Starving the Monkeys: Fight Back Smarter

by Tom Baugh

  DirectTV offers a special deal for a year or so, but to get the special deal you have to go through hoops online and via email to apply for the rebate. If at any point you get hung up, or forget in the first place, or at any point along this journey, you don't get the discount which convinced you to sign up in the first place. I'm sure they aren't the only ones who do this.

  I love Apple's commercials where they just point out the stuff that people think Microsoft does. They are hilarious. And then I read about what Apple did with Kramer's iPod ideas, and how they "liberated" Xerox's user interface ideas for the first Macintosh.

  As I understand the history, these ideas would later be liberated by Microsoft to create Windows when Gates' disk operating system (DOS) had almost run dry by then. Contrary to popular belief, I don't think Gates wrote the first DOS. So where did it come from, this software which made an industry giant? In accordance with the classical pattern, Gates merely purchased it from Seattle Computer Products, whose owner lacked Mommy's business contacts at IBM.

  Gates' actual contribution to the art? As far as I have been able to find, all he did from a technical perspective was to copy a flavor of the then wellknown BASIC programming language to an early version of a personal computer. BASIC is a language which, although disdained by experts in the field then and now, was hailed as a way to make programming available to the masses. Underlying many of the Microsoft family of products, this easy programming language did open doors to many. But some of those doors flow into your computer by making Microsoft applications customizable by anyone who knows how to use BASIC. And through those BASIC doors pass most of the viruses and hacks and worms which infect computers worldwide today and destroy your credit as identity thieves steal your credibility. His reward for manipulating contacts and markets, but, in my opinion, demonstrating poor judgement for his actual innovations? The richest man in the world, while the actual inventors from decades past are hardly known.

  Elsewhere, and more recently, some chick took over Hewlett Packard to great acclaim about shattering the glass ceiling, and damn near destroyed them by cheapening everything they make. In the space of about three years HP printers went from the quality must-have item to as useless as any other crap on the shelf. And then she gets lauded as some kind of financial wizard. And sought by Presidential candidates for her unique economic perspective, and considered a shoe-in for VP.

  GM offered financing through GMAC to get rich on the interest. When that scheme started tanking they changed GMAC to a bank so that you and I have to pay for their little trap not working right.

  You can't just buy something, anything, and then the next year get replacement parts for it, because the models have changed. Or different retailers are given different model numbers for similar products, just to force you to go back to the original store.

  I recently bought a thermostat which said clearly on the packaging that it was compatible with heat pumps. But inside the package, the manual said that it was not designed for heat pumps. Some percentage of people will be too busy to take it back. Under these circumstances the thermostat really doesn't even have to work, does it?

  McDonnell Douglas hired me as a Naval Academy grad and a Marine combat veteran, not to use my experience to help them design better warfighting products, as I had naively imagined. Instead, apparently, my role was to rub the stink of credibility onto, as I described them to their management, their weak and worse than useless product concepts.

  All throughout the defense and other government contractor and financial industries there are great people sprinkled around trying to get things done. Of these few, most of them just haven't gotten fed up yet. The few who are fed up would normally leave to start their own businesses. Fortunately for the collective, this is a bad time to try going out on your own. So, the collective can keep milking these folks for a while, getting just enough done to keep getting more contracts to keep all those hordes employed. And we're about to add even more industries, such as green, to that pile.

  And outside of those industries, the rest of the service industry feels like they don't have to compete with any upstarts either, so their good ones stay trapped, too. So what is the only rational response? Stop trying. Just collect your check like all the monkeys who surround you until you can leave to do your own thing. But they know this is hard for you, so they count on you to try anyway. That is what you do. And so, you continue to feed them, day after day.

  Somewhere some suit monkeys drift off to nappy time, or take a sip, or reach for a lighter, or dip into the bubbles, and think up all this crap. Not, "how can we provide value?". But instead, "how can we think up some gotcha which hopefully no one will notice, but if they do we don't get spanked too hard, and enough won't notice so it works out as a net profit?" This isn't new, either:

  Video Assignment

  Flash of Genius In this feel-good movie intended to keep you from giving up hope, knowing you have none, the hero eventually prevails over the auto industry, which ripped off his idea for the intermittent windshield wiper. Today, they would just simply have the parts made in China and then point that-a-way while shrugging. You get the point. It's called an Effective Business Model. And no one can compete with them because the entry cost is too high. And the good ones feel trapped because there is too much risk to leave right now.

  Throughout all of this nonsense which you face each day, you aren't supposed to listen to your subconscious mind. All of those feelings which are telling you that so many things are wrong are to be suppressed, or else you aren't a nice person. Your subconscious screams at you each day to wake up, but you, instead, put it to sleep.

  "Don't get angry, you are being unreasonable."

  "Don't be afraid, that's just paranoid."

  And even, "Don't be happy about the good stuff which happens to you

  by your own merit." All of this programming is to suppress that wonderful subconscious mind God put inside you, and make you doubt what it tells you. If you won't assist them in this, then they diagnose and medicate you, or convict and incarcerate you. The goal of the monkey collective, the oh-so-nice, is to destroy your own ability to provide for yourself. Accordingly, crippled by the chain you place on your own mind, or the drugs you let them pump through your veins, you will be dependent and willing to live your life as a slave to provide for them.

  It's not limited to the business world, not by any stretch of the imagination. Soon after 9-11, the FBI sent some Egyptian snitch of theirs my way to ask me to get him a letter of appointment as my product representative in Egypt. I refused, and called the FBI just to keep them off my back later. They demanded that I give him the letter, but strangely, were unwilling to put this demand in writing. How about chasing the real bad guys, jackasses? Oh, I forgot, that might actually get you shot at.

  A bunch of guys in the boondocks of Pakistan ordered some remote control boards which could, oddly, really be nice for Improvised Explosive Devices (IEDs). I called the CIA to check on them. Similar story as for the Egyptian, which is "Go ahead and ship them, but don't ask us to put it in writing". While calling me a "great American." Choads.

  Some poor sucker in South Carolina got arrested in a flurry of news over shipping capacitors overseas. I'm guessing that great American didn't ask someone to put it in writing. And capacitors? Really? You can buy runof-the-mill capacitors in Radio Shack any day of the week. Or special order those special capacitors from just about anywhere. Or pluck them off the board inside a TV. Besides, who in the US makes capacitors anymore? Almost all of them are made in China. If I were a terrorist, I would just buy direct and cut out the middle man. More cash left over for Jihad.

  Speaking of Jihad, what Islamic suit-monkey thought that it would be a great idea to blow up his most motivated soldiers? It sounds like the military version of what the collective does to producers. Apparently monkey cleverness is multicultural. Japan tried that too, it didn't turn out too well. If those guys start thinking like individualists it would be something
to watch. Throw in some free trade motivation and they might start wondering which side is which. Reach your own conclusions.

  NSA wondered about some backdoors in Chinese phone equipment. They followed this with, "Would you be willing to make a trip to Shanghai?" Nothing official, of course. Hell no, and what the hell do you people get paid for?

  A weather balloon allegedly came down on my land a while back. It allegedly has a bag and a tag which allegedly says to ship it back to save NOAA some bucks. I'm so wary of twisty crap now that should this have actually happened there would have to be a gotcha. In that case I would wonder if it allegedly has an ounce of Columbian hid in it somewhere. Probably safer just to burn the damn thing and call it a day. Or chuck it into a dumpster.

  I actually felt sorry for Obama with his inauguration and the bobbling of the oath of office, which sounded a hell of a lot like a "tee hee hee" setup typical of the Bush clan.

  Or for Hillary and the reset button. That's what you hire monkeys for, isn't it, so you don't have to personally check every detail? Does anyone in the State Department speak Russian? Or know someone that does? I do. He told me about Google. And taught me how to say "ya oochoo Rooskie". That's about as far as it got before I found out he was using my intellectual property to win favor with his other clients.

  And when the monkeys' twisty manipulations, corporate or government, get exposed? Sue the messenger and try to silence them. Knowing that in court the messenger, likely to be an individualist, is more at risk from the jury of twelve collectivists chosen at random, than the offender. And the collectivists have ensured that the offenders have deeper pockets than the messenger. This in a country which lies about freedom of speech, merely to encourage you to expose yourself.

  Even, or perhaps especially, police get in on the action, too. I just heard of this particular variation recently. Cop pulls guy over, and positions subject facing the dashboard camera, cop between subject and camera. With hands hidden, ostensibly to read license, cop needlessly pokes guy with finger over and over until subject reacts. Cop's small motion invisible, any reasonable reaction by subject looks like, on camera, unprovoked assault on a police officer.

  This tactic suits the collective especially nicely. The collectivist sheep does nothing, but the individualist, especially the young male individualist, lacking experience, reacts subconsciously. And harmlessly. He may not even remember afterward being poked. But that's all it takes. Maybe the taser comes out. Maybe the subject dies from a weapon which, if it was in the hands of an individualist instead of an enforcer for the collective, would have already been sued out of existence.

  Only the actual hard case, like say, a real terrorist or other serial killer, would know better and just stand there impassively and will themselves into inaction. You might want to go ahead and train your subconscious mind accordingly. One day, when they've had enough of your uppityness, it may be you facing the camera.

  Each day, while you are feeding them, some monkey, who has the capacity for productive creativity, instead dreams up this crap. Including countless ways to use your own creativity and productivity to identify you, isolate you, use you, and, ultimately, destroy you. And they just won't stop.

  But, if you can develop this connection between your conscious and your subconscious mind for yourself, you will be better able to avoid or deflect the ways in which monkeys seek to use and destroy you.

  Armed with this skill, you will seem to the simple to be a psychic. But you aren't psychic, you are merely listening to the picture which your subconscious mind is forming from all the little bits of data that you are too busy to comprehend. Unable to understand this, the simple will fear you, and try to destroy you in their fear as they imagine you peering into their souls and finding them lacking.

  The foolish will see you as heartless, or as an oppressor to be kept at arm's length or fought. But, you will be none of these, you simply will be able to see the cliffs which they blindly rush toward. The clever and manipulative will see you as a threat, as you see through the veils of deceit they wave in front of you, and fear that you will reveal them to their prey.

  All of these make you into something to be feared and hated. This is the price of understanding your subconscious mind, and the power it can place in your hands.

  But your life will become your own to live. And that alone is well worth the price.

  Chapter 14, Organizational Value

  In past chapters we discussed value as increasing the quality of life for those with which you choose to trade. We've also seen how the creative process works. I've discussed ways in which you can increase the efficiency of your own creativity, and the attendant risks thereof. In this chapter I want to tie those concepts together, and in a meaningful way which is most relevant to a prospective entrepreneur.

  I start by discussing a concept I like to call organizational value, and first within the context of an existing enterprise. All people decide each day, like Og and Pok, to trade with others. Accordingly, as you sit in your cubicle you are making a decision to trade your time and energy and thoughts that day for whatever accrues to you as pay, or some fraction of benefits.

  All of the issues which arise in your day at work can either be resources provided to you for your use, or obstacles or additional costs placed in your path. In turn, you either provide stuff, push, time or ideas to others within your own organization. Or a monkey might provide obstacles for someone else by withholding these resources, or inefficiently consuming them.

  You then decide, from moment to moment, whether to participate in that system of trading. The fiction of employment leads people to believe that their status is somehow permanent, when it is anything but. The boss decides each day whether it is more worthwhile to replace you; most days the answer is, "no, it's not." Each day you decide whether it is more worthwhile to quit and find another job; most days the answer is also, "no, it's not." If your subconscious mind is feeling bad about going to work each day, it is probably trying to tell you, "yes, it is."

  Most enterprises today are so large that very few workers directly impact the customer. The outside salesman may meet the customer to discuss his needs. The inside salesman may take an order. Somewhere in the shipping department a box gets a label slapped onto it and an invoice is generated more or less automatically. Other than these few connections to the customer, almost all activity in any enterprise is purely internal. Just like cells work in unison to make a body function, so do all of these little traders swirl around in a soup of trades back and forth all day long. Hopefully, enough value slops over the edges to get customers to continue paying for this swirl.

  It is little surprise that most employees see themselves as somehow entitled to participate in this swirl, and so take actions each day consistent with that perception. It is hard to accept the truth of this point of view. Until the day that you start your own business and see all of this going on right in front of your face as your wallet gets lighter and lighter.

  Each individual in a large enterprise, absent collective nonsense, is individually responsible for how well that organization does. Each individual executes this responsibility by conscious decisions at each moment as to whether to provide value or consume it. In other words, whether to add quality of life (by adding +ΔQ), or decrease quality of life (by preventing +ΔQ, or adding -ΔQ) for someone else. These transactions usually are contained within that organization, but sometimes for customers outside of it. The sum total of all of these transactions determines how much residual +ΔQ remains to slop over the edge and splash onto customers. Technically, as I defined this previously, we are really talking about the push, stuff, time and ideas which get filtered through each individual's quality of life factors to result in net +ΔQ. But, ΔQ, positive or negative, is much more simple to express, and, in a culture in which individuals express similar values, this approximation is close enough. An example of how this breaks down is if you run across someone who genuinely enjoys being hit with a brick.

>   The collective nonsense, which we previously chose to ignore, is universally an internal source of ΔQ, as monkeys don't have to add value in order to consume +ΔQ. They get it by fiat. As such, via the monkeys, collective issues, like a giant sponge, can only consume +ΔQ, leaving less to slop onto customers. The fact that you create lots of jobs is absolutely irrelevant.

  Since as an entrepreneur you will be handling a wide swath of business activities yourself, let's see how these roles are achieved, ideally, in larger enterprises.

  The board of directors, or senior executives, exist to set direction for effort and to mandate allocation of resources. By so doing, their task is to recognize potential sources of +ΔQ. A related executive task is to prevent inefficient wastage of +ΔQ by placing resources where they are most needed to accomplish the organization's goals. Their job is better done to the extent to which they limit sources of ΔQ, but they do not, by their executive efforts, directly create any +ΔQ.

  So, who does create +ΔQ? High-value idea workers. The exact role of these people, and the ideas with which they trade, depends on the type of organization in question. Their ideas also depend on the focus which each of these persons place on the long-term benefit of the customer, consistent with the goals of the organization. I provide some examples from selected industries below.

  Retail Sales In a retail organization, the corporate buyers, those who find, qualify and order goods, use their ideas to determine what products will be useful to customers. These buyers are high-value idea workers. So are the sales people who meet customers, determine their needs and help decide which items are best suited for those needs.

  However, some buyers are looking for only those goods which are good enough to sell. These goods might break in the customers' hands weeks or months after purchase, necessitating constant maintenance or replacement. In this case, those buyers are idea workers, but not of high value. This sort of ethic would be characteristic of a retail company run by, and staffed with, monkeys.