"I'm sorry..." he whispered.
God, she wanted to hate him.
She wanted to hate him so much.
"I missed you," he kissed her forehead.
He slowly pulled back, wiping away her tears.
"All this time, I wanted to hate you. I wanted to make you feel the pain I felt when Trish died. But the more I tried to do that, the more I found myself falling for you. And as much as I know this shit is wrong, I can't help how I feel about you."
Zara was shocked. He had feelings for her? Overwhelmed, she didn't know what to say. She had longed for this moment, but now...she didn't know how to take it. The timing was all wrong. Why was he telling her this now? Why, when she was engaged to be married? Why did he always have to make things so difficult for her?
"Vance..." She shook her head. "I don't...I don't know what to say. I can't-"
"I know, it's the wrong time to be sayin' all this. It was just something I had to get off my chest."
He turned to leave. She watched painfully as he made his way toward the door. On impulse, she rushed after him and kissed him. He kissed her back, and she melted, longing to feel the touch of his soft lips. She welcomed his silky tongue, breathing out a soft moan. His fingers pressed against her lower waist, he guided her backwards and planted her against the door. They kissed passionately, groping each other. Vance ripped off his shirt, as she unbuckled his belt. She slid her hand down his boxers and caressed his hard muscle, moistening at its thickness. Her womanhood aching with yearning, she wanted nothing more than to feel him inside of her, pleasuring her body in ways only he was able to do. With a breathless groan, he unzipped her jumpsuit, before tearing off her undergarments until she was fully naked. He placed kisses all over her neck, before trailing to her breasts and sucking them softly. She hissed out a moan. He lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he eased himself inside of her. A rugged groan slipped from his lips, as her moist haven snugged him.
"Shittt," she hissed under her breath. He held her thighs firmly, as he thrusted in a steady pace. She gasped.
"Damn, I missed this, girl..."
"Vanceee..."
Her skin burned as her back rubbed against the door, but the stinging pain held no candle to the pleasure that washed her with each stroke. Clawing his back, she bellowed out tearful moans, begging him to keep pleasing her.
"That nigga don't hit this pussy like I do, huh?"
She gasped. "Oh my god..."
"Answer me, Za."
"No..." She moaned. "Mmm, he doesn't...."
"Then why you gonna go marry him, huh?" He deepened his stroke and she cursed out another moan. "What about what we have, that don't mean shit to you?"
He pressed his lips on hers, and they kissed hungrily.
A knock on the door startled them and they broke their kiss.
They stared at each other, their breaths treading the heavy silence.
"Zara?"
Vance frowned at the female voice.
"Laurie?" he whispered.
Her heart dropped.
"What?" Her eyes widened.
She knocked again.
"Zara? Are you in there?"
"Shit." Vance stepped back.
"The hell does she want?" Zara questioned, confused.
"I don't know, shit." Vance scratched the back of his head, pacing around.
"Fuck..." Zara bit her nail, thinking. "Alright, go in the closet."
"What?"
"Go in the closet, go," she hurried.
He grabbed his clothes and rushed into the closet.
The knocking continued.
"Uh, just a second!" She quickly put on her clothes. When she was done, she hurried to the door and let out a deep breath. She told herself to relax.
She opened the door and flashed a smile at Laurie.
"Yes?"
"Hey, I don't mean to bother you. Uh, I just wanna know if you've happen to see Vance around by any chance."
"Vance? Uh, nope...haven't seen him."
Laurie stared at her for a moment.
"Really, that's strange. Because I can't seem to find him anywhere. I've been trying to call his phone, but I can't get a hold of him."
"I have no idea, sorry." Zara began to close the door, but Laurie stopped her.
"Hmm, well that's funny. Because, if I'm not mistaken, that seems to be his sweater on your floor."
Zara turned her head, only to notice Vance's sweater on the floor. Her heart fell out of her chest.
She turned around to meet Laurie's heated glare. Before she could respond, Laurie barged in her room.
"Vance!"
"Uh, excuse me you need to leave," Zara snapped.
Uttering Spanish words under her breath, Laurie paced around the room.
"Vance, where the fuck are you? I know you're in here." She bent down and checked under the bed.
"I already said Vance ain't here. So, you could get the hell out."
Laurie stood up and huffed out a breath. Her eyes darted to the closet and she stormed to it.
Zara panicked.
Laurie opened it and gasped at the sight of Vance.
"You piece of shit!" She swung punches at him.
"Laurie! Laurie calm down!" He blocked his face as she hit him in rage.
She suddenly stopped and darted a heated glare at Zara.
"You fucking bitch!" She charged at her and mauled her to the floor.
Laurie pummeled her face in rage, and pain struck her face with each hit. Zara swung back, trying to hit her. But Laurie's fists struck with speed. Such fury. Pounding her quicker before she could strike back.
Vance pulled Laurie off of her. "Laurie stop! You're pregnant."
"Quiere joder a mi hombre? ¡Te Voy a matar puta! (You want to fuck my man? I’m going to kill you whore!)” Laurie spewed, fighting to break free.
Zara struggled to stand up, wiping the blood marring her face.
"Laurie stop, alright! Calm down," Vance continued to hold her.
"Get your fuckin' hands off me! Don't you fucking touch me."
Heated with rage, Zara charged at her. "Bitch!"
Zara lunged at her, striking her with punches.
"Aye yo, chill!" Vance tried to stop them.
Zara didn't stop. She swung with all her might, fire fuming in her blood. She didn't give a fuck if this bitch was pregnant or not. She wanted to beat her ass for putting her hands on her. They rumbled to the floor and Zara pounced on top of her, punching her.
"Both of you, stop!" Vance pulled Zara off.
"Don't ever put ya fuckin' hands on me, bitch!" Zara fought to escape his hold, urging to beat her up some more. Just the sight of her face bloodied with bruises, brought her pleasure. She deserved every bit of it.
As Laurie struggled to stand up, Vance rushed to help her but she pushed him away.
"Don't touch me!"
"I'm just tryna see if you’re alright."
"Fuck you!"
"Laurie-"
“¡Voy a matar esta puta. Juro a Dios! (I’m going to kill this bitch, I swear to god!)" Laurie attempted to charge at her, but Vance held her back. Zara clenched her fists, ready to swing if she decided to run up on her again. This time she was ready.
"Get the hell off me, Vance!"
"No, not until you calm down. You're pregnant alright, I don't want you harming the baby."
"Oh, now you care about the baby? You weren't thinking about that when you were busy fucking this bitch behind my back! Go to hell you piece of shit."
She continued to scramble from his hold, bellowing out profane threats to both him and Zara.
"Baby, I'm sorry." Vance apologized.
She finally stopped fighting, breaking down into tears. "I hate you..."
"I swear, I didn't mean to hurt you," he said softly, kissing her shoulder. "I love you so much."
Zara's heart shattered. He loved her. What did he mean he loved her? What about her? Did she not matter? Her chest ached with a
deep pain she couldn't fight, as she watched him coax her like a baby being soothed in its parent’s arms. Just moments ago, he had soothed her the same way. Had her believing his words, falling for his charm, eating up his lies, only for her to realize it had all been a part of his game. In that moment, she realized how much of a manipulator Vance really was. It had all been a lie. She felt used.
"Vance, let me go," Laurie said calmly.
"Baby-"
"I said let me go," she demanded.
When he slowly released his grip, she spun around and slapped his face. Vance clenched his jaw without a word.
"I can't believe you." She shook her head with disgust. "All this time you had me believing you were faithful. When you were busy sleeping with this bitch? Her, out of all people? Your sister's rolling in her damn grave."
"Aye, watch your mouth," he gritted with an angered tone.
"I gave you my all. I loved you with everything I had, and this is how you treat me," her voice filled with hurt. "After all these years, after everything we've been through..."
"Baby listen," Vance reached for her.
"Get the hell away from me!" Laurie stepped back, shaking her head. "I hate you. You make me sick. You want that bitch, you can have her. We’re done." Laurie turned away and stormed out the room. Vance called after her, running out the room.
Zara collapsed to the floor in tears. She fucked up. She truly fucked up.
She couldn't believe she was stupid for taking it there with Vance. All for what? For him to go chasing after that bitch? How did she allow herself to fall this deep for a man that truly didn't give a damn about her? It was clear who he really loved.
God, she felt so stupid.
Her tears streamed beyond her control, and Zara wiped her face to stop them. When she caught sight of the diamond ring on her finger, Sean suddenly crossed her mind.
"Shit!" Zara got up and hurried downstairs.
She rushed through the crowd, searching around for Sean. She noticed Vance chasing after an angered Laurie as she stormed away. When he grasped her arm, she spun around and slapped him, grasping people's attention. Rodney, Reyna, and their friends rushed to them.
In panic, Zara searched desperately for Sean. She had to hurry up and find him. She had to get him out of here. Soon. Before-
Zara froze, when she caught sight of Laurie heading to Sean's direction. Zara hurried to him.
Laurie approached Sean. "You need to check ya bitch. I found her upstairs fucking my man!"
Gasps filled the room.
Zara wanted to die in that very moment.
In shock, Sean spun to Zara and her face burned with shame.
The music had cut off. The room now silent, with nothing but whispers and chatters permeating from the crowd.
"Is it...is it true?" Sean slowly approached her. Zara tensed up, unsure if he was going to hit her or strangle her. He moved toward her like a lion on the prowl, his eyes piercing her own.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
He stood there, speechless. The pained expression on his face twisted her heart with a pain so excruciating, she could hardly breathe.
Clenching his jaw, Sean turned away and left.
"Sean wait!" Zara chased after him.
She rushed out the house, only to be struck by the cold winds smacking her in the face. She hurried after him, sloshing her heels through the mushy snow, her vision blurring with tears.
"Sean, please wait! Sean!"
He kept walking.
She quickened her pace. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"
He stopped and spun around, causing her to stumble into his sturdy frame.
"You didn't mean to what? To sleep with him?" He roared.
"It was a mistake." She shook her head.
"A mistake?!? How dare you even-" He got in her face and Zara recoiled with fear. She had never seen Sean so angry before. His veins bulged in his forehead, his face was beat read, as rage fired his reddened eyes as though he were minutes away from beating her to death in that very second. As though catching himself, Sean huffed out a deep breath and stepped back.
"No, the only mistake was being with you."
Zara's shame deepened.
He scoffed. "And he warned me too. He told me you were nothing but a shameless whore. And he was right. I should've listened. But instead, I decided to look past all of that and love you, despite everything. But I'm glad I know now. So, I wouldn't make the mistake of spending the rest of my life with a dirty slut who screws every man she sees."
Her heart shuddered from his cold words. Hurt, Zara looked down, too ashamed to face him. She deserved that.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
He stared at her in disgust. "You're like so many broken women. Insecure. Selfish. You'll rather destroy everything good in your life, because you're too afraid of what will come out of it, if you don't. You wouldn't know a good thing even if it smacked you in the face. And you know what? I pity you. Because, in the end you'll only end up alone with nothing but regret because you pushed away all the good people in your life due to your selfish ways. You're a poor excuse for a woman, and I'm sorry I ever met you." He had cut her down with every hurtful word he spewed, and all Zara could do was cry.
"Give me the ring back," he said coldly. "You don't deserve it."
Zara slowly removed the ring from her finger and placed it in his palm.
Sliding the ring in his pocket, Sean turned away and walked to his car. Zara watched painfully as Sean drove off, before disappearing into the cold night.
Chapter 37
"Damn man, did a tornado fly in here or something?"
Vance ignored Rodney's comment and entered the living room, the area that had been his safe haven these past few weeks. He knew his house looked a mess. Crushed beer cans, cigarette butts, empty bags of chips and other half-eaten garbage cluttered his living room floor. Normally the disorderly mess would've driven him insane, but with all the drama spiraling in his life, the disorder of his home was tolerable.
"And bruh, you look...horrible. I didn't think it was this bad," Rodney voiced, concerned.
Vance took a seat on his couch, rubbing his scruffy beard with a sigh. He did look horrible. His hair had grown into a scruffy afro, stubble of hair covered his face from not having shaven in weeks. He didn't even bother to change the old wife beater and sweatpants that clad his frame from days ago, due to the apathetic mood of his sloppy appearance.
These past weeks had been hard on him. After the scenario that had occurred at the New Year’s party, he had been wallowing in isolation. He spent his days, laying on the couch, smoking and drinking beer, anything to numb the pain. He had yet to hear from Laurie since that night. She hadn't answered any of his calls, and had even changed the locks on her apartment door. She wanted nothing to do with him. And how could he blame her? He broke her heart in ways unimaginable, and it pained him to know he caused her so much hurt. He wanted to apologize and make things right, not only for them, but for the baby. Despite what issues they were going through, his child's wellbeing was most important. After time of reflection, he understood that now. He just wished he hadn't been so selfish. He messed up a good thing, all because of his selfish ways.
Then there was Zara.
Damn.
He still couldn't get her out of his mind. He hadn't spoken to her or seen her in weeks. She had even quit her job at the center, claiming she couldn't work due to conflict of interests. That angered him. Not only because she was giving up the opportunity he laid for her, but because she abandoned the kids, high and dry. It was selfish of her. At the same time, he couldn't fault her for it. It was hard working with her 5 times a week, wanting to hold her, touch her, and be with her, knowing that could never happen. Her leaving, was probably for the best, he just couldn't fight the sense of loss without her presence. He missed her. Even as pathetic as it was.
"Got damn!" Rodney covered his nose in disgust. "W
hen was the last time you took a shower man? You smell like you 'been bathing in pigeon shit."
Vance hissed his teeth. "So, you just came over to clown me all night?"
"Nah, I ain't clownin', I'm telling the truth. You look homeless, dawg. I hate seeing you like this. This shit isn't healthy,” Rodney said, concerned.
"I'm alright." Vance grabbed a pack of New Ports from the coffee table.
Rodney shook his head, and took a seat across from him. "You don't look it. I'm worried about you, man."
Vance ran his fingers through his tangled hair, with a deep sigh. "I fucked up. I haven't talked to Laurie since that night. She won't answer my calls, she won't text me back, she even changed the locks on her doors. She cut me off, period.”
"You just gotta give her time. She's hurt."
"Nah, I think she's done for good. I don't even know what to do at this point. I'm losing it right now." Vance took a deep pull of his cigarette, rubbing his aching temple.
"I told you to stay away from Zara, bruh."
"I know, I tried. I tried to stay away from her, but..."
"You fell victim to the pussy, I know." Rodney nodded.
"Not only that, I..."
"You what?"
"I think I might've fallen in..." He couldn't even utter the word.
"In what? Love?" Rodney leaned forward, frowning.
Vance fell silent.
"Ah, damn!" Rodney stood up, shaking his head.
Vance felt pathetic. He wanted to deny it, but there was no other explanation for why he was acting and feeling the way he was. It was about more than sex with Zara. If it had been only about the sex, he would've been able to cut her off easier like he had done with plenty other women in his past. But he spent his days thinking about her and missing her terribly. He had gotten caught up.
"See, I warned you. I knew this was gonna happen. When you kissed her a while back, I knew you was already far gone."
Ashes Page 22
