The Outdoorsman's Son

by Daniel Elijah Sanderfer

  I made myself a promise a long time ago that I would never be like him. The person I fell in love with would be my whole world, and from that moment on; I would never have eyes for anyone but them, and now, just like a flower in Spring, that promise was coming to fruition.

  From the moment I saw him at dads shop, it felt like I had been born again, his beautiful body awakening desires hidden deep within my soul, and I couldn’t escape the heart-shaped hole I was falling in. The only way to escape was to make him more than just my friend.

  As we drove home, my mind was bombarded with thoughts: thoughts of Derrick, thoughts of the party this weekend, and how I was going to get away from Mindy at the party to spend time with him.

  She was especially clingy around our friends; she often staked her claim by putting her hand in my back pocket or hanging off of me like a baby monkey to its mama in the jungle. To be honest with you, I really disliked it. I wasn’t sure who I was yet, and her jealous unwanted affections always made me want to get away from her.

  Right now, all I wanted to do was go home and hide away in my room to sort this mess out. Lord knows I couldn’t think with dad in the car. He is one of those country guys that talks a mile a minute. I think it’s a nervous tick or something because every time it gets quiet; he feels the need to fill the void with mindless conversation.

  His voice boomed from the driver's side of the truck, “So, you and Dan’s son seem to have hit it off pretty well.”

  I mumbled, not really wanting to talk right now, “Yeah, he seems nice.”

  Dad replied with a chuckle, “If he’s anything like his daddy; he’s as clean and fresh winter snow.”

  The association of Derrick and purity made me feel so dirty all of sudden because all I could think about was making out with him. I closed my eyes trying to dispell the image of his naked body from my mind, but no matter how hard I tried my internal desires played the fantasy in my mind over and over again like an old movie on loop.

  Finally, my dad pulled up to the farmhouse. I bolted from the truck like a bat out of hell, and shouted to my dad as I retreated, “I’m going to go work in the junkyard.”

  He fired back a quick reply, “Be careful; I’m gonna go find me something to eat.”

  I didn’t wait around to converse further. I had to get away as quickly as possible. Even though it was still two days away, all of the stress of this party was weighing heavy on my mind, and as I turned the corner of the barn, the meadow came into view. I could always think better when I was emersed in nature.

  I stood at the edge of the meadow, momentarily taking in the fresh Spring air dancing across the newly sprouted wheat grass. I could hear it whisper, and I listened, but the only sound I could hear was the sound of my heart beating. The haunting notion that I might be in love was starting to envelop me, and I collapsed to the ground as tears welled up in my eyes.

  I cried out, “What the hell is wrong with me?”

  But when I closed my eyes; the only thing I could see was the image of his face ingrained into my mind, it was so present, so real; I felt if I stretched out my hand I could soothe my pain by caressing his face. It was then I realized if loving him was a sin, then eternal damnation be damned. I could no longer lie about who I am. I had to ease the tormented state my mind was in, and the only way to do that was to taste him.

  What seemed like an eternity passed by before I finally lifted myself from the ground. I wiped my tears on my sleeve, stiffened my upper lip, and made my way back to the house. The first thing I had to do was break it off with Mindy.

  Dad was sitting in the living room watching fishermen tv as I sprinted past him and grabbed the phone from its stand. He arched a brow at me, “What are you up to?”

  I replied, “Nothing, I just needed to make a call.”

  I didn’t have time to explain. I had to take care of this while I still had the nerve. I made my way upstairs to my room, closing the door behind me so dad couldn’t hear me break it off with her. He really liked her but not because she was good for me. Because he was friends with her dad, and he knew they were rich too.

  I had no aspirations of being rich. I just wanted to be happy, and if I ended up living in a trailer with Derrick, then so be it. All we needed was each other, and I already knew he liked me. At this point; I didn’t give a damn who liked it; I couldn’t go on with this charade any longer. Mindy could find herself another beau to make her look good around her friends and parents.

  As I dialed the phone and the robotic ringing vibrated I felt a wave of nervousness wash over me like a rogue wave from the ocean. Her voice came over the line, and suddenly I couldn't help but feel like the lump in my throat doubled in size. She whined in that fake, what do you want tone, “Hi snuggle bear.”

  I hated that nickname, and it was just the swift kick in the balls I needed to get on with it. I cleared my throat and replied with a frosty, “Hey.”

  Her tone swiftly changed, “What's wrong babe; you sound so strange?”

  I hesitated before replying, “Look, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

  An eerie silence lingered from her end of the line like a stench of death in the air before she replied; her voice deep and contrite, “Oh, do you think it’s that easy, that you can just call me up and break up over the phone. I have an image to keep up Timothy, and I’ll be damned if you’re going to blow me off like this.”

  I was shocked. I had seen her cut other girls down to size but never would I have thought she would unsheath her claws and aim them at me. I attempted to soften the blow, “Look we don’t have anything in common, and I know you have wanted to take things to the next level for a while now. I’m just not ready for that.”

  She chuckled an evil laugh, “I see. This weekend is the biggest social event of the season, and I’m going to be there, at your house, and you are going to play the doting boyfriend just like I trained you to be or else I will tell your dad about your little boyfriend.”

  I felt my blood boil, and my temperature rise as I shouted, “What are you talking about?”

  She huffed a haughty sigh of contempt, “You don’t think I know about your boy toy. I have eyes everywhere in this town, and Christy Davis’ dad saw you two making eyes at one another at your dad’s shop the other day.”

  I growled, “So help me, Mindy, if you do I will tell your mom and dad about all the times you flashed your tits and made a pass at me.”

  She snickered, “Oh really, how about I just come down there right now and tell your dad that you’re a fag?”

  I lost control and punched the wall, leaving an impression of my fist in it, and my hand numb from the blunt force. Dad shouted from downstairs, “What the hell is going on up there?”

  Through my gritted teeth I replied, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

  I turned my attention back to Mindy, “What do I have to do, to get you to leave me alone then?”

  She contemplated for a moment before replying, “It’s not so much that I’m going to leave, but you are going to drive me away through a series of actions that make me look like a sweet princess, and make you look like an asshole.”

  I tried to keep a stiff upper lip and from crying as I replied, “Why are you doing this to me?”

  She hissed, “Because I always get what I want and if it’s not provided to me then I’ll take it any way I can.”

  I retorted, “And if I refuse?”

  She huffed, “That’s your prerogative, but if you want to live happily ever after with your little fag boy then you’ll dance to the beat of my drum.”

  I huffed, “Fine, just don’t you dare do anything to hurt Derrick.” She made a kissing noise as we hung up, prompting me to throw the phone across the room; it scattered the stuff on my dresser as it flew by. Then, I collapsed onto the bed, punching my pillow as I shouted, “That freaking bitch, what have I done to deserve this?”

  The last thing I wanted to do, was play Romeo to her Juliet especially since there was never anyt
hing between the two of us, to begin with.

  I laid in silence wishing, praying for God to take the pain away. It wasn’t that I was afraid of her or even what our friends would say. I never gave a damn what they thought anyway I was afraid of my dad, and of losing everything. Even if there was something between Derrick and me; she wasn’t going to give me the chance to find out.

  The minute he arrives and see’s her hanging off of me; he’ll never speak to me again, and the thought of seeing him unhappy was tearing my heart to shreds. No sooner do I meet the boy of my dreams, Mindy was going to see to it that all of my dreams were shattered just like my heart.

  CONFRONTATION

  The Spring break party was two days away now, and so far I had done everything she wanted to perfection. Unknown to her, part of me enjoyed getting to make a fool out of her.

  It started on the Monday after our confrontation. We met as we normally did at the main entrance to the school, but instead of holding the door open for her like I normally did; I was to enter without her, letting the door slam before she could enter.

  The first time it happened was staged, but I decided to take it a step further. Throughout the day whenever the opportunity presented itself, I let the door slam before she could enter, and by the time lunch had arrived I could tell she was livid.

  My joy didn’t last long because at lunch she wanted me to proceed with part two of the plan. Here’s how it played out. As she chatted mindlessly about her gal pals and church functions; I stared numbly at the wall pretending not to care about anything she was telling me. That wasn’t so hard because its what I did ninety percent of the time.

  But when she leaned in to initiate part two, I protested. How a pastor's girls could be so cold and calculating was making me second guess what church was even for, because she obviously didn’t hear the part about loving your enemies.

  She hissed, “Stand up and shout something at me!”

  I quipped, “Like what?”

  She fired back, “I don’t know, maybe do you ever shut up?”

  I swallowed hard and mumbled, “Why are you doing this Mindy?”

  She diverted her eyes and retorted, “I didn’t; you did.”

  It was what I needed to do what she wanted, but my response wasn’t what she was hoping for. I stood, shoving my lunch tray off the table, “Me, really; this is what you wanted. Well, I’m not playing this game anymore. Do whatever you want Mindy because it’s over.”

  She clutched her chest, and her face washed with a shocked expression as I stormed away. I had to get away from this place. I ran to my locker, grabbing my backpack from inside and kicked the door as I exited the school.

  When I made it to my truck, I threw my backpack to the passenger's side of the truck and pounded the steering wheel with my fists and shouting, “I can’t take this anymore.”

  I let out a few sobs before stiffening my upper lip and shifting the truck into gear. I made a decision; today I was going to have as much fun with Derrick before Mindy told everyone the truth. I sped toward his house, hoping he would be home. He hadn’t started school yet, because it was so late in the year. His parents had decided to wait until next year.

  I pulled into the driveway and stepped out. I saw his dad emerge from the garage, wiping grease from his hands from working on that tractor. He greeted me warmly, “Hey Timothy, what brings you out this way; shouldn’t you be in school?”

  I mumbled a reply, “I just wasn’t feeling it today, and decided to head out early.”

  We paused for a minute before I asked, “Is Derrick around; I wanted to see if he could hang out?”

  Mr. Sowers replied, “I think he’s inside helping his mom.”

  I could feel my heartbeat accelerate as I replied, “Thanks, Mr. Sowers.”

  He smiled, “You’re welcome; just make sure it’s okay with the wife before you kidnap him for the day.”

  I nodded, before proceeding to the house. I hesitated at the door. Before I could knock he emerged, running right into me. He stuttered, gripping my arms as he searched for his words. Our eyes met, and a look of shock washed over his face as he whimpered, “Timothy!”

  I smiled at him, and he took a deep breath, “What are you doing here?”

  His big blue eyes had rendered me momentarily speechless, and we stared for what seemed like an eternity before I mumbled, “I came to see if you wanted to hang out?”

  He glanced back inside the house, then to me a few times before he replied with a grin, “I would love too, but I have to make sure it’s okay with my parents?”

  I smiled, “It’s okay with your dad if it’s okay with your mom.”

  He breathed in out a few times, and I was worried he was going to hyperventilate. So I subtly gripped his hand and whispered, “Hurry, I don’t have long.”

  He shouted to his mom, “Do you mind if I go hang out with Timothy.”

  She replied from around the corner, “Go ahead, just be back in time for dinner.”

  He turned to me and bit his bottom lip. I couldn’t help but smile back at him. Seeing him smile made me feel alive for the first time in my life. His unspoiled demeanor was the perfect remedy for my selfish heart. Except now, I had a reason to be selfish; and that reason had a little boy smile and the lips of an angel.

  For a brief moment, I debated running away with him. I know we had only just met, but we had the rest of our lives to get to know one another, and soon life as I knew it would end. I only hoped he and I would be okay after the storm blew over.

  It’s funny if you think about it. Why do the most beautiful days always happen before a storm? You see the warning signs, but when you're living in the moment, you’re not thinking about the storms ahead. Life is the same. Even though I could see the clouds gathering in the distance, the only thing I cared about right now was spending my day with him before my world as I knew it was destroyed.

  I arched my brow at him and whispered, “Let’s go,” and he and I ran from the front porch to my truck. He hoped inside and turned to me, “So where do you want to go?”

  I stared at him for a moment, taking in the architecture of his face, and the way the midafternoon sun was reflecting off his soft complexion. I whispered, “Anywhere is fine as long as we're together.”

  He didn’t hear me and replied with a confused, “Huh?”

  I smiled and shifted the truck into drive. We started down the country road that led to his parents and headed towards my house. I knew dad would be at work and we could spend some time alone together before all hell broke loose.

  I was starving so we stopped at Denny’s on the way. He turned to me with a nervous expression, “Why’d we stop here, I don’t have any money, but your welcome to get something.”

  I grinned, “I wouldn’t take you somewhere to eat, and expect you to pay your own way. That wouldn’t make me much of a gentleman would it?”

  He bit his bottom lip and replied, “I’m sorry; I’m just not used to going out.”

  I shook my head, “No worries; I was starving since I didn’t get to eat lunch.”

  He shrugged, “I could eat.”

  I playfully punched his shoulder, “Then let’s go.”

  We hopped out of the pickup and made our way inside; taking a booth next to the window. A nice waitress approached, “Hiya boys, what can I get ya today?”

  I asked him, “What would you like?”

  He stared at me inquisitively, “I’ve never been here before, what’s good?”

  The waitress smiled at him, “How about a house burger and fries?”

  My heart sighed at his nonchalant way of answering her, “Sounds good to me.”

  I turned my attention to her, “Two please?”

  She nodded, “And what to drink?”

  He glanced at me and mumbled, “Can I have a coke?”

  I replied with a grin, “You can have anything you want.”

  I watched his face light up as he turned to her and chirped, “One coke please.”

/>   I added, “Make it two.”

  She nodded, and scribbled away on the ticket before glancing up at us, “Alrighty boy’s it’ll be out in a few.”

  I thanked her and turned my focus back to Derrick who was playing with the ketchup bottle. He glanced up at me and quipped, “What?”

  I shook my head, “Nothing, I’m just enjoying spending time with you.”

  I could see a tinge of blush highlight his face as he asked, “So, why did you ditch school to hang out with me.”

  I glanced around to make sure no one was watching as I subtly placed my hand on top of his. Our eyes met; his were full of wonder and surprise as he glanced at our hands and then back to me.

  I took a moment to answer his question. “I’m not sure if there is something here, but ever since I first saw you at the shop, there was something inside of me that wouldn’t leave me alone until I found out.”

  He turned his hand upward gripping mine tightly as we held our gaze. I could feel the electricity surge between us as our skin kissed one another and his lips formed a smile. It was at that moment I realized there would never be another boy in my life but him. He whispered, “That’s because there is. Ever since I saw you my heart longed to know if you and I should be we.”

  My mouth was suspended open, as well as his, and chills ran up my body as our faces edged ever closer to one another’s. Suddenly, the waitress emerged before us holding our plates and shouted, “Two house cheeseburgers and two cokes.”

  We withdrew our hands, closed our lips and glanced around nervously for a moment as she sat them before us and turned to walk away. Our eyes met, and we suppressed a fit of giggles as she resurfaced before us and leaned in; with a hushed tone she spoke, “You boys best be careful around here, I don’t care, but these old farts around here will have a heart attack if they see two gay boys on date.”

  We nodded in silence as she walked away. Turning our attention to one another Derrick cocked his head to the side and quipped, “Is this a date?”

  I smirked, “It can be if you want it to be?”

  He grinned and retorted, “Well I do.”