Love & Loss (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  Gabe and I were nearly at the end of our three week summer holiday and it had been amazing. We’d flown to San Francisco and had a few days there, then hired a convertible and had driven through the Napa Valley, visited the Jelly Belly Factory, then followed the Pacific highway down the West coast of California, stopping in places like Carmel, Monterey Bay for the aquarium and Los Angeles. I’d been over the moon to do the Hollywood Studio’s tour before we headed to San Diego and did SeaWorld, then Anaheim for Disneyland. We’d flown to Vegas and picked up another convertible for our last five days staying at Wynn Encore in a luxurious Parlour Suite. We’d simply had the most amazing time, fantastic sights, amazing food and of course the sex. Plenty of sex. When Gabe was in holiday mode his sex drive increased and mine was having no trouble keeping up with him. I tore my eyes away from the Grand Canyon, it may be one of the natural wonders of the world, but I had number one on the list sitting right next to me.

  His blond hair had gone lighter and his skin was a beautiful golden brown. He always relaxed when we were away from home, but he looked completely chilled and happy which warmed my heart. I scanned his body as he looked out of the helicopter window on his side. He was dressed in a loose white shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, stone knee length combats and black Paul Smith flip flops with his mirrored aviator sunglasses. He really should be a top international male model I thought as I looked at him. He suddenly turned his head to look at me and smiled to catch me staring. I blushed and went to look away, but he captured the side of my face with his hand and leaned in and kissed me. ‘Ok baby,’ he mouthed. I smiled, nodded and clasped his hand as I looked back out at the view.

  I stretched up my arms and stuck my hands out of the open roof of the car and screamed happily as Gabe zipped down the freeway back towards Las Vegas.

  ‘O my GOD, this trip has been amazing Gabe, I’m so happy right now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.’ I grabbed his hand off the gearstick and plastered it in kisses making him laugh.

  ‘It has and it’s not over yet, we don’t fly home until tomorrow.’

  ‘Don’t remind me of home. I could stay on the run like this with you forever,’ I grinned.

  ‘Me too,’ he smiled back. ‘But the solicitor is expecting you Friday so you can sign all the paperwork.’

  ‘I know,’ I nodded. ‘And I’m looking forward to starting this new venture with you, but I’ve just loved being alone with you for so long.’

  ‘We’ll have more holidays baby.’ He flashed me a smile before returning his eyes to the road. I was happy about how things were going at home, but being here, just the two of us with Gabe so happy had been bliss.

  Lexi’s meeting with her dad had gone really well. Gabe and I had joined them for Sunday lunch and Mr Clarke had embarrassed me by repeatedly telling me how grateful he was to Mum, Gerry and I for looking after her. I was so happy for her, he kept putting his hand over the top of hers and it was obvious how much he’d missed her. He was buying my apartment off me and we were completing on Friday. Lexi was going to pay him minimum rent on it, but it would be her house. Richard had purchased it for £260,000 but Mr Clarke had paid me £290,000, which he insisted was the market value. I’d tried to repay Richard all of it, by liaising with Christine his PA, but she’d refused to give me his account details and said she’d rip up any cheques if I sent them. She’d actually surprised me by saying “Mia, I may work for him, but the man is an arrogant, heartless bastard. Keep the money, he won’t miss it. Maybe it will make up for some of the crap he’s put you and your sister through over the years. Of course I’ll deny ever saying that if it ever comes up, I want to keep my job. Go and enjoy it.”

  Mum, Gerry, Gabe and Robert had ganged up on me and insisted that I did keep it, so when Gabe told me that the nightclub on floor 27 of his dad’s office building was up for a new owner, he suggested we take it over as business partners, gut and remodel the place and turn it into an exclusive strip club. He still didn’t want me dancing, but agreed that I could work with the girls we recruited to train them and help come up with new routines.

  Robert was acting as a silent partner and paying the upfront lease payment and monthly payments until we could afford to pay him back from the profit and the documents were all being signed for that on Friday as well. We’d had quotes off Tom for £60,000 to redesign the massive space, so I was putting in £30,000 and was seeing Gabe’s broker to invest the rest of my money from the apartment sale for a monthly income, plus I’d be earning a salary as general manager of the club alongside Gabe. Doug and Lexi were going to share assistant manager positions and run the bar between them for us too. Things were just going so perfectly for Gabe, Lexi and I that I was worrying that it was all too good to be true. I smiled as Gabe squeezed my thigh and I picked up his hand and kissed it, before he returned it to the wheel. I put my hand up on my chest and toyed with my ring through my vest top and bit my lip as I looked out at the desert and rocky landscape.

  ‘That was a seriously lovely meal,’ I sighed as I put my napkin back on the table. We were eating outside, on the veranda of the restaurant in the Paris hotel, after having taken a trip up the mini Eiffel Tower.

  ‘It was good,’ nodded Gabe as he cleared his plate of the lemon tart.

  ‘This has been my best holiday ever Gabe, thank you so much for bringing me,’ I smiled. He lifted his head and blew me a kiss.

  ‘It’s been mine too baby. I can’t wait to plan our next one.’

  ‘Will we be able to go on holiday if we’re running our own club?’

  ‘We’ll make damn sure that Doug and Lexi are up to running it for us while we’re away. We’re still reachable anywhere there’s Wi-Fi,’ he reminded me.

  ‘To our next holiday then,’ I smiled as I lifted up the remains of my glass of water, it had been a teetotal holiday, as good as a detox.

  ‘To us,’ Gabe replied as he clinked back. ‘So what would you like to do this evening Miss Page?’

  ‘I’d actually love to go and sit on the wall over there and watch the Bellagio fountains and listen to the music, then go back to our room and have a bubble bath with you and have sex for the rest of the night.’

  ‘We’ve done it three times today,’ he reminded me. ‘Some people would be over the moon to do it three times a month, let alone three times a day,’ he chuckled, quoting my words from Edinburgh back to me.

  ‘Well I’m not most people,’ I replied with a cock of my head and a wink.

  ‘Damn it baby. I’ve been hard all night with you wearing that dress again and now you’re begging me for sex?’

  ‘I’ll get on my knees if that helps?’ I offered. I knew wearing this outfit I’d worn on our fantasy date in the bar in London would get him going. Plus with all the parts of me that weren’t covered, it was cooling in this ridiculous heat.

  ‘I like you on your knees,’ he replied with a wiggle of his eyebrows, making me laugh. He leaned forward and grabbed my hand. ‘Especially when my big cock’s in that succulent mouth of yours.’

  ‘You have such a way with words,’ I giggled. He kissed my hand and gestured the waiter over and settled the bill, before helping me up and putting his arm around my waist as we headed over to claim a spot sitting opposite the fountains. I’d particularly wanted to see the showing with Andrea Bocelli’s Con Te Partiro, Time to Say Goodbye, it seemed fitting on our last night. Gabe helped me onto the wall and I crossed my legs as he sat next to me and took my hand, his thumb rubbing it. There was a light breeze, which was so welcome and I smiled as I watched him again, his blond hair lifting and falling as the wind caught it. I was convinced that he was the most handsome man who ever walked the earth, and the looks he was getting as he sat there in his black shirt and grey trousers confirmed it. Yet he seemed totally oblivious to all the attention, he really was mine.

  ‘I thought we came to watch the fountains,’ he chuckled without looking at me.

  ‘We did, but I just wanted to admire my handsome man while I sat here w
aiting.’

  ‘Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight,’ he smiled as he turned to face me.

  ‘Just a few times,’ I smiled.

  ‘You take my breath away baby, I’m so in love with you.’

  ‘And me with you Gabe,’ I whispered and he leaned in and planted a soft, gentle kiss on my lips as a load of clapping and cheers went up. We laughed as we heard the music start, the crowd was excited for that, not for us having a tender moment. I felt goose bumps all over my arms as the music reached a crescendo and the water shot high in the air, it was breath taking to watch and I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks. I just knew that I was never going to be as happy as I felt right now with anyone but Gabe. And it wasn’t the money, his gifts, or the lavish extravagant trips. It was moments like this, where we sat in comfortable silence, where he looked at me like I was his everything, how he’d go to the ends of the earth to protect me. I uncrossed my legs and quickly hopped off the wall and turned and pulled his knees apart as I tucked in, clasped his face and kissed him passionately.

  ‘Mia?’ he looked surprised as I pulled away. I was missing the finale of the show.

  ‘I love you Gabe, I’m never going to love anyone the way I love you,’ I said sincerely as I held his gaze. I reached down my cleavage, extracted his ring then pulled the necklace holding it over my head. He looked at me with a puzzled expression, that turned even more confused as I put the necklace over his head. ‘I’m ready, I’m ready for you to ask me again Gabe,’ I whispered and cried a bit more as his face lit up.

  ‘You mean it? You really mean it?’ he uttered on a choke of emotion.

  ‘I do, with all of my heart Gabe Austin. You’re the love of my life, my best friend and my soul mate and I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you make me every day.’

  ‘As my wife?’ he asked, his voice full of hope.

  ‘As your wife,’ I nodded and started crying properly as some tears of happiness rolled down his face too. He grabbed my face and kissed me with such passion, I slumped against his chest and my legs started to shake as the realisation hit me that I’d effectively just proposed to him, well given him the green light to propose to me in the knowledge that I was going to say yes this time. I, Mia Page, self-confessed commitment phobe with issues over relationships and marriage, had just taken the biggest leap of my life, yet was stunned to realise that it was less scary than standing on the glass skywalk over the Canyon earlier today. Gabe slid off the wall and pressed up against me, his heart beating wildly as he held me in his arms and looked into my eyes with pure contentment. I reached up and wiped the drops off his lashes. ‘Are you happy Mr Austin?’

  ‘Absolutely ecstatic Miss Page, you’ve made me the happiest man in the Universe. Come on we need to get back.’

  ‘But the show hasn’t finished.’

  ‘I don’t care. I need to buy you something to go on this necklace to replace the ring that I’ll be giving back to you one day. We can stop at Cartier on the way back to our suite, because I have a sudden need to make you come over and over again, until I put you into a happiness induced orgasm coma so you know exactly how you just made me feel,’ he grinned.

  ‘Well please tuck my ring into your shirt, that’s a lot of money swinging around and I don’t want it snatched off you.’ I picked it up and dropped it down his shirt as he laughed. I kissed him again and took his hand as we headed back to the hotel. I was finding it hard to keep up with his determined march, so he swooped me up into his arms and carried me back, all the way into Cartier, much to my mortification. He purchased me a white gold and diamond love pendant to go on my chain and took my necklace off and asked them to box up my ring, which they agreed to do, much to my surprise. I asked him to wait outside, while I purchased him a black leather and stainless steel Cartier money clip. I wanted him to have something to remember the occasion.

  As soon as we got back to the room, he put the ring in the safe and tugged me to him and put my necklace with the new pendant around my neck.

  ‘I love it Gabe, thank you,’ I beamed. ‘And here’s a little gift for you to mark the occasion and to thank you for my wonderful trip.’

  ‘Mia I love it, thank you,’ he smiled as he picked it up and examined it.

  ‘The idea is you keep your money safely in it, not out of it buying me extravagant gifts and holidays.’

  ‘You never give up do you?’ he laughed.

  ‘No, now what about this orgasm coma you promised me?’

  ‘Coming right up baby,’ he winked and threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the bathroom as I screamed with laughter.

  Anniversaries

  I sat in the Mercedes looking out of the window and felt my worries floating away. I’d been more and more convinced that I was been watched or followed lately, but Gabe had taken such massive steps in his recovery that I didn’t want to worry him or cause him to have a relapse. Getting away for a city break was just what I needed. Riley dropped us at the airport, with Gabe still grumbling that I wouldn’t tell him where I was taking him for his birthday, as well as the fact that I was paying for it.

  ‘God you don’t half whinge,’ I laughed as I held his hand as we toured the departures lounge and he looked longingly at the executive entrance.

  ‘We could have been in that massage chair with a smoked bacon sandwich instead of fighting our way through these crowds.’

  ‘Well I don’t have a super duper Amex card with benefits.’

  ‘I’ll get you one on my account,’ he volunteered.

  ‘I’m fine thank you, I don’t need one.’

  ‘You will if you keep spending on all of that money on interior design stuff for the club.’

  ‘You want high end clients, it needs to look high end Gabe,’ I objected. We’d had an interior designer around to run through my ideas. I wanted it classic, clean cut and masculine and suggested tones of black, white, gold and silver, with chandeliers and antique effect baroque mirrors. Tom had already worked out a floor plan that we’d approved, with a two offices and a staff room and store room behind the long bar. I’d suggested high backed booths for groups of guys to have some privacy if they’d come to talk business while enjoying a night out. I’d also suggested that the booths have a sliding screen to seal them off, so lap dances could be carried out without the view of other guests to make it feel more intimate and personal. The other side of the building had been sectioned off with the rear as the dancers dressing room and large dance studio with poles for the girls to practice. Then at the front, with the benefit of the backdrop of the city lights, were ten individual rooms, for private lap, pole or table dances and a main stage for the pole dancing.

  ‘I know baby, people are going to be queuing to get on the waiting list for membership.’

  ‘How are you doing with the promotional side?’

  ‘Dad’s pulling in a load of contacts. He has loads of wealthy clients, with wealthy friends, so don’t worry about that. You need to focus on getting a team of girls together.’

  ‘Well I’ve already poached Cindy, Max and four other dancers from Peppers,’ I grinned. ‘Can we not talk about work for the next five days please? I want to enjoy being away with my boyfriend in the most wonderful city in the world.’

  ‘Which city?’

  ‘We’re going to Paris,’ I grinned. I hadn’t let him see the tickets when I’d done the electronic check in.

  ‘It’s really that good?’ he smiled.

  ‘Gabe. It’s the architecture, the squares, tree lined avenues, the cheese and wine. I love it and I hope you will too.’

  ‘I’ll love it because I’m with you and you’re happy baby.’

  ‘Old smoothie,’ I giggled as he kissed me.

  ‘Hmmm, twenty in two days, you’ll be trading me in for a younger model.’

  ‘I’d need three or four younger models to make up for your sex drive baby,’ I replied with a smile, which got me a beaming one in return.

  I was s
o happy that Gabe loved my choice of accommodation. Instead of a hotel, I’d rented a quaint old eaves apartment in the seventh arrondissement district, on the left bank with unobstructed views of the Eiffel Tower and Champs de Mars gardens. I was lucky as it was the last rental they were taking as it was going on the market for sale. It was all painted in white, with exposed painted floorboards, beautiful chandeliers and white furniture. There was a large open plan room which housed a small kitchen with a bistro table and chairs and the lounge with a log burner, then there was a separate small bedroom with an adjoining wet room with a small claw foot bath.

  Each room had tall French windows that led onto a small balcony that ran the length of the building, with another set of table and chairs outside and a rattan outdoor sofa. It was just as pretty and romantic as I’d imagined it from the few photos and descriptions and I had all these ideas of us strolling hand in hand to the open air rue Cler markets and picking up fresh bread and croissants, camembert, brie, pate, fruit and wine and lazing about in the evenings, taking advantage of each other over and over. I didn’t have to wait long, as soon as Gabe dropped our cases on the floor in the bedroom, he grabbed me and threw me on the bed and I squealed with delight as he advanced on me ripping off his shirt.

  I lay on my side facing him, so excited waiting for him to wake up to his birthday. It was hard to believe how well he slept nowadays, he told me that it was because of me, that I was chasing away the nightmare’s he used to have about his Mum’s death, but I was sure his weekly sessions with Dr Jarvis were helping too. He finally seemed to be accepting that her accident wasn’t his fault, which had made Robert and I so happy. He lay on his stomach, his right hand laced with my left one up on the pillow, his face turned in my direction. His lips were parted as he gently breathed and I sat happily studying the angles of his face as the sunlight bounced off them through the open windows. It had been gloriously hot since we arrived, and was due to last for the next couple of days we were here. I hated air conditioning in the bedroom so we’d slept with the French windows open and shutters pulled back, gazing at the bright moon and Eiffel Tower as I’d fallen asleep in his arms. I watched as he smacked his lips together and made a slight contended sigh. I couldn’t wait any longer, I wanted him to open his presents. I’d even cut down on my luggage to fit in his gifts from his Dad, Lexi and Doug as well. I leaned over and kissed him and he stirred, so I did it again.