by Fiona Murphy
Javier was waiting for her when she came in the doors of the restaurant. The hostess knew her and showed them to a table.
“So beautiful you are looking today, and that’s why Rafael gets so cranky with me. Still I cannot help it. If something is beautiful to not acknowledge it seems a sin. Talk to me, tell me how you have been in the last month. Rafael becomes a cranky bear when I ask about you.”
Carrie frowned. “Sometimes, Javier, I don’t get your brother. Is he jealous or angry and if he’s angry about what?”
Javier lost his easy smile and took a thoughtful sip of wine. “I was hoping to find out by talking you. It’s usual for Rafael to be tight-lipped but to barely mention you at all. That is not like him either, I was wondering if something had happened between you. Yet, still he is happy and you seem miserable. I have to say I don’t like this at all.”
Their food came and Carrie tried to do justice to the good food but she found it hard and was pushing the food around on her plate.
“Javier, you naughty boy! You tell your mother no to lunch that you are working through it and here I find you with a beautiful young woman. Introduce me to your girlfriend, this instant.” The woman was absolutely beautiful and looked Rafael’s age, not nearly old enough to be his mother.
She saw Rafael’s lips and where he got his hazel eyes. The woman carried herself proudly but her smile was welcoming and warm.
“Mother, this isn’t my girlfriend. How did you find out where I was?”
“Please, Javier, you are a creature of habit. It was either here or the sushi place a block over. If she isn’t your girlfriend, then who is she?”
“She’s Rafael’s woman, mother. Please don’t start. I didn’t tell Rafael we were having lunch, he’s very protective of what’s his.”
“Well, I can tell why, she’s very beautiful but of his own brother, how silly. For the love of all that his holy, introduce me this instant.”
“Mother, this is Carrie Whitney, Carrie this is my mother Elizabeth Castillo.”
The woman held out her hand which had also somehow managed to be free of wrinkles and Carrie took it without thinking. “Hello, dear, my goodness, Rafael always did have exquisite taste. Tell me dear, are you from Dallas?”
“No, Mrs. Castillo, I’m originally from a small town Iowa. My mother moved us to Houston when I was five and I went to Austin to go to school.”
“Oh, that’s interesting. What is your degree in?”
“Actually, I didn’t get a chance to finish it. I had to quit school to take care of my little brothers. Then I got into property management, I manage the building Rafael lives in.”
“No degree at all? Still, it sounds like you committed yourself to a much more important undertaking. How very admirable of you dear.”
“It was me or the foster care system and I couldn’t let it happen. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.”
“Hmm, tell me dear, how long have you and Rafael been an item? I can’t help wondering how he’s been able to hide you from me for so long. He was very poorly behaved at my dinner party two weeks ago but he didn’t mention you at all.”
“If Rafael didn’t mention me then maybe I shouldn’t be discussing us. I’ll let him tell you what he thinks is important.” The alarm went off on her phone and she bit back a sigh of relief. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work. Thank you for lunch, Javier. Mrs. Castillo, it was very nice to meet you.”
“Darling, please call me Bitsy. All my friends do.” The woman stood and opened her arms for a hug. Carrie was too scared to insult her by refusing. It was an oddly warm hug, from everything she had heard of the woman from Rafael it wasn’t what she was expecting at all.
With a wave Carrie left on numb legs. She was going to hear about this from Rafael, she just knew it.
Oddly, that night there was no mention of it. No mention of her having lunch with Javier or meeting his mother, not by a look or a single word was it discussed at all. Carrie wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad at Rafael not wanting to talk about it.
A month later Carrie wasn’t feeling well and after she had another sneezing fit at the front desk she agreed with Oliver, she should be in bed. Once she was back in her apartment, she changed into a long lost pair of pajamas and climbed into bed. For a moment the thought of taking something to help her sleep crossed her mind. Lately, her time alone was filled with worry about the testing now getting closer and closer. Even the holidays which were usually a busy and stressful time had been pushed further back in her mind. Thanksgiving was coming up in just a week and she hadn’t planned a thing. Every time she even thought about it she would wonder if it would be their last pleasant Thanksgiving. Would next year she be doing chemo or going through surgery or something else filling the twins with fear. Then she would have to pretend like everything was fine when she was going to be just as scared as them?
Their Thanksgivings weren’t normally something they made a big deal about anyway. Carrie had tried but she wasn’t the best cook, she could do mashed potatoes and a not bad Turkey but stuffing was out of the box as was gravy. A few years ago she’d gone to doing a pot roast with vegetables and pumpkin pie. The twins had loved it, she did pot roast very well. Then they would go out and see a movie and she usually had to work the next day so she was in bed at her normal time and the twins would stay up late playing video games.
The law firm that Javier had directed her to had called again to ask about when she would be ready to have papers drawn up. They had been so easy to work with and they had cost far more than she had thought they would. At first they had seemed hesitant but then when she’d given Javier’s name they had nearly fallen over themselves to assist. A payment plan had been set up and the discussions had began. They had helped her pick out the right insurance and guided her through forming a trust and the rules of the trust. The lawyer and paralegal had taken their time with her and thoroughly explained everything and why they suggested what they did. The only thing they believed needing done now was to draw up guardianship of the twins upon her death. She knew she needed to talk to Bethany about custody of the twins, it wasn’t that she doubted Bethany for a moment. There was just a part of her wimping out from having the discussion.
Shaking her head, she tried to wipe the words away but couldn’t, these were things she needed to settle. The lawyer had been matter of fact, it was more likely she could die in a car accident than cancer. Especially if the cancer was caught early, there had been no pats on the shoulders, this was the business of life and death, preparing for when she wasn’t around anymore.
Hearing the front door open, fear licked at her stomach until she heard Rafael calling her name.
“In bed, I’ve got a cold I think. Don’t come any closer, I don’t want you to get sick too.”
He laughed as he picked her up, covers and all. “I don’t get sick. I checked your refrigerator and cupboards, no soup, no orange juice. I’m taking you upstairs, I can take care of you easier up there.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Even as she whispered the words her neck was too weak to hold her up and she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Shh, mi dulce, your throat sounds like it hurts.”
Carrying her into his bedroom, he made sure she was settled and comfortable then told her he was going to make her some hot tea. Looking around the room it hadn’t changed at all since the one and only time she’d been here after he’d been gone for three weeks. She told herself it didn’t matter, he spent all his nights with her. Besides, she was here now, Rafael had come home in the middle of the day to take care of her.
“Here we go, drink the tea down. It’ll soothe your throat and help you rest. Come on, a little more, almost done.” His hand ran across her forehead. “Hmm, you are warm, when did you start feeling bad?”
“This morning, I just felt really tired and lethargic. Then I started sneezing and coughing.” His cool hand felt good against her skin.
“Okay, l
ay back and try and sleep. Let’s let the fever try and break itself and if in a few hours it doesn’t or gets worse, I’ll give you something for it.” He began to move away from the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“I was going to work on my laptop in my office.”
“Oh.” She tried not to sound as disappointed as she felt and closed her eyes. Then she felt the bed dip and heard the clunk of his shoes came off.
“Alright, I’ll help you fall asleep but no funny business, you need your rest.” He sounded stern, she laughed as she snuggled into him.
It felt so good to be in his arms, his jacket and tie were gone and he had undone the top two buttons of his shirt. He smelled delicious and she was asleep in only minutes.
When she woke up it was to the sound of beeping. Rafael wasn’t in bed and the clock told her that she had been asleep for over two hours. She felt better, her head wasn’t pounding and her throat still ached but wasn’t as painful as it had been. The beeping drew her attention to the bedside table, it was Rafael’s phone. Wondering if it was an important text she swiped and unlocked the phone.
It was his calendar, a twinge of happiness went through her. He had a meeting scheduled for today, he’d missed it for her. Then she looked down at next week and she had wondered what if anything he was doing for Thanksgiving. It looked like he would be in Houston with his grandfather, father and Javier. There was a small part of her sad he hadn’t discussed his plans with her. A tiny evil gremlin had her swiping to see what his plans for Christmas were. But her eyes never made it that far because all she could see was, break things off with Carrie. She was pretty sure her heart stopped beating and then it started again, angry and throbbing in her head. Tapping on the day a small part of her felt relief, he had typed it in the day after they had slept together for the first time. He had been running scared, that was the only reason he had did it. Right?
She heard clattering in the kitchen, with a swipe she made the calendar disappear and tossed the phone back on the table.
“Hey, how are you feeling? Are you up for some soup and more tea? Good, here, no need to get up. I’ve had these trays forever and never used them for anything but to work on my laptop in bed. Settle back and eat.
I wanted to ask you about something. When I was looking through your cupboards I saw your mail. Why did you have a bill from Grayson and McMurry? They’re an estate law firm, why would you need to see them?”
Fuck, buying time she sipped her tea and shrugged. “No big deal, after I had to sign all the paperwork and finding out about the free insurance your company provides it got me thinking, that was all. For a long time I was out of work and then moving here to Dallas, being alone with the twins. In Austin, there was Bethany and her parents, they were great. I know if anything happened to me then they would take care of them. Then it reminded me of how hard it had been when I was suddenly responsible for two kids without financial help. My mom didn’t have insurance. If something happens to me then I want whoever takes them, probably Bethany to have help. That’s all.”
Finishing up the tea, she concentrated on the soup. It was clear he was thinking about what she said and if he bought it or not. Then he shrugged, “Those things are important and it’s good you’re thinking about them. Odd, since you’re only twenty six but you have been far more wiser than many people twice your age.
Eat your soup. It feels like your temperature broke, good. Once you’re ready, I’ll take you back downstairs so you’re in bed when the twins get home from school.
Tomorrow you are taking the day off and you’re going to sleep in and rest. No errands, no running around. Today you got well so quickly because your body is giving you warning. If you don’t rest you’ll get sick fast and you won’t get well so easily. I’ll call Linda and see if she can come in, if she can’t I’ll have a temp called in.”
Nodding, she finished the soup. She was glad he hadn’t seen through her, in all these months he hadn’t picked up her fear and which was good. There was no need to worry him over something that might not happen.
So why did she feel like if he truly cared and knew her, he’d know she was lying and detected her fear months ago?
Chapter Eighteen
“What do you mean Carrie and the twins aren’t coming to Thanksgiving? What are you going to do, wait until you two are married to introduce her to grandpa?” Javier wasn’t joking, he loved his brother but the way he was treating Carrie was so unlike him and Javier didn’t like it.
“This is my life, it’s none of your damn business.”
“Your life, but you’re clinging to ideals grandpa and mother talk about. I love grandpa, I really do. I know without him that we wouldn’t have had the care and attention we got from him instead of the revolving door nannies. I appreciate the education he paid for and I could take anywhere but I also think that maybe we wouldn’t have had to pay the price. The price you pay by working so hard all the damn time with so many responsibilities on your shoulders. The price of expectation that you are trying so hard to fit into.
You say this is your life, then why the fuck aren’t you living it that way. It doesn’t matter if mother or grandpa approve of your wife, what matters is do you? You’re the one who’s going to have to sleep with her at night and wake up to her every morning. Would you really rather do that with anyone but Carrie?” Shaking his head, his disgust was clear and he slammed out of Rafael’s office in a way he hadn’t in years.
Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Fuck, he just didn’t know anymore. The only time he could think rationally was when he wasn’t with Carrie or thinking about the way she was with him. The irrational anger he was sure would go away at the thought of sharing her hadn’t diminished as much as he’d hoped it would. His resentment of the twins had fallen away and he’d grown to miss them when they weren’t around. He still wasn’t ready to share Carrie and change things from the way they were when he loved having Carrie as his alone.
Then there was the problem that lately Carrie had seemed different. At times he’d felt her tense with worry, waking up in the middle of the night to find her staring unseeing into the darkness. Like a coward he hadn’t asked because he was afraid it was about them and their undefined relationship. Then when she got sick, he’d done what he was thought was the right thing and came home to take care of her. At first she’d been happier than he’d seen her weeks but then she’d grown quiet and there was a reserve he had never felt with her before. It was throwing him off, did he dare ask her and the twins to go with him and his family to Houston the day after tomorrow?
His father was being his usual asshole self and making everyone come to him. Matteo wouldn’t be coming in from Baltimore and Santos, his nephew, was spending it with his girlfriend in New Haven where they both lived. The plan was to drive down Wednesday and stay until Saturday. He wasn’t looking forward to the over three hour drive with his grandfather and brother, Carrie would probably want to climb the walls. The twins would probably hate it but that wasn’t a real excuse. The truth was he wanted Carrie all to himself, he didn’t want to share her with anyone, not his grandfather or father or even Javier.
Chapter Nineteen
“Come on Carrie, we promise we won’t break them. It sucks you have to work and all. My parents really miss the twins, I’ll make sure they won’t get too spoiled.”
“If you guys are sure you want them the entire four days then I won’t turn you down. I’m only worried you haven’t thought it through. I’ll talk to the twins, they’ll love it. Dang, I’m running late, I have to go. I’ll call you tonight okay?”
Damn, her hair was a mess. She didn’t have time to spend on it, a few passes of the flat iron and she decided to go with a slick bun. Oliver was waiting already dealing with Ms. Hopkins who was upset that her condo still wasn’t leasing. Oliver was explaining, again, she was asking too much. Pointing toward the door of her office, Carrie nodded and was surprised to see Linda waiting for her.
“Hi, Carrie, I hate to bother you.”
“Linda, you know you’re no bother. I thought you and Dick were leaving for the cruise today.”
“We were supposed to, only Dick fell down the stairs yesterday. Oh, he’s fine, more or less but his back is done in and he broke his wrist. Now he’s going to be off work for more than a month and so close to Christmas. I was hoping I could work on Thanksgiving and the day after. As Mr. Castillo declares both days a holiday then I could get time and a half. Also, you have been so kind to work with me on just working part-time and I would appreciate being able to pick up more hours.”
“I’m sorry to hear about Dick but glad it wasn’t as bad as it could have been and of course if you want to work more hours you can. As for Thanksgiving that will work out just fine, I’m salary so I don’t get paid hourly. I was just working to give you and Oliver some time off.”
“Thank you so much Carrie, you are such a sweetheart.”
“You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything else, okay.’
“I will.”
Carrie walked her out of her office glad she could give Linda the help she so obviously needed.
That night the twins were so hyped up over going to Austin it was hard to get them to bed. So hard she had to text Rafael to give her another half hour as the twins wouldn’t settle. The twins adored Wendy and Mike, Bethany’s parents and were excited at the thought of seeing them again. They were also proud of how well they were doing in school and band. Right now they were debating taking their instruments and Carrie couldn’t take the arguing anymore.
“That’s it, no, you aren’t taking your instruments. You’re leaving them here with half of the stuff you want to take. You need some jeans, shirts and underwear, you do not need to take your uniforms or bank statements. It’s late, you still have school tomorrow. Bethany will be here when you get home so yes you want to be packed and ready to go but this is ridiculous. You two need to pack one bag and then get your butts to bed.”
