The edge of life: Official cover - coming soon

by Rachael Tonks

  “One minute,” I yell over at Ryder as I race toward Eric’s to retrieve my charger. I slowly open the door, hoping to be able to sneak in and cause no sort of nuisance. As soon as I open the door and look inside, all eyes are on me.

  “Get the fuck out,” Eric roars. I jump at the unexpected severity of his voice.

  “I-I-I just need to get my charger,” I stutter, pointing over at my room.

  Eric stands up, the chair scraping along the floor before dropping down to the ground with a bang.

  “I said get the fuck out.” He stomps his feet as he races toward me. I turn quickly, scrambling out of the door, a little shaken and bemused by his outburst. I run down the steps, my eyes focusing on my feet.

  “Shit,” I squeak as I run into something really hard.

  Ryder.

  “Pip… what’s wrong?” He curls his finger under my chin, a strong arm framed around my back, eyes meeting mine. I shudder with such intensity that my whole body shakes.

  “N-n-nothing,” I stutter again. Dammit, I’m starting to sound like some bumbling idiot.

  “What happened?” he asks with assertiveness to his tone. But before I can answer, his eyes leave mine, and his head rises. His eyes become dark, and his whole face becomes rigid.

  “Is this something to do with you?” he growls, his voice so low I feel the vibrations against my skin. I snap my head, looking behind me. Eric’s standing at the door.

  “She has no right coming in here when I have company. This is business, Ryder.”

  “Last time I checked, she was living with you… seems she can come in whenever she likes.”

  “I saw the cars parked outside,” I interrupt. “I wasn’t planning to stay; I just need my charger, which I did try to explain. But instead, you just yelled at me.”

  “I don’t have time for this bullshit.” Eric turns to walk back inside, his hand resting on the door.

  “Hold the fuck up,” Ryder says, parting from me and making his way up the steps. In one swift movement, he has Eric by the scruff of his neck.

  “Kailee needs her charger, and honestly,” he says, pausing for just a second, “maybe you should be conducting your business somewhere a little more private. This is her home, and she is just as entitled to use it as you are. Got that?”

  “Oh, back the fuck off, big boy,” Eric drawls, scowling at Ryder. “I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be acting like this if Jax was here to see you.”

  “Jax would do jack shit if he was here.”

  “Well, maybe we should see what he has to say when I tell him just how cozy you two looked just now…” he sneers. “Don’t think I haven’t seen the way you are around her, Ryder. How you eye fuck her every time you lay eyes on her. You want her, don’t you, Ryder? Go on, admit it!”

  “Watch your motherfucking mouth,” he says, his hand now around his throat, squeezing with force. Eric lifts his shoulders in reaction, clutching at Ryder’s hand.

  “I’m not scared of you.” He laughs menacingly.

  “Well, maybe you should be,” Ryder whispers in his ear. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a blade, and presses it against Eric’s throat. “Go on, tell me you’re not scared now,” he breathes heavily, and Eric’s face drops, as his trembling hands cover Ryder’s. Sweat beads on his forehead and it’s obvious that he is, in fact, fearful.

  “You would never do it,” Eric all but goads him.

  “Oh, and why’s that, shit face?” Ryder chuckles, and it’s like he gets a kick out of the power he has over Eric. His size dominates him, and despite his attempts, Eric can’t move Ryder.

  “You would never do it. You know how important I am to your brother.”

  “You’re nothing. A fucking nobody,” Ryder retorts, pressing the blade with more force against his neck. In one swift movement, he slides the blade across his neck, pushing him down to the ground with one forceful shove.

  “Oh my god,” I scream out, my hands fly over my mouth, and I turn my head, tearing my eyes away.

  “What the fuck… what the fuck have you done to me,” Eric mumbles, scrambling to his knees hands held tight against his throat.

  “It’s a small cut at best.” Ryder steps over him, striding toward me.

  “Is he really hurt?” I rush out in a panic. My eyes dash back and forth between Ryder and Eric knelt on the ground.

  “No,” Ryder snarls. “It’s no more than a fucking paper cut, fucking pussy.” He growls. Grabbing my arm, he starts leading me to his trailer, but my eyes remain on Eric, trying to figure out if it is just a small cut. He removes his hand, and when I see a small trickle of blood, I let out a huge sigh I didn’t realize I had been holding back.

  “Let go of my arm,” I say, snapping it from his hold as we make our way inside the twin’s trailer. “I seriously can’t believe you just did that,” I screech.

  “It was a warning. The only kind that sort of son of a bitch understands.”

  “You don’t have to defend me all the time, Ryder.”

  “I don’t like you being in that trailer with him. There’s just something that doesn’t fucking sit right about this whole situation.” He throws his arms in the air. “Have you thought any more about my offer? You know, to stay with my mom for a while.”

  The truth is I’ve thought about it. I’ve thought about how good it would be to be so close to my friends, but after talking to Jax, I just can’t. The pain in his eyes when he was telling me all the things that happened to him as a boy. Well, I can’t betray him. Not like that.

  “Is what Eric said right?” I blurt out, changing the subject before my mind even has a chance to digest what Eric is suggesting. Jeez, Kailee. Inside voices would have been great.

  “Which part? The bit about me eye fucking you, or the part where he says I want you?” he asks, moving toward me. One step at a time, he closes the space between us, and my heart pounds erratically. He’s so close now that he has me pinned against the wall of the trailer; a heavy hand lands on either side of my head.

  “Every fucking time I see you, my dick twitches. I’d give anything to bury it so fucking deep inside you. Over and over until you were screaming my motherfucking name.”

  “Thanks. I think,” I say jokingly, and his stern face softens as a smile twitches at the corner of his mouth.

  “But it’s never going to happen. You know that, right?” he asks, his eyes pinned on me with intensity. “Because you deserve better than me, better than him.”

  “You don’t get to tell me what I deserve,” I say, pushing back on his chest with all my might. But my weak attempt barely makes an impact. He leans into me, running the tip of his nose along my jaw and toward my ear. I shiver with force, the small contact such a turn-on.

  He works his mouth over my neck. I tilt my head to the side, allowing him access, desperate to feel more.

  “Do you know how hard it’s been for me to fight the temptation to make you mine?” His husky voice is like music to my ears.

  “But it’s not gonna happen, right?” I breathe out, trying to steady my racing heart. Ryder is starting to give me whiplash. One minute, he’s saying how much he wants me, and the next, he’s telling me it’s never going to happen. “You need to make up your damn mind.” I glower at him.

  I lean back against the wall as his lips crash down on mine. My body heaves against the weight, pinning me to the wall. My mouth opens willingly, granting him access as he deepens the kiss. My heart flares to life as he works his mouth against mine, the contact and taste of him so divine. He has that manly, musky taste, and I can’t help but want more. My hands wrap around his neck like I have no freaking control. My heart hammers in my chest as the heat sears through every inch of my body.

  I lean into him, kissing him back with everything I have. I know how bad he is, how dangerous it is here in his arms, but I can’t help it. I can’t help the desire that courses through me as we kiss so deeply, so passionately. At this moment, the only thing I can think of is him. His hands
roam down my side, stopping and landing firmly on my ass. He grabs and lifts me from the floor; my legs wrap around his waist automatically.

  He walks backward, kicking open the door to his bedroom. He turns, walking inside, and drops me on the bed. I let out a little shriek at the unexpectedness of it. My hair splays across my face, and I reach, brushing the strands from my face. I look up at him, and thoughts of Jax flash in my mind.

  “We shouldn’t be doing this,” I say, pushing myself up to a sitting position, my arms behind me holding me up.

  “But you want to?” he says as he leans on all fours, slowly crawling toward me until his body is over mine.

  A lump forms in my throat, and I honestly don’t know what I want. “No,” I croak out in a sort of knee-jerk reaction.

  “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

  “I’m not sure I know anything, Ryder,” I choke out, my mind bustling with confusion. I’d become so close to Jax, so comfortable with him, yet I’m here with his hothead, crazy ass brother.

  “I recognize all the signs, Kailee. The way your body is reacting to me. How you suddenly become nervous when we’re near each other. How your breathing changes. Believe me when I say they are all fucking there, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.” He leans in closer, slowly touching the side of my face.

  His feather light touch causes me to tremble. Goose pimples cover my body in an instant reaction. I feel the heat and close my eyes, holding on desperately to the denial. Every inch of my skin tingles. My head spins as his touch begins to send me into a frenzy.

  Shit!

  I know I shouldn’t feel like this. My heart starts pounding erratically in my chest. I push back, my eyes flying open wide.

  “No,” I say weakly, but his hands trail from my face and down my neck. A laugh escapes him.

  “You’re not fucking fooling me, pip.”

  “I gotta go,” I say, rolling to my side to get off his bed, but his body pins me effortlessly in place. “Let me go,” I yell at him. He searches my face for confirmation, and within a second, he’s on his feet.

  “You say you don’t want this then fuck, I ain’t gonna force you. But I guarantee this, pip. You will come back, begging me for it, because deep down inside, you’re only fucking kidding yourself.”

  I scramble from the bed; his eyes glued to me. “W-w-what about Jax?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and pulling them tight.

  “It wasn’t Jax you were thinking about when I had my fucking tongue down your throat,” he snaps.

  “I’m not listening to this,” I say, storming out and back out into the living area. Slamming my body down onto the couch, I pull my knees up and rest my chin there.

  How did I let this happen? How could I be so stupid?

  Ryder

  Tonight is the night of my big fight, and I’d be a liar if I said I’m not nervous. Because I am. So goddamn nervous about my comeback fight. But I can hand on heart say I’m ready. So fucking ready for this. I’ve trained tirelessly, ensuring I’m ready for this—not just physically but mentally too. When I haven’t been at the gym, I’ve been visiting Mom. I picked up a load of late payment notifications when I was there yesterday. I can’t believe she’s so behind on everything, and as each day passes, the medical bills get fucking bigger. I have to have it paid before her next consultation, so that’s why losing this motherfucking fight isn’t even an option.

  Getting my gear together, I plan to go to the gym today for one last time just to do a bit of light, last-minute training. I throw the bag over my shoulder and head out of the trailer, locking the door behind me. I haven’t seen Jax since yesterday, and to say I’ve been keeping my distance from Kailee, well, that would be a fucking understatement. Jax’s car is parked just in front of our trailer. Unlocking the rear door, I throw my bag into the back. My eyes are drawn to a Honda Civic pulling into the trailer park. I pause for a second, watching as it drives closer. Narrowing my eyes, I suddenly recognize the driver.

  Kailee.

  And Jax is in the passenger seat. As they pull up beside me, Jax rolls down the window.

  “What the fuck is this?” I ask, bending my head until I’m in line with the window.

  “My birthday present to Kailee.” Her eyes flit to me, and a solemn smile spreads.

  “Isn’t it great? I’ll be able to go wherever I want without having to rely on one of you guys now.” Her voice is upbeat, but her face still looks kinda sad. Her eyes drop as she reaches to release her belt, stepping out from the car. I step back, allowing Jax to open his door.

  “How the fuck did you pay for this?” I remark.

  “I got a good deal” —he shrugs— “and Eric contributed. He said it’s money from her dad.”

  I narrow my gaze at him with suspicion. Something about this doesn’t sit right with me. From what I know, my brother doesn’t have this sort of money.

  “I’m going to the gym,” I grunt, tipping my head toward his car.

  “Again?” he asks, widening his eyes. “You’ve practically lived there for the last week.”

  “I have to be prepared. Losing this fight is not an option.” He lifts the corner of his mouth, giving me a sideways smile.

  “You need me to come along?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder at Kailee then back at me.

  “It’s fine. You go,” Kailee interrupts, resting her hand on his arm. “I’d love to visit my friends, you know, now that I have my own car and all.” She twirls a few loose strands of hair as she smiles sweetly at Jax.

  “Only if you’re sure, babe.” He smiles back at her, wrapping his arm around her waist. “You can thank me later then, yeah?” he whispers, but I can’t erase what I just heard.

  I can’t stand around and listen to any more of this; I have to get out of here. This is why I’ve barely been around. Because I can’t fucking bear it.

  She’s spending every spare moment with Jax, and the pair of them are constantly at our trailer. I pull open the door, dropping into the driver’s seat, and fumble to get the key in the damn ignition as fast as I can.

  I start the engine just as Jax opens the passenger side door.

  “What’s the fucking rush, man,” he huffs as he slides inside.

  “Nothing,” I snap. “I just don’t have all day.”

  “I honestly don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you,” he says, turning his torso toward me. “What’s going on in that fucking head of yours? I mean seriously, that little stunt with Eric could have gotten us both in the fucking shit.” He glares at me, and although I can’t see him, I can feel his eyes burning into me. What on God’s earth am I gonna say? Because the truth sure as shit won’t go down well.

  “He deserved it and more. I mean I don’t really know what his deal is with Kailee, but you need to watch him, man. He’s fucking up to something.”

  “I doubt that.” He lets out an exaggerated breath. “So this is about Kailee then?”

  “No,” I roar before continuing. “It’s this fight, man,” I lie, sighing heavily. “I gotta smash this motherfucker. I put all the money I have on it. Marco will be there; he’s going to use my money to bet on me.”

  “You’ve got this, bro,” he says, his hand landing heavily on my shoulder. “You got this. You’re ready!”

  “I fucking hope so. I literally have everything riding on this one fight. Losing just ain’t an option.”

  I got too much to lose. I have to do everything in my power to make sure I win. Tonight, I have to push Kailee out of my mind. She’s clouded my thoughts since the minute she arrived here, and what my brother says is true. I have changed. I’ve become a man obsessed with a fucking girl I can never have. Kissing her the other day was like having a winning lottery ticket in my hand. The most exciting and exhilarating feeling of my life. To finally have a taste of something I’ve craved for weeks. Only to come crashing back down to earth with a bang at the realization this girl I desire will never be mine. I feel like I’m battling an addiction.
The feeling of wanting something so badly, but desperately trying to resist, because I know nothing good can come of it.

  She has my head in a motherfucking spin, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.

  But I know she wants me. I can tell by how her body reacts to me. It’s the look in her eyes, and the way her posture changes. She’s screaming to be touched. And fuck, do I want to touch. One taste just wasn’t enough.

  Kailee

  Jax bought me a car. I’m absolutely floored and a little shocked at the grandness of his gesture. I’m not entirely sure where I stand with him. We haven’t said we are a couple, but we haven’t discussed dating other people either. I don’t want to put a label on us just yet. Things are going so well between us, and I genuinely enjoy spending time with him.

  That was until Ryder kissed me. He kissed me, and I kissed him back, unable to resist his advances. And it felt good. So good, in fact, that I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. Or about him. He’s like a ticking time bomb of explosive proportions. Everything he does is extreme. His reaction when he’s angry and that kiss was certainly extreme. And for as much as I will my mind, I can’t push the memory out or far enough away for me to forget.

  He avoids me, and I try to do the same. It’s the only thing we can do.

  I’m dreading tonight. Jax was adamant that he wanted me to go along to Ryder’s fight, but I’m just nervous at what will happen, and how seedy the whole damn place will be. He assures me I’ll be fine, but I’m not so sure.

  I race to my room to get ready while Jax waits in the living area. I pull out a few pieces which could be perfect for tonight. I need to find an outfit that has the right balance of sexy but not slutty. Pretty but not overdressed. After all, this is an underground fight, not some nice bar somewhere.

  Figure hugging jeans and a pretty top are about the best I can come up with from the small amount of clothing I possess. I pull the small mirror from my cosmetic bag and layer on a subtle pink lip-gloss. I very rarely wear a full face of makeup, but tonight, I want to make the effort.