The Lush and the Angel (New Hampshire Bears Book 10)

by Mary Smith

I sit on the bench and rub my feet. They’re burning, and I may have a blister by morning. How did Victoria talk me into going to a roller rink? I’ve not skated since childhood and proved it to still be true today, I still don’t have much coordination.

  “Are you having fun?” Paityn asks, sliding to a stop in front of me.

  Victoria, Blanche, and Paityn are having enough fun they can spread it across the world. They laughed, smiled, sang along with songs, and were—carefree.

  When was the last time I had been carefree?

  Had I ever been?

  “I am.” I tell her.

  Blanche flops down next to me and begins to remove her skates. “This is their thing. I’d rather go to dinner and a movie to celebrate.”

  I giggle. “Me too. But you looked like you’re having fun.”

  “It’s because I’m with them. Not because of the skates.”

  “Hey.” Victoria hugs Paityn to help her halt at a full tilt. “I like to celebrate with my family and roller skating.” She pouts. “I thought you loved me.”

  Blanche and Paityn laugh loudly at her. I’m actually jealous of their relationship. They’re closer than blood siblings. Being an only child, I always wondered what it’s like to have a brother or sister.

  “Let’s get nachos, fried cheese, and overly salted pretzels.” Blanche suggests and we all agree.

  When Victoria picked me up, I had no clue this is where we would end up. A million other scenarios popped into my head but never a roller rink. Blanche orders a ton of junk food, all of which will cause me to actually exercise to fit into my jeans.

  Blanche tries to pay, but Victoria pushes her money away and hands over her credit card. I watch Blanche roll her eyes and put her money back into her wrist clutch. Paityn takes my elbow, leading me to a table.

  “Have you enjoyed working with Victoria?” she asks as we sit.

  “I have. She’s brilliant, and I’ve learned a lot in the time we’ve been together.”

  “Victoria likes you.” She glances over her shoulder. “She has a big heart.”

  I notice her tone sounds sad. “She’s a great person.”

  Paityn turns back to me. “The best. She’s the best person.”

  It took only a split second to realize how protective Paityn is of her sisters. It shows how much she cares for them.

  “One cherry coke.” Blanche sets a large styrofoam cup in front of Paityn. “And one diet.” She places the other cup in front of me.

  “And I have the food.” Victoria announces as she places a large tray of food in the center of the table.

  “That was fast.” I comment.

  “Doesn’t take long to fry up cheese.” Blanche giggles as if she told the best joke.

  “It’s my favorite food group,” Victoria says sitting next to me.

  “Dairy?” I question.

  “No.” Paityn speaks up. “Fried. Victoria here will die of clogged arteries and heart disease.”

  “I exercise.” She accosted. “I eat junk in moderation. Unless I’m celebrating.” She winked at her.

  “Whatever.” Paityn waves her hand through the air, then reaches for a pretzel.

  I assume there’s some inside joke between them I’m missing out on. I listen to their conversations, but mainly sit quietly nibbling on the nachos. They were discussing Blanche’s job. I find it interesting being in public relations. Personally, I enjoy computers and I can’t imagine having to deal with the public on a daily basis. Then Paityn goes on about several new recipes she’s working on. I pride myself on being a good cook, but Paityn creates masterpieces.

  “Erin, what’s next for you?” Victoria asks, picking up another cheese stick.

  “Honestly, I’m not sure.” I shrug. “What about you?”

  “I always have something going on.” Her smile has a mysterious appearance as if she had a huge project going on but doesn’t want to tell anyone.

  “Are you dating anyone?” Blanche quickly changes the subject but keeps the attention on me.

  I shake my head as Bas flashes through my mind. I know my feelings run deep for him, but I can’t…no…I won’t admit it. I have money now, and a fresh start is at my fingertips. Nothing will stop me from getting it.

  “So, us four single gals, in a roller rink, eating an abundance of greasy food, doesn’t sound pathetic at all.” Blanche gives us a small smile.

  “You’re single because you’re a hopeless romantic.” Paityn taps her nose. “And men aren’t romantic.”

  “That’s not true.” She swats her hand away. “There are romantic men in this world.”

  “Not in New Hampshire.” Paityn quips. “Maybe Europe.”

  “You’re cynical.” She glares at her

  Paityn just laughs not saying anything. Blanche eyes Victoria. “What’s your opinion?”

  “I believe men can be romantic, but I don’t believe in love at first sight or all the soul mate crap.” Victoria comments. “Two people need to get to know each other before falling in love.”

  I admire the conviction in her voice. I wish had some.

  “Your turn, Erin.” Blanche then turns the question to me.

  “I’m not sure.” I shrug. “I guess if it happens, you’ll know it.”

  “Very practical.” She smiles. “Tell us the truth. Oh, have you ever been in love?”

  My heart skips a beat thinking of Bas again. “I believe I have been.”

  “What do you mean?” Paityn inquires. “You have or have not.”

  I open my mouth to try to spin whatever tale I can to avoid the truth, but my mind only continues to think of Bas. I can’t believe I’ve not seen it before. Well, I had but chose to ignore it because he has enough problems without me adding to the list.

  “I know that look.” Blanche points a piece of a pretzel at me. “You’re in love, right now.”

  I can’t deny it anymore. “I’m not sure.” I lie and hope they drop the subject.

  Victoria catches on to my tone and moves the topic to a new book she started reading. As they all discuss their latest Kindle finds, I wonder what Bas is doing this instant. Has he eaten? Is he drinking? I’m sure he’s already drunk and passed out on his couch.

  I’m glad Victoria reached out to me to help with the project. I’m forever thankful for the money. I even believe we’re friends. However, when she drops me off at my apartment, a great weight lifts off my chest. I tend not to spend a lot of time outside of my apartment, especially with other people. I climb the stairs, briefly stare at Bas’ door and go into my place.

  All alone.

  Grocery shopping is one of my favorite things to do. Many people find it to be a chore. I find it fun. Going up and down the aisles, finding new products, and googling ones I have no clue what they are, all adds to the fun of this errand.

  As I stand in front of the apples trying to find the reddest and most firm, there’s a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see Beck Zorn. He has the same face as Bas, but his long, silky hair sets them apart.

  “Hello, Beck.” I greet him with a smile.

  “Hey, how are you?” He tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear.

  “I’m good. Oh, good game last weekend.” I don’t really follow football, but he had been trending on Twitter for some amazing catch.

  “Thanks.” He seems to shy away from the compliment. “Do you know how Bas is?”

  “The last time I saw him, which was yesterday, I had been yelling at him and running away.” I know there’s a sad tone in the explanation, but it’s something I can’t hide.

  “What happened?”

  I shake my head. “Nothing. Well, it’s personal.”

  He nods, but it’s clear on his face he’d like more details and not really buying into my answer. “I tried to text him, but as usual he’s ignoring me.”

  I feel bad for Beck and Bax. They truly care for Bas and his well-being. Bas doesn’t see it through the alcohol-filled ocean he’s currently swimming in. “I know, he does that
to everyone.”

  “Well, I hope this therapist helps him.”

  I nod. “Me too.”

  “Thanks for helping with him. You seem to be the only one who can reach him.” He gives my arm a slight squeeze before strolling away.

  Bas has no clue how lucky he is to have people who care so much about him. He doesn’t see everyone is trying to help him. I wish there was something I could do to get him to see, but I don’t have those kinds of superpowers.

  I finish putting away my groceries when I hear a knock on my door. I open it to find Victoria on the other side.

  “I’m not skating.” I blurt out.

  Smiling she shakes her head. “No skating today. May I come in?”

  “Of course.” I step to the side, and she strolls into my apartment.

  “Are you okay?” she asks as she takes a seat on my couch.

  “Yes. Why do you ask?” I take a place on the other side of the couch.

  “Yesterday you seemed to be…sad. I know my sisters and I can be overwhelming, and I apologize.” A sad smile crosses her face.

  “There’s nothing to apologize for. You guys are great.” I can’t understand why she feels the need to say sorry.

  “I believe we pushed you into an uncomfortable conversation.” She explains.

  I shrug realizing the purpose of this visit. “It’s fine.”

  There’s a few seconds of uncomfortable silence before Victoria asks, “Do you have any family?”

  It’s a question I avoid more often than not. I know people are curious about me, being single and no talk of any real friends or family. “I have a family. I just don’t talk to them.”

  “May I ask why?” She continues with her questioning and does so politely.

  It takes a moment for me to think of the right way to answer her. “My family’s values differ from mine. They don’t see laws as black and white. They’re merely suggestions.”

  I have told only one other person about my family and that’s Bas. At the age of eighteen, I got out of my childhood home as quickly as I could run. Metaphorically speaking, of course, since I don’t run fast. My parents were con artists for lack of a better term. They were in and out of jail my entire life. Everyone knew of their scheming ways, which was why I had no friends. I was the girl in school who ate lunch alone, so I kept my nose to the books. It had been my way out. I received a small scholarship from a college in Buffalo, New York. I worked as a waitress and did some web designs here and there until I started working on writing apps. I moved to Manchester after I graduated, stayed here in my apartment—and to myself. Until I met Bas.

  Somehow, he reached me more than any other person.

  “I understand. I truly don’t mean to pry into your personal business. I just know the signs of an unloved child.” Her voice sounds quite motherly.

  “You’re a good person, Victoria. Your sisters are lucky.”

  “I’m the one who is lucky. They saved me more than once in my life. Being in the foster system you don’t always gain connections like what we had found. Truly, I don’t know where I would be without them.” Her eyes slightly water.

  “All three of you are lucky.” I pat her hand.

  “So, who’s the guy?”

  I tilt my head, confused by her question. “What?”

  “Your answer to the question yesterday. Who’s the guy who broke your heart?”

  Wow, she’s good.

  “Are you going to keep grilling me until I answer?” I sigh jokingly. I know she isn’t trying to pry but trying to be a friend.

  She smirks, clearly telling me the answer is yes without actually saying the word.

  “Yes, my heart is slightly broken. I say slightly because he doesn’t know my true feelings, and I don’t want him to know. He has a lot of personal issues right now, and I can’t be the straw to break his back.”

  Why the hell did I just blab all that to her?

  “You’re a good person, Erin. Any person is lucky to have you in their life, including me.”

  Chapter Nine

  Bas

  My head is throbbing. I can’t even focus my vision. Realizing I’m on the couch, I scrub my face hard to wake up. Falling off the couch isn’t the way I want to be woken up. Again. I brace my hand on the coffee table to help balance me as I sit up. I see the empty bottles of vodka come into view.

  Damn.

  I check my mobile and see several missed calls from Caryn.

  “Fuck,” I mumble. I missed my therapy appointment. In fact, it’s already midafternoon. “Double fuck.” I toss the mobile over to the side and place the heels of my palms over my eyes.

  My entire body feels like I ran three marathons—in a row. My last memory of the past twenty-four hours was watching the telly and drinking before Beck texted me. He wants to talk to me. Nope, not going to happen. I’m not going to deal with anything today, except getting rid of the headache I’m currently sporting.

  A cold shower doesn’t help. Toast makes me feel worse. The telly is too loud and bright. I lay back down on the couch, praying the room stops spinning soon. It’s doesn’t seem to happen as quickly as I want it to.

  The pounding on the door causes me to grab the sides of my head. I groan forcing my muscles to make me move toward the door. As I pull the door open, ready to yell at whoever is on the other side, I stop when I see who it is.

  “I suggest you get shoes on, right now.” Oliver’s red face tells me he’s pissed. “Now, Bas.”

  Like a small child, I rush to get my items and get back to him, still standing at the door. His face even redder than when I left him.

  He says nothing when he turns and heads down the hall toward the stairwell. I rush to lock the door and follow him. Parked outside is his Town Car with his waiting driver, who opens the door for him as he approaches.

  “Get in on the other side.” He orders and again I do as I’m told.

  Sliding into the seat next to him like an errant child, I keep my head down as if I’m in trouble. Actually, I’m certain I’m in trouble. Oliver isn’t the type just to pop over for a visit, especially wearing his current expression. Maybe he’s finally going to cut me. No big shocker there.

  His driver pulls away toward the main street, and the tension rises in the vehicle. As Hamilton would say ‘you can cut it with a knife.’

  He’s right.

  “Care to tell me the truth as to why you missed an appointment with Caryn?”

  This confirms my suspicions—Caryn updates Oliver. “I overslept.” It’s not a lie. Well, not completely.

  “Why?” He growls.

  Slightly lifting my head, I see he’s staring out the window to his right. Something washes over me. I can’t put my finger on it, but it makes me do something unthinkable.

  “Because I got shit-faced.”

  I tell him the truth.

  He still doesn’t look over at me. “Why?” he asks again.

  Again, I tell him the truth.

  “Because I had a shit of a day, and I wanted to forget it.”

  “And when Cabel picked you up for lifting were you drunk?”

  I shake my head, but he’s not looking over at me. “No, I just had a belt or two.”

  “In this week, just this week, how many times have you passed out because you drank too much?” Now, he turns to me.

  I drop my gaze. I can’t say every night. I won’t say it. “I can handle it.”

  “No, you can’t.” He grits. “That’s a fucking lie, and it’ll kill you.”

  A rush of relief hits my soul. Death is a welcoming solution to the pain I feel day in and day out. Since hockey is no longer in my life and I have no other goals, what is there to live for? My brothers won’t care. Fuck, they’ll probably throw a party. The Bears will do the same. Sure, Oliver says differently, but this way, he won’t feel obligated to give me a second chance. Am I taking a piss? He’ll never give me a second chance.

  Erin.

  Her beautiful blue eyes flash
in my mind. She might miss me. Then again, I tell her how I feel and she runs away from me. Seems fitting, eh?

  I have no clue where we are as Manchester disappears and the countryside zooms past me. The driver continues on this, almost gravel, road until a massive mansion with perfectly green landscaping comes into view. This isn’t Oliver’s house. I’ve been there. This place is…different.

  I notice a gigantic gate with a security shed and a guard standing inside it. The fence around it is made from faded white bricks. When we pull up to the security guard, the driver says something to him, and the gate slowly swings open. The rough gravel road turns into a paved blacktop driveway. The mansion is still in front of us as I glance around. To the right is a parking lot where numerous cars are lined up. To the left is a yard almost as big as a football field. I think of Beck, who would probably love to run up and down it.

  The driver bypasses the parking lot and stops the Town Car right in front of the building. Out steps—Caryn. I grumble on the inside. I should have known she would be involved in this. Wait...is this her house? Damn.

  Oliver clears his throat, and I jump in my seat. “Let’s not keep her waiting.” He opens his door without his driver opening it and confidently walks up to Caryn. He kisses her cheek, and she hugs him tightly.

  Are they dating?

  There’s a huge age gap and I never knew Oliver to date anyone. All the man did was work or go to work-related events. I get out of the car and slowly go over to them. They’re whispering, and I can’t make out what is being said, but I’m certain it’s about me.

  “Hello, Bas. How are you?”

  “I’m…” I stop. This is Caryn. She will throat punch me if I utter the word fine. “I’m dealing.”

  She smiles as if she won a championship game. “You missed our appointment.”

  I nod.

  “Come in, let me show you around.” She heads to the door.

  Glancing at Oliver, he gives me another stern look, telling me I better follow her or else? I make sure to stay with her step by step.

  Stepping into the mansion, I stop. There’s…there’s a secretary at a front desk. Front desk? The redhead smiles at me. A long hallway is behind her and at the end I see a staircase.