Ashes

by Taisha S. Ryan

  Vance huffed out a tired sigh. He had so much to do in so little time. With the new season approaching soon, many events would need to be organized, and he had to make sure everything ran according to plan. From the fund raising aspects, to the budgeting, the coordination, and much more.

  The ringing of his phone tore him away from his thoughts and he grew frustrated. All morning he had been disrupted with non-stop calls, or people pulling him in all sorts of directions. He just needed one moment to focus.

  He answered the phone without bothering to look at the caller ID.

  "Hello," he said dryly.

  "Happy birthday hun!"

  He softened at the sound of his mother's voice. He suddenly felt bad for dreading the call.

  "Thanks, Ma."

  "Well, you don't sound too happy. Everything alright?"

  "Yeah, I'm good. Just busy working."

  "Yeah, I figured you were. I didn't want to disturb you, but I had to call and wish my baby a happy birthday."

  He smiled a bit. "Thanks, Ma. I appreciate it."

  "Do you have any birthday plans?"

  "Nah, not really. I might hang out with the guys tonight if I feel up to it. But we'll see."

  The truth was, he had no plans to do anything tonight. Birthdays were never as special to him as they were for others. It was always just a regular day for him.

  "Well, I hope you do, hun. I know how hard you work, you should go out and try to have some fun."

  "I'll try."

  "Alright, I'll let you get back to work. I'll talk to you later, I love you."

  "Love you too," he said, before hanging up.

  Vance leaned back in his seat, gazing sadly at Trish's picture rested on his desk. He thought back to the days of her pounding him with birthday punches each year of his birthday. 'Happy Birthday big head' she would always say to him, with that bright smile of hers. He missed that.

  Another call interrupted his thoughts and he answered the office phone.

  "Hello?"

  "Mr. Anderson, Ms. Gomez is here to see you," the receptionist, Jessica said through the phone.

  He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright, send her up."

  He hung up the phone with a sigh. He really wasn't in the mood to see Laurie right now. He had a lot of work to get done and she would only be a distraction.

  When he heard a knock, he got up and walked to the door. He opened it, and there stood Laurie holding a set of balloons with a beaming smile.

  "Happy birthday!"

  He gave a faint smile. "Thank you."

  They hugged and shared a sweet kiss. He let her in and closed the door.

  "I know you're busy but I wanted to come by and surprise you." She placed the balloons at the corner of the room.

  "Thanks, I appreciate it."

  He scoped her frame, admiring how sexy she looked in that outfit. The yellow satin button up top accentuated the curvature of her breasts, as the pencil skirt hugged around her waist gave notice to the keen shape of her hips, thighs and round ass. He licked his lips. He wasn't sure if it was the outfit, but these days, she seemed to be looking thicker in just the right places. He liked it.

  "So, how's the birthday boy?" She approached him.

  "Good." He licked his lips.

  "That’s good to hear," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. They kissed, their tongues tangling in a passionate embrace. Moans left their lips, as they tugged at each other's clothes. His insides aroused with lust. Gripping her ass, he guided her to his desk and placed her on top of it.

  She broke the kiss. "Baby, wait."

  "What?" He said breathlessly.

  She stood on her feet, with a wide smile. "I have a surprise for you."

  "You do?"

  "Mhmm. And I think you're gonna like it."

  He licked his lips, suddenly more interested.

  "Oh really?"

  "Yup. A whole lot," she whispered, rubbing his chest.

  He grew more excited, ready for her to do some kinky shit like the freak she was.

  "What is it?"

  "I'm pregnant."

  Her words struck him like a hammer to the gut. His throat went dry. She was...what?

  "What?"

  "I'm pregnant."

  He swallowed the air in his throat, forcing himself to process what he just heard.

  "W-what do you mean you're pregnant?"

  "I just visited the doctor yesterday. I'm 4 and a half weeks."

  He stared at her, wondering if she were playing some kind of sick joke.

  "Well...say something." Her smile faded a bit.

  She had just thrown him into a raging storm without any warning. What the fuck was he supposed to say?

  He pulled away, staring at her skeptically. "I thought you were on the pill."

  "Well, I was. But I just got off it recently. I didn't think there was any need for it."

  He frowned. "What do you mean you didn't think there was any need for it?"

  "Because...I just got to thinking, you know I'm getting older and I see everyone else getting married and having babies and I want that. I want that for us-"

  "So, you trapped me." Anger dripped from his tone.

  "No, I didn't trap you. We haven't used protection in years, Vance. We both knew there would be a possibility of this happening. And plus, we've talked about this before, you said you always wanted to have a child someday."

  "Yeah, but that still don't give you the right to-"

  A knock on the door interrupted him. He huffed out a breath.

  "What?" he barked out.

  "Hey, it's uh Zara. Is it okay if I come in for a sec?"

  "Zara?" Laurie whispered with a frown.

  He clenched his jaw. "Yeah, come in."

  The door opened and Zara peaked inside. She paused, her eyes shifting from Laurie to Vance.

  She cleared her throat. "Uh, sorry I don't mean to interrupt but can you come down to the studio really quick? I think there's a leak in the ceiling. I was hoping you could check it out."

  He nodded. "I'll be there in a minute."

  "Okay, thanks." She shut the door.

  Laurie folded her arms. "She works here?"

  "Yeah," Vance leaned against his desk running his hand over his face.

  "Since when?"

  "That doesn't matter right now-"

  "What do you mean it doesn't matter? It does matter. Please don't tell me you were stupid enough to give that trashy bitch a job here."

  His anger heightened. "You know what, Laurie? Get out."

  Her head jerked. "Excuse me?"

  "You heard what I said."

  "You're really kicking me out? Are you serious?"

  He stood up and headed to the door. He didn't have the energy for her right now. If he really voiced the thoughts spiraling in his head, he would later regret it. He just needed to get away from her as soon as possible, for his and her sake.

  She stared at him, hurt.

  "Fine." She grabbed her purse and stormed out of his office.

  *

  Zara's heart raced as she anticipated Vance's arrival. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face once he stepped inside the studio. When he appeared down the hallway, her breath got caught in her throat. His broad shoulders hunched with each smooth stride he made. Dressed in a black and white plaid button up, with dark denim pants and shoes, he exuded sex appeal at its finest. She noticed the deep frown embedded on his face as he neared closer and her nervousness heightened. It was obvious he was already in a bad mood. She realized it a minute ago when she overheard him bellowing through his office door. Although, she didn't stay long enough to eavesdrop, she knew he and his prissy bitch had gotten into a heated argument. Good. She hoped whatever it was, that he was done with her ass.

  Even in his angered state, he looked so damn tantalizing. From the creases deepened between his brows, the intensity in his dark brown eyes, the bulging of his jaw, the flaring of his nose, he moved like a furious
lion in the wilderness, ready to pounce on its prey. And in that moment, she wished she was the prey. She could just imagine him fucking her with that same anger during some hot passionate, rough sex. Spanking her ass, pulling her hair, demanding her to scream his name as he fucked her senseless.

  Zara quickly snapped out of her thoughts.

  "Get it together, Zara damn," she mumbled in frustration. Could she have one moment where she wasn't drooling over him like some sex crazed woman? She needed to focus.

  He finally approached her. "You said there was a leak?"

  "Yeah, I was hoping you could check it out."

  He move passed her and opened the door.

  "Surpriiiise!!!!!!!!!!" The students cheered at his arrival.

  He froze. "What the..?"

  He stood there like a deer caught in headlights then turned to her. "This was your idea?"

  "It was all of ours. The kids wanted to do something special for your birthday, so I thought we should surprise you." She smiled.

  "Wow, this is... I'm shocked."

  The students surrounded him, welcoming him with birthday wishes, hi-fives and hugs. The angered scowl that had once etched his features had vanished in a flash, as a warm smile brightened his face. The sight made Zara smile. The plan had worked. Just seeing him so happy truly warmed her heart.

  Zara lifted up the cake from the table and made her way towards Vance. His eyes widened.

  "Wow."

  She held it for him as everyone sang ‘Happy Birthday', before remixing the song into a jazzier version.

  "Happy birthday to ya, happy birthday to ya, happy birthdayyyyy, happy birthday to ya!"

  Vance smirked, shaking his head. There was a glint in his eyes as they sang in celebration. If Zara didn't know any better, it almost looked like he was about to cry. When the noise finally died down, he let out a deep breath, as though overwhelmed by it all.

  "Damn, ya'll bout to have me tearing up right now," he joked, sparking laughter from everyone. "Nah, I really appreciate this. I didn't expect this at all. I wanna thank each and every one of you. You guys really made my day," he announced. When his gaze met hers, the warmth in his eyes sparked butterflies in her chest. She gave him a soft smile.

  Not before long, one of the students turned on the music. While some danced, Zara shared the cake. When Montell Jordan's song, This is How We Do It, played, everyone cheered in exuberance.

  "C'mon, Mr. V let me see what you got," Xavier, one of the students, said to Vance.

  "Nah, man. Ya'll don't wanna see nothing." He waved him off.

  The rest of them cheered him on, urging him to dance. Zara grinned when she noticed him blushing. It was the first time she had ever seen him do that.

  "C'mon, stop being so shy." She made her way to him and grabbed his hands. Her heart fluttered at the touch of his callous hands against her soft own. Their eyes met and her heart thumped in her chest, the sudden boldness she hadn't tapped into in a while washing over her. She tightened her hold and led him to the middle of the dance floor.

  She got close to him and began dancing. Snapping her fingers, she swayed her body to the rhythm, before breaking out into old school dance moves. Vance laughed, shaking his head.

  The kids surrounded them, cheering them on. "Go Mr. V! Go Zara!"

  He bobbed his head to the beat. She held his hands, prompting him to move. She wanted to see him let loose, just one good time. All of a sudden, he began to do the 'running man' dance. Zara burst out into laughter. She really didn't expect that.

  "Go Mr. V! Go Zara!"

  They continued to dance and the moment couldn't have brought her any more joy.

  When the party finished, the students left, and Vance and Zara remained in the studio, cleaning up the decorations. She was completely worn out from today’s festivity, but the turn out of it all left her in high spirits. It was a pleasure to see Vance so happy. She saw a different side of him. The warm silly side hidden under the hardened exterior that only those who really knew him caught a glimpse of. And she had longed for that moment.

  When they finished cleaning, they sat on the table, taking a much needed break.

  "Still can't believe ya'll did this for me." Vance shook his head as he stared at the card the students had given to him earlier on, filled with every single one of their signatures, including Zara's. "Ya'll cheered me up more than you realized."

  "Well, I'm happy to hear that." Zara smiled, taking a bite of her slice of cake. Feeling his stare, she slowly met his gaze and he looked down at the card.

  "It was so funny seeing you doing the 'running man.'" She grinned.

  He hissed his teeth. "Aye, we just gonna pretend that never happened."

  "Nope, that moment is forever in my memory. I'm never gonna let you live this down."

  "Yeah, yeah, you got jokes."

  They laughed. After a while, silence filled the room as they delved in their own thoughts. For the first time, there was a warm comfortable air between them. There was no fighting, no arguing, no hostility, no tension, just...ease. In that moment, they felt like two close friends enjoying each other's company. Even though Zara knew this feeling would be short lived, she basked in it.

  "It's really great what you're doing," she spoke up and he looked at her. "You know, with the programs here and everything. It's commendable."

  "If it ain't me, it'll be somebody else doing the same thing," he said modestly.

  "Yeah, but you actually give a damn about these kids. You inspire them to wanna be something. You give them hope. Not many people can say the same."

  He blushed, staring down at his hands. "They all remind me of myself growing up. Not really having anybody there. They all got potential, all it takes is that one person to believe in them."

  It touched her to hear him say such a thing. She always knew Vance had a good heart. She thought back to the time Trish told her about him bearing the beatings of his abusive father, just to protect her and their mother growing up. The type of stories she heard was heartbreaking. Zara knew things about him that she swore to keep to herself, but it only gave her an insight to the type of person Vance was.

  "They're really lucky to have you in their lives," she said softly.

  His gaze lingered on her. With a nervous smile, she toyed with her cake, fighting to lessen the pounding of her heart against her chest that she was sure was audible within the silent room.

  Huffing out a sigh, he rubbed the side of his face and looked away.

  "So, what are you gonna do for your birthday?" she asked, after a while.

  "Nothing." He shrugged.

  "Nothing?"

  He shook his head. "Never cared too much about birthdays. To me it's just another day."

  "Yeah, I get what you mean. I'm the same way," she said lowly.

  "When's your birthday?"

  "March 23rd."

  His head spun to her. His shocked eyes didn't surprise her. That was the same day Trish died.

  "That day, um...that day brings back a lot of painful memories. So, that's why I don't celebrate it." She swallowed the tightness in her throat.

  Vance stared at her without a word. She couldn't even face his gaze. She was too ashamed to. The air suddenly felt too constricting, and it all became too much being in his presence. She braced herself for another one of his insults, or raging tirades he usually engulfed into whenever the topic of Trish was brought up. This time she prepared for it.

  Vance turned away and stood up.

  "I should get back to work," he said in a stiff tone.

  His demeanor had gotten cold. He was shutting her out again. And she hated it. He walked toward the door.

  "Vance?" she mustered up.

  He stopped in his tracks.

  "Would you ever be able to forgive me for what happened?"

  His body tensed and she regretted even asking. With his back turned, he didn't face her. And she was almost glad he didn't. She was afraid of what she would see.

  "If you
were in my place, would you?"

  She grew silent. She honestly didn't have an answer for that.

  Without another word, Vance left the room, pulling her deeper into her pool of guilt.

  Chapter 14

  "So, I was thinking something more of this color," Reyna said, showcasing the lavender hued dress from off the rack.

  "Oooh, that's a cute color," Layla spoke up.

  "Yes to the color, but hell no to the dress," Toya said, bluntly.

  "Why? What's wrong with the dress?" Reyna frowned.

  "Eh, I'm not feeling the sequins thing going on in the middle."

  "Yeah, I agree. Reminds me of a prom dress," Imani added.

  “Zara, what do you think?" Reyna asked.

  Zara gazed at the dress then shook her head. "Not feeling it."

  "Why am I even asking ya'll? Ya'll bitches gonna be wearing whatever I choose anyway." Reyna placed the dress on the rack and roamed the store.

  Zara let out deep sigh and plopped herself on a chair nearby. She never thought preparing for a wedding could be so tedious. For the whole afternoon, Zara and Reyna's friends roamed countless boutiques throughout Manhattan, searching for the perfect bridesmaid dress for the wedding. Reyna had already ordered her wedding dress custom made specifically by her favorite designer, Davinci. She had also decided the venue for the reception as well, a function hall at the Marriott, catered to every single one of her 100 guests. She wanted an intimate yet lavish wedding. And Reyna being the helpless romantic at heart, she was going to make sure this wedding was everything she dreamed of.

  Feeling for a smoke, Zara stepped out of the boutique. She enjoyed helping her sister plan for her wedding. But damn. She needed a break. The sun embraced her presence, bathing her in its beaming rays. Leaning against the wall, she smoked her cigarette, gazing out at the heavy traffic within the busy city.

  Her phone vibrated and she looked at the screen to see Vance's name flashing. Her heart fluttered, and she hated herself for reacting that way.

  "Hello?" she answered.

  "Why aren't you at work?"

  She paused, taken aback by his gruff tone.

  "Uh, I called out..." She thought he knew that.

  "So, you couldn't tell me that?"