Love & Loss (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  I scowled at him, he was enjoying this way too much. I took a few steps and felt my eyes widen as I reached out to grab the back of the sofa. The egg was caressing my insides as I walked, it felt like Gabe was inside me. I heard him chuckle again and spun around to fix him with a glare. ‘You’re so mean, how would you like it if I made you go out with … with a butt plug up your arse?’ I hissed.

  ‘You’re telling me it doesn’t feel good?’ he asked all innocently.

  ‘So not the point. Sofia’s going to know. Everyone’s going to know.’

  ‘No they won’t, they’ll just think you’re a bit flushed,’ he chuckled. I jumped as the telephone rang and Gabe strode over to get it. ‘Hi Dad … yes we’re ready, I’ll just grab my jacket and we’ll be down … ok.’ He hung up and winked at me as he grabbed his leather bomber off the back of a chair.

  ‘Come on then sexy annoyed girl. Time to go and no taking it out, I’ll be checking it’s there later.’

  ‘Gabe I wouldn’t have the first clue how to get the bloody thing out. What if I want to pee? Will it drop out?’

  ‘I know how to get it out, but I’m not going to tell you or you may slap me again,’ he chortled as he ushered me into the elevator. ‘As to peeing, I assume you just do it like normal.’

  ‘You assume? Great, just bloody great,’ I sighed as my shoulders slumped and what did he mean I’d slap him? ‘O God my ring, have you spoken to your Dad?’

  ‘Shit no, I forgot.’

  ‘I’d better take it off then,’ I said as I tucked my bag under my arm.

  ‘No you bloody don’t,’ he scowled. ‘You agreed to wear it until we were on the plane Mia. Don’t you dare take it off. He probably won’t even notice.’

  ‘It’s like a bloody brick on my hand Gabe, trust me everyone will notice. What do I say if Sofia asks me about it?’

  ‘The truth, you’re wearing it to please me, to show you’re mine, but you’re not ready to fix a date.’

  ‘Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘That’s not how we agreed this. I didn’t agree to wear it to show I’m yours. You make it sound like …’ I was cut off by the elevator door opening and Robert standing waiting for us and I automatically crossed my hands in front of me, putting my clutch bag over my left hand.

  ‘Mia you look fabulous,’ he said warmly as he kissed both cheeks.

  ‘Thank you and you look … very dressed down. I’ve never seen you so casual and hip,’ I exclaimed. He was in a pair of black utility jeans, black army boots, a white t-shirt and charcoal wool coat.

  ‘You sound surprised,’ he laughed. ‘I’m only forty two Mia, not eighty two.’

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. You’ve always been in suits when I’ve seen you, or your swimming trunks.’ I blushed at the memory, Gabe had been annoyed when I’d looked to see his Dad had a really good body.

  ‘Right, Sofia’s waiting for you outside. We’ll ring when we’re ready to come and meet you. It may not be until midnight so I hope you’ve eaten something to see you through the night?’

  ‘We had a big lunch,’ I smiled as we stepped outside. ‘Have fun both, don’t eat too many hotdogs.’ I went to step to the car as Antonio was holding the back door open for me.

  ‘Hey baby, don’t I get a goodbye kiss?’ Gabe grumbled. I turned around embarrassed, I wasn’t used to kissing him in front of his Dad, it was bad enough getting used to doing it in front of my Mum last weekend. I gave him a quick peck on the lips and went to move but he grabbed me by the waist, clasped the back of my head and moved in and kissed me properly, not stopping until I kissed him back the same.

  ‘Bloody hell son, put her down. You’re only going to be apart for a couple of hours,’ laughed Robert and I felt my cheeks flame as Gabe stepped back and steadied me, smiling at me happily.

  ‘Bye,’ I whispered, still a bit dazed.

  ‘Bye baby. Behave,’ he said with a wink as he strode off next to Robert. I climbed into the car carefully, mindful of the egg and my knickerless state and smiled as Antonio shut the door.

  ‘Hi Mia, you look lovely,’ purred Sofia, in her delicious foreign accent.

  ‘Thank you, so do you,’ I exclaimed kissing her on both cheeks and taking in her outfit. She was in a knee length black lace bandeau dress with an ivory ribbon around the waist and a dazzling diamond pendant and matching earrings. I saw her eyes flash down to my left hand and it was too late to cover up the ring.

  ‘You said yes,’ she clapped excitedly as the car started up.

  ‘O God,’ I sighed and covered my face with my hands. ‘Not quite.’

  ‘I’m confused, he asked you? Yes?’

  ‘Yes,’ I nodded and she pulled my hands away from my face.

  ‘You said yes though, you’re wearing it,’ she said looking puzzled. I sighed and filled her in and felt my tears pool in my eyes.

  ‘O Mia I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, Robert had told me Gabriel was going to ask you and when I saw you wearing it … I just assumed … Don’t be upset, if it doesn’t feel right then you can’t rush it. Only you’ll know when you’re ready,’ she advised as she stroked my hair.

  ‘You really think I will? Because I want to, I really want to make him happy by saying yes one day, but I’m not there yet.’

  ‘If there’s any element of worry over it you’re not ready Mia. It doesn’t mean you’re not in love, you’re just aware that it’s a big commitment. There should be no going back, a marriage should be for life.’

  ‘But you … you’re divorced,’ I whispered.

  ‘Yes and I accepted his proposal even though it didn’t feel right. I was madly in love with him, but something was off, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I was scared he’d leave me if I said no, so I got engaged and married quickly against my better judgement. Anyway he turned out to be a cheating bastard, so I got my own back and took him for every penny I could.’ She looked at me and giggled and I laughed with her. ‘Mia, you’re brave to have said how you really feel, I’m sure Gabriel will respect that when he’s had time to come to terms with it.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I sighed as I played with it. ‘I shouldn’t be wearing it now, but it meant so much to him and I knew I’d upset him by saying no, so I agreed to wear it for a few days. I’m worried how he’ll handle it when I take it off when we get home.’

  ‘You’ll handle him,’ she smiled. ‘He’s besotted with you and I think you know that you could get away with anything. Some men like to think that they are the dominant ones, always in charge, but really we’re the ones in control, we just let them to think they are.’

  ‘Sofia,’ I giggled and she smiled and squeezed my hand. I liked her I could tell we were going to have a fun night. Antonio dropped us off at 230 Fifth Avenue first.

  ‘I thought we’d start in the more touristy bars,’ Sofia told me as we got in the elevator. ‘To let you enjoy the views as it’s your first time.’

  I went to get my purse out as we ordered some champagne bellini’s.

  ‘Put it away Mia, or you’ll get us in trouble. Anyway as far as Robert’s concerned the night’s on him,’ she said as she showed me his Amex card and then put it back in her purse and pulled out her own. ‘But I’m not one of those girlfriends who likes to abuse her partners cards so the night’s on me.’

  ‘But Sofia, cocktails in this city are really expensive,’ I protested, thinking how much more I liked her knowing that she had morals.

  ‘Mia, with the money I got as a settlement I could buy Robert’s company if I wanted and still have spare change. A few cocktails on a night out with my new friend won’t even cause a breeze. And that’s our little secret,’ she winked as she handed over her card. ‘Accept the evening out graciously as my thank you for trying to make my first meeting with Gabriel more comfortable.’

  ‘Thank you, that’s really sweet of you and my lips are sealed,’ I nodded, miming a zip with my fingers in front of my lips. More money than Robert? Holy cow, how did these people do it? I ga
sped in amazement as we stepped out onto the roof top terrace to see the Empire State Building from a different angle. ‘Wow.’

  ‘I forget how good the city looks, you do when you live here,’ she smiled.

  We enjoyed a second cocktail before I started to shiver and she called Antonio and he whisked us to the next cocktail bar with a view in the warmth and I carefully perched on a bar stool holding a delicious milk chocolate martini. It wasn’t look before we spotted a couple of handsome chaps in their thirties advancing on us and I saw Sofia raise an amused eyebrow at me, so I held up my left hand to indicate for them to stop, then turned it and flashed my ring and they moved on.

  ‘Well it seems it does seem to have its benefits, more polite than my usual scowl or a slap back home when men approach me,’ I smiled.

  ‘May I see it?’ she asked. I held my hand out shyly as she took it and studied it and nodded her head in approval. ‘Look after this sweetie, that’s at least a two carat diamond.’

  ‘What?’ I exclaimed as I pulled my hand back to look at it.

  ‘I know my diamonds,’ she smiled. I sighed, just how much had Gabe spent? He was crazy. I moved onto traditional cosmopolitans after I drained the sickly chocolate one. I was buzzing and the two of us were in stitches comparing how similar Robert and Gabe were in trying to control us. ‘Is he dominant in the bedroom as well?’ she asked with a girlish giggle that reminded me of me.

  ‘Yes,’ I blushed. ‘Sometimes very much, but I like it.’

  ‘Hmmm Robert too.’

  ‘No, stop,’ I screeched with laughter covering my ears. ‘Too much information about my potential future father in law.’

  ‘As long as it’s good, it goes a long way to helping a relationship.’

  ‘O it’s soooo good,’ I sighed, my eyes glazing over at the thought of it and the heavy weight of the egg nestled inside me.

  ‘To being in love,’ she toasted holding up her glass.

  ‘I’ll second that,’ I clinked. Sofia suddenly held up a perfectly manicured finger to me and lifted her phone to her ear.

  ‘Robert did you have a good time? …. They lost? O dear …. Sure how long … ok we’ll meet you in there darling … I’ve had a few yes … no I’m still able to walk,’ she rolled her eyes at me and it was my turn to giggle. It did seem Robert was like his son. ‘No she’s sat right by me … yes I’ll tell her off for him. See you in a while … you too.’ She tucked her phone away and looked at me. ‘Someone’s in trouble,’ she smiled.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Gabe’s been ringing you and you haven’t answered.’

  ‘O God, he gets so mad about nothing. I must have left it on silent again,’ I muttered as I pulled it out of my bag and sighed. Three missed calls and a text. I decided to ignore them, not wanting to lower my happy mood, he already knew I was ok.

  ‘You’re not ringing him back?’ She sounded surprised.

  ‘No, he’s controlling enough without expecting me to jump every time he asks me too. He knows I’m with you and I’m safe, he can wait.’

  ‘I so wish I was like you at that age Mia, you don’t stand for any nonsense.’

  ‘I worry that if I let him control me too much now I’ll make a rod for my own back.’

  ‘Indeed.’

  ‘So are they joining us here?’

  ‘No, they’re going back to Robert’s to get changed and are meeting us at the 40/40 club.’

  ‘We’re going to the 40/40 club?’ I exclaimed. I’d heard all about it, it was one of the places to go in New York, loads of famous people went there. This was crazy. ‘Am I dressed up enough?’ I asked panicking.

  ‘Perfectly,’ she smiled. ‘Let’s freshen up before Antonio collects us.’

  An hour later I sat on a white leather chair overlooking the bar and Sofia had to keep reminding me to close my mouth as she laughed at my reaction to being here. It was stunning and I was recognising so many people and blushed as Sam, the lead singer from the latest boy band Nevada 6 winked at me as he checked me out. We’d got an ice bucket with champagne and I was well on my way, Sofia seemed to be more accustomed to drinking than me.

  ‘They’re here.’ She nodded towards the bar. I looked down and sighed as I saw Gabe standing there looking around for me. He had on his dark charcoal suit with a crisp white shirt undone at the collar. He was a cross between a blond Astrild, Norse God of erotic love and Min, Egyptian God of potency and fertility. Simply breathtakingly hot and sexy and he was mine, all mine. He locked eyes with me and a wide smile played on his face and I heard myself make a little contented sigh as he blew me a kiss. ‘We really are very lucky girls indeed aren’t we,’ stated Sofia softly as she gazed at Robert adoringly, who cut an equally dashing figure.

  ‘Yes, yes we are,’ I agreed. I watched as Gabe politely turned away a blonde who was giggling as she tried to flirt with him. As she tried to approach him again, I bristled, but he said something to Robert and quickly strode away, towards me.

  ‘Baby,’ he smiled as he leaned over and kissed me. I let out a small moan, he smelt good enough on his own, but he’d got that aftershave on as well. It was a dizzyingly heady mix. I looked up at him as he turned and kissed Sofia on both cheeks and positioned himself between us and clasped my hand. ‘I missed you and you didn’t answer my calls,’ he murmured in my ear before kissing me again.

  I opened my mouth to apologise and try and explain, but he turned to talk to Sofia. I caressed the back of his hand with my thumb happy that he was making an effort with her. She was really fun and obviously madly in love with Robert and wasn’t using him, I hoped Gabe would accept her in his life. Robert appeared moments later and grasped Sofia’s face and kissed her on the lips and I felt Gabe stiffen a little, so I squeezed his hand tightly. It must be so hard for him to see this.

  They filled us in on the Knicks game, gutted they’d lost, but they seemed to have had a good time. Neither of them looked amused when Robert found out how many drinks we’d had with no food, so when another bottle of champagne was delivered he ordered some finger food for us. I excused myself to go to the toilet and gasped as I stood up, a combination of the egg feeling really heavy inside me after so many hours and all the alcohol. Gabe jumped up and took my hand.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I muttered.

  ‘I’ll be the judge of that. I’ll take you. Excuse us.’

  ‘I don’t want to be kicked out of here for lewd toilet behaviour Gabriel, I like this place,’ grinned Robert. Gabe shook his head in despair and led me to the toilets and insisted on waiting outside. I made my way in, with a small stumble and shook my head and focussed on what I was doing. I’d deliberately not had a pee all night, terrified of what might happen and sat gingerly on the toilet. It took me a few attempts before I finally just did it, surprised the egg didn’t move. I washed up and touched up my lip gloss and eyes and raked my fingers through my hair and sent Lex a text.

  How are you? You’re so going to love it in New York when we can come together Lex. It’s AMAZING. I’m in the 40/40 club and there are so many celebrities here. Looking forward to seeing you Tuesday. Love you xxx

  I made my way out and Gabe was leaning against the opposite wall, one foot up on it, looking sexily nonchalant.

  ‘At last. What were you doing in there?’

  ‘Sorry, I was scared to go, I had to pluck up the courage.’

  ‘You haven’t been all night?’

  ‘No, I was worried it would pop out.’

  ‘How’s it feeling?’

  ‘Heavy and I’m seriously horny. I hope you’re ready for a good session when we get home.’

  ‘Yes I am. You look amazing and knowing you’ve no knickers on and that inside you … the thought of it has distracted me all night.’

  ‘How are you getting on with Sofia?’ I asked as we walked back.

  ‘Ok, she actually seems really nice, it’s just hard seeing Dad intimate like that. I haven’t seen that since …’ He huffed out and smiled at me.

 
‘I know. I’m sorry it’s so hard for you. She’s a lovely person though, madly in love with him too and I can promise you she’s not a gold digger. She paid for us all night despite having one of his cards.’

  ‘I’ll get her a gift for being so nice to you, what do you think would be appropriate?’

  ‘Well not a two carat diamond that’s for sure,’ I muttered before thinking to apply a filter.

  ‘What?’ he said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face me.

  ‘What?’ I asked, praying he hadn’t heard me.

  ‘Don’t what me. How did you know the carat?’ he demanded.

  ‘Sofia knows her diamonds.’ I straightened up and looked him in the eye. ‘How much did you spend Gabe?’

  ‘I’m not telling you, it’s none of your business.’

  ‘I need to know to get it covered on my house insurance.’

  ‘No you don’t,’ he snapped running a hand through his hair and putting a hand on his hip. ‘It’s already covered on mine.’

  ‘I can just go down to a jewellers and get it valued without you Gabe, you can’t hide this from me.’

  ‘Mia please don’t. I don’t want to argue about this.’

  ‘How much Gabe? Tell me or I’ll go and find out,’ I demanded.

  ‘Thirty six,’ he sighed. I gasped and took a step back and put a hand protectively over it.

  ‘Thirty six thousand?’ I whispered looking at him. ‘Thirty six thousand pounds?’ I could hear my own voice rising. ‘Are you fucking CRAZY?’

  ‘Keep your voice down,’ he hissed, but had the good grace to look embarrassed.

  ‘Gabe that’s monstrous amount of money. Don’t you have any restraint at all? You couldn’t have gone to high street shop or something?’

  ‘Don’t. Just don’t Mia,’ he glowered. ‘One of my conditions was you back off about my finances. I won’t justify spending my own fucking money on a quality engagement ring for the girl I want to marry.’