The edge of life: Official cover - coming soon

by Rachael Tonks

  “You don’t want to stay?” I ask sullenly. My eyes sadden. “I’d rather not be left alone,” I say, sitting up and pulling on my jeans.

  He narrows his eyes at me. “You know you’re safe here, right? I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

  “It’s not that,” I say, shuffling myself until I’m sitting, cradling my knees with my arms. I rest my chin on my knees, nervous to look this intimidating man in the eyes.

  “What is it, Kailee? Talk to me,” he pleads, his hand resting on the top of my back.

  “Why don’t you want me?” I blurt out with more emotion than I’d hoped.

  He sighs loudly, shaking his head loosely from side to side. “You’re seventeen, Kailee.”

  “Yeah, so?” I ask, spitting back. “I wasn’t too young just then when you had me crying out for more. What’s the real reason, Jax? Do I not do it for you? Do I not turn you on?” I ask; my eyes bore into him, waiting for an answer. Preferably one that makes sense. My body shakes, my emotions getting the better of me.

  “Don’t say that. I want you. So fucking badly,” he says with a growl. “But we don’t need to rush this, baby. I will fuck you and fuck you good, but only when the time is right.”

  My heart pounds in response to his promise. “The time was right,” I say with a smirk. “I just don’t get it.”

  “You will. Just give it time,” he says, lifting his eyebrows. “I’m just going to sort some things with Ryder and Marco. I’ll be back up soon, okay?” He leans in and presses his full lips against mine before pulling back. I let my tongue dart out, resting it against my tingling lips. I nod, acknowledging him as he makes his way out of the room. He stops at the door, turning and shooting me one last smile. Watching him close the door behind him, I flop onto the bed, letting out a growl of frustration. How did I let myself get dragged into this? How did I let the attraction for him get the better of me? I reach for the lamp, dimming the light. I turn over, my mind buzzing full of all thoughts leading to Jax.

  Kailee

  I jump with fright as a soft hand lands on my arm, pulling me from my sleep.

  “What,” I ask, my head thrashing from side to side as I try to gather my bearings.

  “It’s just me,” I hear a soft voice. I blink hard, trying to focus on the owner of that voice.

  “What is it, Fran?” I ask, pushing myself up to a seating position.

  “It’s nearly noon, and I just wondered whether you wanted something to eat. The guys were getting worried about you. I said I’d check on you. Oh” —she pauses for a second, turning on the spot and grabbing a handful of clothes— “here’s some clean things,” she beams, holding out the small pile of clothes.

  “I’m fine,” I say with a yawn. “Give me a few minutes to get cleaned up, okay?”

  “Sure,” she says, dropping down onto the bed with the clothes in her lap. I look at her, wondering why she hasn’t left, but I don’t say anything. I whip back the sheets, turning and letting my feet fall to the floor. I stretch out, slowly standing. I turn to Fran, taking the clothes she has brought for me.

  “Thanks,” I say, making my way over to the en suite bathroom. I tie my hair on the top of my head and head into the shower. I quickly clean up, drying and dressing with the fresh clothes. I stand in the mirror, checking myself before heading downstairs. I couldn’t help but feel anxious about seeing Jax, wondering whether he returned to the room last night. Feeling exhausted, I fell right to sleep and don’t remember a thing. I give myself a nod of approval before racing out of the bathroom and back to Fran who is still sitting in the same position, waiting for me.

  “Ready,” I say a little breathlessly.

  “Great,” she says, smiling as she steps up from the bed.

  “So the guys… they’re all downstairs?”

  “They are,” she answers stiffly. “Tell me,” she says, her hand landing on my arm and pulling me to a gradual stop. She leans in, her head checking the space around us. “How do you know these guys,” she whispers, her voice so quiet I only half hear what she said.

  “I don’t really,” I answer honestly. “I’m staying with one of their neighbors.”

  “But you’re with Jax?” she says, narrowing her eyes at me.

  I laugh nervously. “Well, I wouldn’t say that.” I dismiss her assumption. “We had been out, just as friends, when we drove past Ryder getting into trouble. That’s how we kinda ended up here,” I try to explain. She clutches her hands together as she stands in front of me with a dreamy look on her face.

  “Oh, Ryder,” she says, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “That broody, hot muffin of a man,” she says, opening her eyes and laughing loudly. I join in, laughing at her lame facial expression.

  “Broody is right,” I say through my fit of laughter.

  “They are just soooooo good looking,” she says dramatically. “But don’t tell Marco I said that,” she says with a wink.

  “Well, I have to admit they are easy on the eye,” I acknowledge as she walks out of the room again. “But I kinda got the impression you’re with Marco.”

  “Only when he wants me,” she replies sharply.

  “What does that mean?” I ask in a hushed voice.

  “I’m an employee. Take that how you want,” she says with a lift of her brow, her face saddening.

  “Okay,” I say, speeding up and standing in front of her to make her stop. I place my hands on her shoulders. “You can’t just say something like that and not explain. Hell, I’m confused here.” I shoot her a half smile, but her features don’t lighten.

  “I’m paid to do what he wants me to do,” she whispers, checking over her shoulder nervously. “Get it now?” she asks, her eyes widening.

  “Got it,” I say my voice croaky. So she was paid to sleep with him and to be at his beck and call. At least, that’s what I think she’s suggesting. I step to the side as we continue making our way down the huge staircase and toward a room I haven’t been in. I can hear the voices clearer the closer we get to the dining room. Their voices and laughter echo through the huge room. Our footsteps against the wooden floor alert them to our presence, all heads turn in our direction as we walk through the door. Jax smiles, as does Marco. But Ryder, well, his face is as hard as stone, his eyes staring so fiercely I shudder under his gaze. It’s like he’s angry with me, but I have no clue why. My eyes flit between the three of them. I show them a weak smile, following Fran until we are beside them at the table.

  “Kailee, come sit,” says Jax, patting the free seat beside him. I willingly take it, sitting in the chair. He leans in, resting his hand on the top of my leg and sliding his other arm around the back of my chair. “You look stunning,” he whispers, leaning in so close I can feel his warm breath on my ear. My senses are on high alert, my eyes darting to the others at the table. My eyes land and focus on Ryder as his hard stare burns into me. I furrow my brow at him as I help myself to the spread of food set out on the huge wooden table. I hadn’t realized I was hungry until I laid my eyes on the mini feast in front of me.

  “Sleep well?” asks Marcos, breaking my attention away from Ryder.

  “Apparently so,” I say with a chuckle. “Fran just woke me.” I look at Fran standing beside Marco, her hands clutched together in front of her as if waiting for her next instruction. I study her body language. Her head is down, and her shoulders are slumped. I’m not sure what the hell is going on here, but I’m worried. I make a mental note to talk to Jax about it later.

  I snap my head back in Ryder’s direction, feeling his gaze on me once again. I make another mental note to ask that guy what the hell is wrong.

  “I’m so glad you slept well. We like only the best for our guests here,” Marco says, nudging a frail looking Fran.

  She looks up smiling. “Of course,” she says in agreement.

  “You’ll be pleased to know we have everything organized for your return home.”

  “We go back today?” I turn, asking Jax. His eyes wide
n, and he nods, still sipping on his cup of coffee.

  “Sure. Everything has been taken care off. There’s no reason we can’t go back.” He places the cup down, smiling at me until all his teeth are on show.

  “Oh, great,” I reply, glad to get away from this strange place and back to the shithole I now have to call home. “I have some schoolwork to catch up on,” I elaborate.

  We sit around eating our breakfast; whispers are exchanged between Fran and Marco, and occasionally between Marco and Jax. But one thing that remains the same is Ryder. His eyes are transfixed on me, and it’s starting to unnerve me. I can’t take it anymore. I push back on the chair, needing some space away from him and his damn stare.

  “You okay?” Jax asks as I stand.

  “I just need the restroom,” I placate, resting my hand on his broad shoulder. He nods in acknowledgment as I walk quickly out of the dining room. I make my way back from where we just came, slumping down on one of the steps out of sight. I rest my head in my shaky hands, my chest expanding and releasing as I try to take deep, steady breaths.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ryder’s voice growls at me, causing me to jump and let out a yelp. His hand covers my mouth in an attempt to silence me. I don’t hesitate; I bite down against the skin forced against my open mouth.

  “Shit,” he groans, whipping his hand away and shaking it violently. “What the fuck was that for?”

  “You had your hand over my mouth, asshole. What did you expect?”

  “Well, not that,” Ryder says with a quiet chuckle. He reaches down and grabs my hand. “Come with me,” he demands, pulling me to my feet.

  “What? No…” I try to resist, but he’s much too strong.

  “Come willingly, or I make you. That’s your fucking choice,” he barks impatiently.

  I laugh a little, the filthy part of my mind on overdrive. “Is that a promise,” I ask with a lift of my brow, suggestively.

  “What’s wrong? One brother not enough or you?” he spits back. His eyes darken, and I shudder as he glowers at me.

  I lift my lip in disgust. Neither his comment nor his opinion is wanted.

  “Come on,” he says, tugging on my hand with force. My feet move, following him closely as he climbs the steps. He pulls me, and my feet tangle as I try to keep up with him. I tumble, almost dropping to the floor. Ryder reacts, pulling on my hand to keep me on my feet.

  “Jesus, watch what you’re doing.”

  “I’m sorry,” I rush out, straightening my clothes in an attempt to pull myself together.

  “In here,” he whispers, pushing on the door just behind him. I walk into the room which appears to be another bedroom. The curtains are shut, and just a small amount of light is coming into the room. I close the door behind me and back myself up until I’m resting against it. My eyes focus on him as he steps back and forth, pacing the small room. He rubs his fingers across his forehead; his eyes fixed on the floor.

  “Well? What is it?”

  He stays silent, stopping on the spot, his hands resting on his head.

  “What is it?” I repeat. “Because right now, you’re starting to freak me out. I mean what was that whole staring at me thing about just now?”

  “I’m so fucking sorry you got caught up in this shit. I had no idea you were in the car. I didn’t need his fucking help.”

  “Looked like you needed his help to me.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about. No fucking clue, at all,” he yells at me, and his voice makes me quiver.

  “Why are you yelling at me?” I ask.

  “Because you shouldn’t have been there. Fuck, you shouldn’t even be here.”

  I have no idea what he’s talking about. My head is confused, and nothing about what he’s saying makes much sense at all.

  “It’s not safe.”

  “You know I didn’t ask to be here, right?”

  “You shouldn’t have been with that asshole I call my brother.” He slams his body in a small chair beside the bed, holding his head in his hands.

  “He’s not an asshole,” I say, immediately defending him. “And he’s your brother. Why would you say that?”

  “He’s blood, but that doesn’t mean he’s worthy of you.”

  My head falls back against the door, my mind stunned by his words. “What have I got to do with this?”

  He bounces up from his chair, charging toward me. He slams his hands against the door on either side of my head.

  “Everything! Dammit. This has everything to do with you.”

  My heart beats at a frantic rate, tears stinging at my eyes. He’s inches away from my face, and I’m absolutely terrified.

  “You need to stay away from him. He’s no good for you.” His face contorts, and his eyes roam my face. “I can’t believe you let him touch you,” he spits out his tone laced with disgust.

  “What I do and with whom is not your concern,” I say, my voice breathy and my teeth clenched.

  I jump at the sound of his hand slamming against the door for a second time.

  “I’m not fucking joking, Kailee. Stay away from my brother.”

  The vein in my throat pounds, and my voice wavers.

  “Why? Tell me why. You can’t drag me in here and scare me to death by threatening me without giving me a goddamn explanation.”

  “You deserve better. Be warned. My brother is never in it for the long haul.”

  “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” I say, crossing my arms and trying not to let what he’s said get to me. “Are we done now?” I ask, widening my eyes at him.

  “Not by a long shot,” he says, pushing himself away from the door.

  Ryder

  I watch as she turns her back on me, opening the door and leaving my sight. Turning, I punch the wall repeatedly, growling as I let out every goddamn pent-up emotion. How could she be so fucking stupid? My heart beats irregularly, and the rage inside doesn’t calm. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to talk to her, the right time to get her to listen. But fuck, I couldn’t sit there a moment longer, watching my brother lay his filthy hands on this precious girl, one too naïve and young to understand what kind of monster my brother is. What kind of monster I am.

  And what fucking tears me apart is knowing how fucking desperately I want her, but that I can never have her the way I want. Touch her in the way my body desires. I would never drag someone like her into this life we live; she deserves better, so much better than a life on the run from the police. I shake my hand, trying to relieve the stinging sensation caused by my fist connecting with the wall. The wall that now has an abundance of holes.

  I pace the room, my body like a bomb waiting to detonate. I can feel the intense anger raging through me. I need to get out. I need to get away from her because God help me, I’m not going to be able to control myself. I yank the door open, and storming down the stairs, I grab my jacket and helmet then search for the keys to my bike. I check the kitchen, the lobby, and lastly, the room Marco calls the decontamination room. The room we all arrived in. The room where Kailee had her hands on me, causing me to want her all the more. Her gentle touch causes my lame heart to fucking race.

  I see a pile of keys, so I search through and locate the one labeled as mine. Taking the key, I race outside. Using the fob, I make my way out of the gates, stopping just out front. I can see my bike parked on the huge gravel driveway. Only I know it’s not really my bike. It’s an identical replacement with all previous damage gone. All the blood stains and bullet holes are nowhere to be seen. I put on my helmet and jump on the bike. Shoving the key in the engine, I release the stand, grabbing the bike’s full weight. Pulling back on the handle, I rev the engine repeatedly. The bike’s engine roars to life, and it’s like music to my fucking ears. I speed toward the high gates, the gravel spraying out as my tires work frantically, spinning relentlessly as I accelerate. Hitting the brakes, I come to a harsh stop. I drop down the kickstand and make my way over to the control sectio
n of the gate to scan my fob, which releases the gates. They open slowly, giving me enough time to mount the bike and make my way through. As soon as I’m on the road, I’m flying toward home, the guilt weighing heavily on my mind.

  I’d promised Mom I would visit with groceries, but the dickhead in me got caught up in trouble and had to hide for the night, so I have to do it now.

  I pull in, running into the grocery store and grabbing the things I made a mental note she needed. I load what I have into the bike box and head straight there. I need to know she is okay, so I speed much faster than the limit. I skid to a stop as I pull up on the front of Mom’s house. I race around the back, rapping my knuckles against the door. Seconds feel like minutes as I wait for her to answer. My mind goes wild with worry; thoughts of why she’s taking so long play over and over in my head. Just as I’m about to knock again, Mom opens the door slowly.

  “Ryder, my love,” she says with a smile.

  “Hey, Ma.” I step through the door, kissing the top of her head. “What took you so long,” I ask. “I was starting to worry.”

  “I’m just having a bad day,” she explains as she hobbles her way back into the small living room, clutching any piece of furniture she can along the way. “You always have been so damn impatient,” she grumbles, a throaty chuckle escapes her.

  “I brought you groceries,” I say, holding up the bags. “I’ll get them put away.”

  “Put the pot on, son,” she shouts through, just before starting a coughing fit.

  “I ran out of milk, and I’m dying for a cup of coffee,” she says, wheezing as she tries to catch her breath. I drop the bags down on the counter, making my way back to her. I squat beside her, rubbing her back gently.