know, too. I have to let this play out, or it’ll always be between us, won’t it? I won’t allow anything to stand between us. Anything. Ever.”

  Jake unfastened his jeans and shoved them to his knees, fisting his cock as he looked into her eyes. “God help me, Nat, but I have to know if you belong to me no matter what. I have to know if you’d choose him over me.”

  Covering her body again, he forced her thighs wide and thrust his cock deep inside her with a force that stole her breath.

  Thrilled her.

  His tortured gaze tugged at her heart, his hold fierce as if he wanted to absorb her. “I always knew you loved him, and that one day this might happen, but now that it is, I’m scared to death of losing you.” He took her hard and fast, the desperation in his lovemaking igniting fires inside her that only he could extinguish.

  Crying out in pleasure, and elated that the emotional and physical intimacy had been reestablished between them, Nat wrapped her legs tightly around him to hold him to her. “Never. You’ll never lose me. I’m yours, Jake. I’ll always be yours. No matter what.”

  Staring down into her eyes, he took her with a fierce possessiveness that forced her over with a ruthlessness that sent her senses reeling.

  His lovemaking fulfilled the primitive need raging inside her—the need to be taken.

  Shaking with pleasure, she rippled around him as wave after wave of incredible bliss washed over her.

  Jake always seemed to know just what she needed.

  He continued to thrust into her, watching her face, his own features harder than she’d ever seen them. “Yes. Come for me. You’re mine, Nat. Forever. I’ll never let you go.”

  With a harsh groan, he tightened his hand on hers and surged deep, his cock pulsing inside her. Throwing his head back, he groaned again, surging impossibly deeper.

  Fascinated and humbled by Jake’s response, Nat arched closer, desperate for him to believe her. “I’ll never let you go, either. We belong to each other.”

  With another groan, Jake released her hands and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Lifting her against him, he buried his face in her hair, his big body shaking. “You’re everything to me. Christ, woman, I’d die if I lost you.”

  Trembling, Nat held on to the only solid thing in her world.

  Tears burned her eyes, and at that moment, she had a renewed appreciation for the close bond she shared with her husband.

  Threading her fingers into his silky hair, Nat squeezed her eyes closed against the tears that threatened, ripples of both pleasure and nerves warring inside her. “Tell him not to come here.” Her voice had a catch in it, and she had to swallow before she could continue. “We’re perfect the way we are.”

  Jake lifted his head and pushed the damp hair back from her face. His eyes, always so dark and mysterious, had an uncertainty and distance in them that told her how badly this had shaken him.

  Nothing ever shook Jake.

  He brushed his lips over hers, his smile distant. “Are we? Will everything still be perfect with this cloud of doubt hanging over us?”

  Sliding her hands to his biceps, Nat gripped the hard muscle, afraid that she wouldn’t get through to him. “Jake, I love you. We don’t need this.”

  Shaking his head, Jake sighed. “I think I do. I know Hoyt does. He needs to know if there’s a chance that he could become part of a family with the only woman he’s ever loved—with a woman he’s never been able to get over. You love him, Nat.”

  Trailing his fingers over her che
ek, he stared into her eyes. “And you miss him.”

  Knowing that Jake would see through any lie, Nat sighed. “I miss him, but nothing’s as important as us.”

  Cupping the back of her head, he lifted her face to his and brushed his lips over hers again. “There’s nothing more important to me than making you happy. I see your eyes when he visits and whenever we talk about him. I’ve never been able to deny you anything, and I won’t be responsible for keeping you from Hoyt.”

  Sliding his cock free, he released her, got to his feet, and refastened his jeans. “I can’t—won’t—stop this. I need to know how this will affect us. I don’t want anything between us. No secrets, Nat. Ever. No regrets. No recriminations. I couldn’t stand it if you resented me for standing in the way of your happiness.”

  “No!” Nat jumped to her feet and gripped his arm again. “I won’t resent you! You’re not standing in my way. I want you! You are my happiness.” She fixed her bra, glaring up at him. “I sure as hell wouldn’t share you with another woman.”

  Jake threw his head back and laughed, running a hand over her bare ass. “That’s not an issue. God, I really do adore you.”

  Turning away, she went to retrieve her clothes, shaking at the thought of seeing Hoyt again. Grimacing at her ripped panties, she tossed them aside before sliding her jeans back on. “Just call him and tell him that we talked about it, and I’m not interested.”

  Nat kept her gaze lowered as she fastened her jeans, fearing what Jake would see in her eyes.

  She loved Jake—more than she thought she could ever love a man. A mature love, one that grew stronger every day, and she wouldn’t risk it for anything.

  “Nat.” Jake lifted her chin. “If you didn’t have feelings for him, I would turn him away. But that’s not the case. He needs to know how this would play out, and so do I.” His eyes narrowed. “If you’re honest with yourself, you do, too. Besides, Hoyt has a right to know his son.”

  Nat stilled, her heart pounding furiously at the subject that she and Jake almost never touched on. “Joe’s your son. Our son.”