The men laughed, giving him daps as the women continued to argue.
Zara couldn't help but grin. As much as she didn't want to admit it, he did have a point there. She wouldn't mind having sex with two fine ass men like Denzel and Tyrese at the same time. She kept her thoughts to herself though.
"Oh, and here's another thing about women that ya'll don't wanna admit to," Travis spoke.
"Ah, here we go." Toya rolled her eyes.
"Women cheat more than men."
Zara froze.
His comment causing a ruckus, the women began voicing their opinions all at once. A tightness forming at the pit of her stomach, Zara kept quiet.
"Alright, you know what? That's enough. We're not about to get into this right now." Reyna shook her head.
"Why not? Aye, Rod am I right?" He extended his hand to Rodney.
Rodney reached out to slap his hand, but stopped when Reyna shot him a glare.
"Nah, I don't know what you're talking about." He scratched his head with a shrug.
"Ahh, c'mon man. Where ya balls at?" Travis joked.
"So, is it true?" Sean whispered in her ear.
Zara looked up. "Is what true?"
"That women cheat more than men."
Her breath caught in her throat. She wondered if he was joking or not, but the smirk on his lips told her that he was. However, it wasn't enough to soothe the uneasiness in her chest. She forced a smile.
"Of course not. You men got that covered."
He laughed, before focusing his attention back to the conversation. Letting out a deep breath, Zara took a large gulp of her drink.
God, she needed some fucking liquor.
"Aye! Look who it is, Mr. Vance Boogie!" Travis called out.
Zara's heart jumped at the sound of that name. She turned her head and nearly choked on her drink at the sight of Vance walking toward them with none other than his girlfriend Laurie beside him. Her mood shifted to bitter jealousy and it was hard to fight it. She couldn't help but notice the pronounced bulge in her stomach through the maternity peach dress that clad her thick frame. Zara stared, unable to look away. This was the first time she was seeing her in months since their little encounter at the night club, and to see her now noticeably pregnant, she was taken aback, although she shouldn't have been.
Zara's eyes drifted to Vance, only to meet his piercing stare. His face deepened into a scowl, as he glanced at Sean then at her. Her heart fumbling in her chest, she blinked away. Vance diverted his attention to everyone else, greeting them. Helplessly, Zara surveyed his appearance, hating how damn good he looked in his black leather jacket, grey cardigan sweater, crisp denim jeans and sneakers.
When Laurie noticed Zara, her beaming smile faded. She cut her eyes up and down at her like she was nothing but scum beneath her feet, before turning away, her curly tresses nearly whipping Zara in the face.
Zara gritted her teeth, composing herself.
Bitch.
Vance turned to Sean. The muscle in his jaw bulged as he sized him up like an opponent in the boxing ring. Zara stood there nervously, wondering what he was going to do.
"Sup," he said stiffly with a head nod.
"Aye, what's up, man?" Sean extended his hand with a smile.
Zara rolled her eyes, wishing Sean wasn't so friendly sometimes. She almost wished he had some type of mean bone in his body, so he could give Vance the dismissive response he deserved.
Vance stood there for a moment, seemingly taken aback by his friendly gesture. He then nodded and shook hands with him.
Afterward, Vance turned away, not once acknowledging Zara's presence. If this were before, she would've felt hurt by that, but she was glad he didn't say a word to her. Because right now, the feeling was mutual.
"Aye, Vance I'm gonna need you to back me up on this bruh, 'cause right now the fellas are too scared to do it," Travis voiced. "Don't women cheat more than men?"
Vance paused.
The air suddenly thickened. Zara's heart pounded in the cages of her chest as she dreaded his next answer.
"I ain't gonna answer that."
Zara let out a sigh of relief. Thank God.
"Ah, you too? Damn!" Travis shook his head.
Thankfully, the topic died down and the men veered off into their own conversations as the women did the same. Zara and Sean stood apart from the group, the only ones not engaged in the conversations. The whole time, Zara couldn't help but watch as Reyna and her friends awed at Laurie's stomach, as she galled over her pregnancy. There was such a glow on her face as she rubbed her stomach like a proud mom to be. And the sight couldn’t have been any more painful.
Zara looked away and turned to Sean. "Can we go somewhere and sit down?"
"Why? You okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanna rest my feet."
She couldn't be here anymore. She needed to get away or she was going to lose it.
He agreed and they left the kitchen. They entered the midst of the party, and Sean took a seat on the couch, guiding her unto his lap. As they sat together, Zara traced her finger along the brim of her cup. Despite the music and laughter, she couldn't find it within herself to enjoy any of it. All she kept thinking about was Vance and his girlfriend.
She was actually having his baby.
For months now, Zara had been in denial. She convinced herself that Vance cared about her enough to spend most of his time with her instead. That she at least meant something to him. But for him to bring Laurie here, only struck her with the clear message that despite whatever fling they had, Laurie, the mother of his child, meant more to him than she ever could. She should've known that. But she disregarded it all, just to be with Vance however way she could. Even if it meant sharing pieces of him. And now, the cold reality struck her so deeply to the core, the pain was unbearable.
A finger grazed her chin and she snapped out of her thoughts.
"What's wrong?" Sean asked, concerned.
"Nothing." Zara shook her head.
"You sure?" He lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Seems like something's bothering you."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she forced a smile with a quick nod.
"I'm fine." She rubbed his jawline and kissed his lips. Their kiss deepened as their tongues caressed. He rubbed her thigh, a groan fleeing from his lips. Zara hoped that Vance was watching her. She hoped he was somewhere eating his heart out, wishing he could get a taste of her. He thought bringing that bitch would get under her skin. Well, he was wrong. He could kiss her big brown ass. Fuck him.
Zara finally pulled away and Sean looked at her, shocked.
"Wow...that was...wow."
She smiled at his reaction.
"Uh, you sure you okay?" He placed a hand on her forehead and she laughed.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get something to drink. You want anything?"
"No, I'm alright babe. Thanks."
"Okay." She whispered, placing another kiss on his lips.
She then got up and walked away with a heaving breath. She couldn't do this anymore. She needed some liquor.
Zara made her way to the dining table and nearly salivated at the bottles of liquor. She had been yearning for a taste all night. She told herself she was going to stay away. But this was torture. She needed something...anything to get her through the night.
Zara looked around, making sure no one was watching then picked up the bottle of Hennessy.
One little sip couldn't hurt.
She poured some into a cup.
"So, you’re back to drinking again?"
Zara jumped, nearly spilling the liquid unto the table. She spun around and her heart fleeted at Vance's presence. She placed the bottle down and stepped away.
"I-it's not for me. It’s for someone else," she felt the need to explain.
"Really..." He stared at her like a hawk. The sudden shame washed over her and she now felt exposed under his drilling stare. Hating
the way he was making her feel, she quickly grew defensive.
"Yes, really. It's for my boyfriend," she emphasized.
"Right," He said, reaching for a cup of his own. "Sure it is..."
She gritted her teeth. "Look, why don't you just mind your fucking business and stay out of mine?"
"I just came over here to get something to drink, and I see you grabbing a bottle. Can't say I'm surprised though." He shrugged.
His tone was so condescending and she couldn't stand it. She hated the way he judged her.
"Fuck you." She turned away.
"Fuck me? You sure ya man would like that?"
She paused and faced him. "You know what Vance? I'm sick of your shit. You always have something to say. Why don't you just leave me alone and go back to your pregnant bitch?"
His eyebrows rose as though he were offended, but by the blazed smile tugging his lips, she knew he was anything but. And it only angered her even more. Arrogant piece of shit.
"Wow...tell me how you really feel." He sat at edge of the table and put the cup to his lips.
Despite her riling anger, she couldn't stop her eyes from lingering on his adams apple as it heaved each time he swallowed. She remembered the many times, she ran her tongue on that very same spot, savoring the salted taste of his sweat as she rode him in pleasure.
She quickly blinked away, realizing what she was doing.
"You make me sick. You're nothing but an arrogant piece of shit," she spat, stepping to him. "I don't know why I ever allowed myself to-"
"Vance, hunny!"
Laurie approached them and Zara bit her tongue, stepping back.
"What's taking you so long? I was beginning to miss you already." She slid her arms around his torso, darting a glare at Zara like an animal marking its territory.
"Sorry about that, got distracted." He wrapped his arm around her, meeting Zara's icy glare.
"Here you go," he said sweetly and handed Laurie the cup. They began to kiss and Zara turned to leave. The sight made her sick.
"Aye, Zara."
She looked at him.
He held a cup in the air. "You forgot your drink."
She gritted her teeth, and stormed away.
*
"Three."
"Two."
"One."
"Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!"
The room erupted with cheers, as everyone tooted their horns, rejoicing. Rodney popped the cork off the Champagne, roaring in exuberance.
Zara watched as everyone celebrated the New Year with a saddened smile. Everyone looked so happy. She should've been rejoicing with them. Just this moment last year, she was on the streets, strung out on drugs. But now she was sober, she was working, had reconnected with her sister, and had a wonderful man in her life that loved and cherished her. She truly was blessed. She should've been proud.
But yet, she couldn't get rid of the deep sadness lingering within her.
Her gaze slowly drifted to Vance, who stood across the room watching everyone with a small smile. There was a sadness in his eyes as he stood away from the crowd, and she wondered why he looked that way. After a moment, he met her gaze and his smile faded. The lump in his throat heaved, as his dark eyes held hers in its grip. In that moment, the music, the laugher, everything around them faded into the background. In that moment, they were the only ones that existed. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to reach out to him and kiss him, wishing they could be. But she knew deep down that would never happened. No matter how much she wanted it to.
Her heart rippling with pain, Zara broke her gaze, fighting back tears.
"Happy New Year, baby!" Sean embraced her. Before she could respond, he leaned her backwards, and planted a kiss on her lips.
"Happy New Year." She smiled, as she stood on her feet.
"I love you," he told her.
"I love you too."
"Do you?" He stared at her.
She suddenly grew nervous. He never questioned her love for him before.
"Yes, I love you," she said with certainty.
"Well, that's good. Because, I wanna make this night the beginning of the rest of our lives together." He knelt down on one knee.
Her heart racing, she gave him a hesitant look. He wasn't about to do what she thought he was about to do...
"Zara..." He grasped her hand.
Gasps emitted from the crowd, as the attention shifted to them.
"Baby, before I met you I didn't think it was possible to find love again. You've shown me that with faith in God that all things will fall into place. There's no one on this earth that means more to me than you do. You are my queen...my everything. I can't imagine my life without you. So, for the New Year, I want this to be the next chapter of our lives together. So, Zara..." He pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket and opened it. Zara gasped at the diamond ring.
"Will you marry me?"
‘Awws’ filled the room.
In shock, Zara stood there speechless. Her throat went dry, as her breath escaped her lungs. She blinked, trying to snap out of the trance she had fallen into. He was...he was actually proposing to her?
Everyone peered at them, anticipated her answer. Through the crowd, she felt a pair of eyes burning her skin like a scorching flame. She met Vance's stare. A scowl etched his features, his dark eyes clouded with an emotion she couldn't read. But just the look in his eyes was enough to send her insides spiraling with different emotions.
Zara averted her gaze to Sean, and a tightness formed in her throat. She wanted to tell him no. She couldn't marry him. She didn't love him the way he loved her. But the hopeful look in his eyes clenched her heart with guilt. He had been hurt enough. She couldn't be the one to do that to him again.
"Y-yes...yes, I'll marry you," she whispered.
The room erupted with cheers as everyone applauded. Sean placed the ring on her finger and embraced her, blessing her with kisses.
*
Zara slammed her door shut, silencing the noise. Overwhelmed with emotions, she slid to the floor and curled herself into a ball, releasing her tears. What had she done? How did she allow herself to get this deep? She looked at the shimmering diamond on her finger, then shut her eyes in sheer guilt. She felt like the worst person in the world.
A knock on the door tore her from her thoughts. She didn't bother to answer. She didn't want to be around anybody right now. She had even left Sean, giving him the excuse that she needed to use the bathroom, when really she just did so to escape. She needed to be alone. She couldn't deal with all the hugs, the smiles, the pictures, everyone congratulating her. It was too much.
She needed time to herself to just...breathe.
The knock on the door continued, and she huffed.
"Go away!"
"Zara."
She paused, recognizing that baritone anywhere.
"It's me, Vance. Can I come in?" he asked calmly.
"No, leave me alone!"
He was the last person she wanted to see right now.
"Look, I need to talk to you."
Gritting her teeth, she wiped her eyes and stood up.
She opened the door. "Didn't you hear what I just said? Leave!"
Just the sight of him made her want to vomit. She wanted to yell at him, to curse him out in rage, to pummel his face till every bone in his face cracked.
"Please, I didn't come here to fight...I just wanna talk to you."
"No, I don't wanna hear shit you have to say." She gripped the doorknob, urging to slam it in his face.
"Za." He stepped closer. "Just hear me out, please..."
There was such desperation in his voice she had never heard before. She gave him a wary stare, wondering what bullshit he had to say to her.
With reluctance, she stepped aside, allowing him in. He entered her room and she closed the door.
"What do you want, Vance?"
Huffing out a sigh, he rubbed the back of his head. "What are you doing?"
"Wh
at?"
"Why are you marrying this dude?"
She frowned. "Are you serious? That's what you came in here to ask me?"
"Yeah what are you, crazy?"
She scoffed, shaking her head. "You know what? Get the fuck out. I'm not in the mood right now." She turned to the door.
Before she could open it, he rushed to the door, blocking her.
"Why, Zara?"
"Move out of my way, Vance."
"Not until you answer my question. Why are you marrying him?"
"Move!"
"Would you just stop running away for once and answer the damn question?!?"
"What do you mean, why am I marrying him? Because I love him, that's why."
"Enough to marry him?" He frowned.
"Yes."
The lump in his throat rose and fell. He then lowered his head, the muscle in his jaw bulging restlessly. He seemed to be really bothered by this for some reason, and she didn't understand why.
"What's the problem, Vance? Is it because you don't wanna see me happy? Is that it?"
"What?" He looked at her, confused.
"It irks you, doesn't it? You'll rather me live in misery for the rest of my life, because of what happened to Trish, but I'm sorry I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna move on with my life and be happy, whether you like it or not.”
"You think I don't wanna see you happy?" He frowned.
"No. Because me being happy, means I'm finally moving on with my life and I'm no longer stuck in the same misery as you, dwelling on the past."
"Are you honestly happy?"
She paused. His voice held such an inquisitive tone as though he truly wanted to know the truth. His somber eyes drilled her so intrusively, she felt as if her soul was laid bare for him to see, exposing her true inner most secretive thoughts. She looked away.
"Yeah, I am," she whispered. Holding back her tears, she looked down at her ring. "I mean I think I am...I should be."
He touched her face and she took a step back, glaring at him.
"Get out."
She didn't want him touching her. She hated him.
He stepped closer.
"I said, leave!"
He kept walking toward her. She took another step back. When he approached her, she punched his chest in heated rage. Despite her dire attempts to push him away, he grasped her arm and slowly pulled her toward him, embracing her. Weakening from his touch, she melted in his arms. The warmth from his embrace was enough to soothe the firing anger like a water to a flame and she no longer could muster up the strength to push him away. She missed him holding her like this. She missed every part of him. She buried her head in his firm chest, releasing her pent up tears.
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