Unstuck

by Liliana Camarena

  “It’s official,” he said as he put his forehead against mine with his hands still at the sides of my face. I just nodded. I was too busy thinking about what I was feeling.

  “There were a lot of pictures,” he said and I nodded. “Good,” he said again. “Let’s go home,” I opened my eyes and looked at him smiling.

  “Let’s go home,” I wasn’t going to think about my feelings. I would put them away for a little while; they could wait a little longer to be acknowledged, they had been in the back of my mind and in the bottom of my heart for years, a couple of hours, days or months wouldn’t hurt them at all.

  We said our goodbyes to Regina, who was extremely happy for both of us and couldn’t stop hugging us, and then we left. During the ride home we were quiet, we didn’t say a word. The moment we got in the limo Patrick reached for my waist and sat me on his lap, I put my arms around his neck and we stayed like that all the way home. It didn’t feel weird or awkward, just comfortable and I thought that Patrick wanted to let the alcohol leave his system before he said anything.

  “What are you smiling about?” I asked him once we were in the house. He was leaning against the wall in the foyer while I walked to the living room. I had all the intention of sleeping in my bed that night with or without Patrick.

  “I believe you said something about having sex in our sexy clothes,” he said walking towards me.

  “I did say that like 6 hours ago,” I shook my head smiling.

  “Yeah, well, I think it’s a great idea,” He grabbed me by the waist.

  “Ok, my place,” I said putting my arms around his neck.

  “Nope,” he smiled. That fucking smile that brought me to my knees every single time. That fucking smile that said so many things that I didn’t want to know about.

  “Why not?” I couldn’t help but smile at him.

  “What I have in mind can’t be done in your tiny bed,” He grinned and I laughed.

  “Ok, then,” of course I couldn’t say no to the fucking smile “take me to your bed,” I said and he put his arms under my legs and carried me to his bedroom. He was right, though, what we did that night, several times, wouldn’t be possible in my tiny bed or my tiny room. Patrick was indeed some kind of sex god; at least he was MY sex god.

  “So, you liked the dress,” I said as we laid in his bed having plum sorbet “I loved the dress,” he smiled and went on “but it wasn’t the dress what made me want to assault your body that I did,” I laughed “What was it then?” I asked while licking the spoon “Knowing that you are ok with us being out in the world kissing, holding hands, being us...that’s hot. That’s what gets me going,” he said as he kissed me in the cheek.

  “Well, remind me to kiss you in public more often,” I said smiling.

  “I’m serious, Lucinda,” he said and I turned to look at him directly into his eyes “you… you make me go crazy, both in the good and bad sense of the word. You changed my life the moment you step foot on my office,” I shushed him putting my fingers on his lips. I didn’t want to talk feelings.

  “I know, feelings aren’t your thing,” said Patrick against my fingers. I just nodded. “I just hope I do enough to let you know how I am feeling,” he said and I didn’t say a thing. He gave a quick nod and kissed me. I knew he was trying to show me his feelings through his kisses, his touch, and his smiles. He was succeeding but I wasn’t up for dissecting the meaning of it all. Not yet.

  Being with Patrick in the complete sense of the word was quite different from what we had before we declared our thing. For starters, the day after Regina’s party our picture kissing in the VIP room was everywhere and I couldn’t stop looking at it. There we were, in the papers, blogs, magazines. We were an official couple and I couldn’t go around declaring we were a thing. It was impossible. And for the next couple of weeks it was quite impossible for me to walk Philadelphia’s streets without someone snapping a picture of me.

  At work things remained the same because we had decided that our life wouldn’t change except for the fact that everyone knew we were together and we would sleep over every night. Sometimes in my bed, sometimes in Patrick’s bed but we never spent one night apart. People looked at me funny at work but truth was that once they realized that we were quite professional about the whole thing they relaxed as well. Patrick kept on yelling my name in the office and I kept on getting him unstuck.

  Things with his family were different but in a good way because they embraced me in their family more than before and that made me realize that I was finally part of a family but that made me freak out worst than ever. I didn’t want to feel everything that I was feeling for everyone because I didn’t know how long it would last. I didn’t want to become too attached to everyone because that only meant that if things weren’t to work out between Patrick and I there was so much to lose. Although I had no reason to think that things wouldn’t work out between us, because really life was almost too perfect to believe, I still freaked out from time to time. Especially when Patrick wanted to talk feelings and got frustrated because I wouldn’t but he knew me, he understood feelings weren’t a part of me or at least of my life and I was scared of feelings. I believed that feelings could ultimately ruin whatever we had going on.

  “Lucinda!” I heard Patrick’s voice coming from his office and I rolled my eyes. Harriet smiled. It was the 10th time I had been in his office to help him get unstuck. Well, no, I’d helped him get unstuck 9 times the other time he’d sent me to look for this root beer he had once with Stacy (Stacy who he hadn’t hung out with in 10 years). I’m telling you, in all senses and for all purposes I was still his assistant and even though I hated when he sent me in this horrible quests I felt some kind of sick pleasure when he did because that meant that work wasn’t changing for us.

  “Yes Patrick?” I asked from the door.

  “The layout of the site looks off,” he said looking at his laptop. We were 3 days away from MBU’s official launch. People had enrolled to the first course as if it was free and we were excited but as the date came closer Patrick got a bit more obsessed with the details.

  “Patrick, we’ve already gone through all of this... oh,” I stopped talking as soon as I saw the screen “yes it looks weird,” I tried to decipher what was exactly what was wrong.

  “I think we need to see this on a meeting room,” and I nodded we needed to figure it out on a bigger screen. We asked the IT guys to be there as well as Brian just because Brian was in everything that had to do with MBU. In the end it seemed that getting rid of two options in the menu bar had made the layout look a bit off and it was just about making a few changes but we were in need of having them done ASAP because we were leaving for New York next morning to be there for the grand opening of the MBU headquarters and launching the first course. We had planned a cocktail party for potential business partners, press, family and friends. Patrick made it sound like it was a small get together but it wasn’t it was huge and we’d asked Stuart to let us held the whole thing at the closest hotel.

  “What about we go home, pack and work from there the rest of the day?” I asked Patrick in his office. It was 2 in the afternoon and he no longer had a jacket or tie on. He had the sleeves undone and his black hair was sticking out in 10 different ways. He was stressed.

  “But what about the layout?” he asked looking at me like a lost child.

  “We can always check that out from there,” I began getting all his stuff together.

  “What if it’s not ready?” he asked looking out the window.

  “We bring the IT guys with us to New York,” I shrugged as I closed his briefcase.

  “Ok,” he nodded and I smiled without him knowing it.

  “Let’s go then,” I said giving him his briefcase and jacket. He grabbed them.

  Once home we went directly to the library where we work until dinner was ready. Miranda had prepared lasagna and we both were extremely thankful to have something as delicious as her lasagna in such a stressful da
y. We devoured it and drank a couple of wine glasses before we decided it was time to pack. I was packing for him. I always did, he had no idea what to pack and the socks, and God the socks were never going to be his strength.

  “Go, I’ll be there in a second,” I said to Patrick as we walked to the foyer and he nodded. I turned and went into the kitchen to go the laundry room for his tux.

  “Pepper,” I heard him say as she looked into the kitchen “please bring some snacks we ran out of them last night,” I nodded and felt my cheeks turning red.

  “You don’t need to feel embarrassed, Lucy,” said Miranda as she went to the pantry looking for some pretzels for Patrick. I shook my head.

  “I’m not used to everyone knowing about us,” I said looking down. It was true. I was not used to it and the fact that we had eaten snacks on Patrick’s bedroom meant we’d had slept there and that meant we’d had sex. Miranda knew we’d had sex.

  “Lucy,” she said putting her hands on my shoulders “You two together is the best thing that has happened to this house. Mr. Maynard is happier than ever, that boy needed someone to share his life with and that is exactly what he is doing. Don’t you see it? You make him happy! And you shouldn’t be embarrassed of being responsible of someone’s happiness. I am thankful for you and I believe he is more than thankful for you. Be happy and proud about that,” she ended the speech with a kiss in the cheek. I had tears in my eyes. Miranda had said too much, if I didn’t shut the doors of my heart closed in that moment I would freak out and that wasn’t what Patrick needed right now. He needed a strong Lucinda.

  “Thank you, Miranda,” I said smiling and she nodded. I took the pretzels and the tux and took it to Patrick’s room.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon packing, first in his room and then in mine. We were just going to be there for a week but we had a lot of events to attend to because Patrick knew he had to be in public relations mode to give a bit of promo to MBU.

  “The layout is ready,” he said looking up from his iPad. He was on my bed while I packed two outfits per day we were going to be there.

  “Let me see,” I said as I reached out for the iPad. “See? I told you it was nothing to worry about,” I smiled and gave it back to him and tried to resumed my packing but I felt him pulling me by the waist into his lap.

  “What would I do without you?” he said kissing my neck and I smiled.

  “You’d get another assistant,” I said with my arms around his neck.

  “No, what would I do without you in my life in general?” he looked at me and I looked back at him. I didn’t answer, what was I suppose to say? That I had no idea what would I do without him in my life either? It was too much. Too much for me.

  “You’d probably go through life wearing horrible, hideous socks,” I said getting up and going to my closet to pull out a couple of dresses and skirt suites. He hated when I did that, ignore his feelings but what he didn’t know was that by ignoring his feelings I was fighting against my own feelings and it was getting more difficult each day that I spent by his side.

  Twenty four

  “Every morning Mr. Maynard will let you know what he wants for breakfast,” I said to the crew at the New York apartment. Patrick was never around long enough for them to know his schedule. “Here,” I said giving Margaret, the housekeeper, a copy of the binder with Patrick’s food “Everything he asks for is going to be in here. If it’s not then it’s my job to find it,” I smiled at them and they all smiled back at me. For first time ever I really hoped they knew what kind of relationship was the one Patrick and I had because if they didn’t it would be quite awkward to explain it.

  “One more thing,” I said before turning around and going up stairs to the bedrooms “have coffee, lots of it ready in the morning,” I winked and went up stairs.

  “Miss Stuart,” of course, the fucking name but I had to turn and listen “where do I put the bags?” Brandon the New York driver asked and as if the question had some kind of power Patrick came out of his room.

  “All the bags in my room, Brandon, thank you,” he said as I turned to look at him seriously pissed.

  “What? You’ll be there most of the time anyway,” he said talking about his room. I couldn’t help but smile and agreed. I was going to be there every night. “So off to the office?” he said putting his arms around me while we watched as our baggage was placed in our (our? Yes our,) room.

  “You tell me,” I said as I went inside the room to take out a couple dresses and hang his suits “you are the one that has the working schedule here,” I began hanging his suits in one side and my dresses in other side.

  “Looks good, doesn’t it?” said Patrick admiring the walk in closet with both our clothes.

  “I suppose,” I say shrugging and went looking for my purse “so?” “To the office,” he said and we went to MBU’s offices. The building was impressive and beautiful. It was a building that could be called big. Just by the first impression you would think you were looking at several brownstones together. However, once you took a closer look you could clearly see that it was one big building with an MBU sign at the top of it.

  “Amazing,” I said once we stepped out of the car and looked up at the complete building with the sign and everything.

  “It’s, isn’t it?” said Patrick putting his hands around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I just nodded “Thank you,” he whispered.

  “For what?” I said still admiring the building

  “For helping me with this. For making this dream happen,” he said and I knew he was having a moment and I didn’t have the heart to ruin it.

  “Thank you for allowing me to be part of your dream,” I said grabbing his hands that were still around my waist.

  “Patrick,” we heard someone say and when we turned to look we were greeted with a nice flash that left us blinded for a couple of seconds. Paparazzi. I was getting used to it.

  “Let’s go inside,” he said as he grabbed me by the hand and we both walked into MBU’s offices it filled me with a sense of pride to watch all the people working towards a dream that Patrick had and it was finally becoming a reality. He held my hand a bit tighter and I knew that it was because he was thinking the same as me. But just as he held my hand tight he let it go because we both were now in working ground. He went directly to the office that had been built especially for him and I went to run after people talking about deadlines and a couple of confidentiality contracts that weren’t completely finished.

  The next two days were filled with work and commotion because it didn’t matter how perfect everything seemed to run Patrick always wanted to double check everything. So, if the owner and CEO of the company that you work for wants to double check your work you are going to shake and enter into panic mode. The server was triple checked because the amount of people that enrolled into the admin course was too much and Patrick wanted it to be fast and, of course, perfect. The platform was really fast and the layout was simple but modern, there would be no problem but the fact that we had to set a limit at 200 people for the first course had Patrick both excited and nervous. Patrick, the man that was always patient and relaxed was losing it because we had reached the limit of students for a 3 month course. I got it, it was big but it was also a huge responsibility and he wanted to make sure that the experience was smooth and PERFECT.

  “Breathe,” I said as I tried to straighten his tie. It was the day of the grand opening and he couldn’t stay still for more than 5 seconds.

  “I can’t,” he said while shaking his hands.

  “Everything is going to be perfect, Patrick,” I said putting my hands on his shoulders. He smiled at me and put his hands on my waist.

  “I know,” he gave me a quick kiss on the lips “this is pure excitement,” he grinned and this time I kissed him back.

  “I am so proud of you, Patrick,” I said to him and he smiled the fucking smile. I felt my knees shaking and I had to hold on to him because I knew my legs were tr
ying to tell me something.

  “It’s because of you that this is possible,” he smiled and hugged me. We stayed there hugging for a while trying to pass some telepathic message to each other until we felt it was enough and went directly to the MBU building.

  When we were there everything was set already, there were a lot of press and all the people that were invited. I could see Stacy and Nick and Regina with Sam and Jameson in some kind of formal attire that included a worn jacket and a scarf and Stuart and Patrick’s parents. They were all there.

  “Ready,” I asked Patrick and he was smiling. He looked gorgeous in his navy blue suit, with matching vest, white shirt and green tie. He nodded and I nodded back. I checked my make up on my compact and tried to smooth my black pencil skirt, double check my black tights and checked that I had all my buttons buttoned in my green blazer. Everything seemed great so Patrick stepped out of the car and turned to reach out for my hand to help me out of the car. We were attending this event as a couple, which meant I was not his assistant for the day. I know it sounds weird and crazy but we had managed to make this work.