Ashes

by Taisha S. Ryan

  Ashes

  Taisha S. Ryan

  (2015)

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  Ashes

  A NOVEL

  By: Taisha Ryan

  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, and events are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without author’s permission.

  Cover Artwork by: Micah Shipp

  Copyright © by Taisha S. Ryan

  All rights reserved.

  Chapter 1

  May 10, 2012

  She would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. It would be the first time in 2 years since she last saw her. What would they say to each other? What could they say? So much time had passed. So much had happened. And to now face her after so long, she didn't know what to expect.

  When a brown skinned woman entered the restaurant, Zara sat up. It was none other than her sister, Reyna, her presence demanding attention as it always did whenever she entered a room. Zara could hardly recognize her. The first thing she noticed was the change in her hair. She now sported a short pixie cut, a vast difference from the shoulder length tresses she usually wore. She was noticeably thicker too, wearing her healthy weight in just the right places. Her yellow summer dress adorning her curvaceous frame, complimented well with her sienna brown skin. Zara was blown away. She was even more beautiful than she remembered.

  Their eyes met and Reyna's face brightened. Zara stood up as Reyna rushed to her with open arms. They instantly embraced, and a wave of emotions washed over her as she held her sister for the first time in years. It had been so long. She didn't realize how much she missed her until now.

  "I can't believe it's been this long." Reyna pulled back, her eyes glistened with tears as she stared at her with a smile. "Look at you."

  "Yeah, I look a mess." She averted her gaze, running her fingers through her golden tinted dreadlocks. Clad in nothing but a simple worn out T-shirt, jeans and sneakers, she looked dreadful compared to her sister.

  "No, still beautiful."

  Zara's eyes welled with tears.

  Reyna rubbed her thumbs across her honey toned cheeks, wiping away Zara's tears. She brought her into another hug. "I missed you."

  "I missed you too," Zara whispered.

  "C'mon, let's sit down." Reyna brought her to the nearby table.

  As they sat across from each other, Reyna shook her head. "I can't believe it's been 2 years.”

  "Yeah, I know."

  "I’m surprised you called. I never thought I’d hear from you again.”

  “Yeah…” Zara looked down.

  “And you look so different. I barely even recognize you."

  Zara wasn't surprised. Since the last time they had seen each other, her dreads had grown longer, she was slimmer, and her body was covered in more tattoos.

  "I could say the same for you. I never thought you'd cut your hair," she said.

  "Yeah, I needed a change."

  "I like it."

  "You do?"

  Zara nodded. It really brought out her features. Her brown almond eyes, her full lips, her high cheek bones, her heart-shaped face. The very same features that Zara had also inherited. Despite how different they were as women, no one could deny that they were sisters.

  "Thanks. Rodney said he likes it better like this too, so I might just keep it."

  "So, ya'll are still together, huh?"

  "Yeah." Reyna blushed and held up her hand. Zara's eyes widened at the diamond ring.

  "Oh shit," was all she could say.

  "He proposed to me last week."

  "Whaaaat? That's great, Rey. Congrats." Zara was happy for her. She knew how much she loved Rodney. They had been together for over 10 years, from high school sweethearts to now engaged lovers. If there was anyone that made Zara believe in love, it were those two.

  "Thanks. I'm still in shock from it all," Reyna admitted.

  "Shit, it’s about time he put a ring on it."

  "Right?" They laughed.

  After their laughter subsided, Reyna stared at her. "Where have you been, Zara? I mean, it's been years. I thought something happened to you."

  Zara let out a sigh. "After the accident and everything, I just needed to lay low for a while."

  "Why? You should've called me when you were released from prison. Instead, you just disappeared."

  "I was too ashamed to face anybody. I couldn't."

  "Well, you should've. We were all worried about you. Me, Ma, Rodney, everybody."

  "Ma was worried?" she said, shocked. The last time she saw her, she had spat nothing but hurtful words to her. She didn't even visit her while she was in prison, much less answer any of her calls.

  "Yeah, she was."

  "The last time I saw her, she wanted nothing to do with me," she said, still hurt from her mother's abandonment.

  "She was just hurt from it all. But she still loves you."

  Zara doubted that.

  "How is she?"

  "She's doing good. The same ol' Ma. She's down in North Carolina now with Aunt Maureen and them. You should give her a call sometime, she'd be happy to hear from you."

  Zara shook her head. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, right now."

  Reyna held her hand and Zara met her gaze. "You're still family, Zara. Nothing's going to change that. Give her a call."

  Zara sighed. "One of these days I will."

  She wasn't sure when that time would come. Maybe one day, she would develop enough courage to talk to her mother, but right now, she would much rather keep things the way they were.

  "So, where are you staying now?" Reyna asked.

  "Well, right now? Nowhere."

  Reyna frowned. "So, you're homeless?"

  She plummeted with shame. "Yeah. That's why I was hoping if I could maybe crash at your place until I get back on my feet."

  "Of course you could. You don't even have to ask, Zara. You know that."

  Her heart eased with relief.

  "Thank you."

  Chapter 2

  For the whole car ride, Reyna and Zara caught up like two old friends, never missing a beat. It felt good to talk to her sister again. She learned that Reyna and Rodney had recently purchased a home in upstate Westchester. With Rodney now the manager of a successful engineering company and Reyna an occupational therapist, they now lived comfortably in a 5 bedroom suburban home.

  It was amazing how far they had come. From living in the destitute projects of South Bronx, to now becoming successful people in their own right, was commendable. Zara always knew they would make it though. Especially Reyna. She had always been the responsible one. The one that kept her head in the books. The honor roll student. The one that went to college. While Zara on the other hand, was the total opposite. The younger one, 5 years to be exact, Zara was the wild child. Always getting into trouble, in and out of school. Getting high. Running around with boys. There was no surprise that her path took a downward spiral instead. And now at 26, she felt like a total fuck up. She was now a homeless, recovering drug addict, with a criminal record. It was shameful.

  When they pulled up in the driveway of Reyna's 2 story home, Zara blinked in shock. The colonial house, entailed with pillars and a porch, stood as monumental as can be, within the spacious front yard adorned with neatly trimmed lawn and a cobble stone driveway trailing toward the home.

  "Damn Rey, ya'll are ballin'," Zara said in amazement.

  "A lil' bit," Reyna said with a laugh.

  Reyna gave her a tour of the house, showing her the living room, the den, kitchen, the basement, even the spacious backyard built with a wooden deck and
an in ground pool.

  Zara was in awe.

  Her sister was definitely living good.

  "C'mon, let me show you your room," Reyna directed.

  Zara followed Reyna up the stairs. When they passed one of the rooms, Zara stopped in her tracks when she noticed it was occupied.

  "Who sleeps here?" she asked.

  Reyna turned around. "Oh, I didn't tell you..."

  "Tell me what?" Zara gave her a hesitant look.

  "Vance is staying here."

  She froze.

  "Vance? Vance who?"

  Reyna gave her a certain look, her eyes revealing the answer.

  Her heart shot to the pit of her stomach, like a meteor crashing unto earth's atmosphere, shattering its core. Her knees suddenly growing weak, Zara leaned against the wall for support.

  "You can't be serious. Vance is staying here? Why the fuck didn't you tell me that before, Reyna?"

  "Because if I did, you would've just ran away again and ended up right back on the streets."

  "You damn right.’Cause there's no way I'm staying with his ass here." Zara hurried to the staircase and Reyna grabbed her arm to stop her.

  "Zara wait! Just stay, please."

  Zara spun around. "For what, Reyna? He hates my ass. How the hell you expect me to stay under the same roof as him?"

  "Look, it'll only be for a little while. He's just staying until his house gets renovated."

  "And how long will that be?"

  She bit her lip. "A few months?"

  "A few what? Fuck that." Zara turned away and trotted down the stairs. She would rather live on the streets than be under the same roof as Vance for that long.

  "Zara, wait!"

  Ignoring her, she hurried to the door. The door swung open and she suddenly stopped in her tracks. Her breath caught in her throat at the person before her.

  "Oh shit, Zara? What the...."

  She didn't even notice Rodney's presence. She could barely muster up the words to speak, as the dryness eroded her throat. There was such shock on his face, as though he were wondering if it were really her in the flesh. Within moments, the reality had stricken him, and the shock on his face quickly shifted to anger. The creases formed between his eyebrows, as his dark eyes reddened with fiery rage, burning through her soul.

  "The fuck are you doing here," venom dripped from his baritone.

  Zara's insides plummeted. He spoke with such rigor and she had never felt so small.

  "Huh?" He slowly approached her and Zara tensed. He yanked her shirt, startling her. "Bitch, I said what the fuck are you doing here?!?"

  "Aye yo chill, man!" Rodney held him back.

  "Vance!" Reyna intervened, getting in between them. "What the hell is wrong with you? You outta ya damn mind?"

  "The fuck is she doing here?!?" Vance yelled as Rodney restrained him.

  "Just calm down, man!"

  Zara shook her head, fighting back tears. She knew she shouldn't have come here. She turned away and left the house.

  "Zara, wait!"

  Zara quickened her pace. There was no way she was staying here, not with Vance's crazy ass. She had to leave. She didn't care where she was going. As long as it was far away from here.

  "Zara, stop!"

  Zara ignored her. Nothing Reyna could say, was going to convince her to stay. Nothing.

  Reyna grabbed her arm and she yanked it away.

  "Zara!" Reyna rushed in front of her, blocking her path. "Please, don't leave. Forget Vance, okay. He's an ass. "

  Zara kept walking, bypassing her.

  "You've been out of my life for 2 years and I'm not letting you go again. Not this time!"

  The fervor in her tone made Zara stop. She turned around.

  "You don't know how much I missed you, Za."

  Her heart softened when Reyna began to cry. Zara walked toward her and embraced her.

  "I missed you too," she whispered, rubbing her back soothingly. Just knowing how much pain she caused her sister, burned her with guilt. She didn't mean to hurt her, she truly didn't.

  "You can't leave me again," Reyna demanded.

  They slowly pulled away and Zara stared at her.

  "Look, I'm not letting you go back on the street. I'll die before I let that happen again. You're staying here, don't worry about Vance."

  "But he hates me."

  "Well he's gonna have to deal with it, because you’re not going anywhere."

  She sighed, shaking her head. "I can't, Rey. You saw the way he acted in there? He wanted to damn near kill me. I can't stay."

  "Look, I'll talk to Vance. And if he gives you a hard time again, he's out. Okay? But you're not going anywhere. And that's that."

  *

  "You're really leaving, bruh?" Rodney asked.

  "Damn right, there's no way I'm staying here with that bitch," Vance spewed, stuffing his clothes into his suitcase.

  Just seeing Zara again, for the first time in 5 years, triggered a rush of emotions he didn't expect to feel in so long. For years, he harbored such rage for what happened to his sister, and to finally stand face to face with the person who was responsible for her death, it took his all not to snap. He hated her with every piece of his soul. It was because of her, he would never get to see his sister's beautiful face, he would never see her graduate, or walk down the aisle. She was gone forever. And it was all Zara's fault.

  For the sake of his sanity, he had to leave.

  "Look, man you don't have to do all that. I understand the situation, trust me, I do, but you don't gotta deal with it like this."

  "Like what? I'm doing her ass a favor! If I stay here, I'm gonna end up killing that bitch, and I mean that."

  "Aye, I know we boys, and I get why you feel that way, but at the end of the day, she's still like my little sister. She’s family. So watch how you-"

  "Family? What about my family?" He roared.

  Rodney grew quiet.

  “My sister was my family, and she took her from me," his words painfully left his throat. He clenched his jaw, fighting the emotions from breaking him and shook his head. "So don't talk to me about family, 'cause I don't wanna hear it."

  Hot with fury, Vance packed as fast as he could. He had to get out of here as soon as possible before he lost it.

  "Look, I know you’re still hurting over losing Trish. But leaving's not gonna solve the problem. If anything, it's only gonna make it worse-"

  “What if it was you?” Vance glared at him.

  Rodney didn't respond.

  “You telling me you would stay in the same house with the person who killed ya sister?”

  “No, I wouldn’t,” he replied lowly.

  “Exactly.” Vance continued packing.

  “But, I wouldn’t run either.”

  Vance stopped.

  "Listen, we've ‘been boys for over 10 years. You’re my brother, I love you. But I hate to see what this whole thing’s done to you. You're letting this shit eat you alive. At some point you gotta try to move on. At least, for your sake. And running away ain't gonna make it any better, trust me. There's other ways to deal with it. If you need someone to talk to, you know I'm here. You family, I always got ya back. But don't leave, alright, not this way."

  Vance let out a sigh. He was right. At the end of the day, Rodney was his family. They had been through it all. If it weren't for Rodney taking him in, he wouldn't have had a place to stay, and would be paying out of his pockets just to rent out a hotel for the time being. Rodney had always had his back. And as much as he didn't want to admit it, he needed him at this point.

  Vance sat there for a while, contemplating. Everything in him was urging him to leave. But he reminded himself that the stay was only temporary. Soon enough he would be on his own again and out of Zara's hair.

  Vance nodded, giving him daps. "My bad, man."

  "Don't even worry about it. Whateva you need, you know I'm here."

  "Thanks, bruh."

  Reyna rushed in the room and app
roached Vance. "How dare you disrespect my sister like that?!?"

  "Rey, baby, calm down." Rodney held her back and she roughly pushed him away.

  "Let me tell you something. If you ever do that shit again, your ass is out. You hear me?"

  "Babe, I already talked to him-"

  "Do you hear me?!?" She glared at Vance.

  Vance understood Reyna's outrage. That was her sister and she was just defending her like any person would. He respected it.

  "Yeah, I'm sorry about that," he said lowly with a nod.

  Huffing out a deep breath, Reyna stepped back. "Zara get in here!"

  After a moment, Zara appeared at the doorway. His anger rose at her presence and he fought to restrain himself. Their eyes met and she blinked away.

  "Look, I know there's a lot of issues between you two. But at the end of the day, we're all staying under the same roof. So whatever problems you both have, ya'll could take that shit outside. Because I'm not having it in my house. At all." She glared at both of them. "Ya'll got that?"

  They nodded without a word.

  "Alright, good," she said finally.

  Chapter 3

  "Ugh! I need to get out of these damn heels," Zara limped in pain, as she walked out of the club. Sweating within the humid night air, she raked her fingers through her micro braids.

  "Girl, me too. My feet are killing me right now." her friend, Trish complained.

  After dancing all night, Zara could barely hold herself up to walk, not to mention the various shots of liquor she guzzled down earlier that had her body feeling as loose as a wet noodle. But she couldn't complain though. She had the time of her life tonight. She celebrated her 21st birthday, partying the night away at the hottest club in New York City with her best friend, just like she said she would, and nothing could've been better.

  "Where the fuck is my car at though? All these niggas out here, I can't see shit." Zara searched around the now crowded parking lot, searching for her black Toyota that was nowhere to be found. Her insides now wavering with nausea, she placed her hand on her stomach in discomfort, already hating herself for drinking so much tonight.