Dirty Like Seth: A Dirty Rockstar Romance (Dirty, Book 3)

by Jaine Diamond

  A grin spread across my face.

  Thank. Fuck.

  Seth was finally back. And now Ash was back, too.

  Which meant my life could finally go back to normal. No more bullshit. No more drama.

  Just partying, playing drums, and fucking.

  Unlike some of my bandmates, I was in no particular rush to settle down. Not when there was so much fun to be had first. Just me and whatever smoking-hot woman happened to wander my way, and catch my interest.

  And if she was lucky… who knew?

  Maybe she’d catch Ash’s interest, too.

  Bonus Epilogue

  Ash

  It wasn’t that I was trying to avoid her, exactly. But keeping Elle out of my line of sight was definitely one reason why I was hiding out in a dark corner of the bar sucking face with some random chick.

  Carrie? Candy? Who the fuck could remember. I’d had way too many beers over the course of the night to retain trivial facts like that.

  All I knew for sure was she had huge tits and raven-black hair and a bunch of girlie flower tats, and she was five-foot-nothing. So she looked nothing like Elle. She felt nothing like Elle as I pressed her up against the wall and wrapped her legs around my waist. She was wearing a short, short skirt and, upon closer discovery, a very skimpy thong. I could’ve fucked her, right here against the wall—in theory. Except for one problem.

  My dick wasn’t the least bit hard.

  I could’ve tried to blame that on the alcohol as she snaked her tongue around mine and pressed her tits against me and wiggled her crotch against my belt buckle, seeking friction, but I wasn’t that drunk. I’d been falling-down, on-the-edge-of-blackout drunk, and still been able to get it up.

  In fact… I couldn’t remember a time in my life, ever, when I’d been making out with a chick and the equipment didn’t spring to life.

  Fortunately—or unfortunately—she slid her hand down the front of my jeans, digging for gold. At the same moment, someone tapped lightly on my shoulder, and I tore my face away from her, weirdly grateful for the interruption.

  Elle stood there, right next to me.

  As I detached the girl from my hips and set her on her feet, she pouted, pulling her hand from my jeans. I adjusted myself, maybe out of habit, though there really wasn’t anything to adjust. There was zero going on down below.

  “Gimme a minute,” I told her. She pouted again, but glanced at Elle and gave her a quick—embarrassed?—nod, then vanished.

  “Hey,” I forced out. “Great show.” I hadn’t seen Elle since she came offstage, but she definitely didn’t look any less killer this close up, with her shimmery stage makeup and little white dress.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  I looked away, pretending to be watching the chick I’d just been making out with, but I honestly couldn’t find her in the crowd. Wasn’t sure I could’ve picked her face out of a lineup.

  The late hour and the booze and the music seemed to have turned all the women in sight into horny animals, though. They were dancing with every available guy, dancing with each other… and I couldn’t really picture myself with any of them.

  Elle just stood there, looking at me, and I wondered where Seth was.

  I glanced at her. She was looking at me weirdly. Very weirdly.

  Like she had any business judging my hookups? When Seth Brothers was back in her life for two-point-five seconds and she’s running off to Hawaii with him and getting knocked up with his kid?

  “You know who that is, right?” she asked me.

  “Huh?” I followed her eyes as she glanced over at the chick I’d just been tongue-wrestling—she was there, talking with some other girls, who were stealing glances my way. I recognized her tats and her tits, but that was about it. So maybe I could pick those out of a lineup.

  “Candace?” Elle said, her gray eyes scanning me. “Summer’s cousin? From New York?” She frowned. “Is any of this ringing a bell with you?”

  Not really. Though that did explain why she kinda looked familiar.

  “So?”

  “So… maybe you remember her from such events as Thanksgiving dinner last year?”

  I just stared at Elle, blankly. It was kinda coming back to me now… But who cared? Summer was hardly gonna give a shit I’d made out with her cousin. She never gave a shit who I hooked up with.

  “If you don’t remember her,” Elle went on, “maybe you remember her husband? Or their son?”

  Oh.

  I shrugged. Wasn’t exactly my fault the girl was married and didn’t give a fuck about it. I didn’t make a practice of screwing around with married chicks, but she didn’t exactly shove her wedding ring in my face when she had her hand down my pants.

  Elle sighed. She had one hand, maybe unconsciously, pressed flat to her stomach. Holding her baby; like she was soothing it. Protecting it from the ugly scene in front of her.

  I swiped my beer bottle from the ledge, where I’d placed it to free up my hands so I could squeeze that chick’s tits, and tipped it at Elle. “Have a good one.” Then I started to walk away.

  “Hey,” Elle said, stepping into my path. I stopped short, not quite bumping into her. She peered up at me. “Can we talk?”

  “Nope. Not if you’re gonna lecture me on where I put my dick.”

  She winced a little. “I’m not. Let’s just sit down, okay?”

  She looked weary; I noticed that now. Under her makeup, the delicate skin under her eyes looked a bit dark. She looked fragile, vulnerable.

  Pregnant.

  “Fine.” I turned abruptly and dropped onto the bench against the wall. The one I’d briefly considered screwing Summer’s married cousin on. I sank some beer and stared straight ahead at the bodies writhing on the dance floor as Elle sat down next to me.

  “I know this may not be the best time to say this…” She trailed off, and I looked over at her. She was sitting at a slant, facing me, her gaze intent on my face. Her eyebrows had pinched together a bit. “It’s just… with everything that’s going on, I’m not sure when I’ll get another chance. I’ve got some obligations down in L.A., and after that Seth and I are going back to Hawaii for a bit. Taking a bit of time together, you know, without the media circus all over us, before Dirty gets together to finish the album.”

  “Great,” I said, automatically. “Sounds like you guys have it all worked out.”

  Her shoulders dropped. “Ash. I just… I want to say I’m sorry. If I hurt you. I hope you know that was never my intention. I definitely didn’t mean to. I just didn’t think—”

  “It’s fine,” I said. “We’re friends. That’s all we ever were, right?”

  “We are friends,” she said. “And I hope we’re always going to be. I care about you, Ash. You know that.”

  “Yup.” I took a swig of my beer, holding her gaze. “‘Friends forever,’ right?”

  Friends forever.

  That’s what she’d said to me, all fucking sarcasm, just before I rammed my dick into her for the first time. The night of Jesse’s wedding. When I’d—stupidly—offered to fuck her to help her get over him. When I’d insisted that we stay friends, and not fuck with the friendship if we fucked.

  Clearly, she remembered that moment.

  Her mouth twisted a little as she bit her lip. I could see the concern in her eyes, and all I wanted to do was run from it.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I told her. “You win some, you lose some, right?”

  “Ash—”

  “Seriously. I’m happy for you. That baby’s gonna be hella cute. And Seth’s back with Dirty. It’s all good. I’ve got women lined up around the block, right?” I punctuated that with a swig of beer and gestured vaguely at the packed bar. “Who’s complaining?”

  “Right,” she said, sounding unsure. Her hand went to her stomach again.

  “Come on,” I said, hitting her with that killer smile the fangirls loved. “You know I make jokes, Elle. I’m good. I’m drunk. I just need to get lai
d.” I sat up, like I was ready to go do just that the second she’d let me off the hook.

  She nodded, slowly, and like she didn’t believe me, her gray eyes on mine. I looked right back at her, as steady as I could.

  Then she stood and looked down at me.

  She wasn’t showing yet, but her body was already changing. Her short, tight dress showed the exaggerated curves, the fullness of her swollen breasts.

  I looked away, swallowing the utter fucking jealousy that lodged like an ice pick in my throat.

  So she was knocked up with Seth Brothers’ kid.

  Why the fuck did that bother me so much?

  Because that means she’s never gonna be yours, asshole.

  Never.

  “Let’s hang out when I get back,” she said, finally, after staring at me for too long. “We’ll do dinner with Summer.”

  Yeah. Sounded great. Maybe we could just round up all my ex-girlfriends and have a fucking luncheon.

  “Cool.” I sank the last of my beer and got to my feet. Then I wrapped my hand around the back of her head and kissed her, firmly, on the forehead. “Take care of yourself, Elle.”

  “You, too,” she said, kinda softening. Relieved, maybe, that I was acting vaguely human. But that little crease was still there between her eyebrows.

  She put her hand on my arm, briefly, and squeezed. “See you, Ashley.” She gave me a lingering, sympathetic look.

  Then she walked away.

  Flynn had been leaning in the darkness nearby and mobilized to shadow her across the room. I watched her go, and it felt like fucking hell. There was a crushing feeling in my chest that did not make any sense to me.

  It had to be the beer, making me extra fucking morose and unable to deal.

  It’s not like I was in love with Elle, right?

  I’d already learned, through being a fucking idiot in love, once—with Summer—that love was a fucking illusion. One day you’re so deep in it, it’s all you can see. The whole world looks different. You’re on another fucking planet, just you and this one chick, with the sun and the moon fucking rising and setting in her eyes.

  All that bullshit.

  Then it fucking fades.

  It dies.

  It’s gone, and just like waking up from some dream, you can never get it back again.

  You realize maybe it was never even fucking real.

  And you watch the one person you thought you’d love forever, you thought you’d never be able to live without, go on to love someone else—like you never even fucking mattered.

  I made my way to the nearest bar and ordered up a fresh bottle. I leaned on the bar, watching people dance and make out.

  Who the fuck needed love?

  From now on, it was just me and Dylan—and whoever was gonna warm my bed with the least amount of drama possible. Casual sex.

  Fuck ’em and forget ’em.

  I didn’t need anything more than that.

  As I downed my next beer, I made the decision, and it was like a fucking weight was lifted off my chest. I felt it, so fucking freeing, as I watched Elle and Seth head out of the bar all wrapped up in each other.

  Then I pushed off the bar and went to get laid.

  I was never, ever falling in love again.

  In fact, I was gonna go ahead and tell Dylan that if I did, he could just go ahead and put me the fuck out my misery.

  Immediately.

  Yeah…

  Fuck love.

  Don’t miss Dirty Like Dylan (Dirty #4), the next book in the Dirty series!

  Books by Jaine Diamond

  Swipe to the end of this book for sneak peeks of Jaine Diamond’s other books!

  Never miss a new release…

  Join the Diamond Club mailing list at jainediamond.com (and get free stuff, advance excerpts and more): http://ebook.jainediamond.com/getdirty-ml/

  DIRTY SERIES

  Dirty Like Me (Dirty #1)

  Dirty Like Us (Dirty #0.5) - Free!

  Dirty Like Brody (Dirty #2)

  A Dirty Wedding Night (Dirty #2.5)

  Dirty Like Seth (Dirty #3)

  Dirty Like Dylan (Dirty #4)

  ... and more books in the Dirty series, coming soon!

  DEEP SERIES

  DEEP (DEEP #1)

  DEEPER (DEEP #2)

  Enjoy This Book?

  THANK YOU for reading Dirty Like Seth! Every book I write is a true labor of love, and the experience wouldn’t be complete without your part in it.

  Reaching new readers is how I keep this writing passion of mine going, and as an independent author I really need your help to do this.

  If you enjoy my books, the best thing you can do (besides buy my books!) is leave a review. When you tell other readers that you love my books, it encourages them to give my books a try, and ultimately that helps me continue to write more books!

  If you’ve enjoyed Dirty Like Seth, please consider leaving a review on Amazon; the review can be as short as you like.

  The link below will take you directly to this book’s Amazon page in your region. (On the book page, simply scroll down to Customer Reviews, and click on the button that says Write a customer review.)

  Dirty Like Seth on Amazon

  With enormous gratitude,

  Jaine

  Playlist

  Music, of course, features prominently in Seth and Elle’s love story—how could it not?

  As usual, some of the songs on the Dirty Like Seth playlist are mentioned in the book; others are songs that captured the feel of a certain scene or that I listened to while writing the book.

  Like the music in all the Dirty series books, this playlist features a whole lotta rock—from classic rock to hard rock and everything in-between—but it also includes other genres that I, and the characters in the book, enjoy as well. Elle, in particular, has a soft spot for electronic, pop and dance music; anything with a killer groove.

  I hope you enjoy coming along on the musical journey with us once again…

  Jaine

  Sample the songs on my website here,

  or listen to the playlist on Spotify here.

  Carry On Wayward Son — Kansas

  Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime — Beck

  Undun — The Guess Who

  Stone Cold Crazy — Metallica

  Devil Went Down to Georgia — Adrenaline Mob

  Six Days (feat. Mos Def) [Remix] — DJ Shadow

  Act Nice and Gentle — The Black Keys

  Always on the Run — Lenny Kravitz

  Wish You Were Here — Pink Floyd

  Glory Bound — Martin Sexton

  Breaking Down (Acoustic) — Florence + the Machine

  Ex-Girlfriend — No Doubt

  Feels (feat. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean) — Calvin Harris

  That’s What I Like — Bruno Mars

  Sugar — Maroon 5

  Band on the Run — Paul McCartney & Wings

  Angel — Jimi Hendrix

  It’s Only Rock ’n Roll (But I Like It) — The Rolling Stones

  Stuck in the Middle with You — Stealers Wheel

  Send Me an Angel — Highly Suspect

  Adrift — Jack Johnson

  Feel so Close (Radio Edit) — Calvin Harris

  Havana (feat. Young Thug) — Camila Cabello

  Strange Desire — The Black Keys

  So Lonely — The Police

  Trouble — Coldplay

  Say Something (feat. Chris Stapleton) — Justin Timberlake

  No Distraction — Beck

  The Drugs — Mother Mother

  Can’t Get You Off My Mind — Lenny Kravitz

  I’ll Be Your Man — The Black Keys

  So Fine — Guns N’ Roses

  Moves Like Jagger (The Voice Performance) [feat. Christina Aguilera] — Maroon 5

  Bad Side of the Moon — April Wine

  Hot Blood — Kaleo

  Wait till You See Him (De-Phazz Remix) — Ella Fitzgerald

  You Can
Do It — Ice Cube

  Touch Me — The Doors

  Seventh Heaven — Beck

  Any Way You Want It — Journey

  It’s My Life — No Doubt

  Keep Me — The Black Keys

  I Can’t Go On Without You — Kaleo

  Be Your Love — Bishop Briggs

  Next Girl — The Black Keys

  It Ain’t Over ’Til It’s Over — Lenny Kravitz

  Is This Love — Bob Marley & The Wailers

  Locked Out of Heaven — Bruno Mars

  We’re Here for a Good Time (Not a Long Time) — Trooper

  Acknowledgments

  First: I have to thank my incredible readers for coming along on this amazing rockstar romance journey with me, and for embracing Seth (even if you were pissed at him at first!), and wanting his story. As a writer I believe in taking risks; each new book I write challenges me in some way (big time), and writing Seth’s redemption story was definitely no exception. Thank you for trusting me to take you there; I hope you’ve fallen in love with Seth like Elle and I have!

  Thank you to all of you who entered the Name A Dirty Character contest. With nearly 500 entries, it was an extremely difficult choice! In the end, Summer was chosen as the winning name of Ash’s ex-girlfriend and Elle’s close friend, who makes her first (sassy) appearance in this book. A huge thank-you goes out to Shellcey Germano, who entered the name Summer in the contest! Summer may get her own book down the road, if we (and the men of the Dirty world) fall in love with her! Also, a special thank-you to Linda Fox and Desiree who both entered the name Skye, which was a (very) close runner-up name in the contest.

  Thank you, as always, to the many amazing, lovely and passionate bloggers who’ve continued to support me and my books, and a big thank you and lots of love to my amazing and ever-growing ARC Team!