Luminescence Trilogy: Complete Collection

by J. L. Weil

  But as long as the darkness was poisoning my soul, I couldn’t risk his wellbeing. I would never in a thousand years forgive myself if I hurt him. And my instincts told me that I wasn’t out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot.

  Finding a bit of resilience, I pushed at his chest, breaking off our kiss. “I can’t,” I muttered, my breathing uneven.

  His eyes were iridescent in the twilight as he glanced down into my face. “What’s wrong?” he asked in a raspy voice.

  How did I tell him what was happening to me, when I didn’t know? “I can’t be with you like this,” I said, fumbling with the sheets. The words got stuck in my throat. Bringing up Lukas’s name while we were in bed signaled all kinds of red flags, but I owed him honesty. “Not while the darkness of his magic is swirling around in my blood. It is trying to mess with my head. I won’t let it. I refuse to let it touch you.”

  He pushed the hair away from my face. “What can I do?” There was a glint at frustration that even now Lukas had found a way to get between us, but the softness of his fingers told me that he wasn’t upset with me.

  “Just hold me,” I said, suddenly feeling my blood turn to ice.

  Pressing a tender kiss to my lips, he tucked me at his side, securing his arms around me. “You’re worried,” he said.

  I played with the ends of his hair, loving the silky texture between my fingers. I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed it. Gavin’s eyes were closed, and like a giant cat, he stretched out beside me. I swear he practically purred—a rumbling in the back of his throat.

  Hell, yes, I was worried. How could I not be? So much was still at stake for me. I didn’t want to ruin the ending to what had started as a horrific night. He had been able to override the memory of what was worst night of my life with something extraordinary, and then I go and ruin it. I squeezed him hard. “I am.”

  “It’s going to be okay.”

  I wanted to believe him, to trust in his confidence. Sometimes it felt as if he knew me better than I knew myself. Snuggling up against him, it would have taken an army of witches to pry me away from him.

  He settled in, his leg brushing mine. I flattened my hand over his chest, entranced by the electric current still flowing between us. Settling in for what was sure to be a long and restless night, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Sleep overtook me within seconds. No dreams. There was no one left to invade them. No Lukas. No Morgana.

  Chapter 25

  I woke up with eye boogers at the corner of my eyes, and Gavin’s arm draped over me. It was a nice place to be. The air in his room smelled of sea and pine. Soft whips of wind pattered through the opened balcony door. I felt invigorated.

  Unfortunately that wasn’t the only thing I felt. Along with the rejuvenation of a dreamless night (which was bittersweet) there was a heavy shadow that grew inside me. Trapped, it clawed and spread like fog over my magic, overtaking the good, bit by bit.

  It was the realization that today I was going to have to face the consequences of my actions…and the awkward morning after.

  Err. I’d never woken up at a boy’s house before. How was I supposed to react? Play it cool. Be natural.

  If only I knew how to play it cool.

  Carefully, I slid out from under his arm and turned on my side. I wasn’t ready to leave his bed just yet. It had become a sanctuary, a place free of the demons I didn’t want to face. A place where if only for a little while I was able to pretend that everything was fine and we were just a boy and girl hopelessly in love.

  Lying on my hands, I studied the sharp planes of his cheekbones, the curve of his lip, and how the silver hoop at the center caught the morning light. It might have been silly, but having Gavin hold me had kept my fears at bay.

  He had a boyish peacefulness to his face that wasn’t there when he was awake. I smiled to myself. A stray curl hung over his forehead. Unable to resist the urge, I brush the straggler aside.

  Then I caught the scent of coffee. It enticed me in a pull I couldn’t ignore. Tiptoeing like a lame ninja from his room, I followed the bitter roasting smell. One whiff had awakened my caffeine addiction like a wild beast.

  “Oh, boy,” Sophie said when she got a glimpse of me. “Rough night?”

  I walked straight to the brewing pot with nothing but coffee on the brain. There were a few mugs lined up on the counter next to it. Mrs. Mason thought of everything. Before I could think about uttering anything coherent, I needed my caffeine fix. Pouring a generous cup, I plopped down onto a stool beside her, and it wasn’t until after my first sip that I mumbled, “You could say that.”

  “You’re one of those girls,” Sophie said, smiling and nodded to the cup clutched in my hand as if I was afraid someone was going to snatch it.

  With half-lidded eyes, I noticed that she had already showered and was wearing one of her hippy-type dresses in jewel tones. I hate her. When I wake up, I look like a zombie munched on my hair. Sophie looked like she had just spent the entire day at the spa. “And you’re one of those girls,” I shot back, blowing the steam from my mug.

  She laughed, and it was a pleasant sound to hear in the morning. “I might know a spell or two. I could teach you.”

  “Will it eliminate me having to stick a bristle brush near my eye? If so, when do we start?”

  Her smile bloomed. “I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. I kind of like the idea, as long as it is you.”

  “Umm. Thanks…I think.” If we were going to get into the emotional-heavy-stuff, then I was going to need another cup of coffee, and a piece of that French toast that was staring me in the face.

  “There is something different about you this morning,” Sophie commented.

  But before I could reply, Gavin sauntered in with a massive grin on his face and took the seat next to me. “We didn’t get much sleep.”

  My skin tingled, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Even in black sweats and a T-shirt, he made my heart somersault. I tried not to let the implication of his tone embarrass me.

  I failed.

  Sophie plucked a strawberry from her plate and tossed it at his head. “Gross. That’s not what I meant, you bonehead.”

  There was no avoiding it. I flushed the same color as the bowl of strawberries on the counter.

  Sophie made an icky face. “If you start dishing all the gory details about your sexual prowess, I might lose my breakfast.” She slid us both a plate and passed down a heaping piling of French toast.

  Gavin mouthed, sexual prowess?

  I shrugged, forking a piece on my plate. Gavin snatched what was left on the serving plate, and I lifted my brows. He had almost an entire loaf of bread in front of him.

  He winked. “I worked up an appetite.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Sophie gagged. “I’m going to be sick.”

  I could get used to this. There was such a sense of a family between Gavin and Sophie; even when they were bickering, they were a tight-knit unit. Before finding out that I was a witch, when I thought about my future, I imagined having a family like his. Big. Lively. Trustworthy. It was hard to see that dream move further from my reach, because more than ever, I wanted that with him. And that meant I had to save myself first.

  Smothering the golden pieces of toast in melted butter and Aunt Jemima syrup, I took another bite. “What did you mean, something is different about me?” I asked Sophie, swallowing a whopping bite of goodness. Then I got momentarily distracted. Food had the that effect on me. I don’t know what they did to their French toast, but it was heavenly.

  Ah, the little things in life.

  Sophie stabbed a strawberry and met my gaze. “You don’t have a soul anymore.”

  My mouth hit the floor.

  Gavin’s fork stopped midair, dripping syrup on his plate.

  The waves quieted. The wind stopped whistling. And the world went silent. “Come again?” I said densely.

  “Sophie,” he growled. “Couldn’t you have at least
waited until after I ate?”

  I gave him a little jab in the side.

  Her eyes were wide with fear, but it wasn’t directed at me. It was fear for me. “I can’t see your aura. All of your usual colors are gone. There’s nothing but blackness surrounding you.”

  “Nothing?” Gavin repeated, his hunger forgotten.

  Sophie squinted, focusing on my outline. It made me want to squirm in my seat. “There might be just a fraction of murkiness, but it won’t be long until it’s wiped out completely. Whatever you did…it’s bad.”

  Gavin gave Sophie a shortened version of yesterday’s events, while I made hearts in my remaining syrup with my fork. Everything about yesterday seemed chaotic and surreal. The evil, it was all through me. It was in my blood. I checked out of the conversation, having no inclination to relive it. Sophie had been right about one thing…I was in deep shit.

  I felt a wave of injustice and anger rise up in me. Darkness roared in pleasure, fanning the flames of my rage in its desire for chaos. The other part of me that recognized the threat fought. A sharp pain shot through my skull, and I winced, my hand flying to my temple.

  “Bri, are you alright?” Gavin asked.

  The pain had passed, leaving behind a dull ache. They both looked at me with worry in their eyes, watching me carefully. I cleared my throat. “I’m okay now.”

  His face tightened, because none of us believed that. I was miles from fine.

  Chapter 26

  I looked out the window, staring at the spot where my not-so-friendly encounter with Lukas had gone down. My eyes narrowed and focused on the tree line. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever see him again.

  I’d already lost so much.

  Lukas.

  Morgana.

  My soul.

  How much more could I possible lose?

  Everything. The answer frightened me. If anything happened to my aunt, my friends, or Gavin, let’s just say that losing my shit didn’t even come close to how I would react.

  A dull ache spread in my chest, becoming a physical pain. I rubbed my hand over the spot.

  “Are you ready for school?” Aunt Clara asked from the doorway of my bedroom.

  I turned around, feeling not quite like myself. Sure I was wearing my “comfy” clothes, my favorite lip-gloss, and a spritz of perfume, but none of those things changed how I felt on the inside. “Only five weeks left.”

  She groaned. “Don’t remind me. It is hard picturing this room without you in it every night. Who is going to make the coffee in the morning?”

  Oh no. Not again.

  Lately, she had been having little emotional breakdowns whenever she brought up college. I had bigger problems on my mind. Not to mention, I hadn’t had the heart to tell her that I was thinking of deferring for a year. With everything going on, and all that has happened to me the last year, I just needed some time to uncover the answers I needed. My future was nothing if I couldn’t save my soul. Nada. Zilch. Doomed. I figured, in the meantime, I could help out at the shop more while I did the whole self-discovery thing, then I could dedicate myself to a higher education.

  Plus, I hadn’t even applied to a single school.

  I sucked.

  “I’m going to be late,” I replied, dodging the question. I snatched my book bag from the corner and brushed past her before the tears started. It was way too early for tears.

  When I got to school, it was hardly better. Austin and Tori were all over me like white on rice. There must be something in the air today, and it didn’t help that I was feeling the height of bitchiness.

  Thank you, Lukas, and your freaking magic.

  It was impossible to not think about my shadowy soul, so much so that I couldn’t concentrate in my classes. I was on the verge of an emotional explosion. My time was running short, and the prospect of losing my soul was racking on nerves.

  Shuffling toward my locker to ditch my books before going to the cafeteria, I was bookended by the dynamic due—Tori and Austin. We hadn’t spent much time together since they found out the truth about me. My fault, not theirs.

  Austin eyed me through his wire-rimmed glasses. “So what is the dealio on our little witch?”

  I elbowed him in the side, and hissed, “Can we not talk about this here?”

  “What crawled up your butt and died?” Tori grumbled. She had such elegance for words.

  I wanted to pinch her. We had reached my locker, and I started to fumble with the combination. “You wouldn’t believe me.”

  She leaned on the locker next to mine, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders. “Please. At this point, if you told me that aliens were real, I’d believe you.”

  “Are they?” Austin asked, standing beside Tori.

  I shoved my massive trig textbook into my locker, relieved at losing the extra five pounds. “What, aliens? How do I know?”

  They both stared at me, expectantly.

  Rolling my eyes, I slammed the door to my locker shut. “No, aliens aren’t real…I don’t think.”

  “So tell us the dilemma. We can help, you know? Just cause we don’t have magical mojo doesn’t mean we are helpless,” Tori said in a can-do-attitude.

  At least she didn’t hate my guts and wasn’t afraid of me anymore. There was that. “It’s my problem. Not yours.” I did not want the two of them mixed up in this. They already knew too much.

  “So what, did someone try to kill you again?” Austin asked, hitting the nail on the head.

  I glanced around just to make sure no one was listening. “Lukas,” I whispered, rubbing my hands over my arms. A chill went through when I said his name.

  Tori’s eyes got saucer-size big.

  “Are you saying that Lukas tried to—” Austin finished the sentence with the slit-your-throat hand gesture.

  I sunk against the lockers. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

  Of course they didn’t listen. I never should have said anything.

  Austin’s light green eyes lit up. “Oh, no, he didn’t.”

  “He wouldn’t!” Outraged marked Tori’s expression.

  “He did,” I said, unenthusiastically.

  Tori grabbed my arm. “You have to tell us everything.”

  Today was not the day to manhandle me. In my defense, I didn’t know that I was doing anything until it was too late. I just reacted. A surge of energy bolted through me.

  “Ouch!” Tori squealed. “You zapped me.”

  “Don’t touch me,” I said, the panic I’d felt suddenly gone. Regrettably, the words came out harsher than I intended. I rubbed the side of my head, feeling a stab of pain radiate across my temple.

  Austin started on a rant roll. “Girl, you are trippin’ today? Someone flip your bitch switch? Was it Rianne? Because if that skank is spreading rumors with her lizard lips again—”

  “No,” I snapped. “It’s no one. I just—” I shut my trap not wanting to involve them. They would only worry and the pain was intensifying. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m not feeling myself.”

  “Someone forgot to take their meds,” Tori mumbled under her breath.

  I shot her the stink eye. I needed to leave before I did any permanent damage to our friendship. Nothing would ever be normal again, not with this darkness chopping away at my soul. “I’ll see you guys later. I need to find Gavin.” Pronto.

  As I walked away, I felt their eyes at my back as they wondered what was going on with their wacky friend.

  I didn’t blame them.

  “Gavin!” I called, spotting him just outside the cafeteria.

  He turned around at the sound of my voice. The smile that had started to curl his lips, fell. “What’s wrong?” he asked, when I stopped in front of him.

  I rubbed the back of my neck. “I just fried my best friend with magic.”

  “Which one? Because Tori might benefit from a good shock.”

  “This isn’t funny. It’s getting harder and harder to not lash out.” With each word my tone got
louder.

  His eyes sobered. “Come on.” He took my hand and led me to the south exit. With strides much longer than mine, I practically had to run to keep up. Pushing through the double doors, we exited to the back of the building.

  I took a huge gulp of air, letting it smooth the burning in my lungs. This part of the school was usually where the burnouts loitered, smoking or worse.

  Gavin scowled at a small group huddled against the bricks. “Scram.” The way he said the single word left no room for argument. They dropped their little white sticks to the ground and scattered. The moment we were alone, Gavin crushed their still-lit cigarettes with his boot.

  “Charming,” I said dryly.

  He arched a brow, the silver stud glinting. “I could say the same for your little outburst in the hall. You just need to hang on for a little longer.”

  “Does that mean you are close to figuring out how to stop it?”

  “Not exactly.”

  His words sunk in slowly. “It’s hopeless.”

  He flashed in front of me. “This is exactly what you can’t do. Give up. The dark inside will take advantage of any weakness it senses. You can’t afford to let it gain even an inch.”

  I forced a casual shrug. “Oh, is that all,” I fired back, a buzzing in my ear. I was being a bitch, and I knew, but I couldn’t help it.

  “I know this isn’t easy, but I refuse to lose you.”

  “You might not have a choice.”

  He boxed me in, placing a hand on either side of the brick wall. “Your pity party isn’t helping.”

  Sparks radiated at my fingers. “Don’t push me.” My voice had a technetronic quality to it. Freaky.

  He wasn’t intimidated. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Bri. I’m trying to get you to be reasonable—to fight back.”

  My eyes narrowed. “All you’re doing is pissing me off.” I was pumped with magic.

  “Good. Then at least you aren’t feeling sorry for yourself. That fire will keep the dark from spreading.”