The Proposal Plan

by Charlotte Phillips

  ‘How do you know this is about Ed?’

  ‘Well, I think the whole street probably heard you slam that front door,’ he said. ‘In fact I’m surprised the building is still standing.’ When she didn’t laugh this time he looked briefly across at her again. ‘Are you OK, Lu?’ He took his hand from the steering wheel and placed it over hers. She felt a sparkling rush of electricity start in her wrists and spread slowly up her arms. The softness in his voice made the tears threaten again and she swallowed hard. Keep it together, Lucy.

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he ventured, concern obvious in his voice.

  She shook her head vigorously. ‘It’s just a stupid row.’ Her voice sounded thick through her stuffy nose.

  Why does my heart leap like this when he touches me? Why him and not Ed? She didn’t want this. Her future with Ed meant so much to her and she wanted to feel passion for him, not Gabriel or anyone else. She wished she could force her body to react to Ed in the way it did to Gabriel, tingling at his touch and melting when he looked at her in a certain way, but it seemed mind control only went so far and her body was working to its own subconscious agenda.

  Maybe she should drop this whole proposal thing. All this upheaval had only begun when she started planning it all out. Her heart sank miserably at the thought. She’d spent so long wanting her happy family it made her throat tighten to think of giving it up. But she wasn’t sure she could ignore the growing feeling that she’d be settling for Ed when he just didn’t inspire the passion in her that she knew she felt for Gabriel. Was settling for someone really good enough? For Ed or for her?

  ‘Let’s just forget about it and concentrate on tonight,’ Gabriel said. ‘This isn’t a social evening, you know, it’s practically a career move. Get this wrong and it could set back my senior partnership prospects by a good few years. It’s vital to look and play the part in the right way.’

  She shook her head at him, exasperated. ‘Don’t you think you’re taking the whole thing a bit seriously? Surely your bosses wouldn’t make a business decision based on who you roll up with at some work function.’

  ‘They might,’ he said, glancing across at her. ‘Sleeping with work colleagues isn’t seen as best practice in current legal circles.’

  ‘Well, why do it, then?’

  He shrugged. ‘It always seems like a good idea at the time. And it’s never meant to be anything serious.’

  She was relieved to be talking about him rather than dwelling on her own problems.

  ‘That’s where you’re going wrong. You obviously don’t understand women.’ She pointed at him with an emphatic finger. ‘If a woman sleeps with you, it’s an emotional investment, Gabriel. Most women would follow that up by wondering how your surname would sound after their first name.’ She got out her lip gloss and, looking in the visor mirror again, reapplied it before adding, ‘And you wonder why they get fed up when you ditch them after a month.’

  He grinned. ‘Actually I found that a month was a bit long. They tend to be far more accepting if you only see them for three weeks max.’

  ‘You’re such a pain.’ She looked at him wearily.

  ‘You like me that way, though. You’d hate it if I never annoyed you.’ He winked quickly across at her before turning his attention back to the road.

  She smiled down at her hands. He was right. His lunacy was just what she needed to cheer her up.

  When Gabriel parked the car he opened the door for her, and when she stood up next to him her new heels meant the difference in their height was much more balanced than it usually was. She was used to feeling tiny next to him but now she only had to tip her chin up slightly to look at him properly. She was sharply aware of his hand resting in the small of her back as they walked towards the entrance. The dinner was being held in an exclusive hotel in the city centre and she couldn’t hide a delighted little gasp as they walked through the huge double doors into the ballroom. The room had typically lovely ornate high ceilings, like so many of the beautiful Georgian buildings in Bath. It was dimly lit and large circular tables framed a gleaming parquet dance floor. The tables were set with impeccable white china and linen and silver cutlery twinkled beside crystal wine goblets in the candlelight. A jazz band was playing background music at one end of the room, something mellow with a lot of piano, and later there would be dancing. Lucy couldn’t remember having been in a room that looked lovelier.

  Gabriel took two flutes of champagne from the silver tray of a passing waiter and handed one to her.

  ‘Thanks.’ She took a sip and surveyed the room. The men looked wonderful in dinner dress but it was the women who really caught her attention. There were dresses in every colour imaginable. She looked down at herself briefly, and wished for a moment that she hadn’t chosen black. How predictable. Much as she’d loved her dress, it now felt drab.

  As if he could read her mind Gabriel leaned in and whispered in her ear, ‘You look beautiful, by the way. I didn’t get the chance to tell you in the car.’ She felt his breath against her neck and it made her feel suddenly light-headed. A warm tingling sensation made its way slowly down her body. Her legs felt unsteady. She took another, larger, sip of the champagne. What on earth would Gabriel think if he knew she was having to mentally squash the thought of what his hands might feel like if he touched her like a lover instead of a friend? Her face felt overly warm and she was glad the room was dark. She hoped it would hide her blushes.

  Gabriel was smiling and nodding as they walked through the room. ‘Must introduce you to a few people,’ he said. Sliding an arm around her waist, he propelled her further into the room. She was more aware of his hand against her than of anything else going on, as if her senses had been realigned. The music passed her by. The people were irrelevant.

  Gabriel was quite proud of the way he was holding it together. Even after an hour in her company he still couldn’t believe how stunning Lucy looked in the silk dress. The fabric clung to her so that he almost felt he could see the contours of her body through it. And the heels made her legs seem to go on for ever. He was actually grateful for the diversion provided by her argument with Ed, much as he hated seeing her upset. At least it meant she hadn’t noticed that he was struggling to keep calm while his heart was thundering in his chest. He’d kept his eyes firmly on the road for the best part of the journey, giving him a chance to get himself under control. Just friends, he kept telling himself. Perhaps if he repeated that mantra throughout the evening he would be OK.

  Their table turned out to be one of the ones close to the jazz band and Lucy was secretly pleased. It gave her somewhere other to look than at Gabriel. It seemed she couldn’t trust her body to behave itself and so she would have to rely on external diversions to get through the evening without making a fool of herself. Gabriel would surely think it hilarious if he knew she was suddenly finding him attractive. She tried hard to keep her mind on Ed. Loyal Ed, who’d always been enough for her before. He was obviously feeling very insecure in their relationship and she hated herself for stirring up feelings like that. In fact he probably had every reason to jump to the wrong conclusion about her and Gabriel after the clothes thing, and the fact Gabriel had been around so much in the last couple of weeks. Everything he’d said to her at her flat had been rooted in the truth.

  Really, Lucy? Is it really such a wrong conclusion? She felt cheated that she didn’t seem able to get that depth of connection with Ed that she had with Gabe. She would be mad to still consider marriage when she had these doubts. Why press ahead when her head was being turned like this? Because these feelings for Gabriel aren’t real, Lucy. No good can come of them. Ed was real. In the car Gabriel was just so perfect after Ed’s outburst at the flat, knowing exactly how to behave as if he could read her mind. He affected her in so many ways that Ed didn’t. But things with Ed were surely too good to throw away on something that could never be. She was so confused.

  The evening wore on. The food was delicious. A warm duck salad star
ter, followed by the most impeccably cooked steak in a delicious sauce. Lucy found she had little appetite, though, and when she looked at Gabriel’s plate she could see he’d barely touched his food, too.

  As coffee was finally being served people began to disperse around the room after sitting at the tables for the duration of the meal. Lucy felt nervous butterflies rise a little in her stomach. It had been easy while the food was served. Each circular table seated ten people and the conversation had flowed freely between them. There was no real opportunity for a private conversation. Gabriel had networked furiously and she was beginning to see why he was such a success at work. The couple sitting on the other side of him were looking for new legal representation and by the end of the final course he had them well and truly in the palm of his hand. She couldn’t fail to be impressed. His work was a world away from hers.

  Eventually there were just four people left at their table. Another couple on the opposite side were talking quietly and Gabriel turned to Lucy. She picked up her water glass to keep her hand steady, and took a few sips. The champagne had made her feel light-headed and the last thing she wanted was to get drunk.

  ‘You haven’t asked me once about Ed,’ she said. Talking about Ed would keep her mind where it ought to be.

  ‘I know,’ he said. ‘But when we last discussed Ed you asked me to stop meddling. I thought I’d overstepped the mark a bit on that one.’ He took a sip from his own glass and looked at her over the rim. ‘Still going ahead with the proposal, then?’ He raised a questioning eyebrow.

  She looked at him. ‘I know we argued before I left the flat, but it was my fault really. Everyone argues sometimes in a normal healthy relationship.’

  He nodded, non-committally.

  His silence made her feel compelled to press on. ‘Ed is feeling a bit unsettled with me at the moment. I don’t think he’s sure of where he stands any more.’ She looked at Gabriel and shrugged. ‘I can’t really blame him, can I? Suddenly I start dressing differently. I start hanging out with you more. He thinks there’s something going on between us.’ She let out a little laugh.

  ‘Would that be so funny?’ Gabriel asked. He was smiling, too, but his gaze was very intense. She felt unable to tear her eyes away from his.

  ‘No… yes… of course not.’ She struggled to say what she meant without offending him or giving her feelings away. ‘I just meant it was a mad conclusion to jump to, that’s all. Mad for you and me, I mean. To him it seems a logical explanation.’

  Gabriel looked at her a moment longer, then shifted his gaze over her shoulder towards the band, who were preparing to raise the noise level of the mellow background music they’d played during dinner.

  Lucy took a deep breath and tried to direct the conversation at Gabriel, to take the spotlight away from her. She hadn’t talked to him about relationships since the night she’d mentioned Alison. ‘Did you think any more about settling down yourself, Gabe?’ she asked. ‘Looking for Miss Right? You can’t carry on for ever, you know, the eternal bachelor. One day you’ll meet the right person. Settle down, have kids…’

  A shadow crossed his face and he still didn’t look at her, watching the band playing behind her. ‘Maybe I already have met her,’ he said, eventually. Then he stood up purposefully. ‘Come on. You can’t come to a ball and not dance.’ He held out his hand.

  ‘You know I can’t dance, Gabriel,’ she protested. ‘Two left feet, that’s me.’

  ‘Rubbish! Just hang on and follow me. No one here really knows what they’re doing anyway.’

  After a moment she smiled and gave in. It was dark after all. She’d had a few drinks and the band were playing ‘Moon River’. The perfect tempo for someone like her. All you needed to do was sway a bit and you were there. She took his hand and let him lead her as he picked their way through the couples on the floor. She caught her breath as he slid one arm firmly around her waist and entwined her hand in his.

  She picked the conversation back up where they’d left it. After the night when they’d looked after Steven, she knew now he wouldn’t bite her head off if she mentioned his past. ‘You can’t carry on letting what happened with Alison affect you for the rest of your days, Gabe.’ He was holding her hand tightly but she still managed to free a finger and point it at him. ‘I should know that better than anyone after the last week or so. Who’d have thought I could see a future with my parents back in it? I know it’s hard but sometimes you have to let go of the past and move on. For years I thought I had moved on but it turned out I was dragging all that baggage along with me. Ignoring it instead of really sorting it out. I’m actually lighter now. I really am.’

  For a moment Gabriel said nothing, and without talk to distract her she became acutely aware of how close he was to her. She could feel the hard muscles of his thighs, strong from all that rugby in his youth and from the gym now, hard against her own through the thin silk of the dress. He let go of her hand and moved it around her to join the other one, pulling her even tighter to him. She rested her hand against his chest, acutely aware of the breadth of his shoulders, the strength of his arms encircling her. His breath was warm against her hair as he spoke.

  ‘When I said I’d already met her, I wasn’t talking about Alison,’ he said.

  He pulled back from her far enough so he could look clearly and deliberately into her face. The words, the way he’d spoken them, full of meaning, resonated in her mind. She felt as if the moment lasted minutes, not seconds. Every nerve ending in her body was totally aware and fine tuned. Every touch of his body against hers sent dizzying sparks to her stomach, her heart, her mind. The touch of his fingers lightly stroked her bare spine, the other hand folded tightly around her waist so as to hold her close against him. His aftershave, woody and spicy, filled her senses and she felt literally weak at the knees, as if she might suddenly fold into a puddle on the floor.

  ‘Gabe…’ she tried to say. She wasn’t sure herself what words she would follow his name with. His name filled her mind leaving no room for anything else. He leaned slowly forward and his mouth perfectly caught the curve of hers. His grip tightened on her as if he wanted never to let her go. The music filled the room but the band could have been playing anything or nothing at all. She took none of it in. There was nothing but the feel, the smell, the touch, the taste of him. There could have been a million people in the room, but for her there was no one else but them. Nothing else but this kiss.

  As they broke gently apart he didn’t speak or even look at her, he simply held her close against him and continued to move gently. For Lucy it was as if the music had suddenly been turned back up. With a jolt she became aware of the room again, the people, the sounds. And her mind suddenly had room for everything else. What the hell was she doing? How could she have allowed this to happen? Where was her resolve? She felt a wave of sudden anguished guilt. Ed had been right to be suspicious of her. Poor Ed, how could she behave so badly towards him? The man she was supposed to love. And Gabriel. Their friendship. What damage had they gone and done? The thought smashed into her mind, chasing out all the warmth, all the delight from moments before. She pushed Gabriel away from her, eyes wide, rubbing her hand across her mouth as she did so, as if she could erase what had just happened, go back to the way they were before.

  She saw his eyes widen, a worried expression surfacing, but she wouldn’t allow herself to stay and see more.

  ‘Gabe, I’m sorry, this isn’t right. I… I have to go,’ she said finally and turned before she could give him any chance to speak. Whatever he had to say she didn’t want to hear. The damage they had just done to their friendship. How could she have let it get this far? She must have been giving him unconscious signals. What would he expect now—a three-week fling? She wasn’t about to waste the last twenty-three years on that. There was only one thing to do to try and save the situation and that was get some serious distance between them. Right now. She ran from the ballroom, down the stairs and into the darkness, leaving Gabriel s
tanding alone in the middle of the dance floor.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  GABRIEL stood outside the hotel and pushed an exasperated hand through his hair. Where the hell had Lucy gone? He looked left and right but the road in both directions was empty except for parked cars vaguely visible in the streetlights. She must have found a taxi from somewhere. It was beginning to rain but he was oblivious to it as it soaked his hair and dampened his designer suit. What the hell had he gone and done now?

  He hadn’t meant to kiss her; he truly hadn’t. From the moment she’d stepped out of her front door earlier he’d had to keep himself on constant guard to hide his attraction and he’d been doing a pretty good job, if he said so himself. It was the dancing. He should never have asked her to dance but he hadn’t liked the way the conversation was going and it had been all he could think of to do to divert her and stop her talking. He’d known the instant her body was against his that he had no hope left. He rubbed his fingers slowly across his lips as if he could still taste her on them. The softness of her skin under his hands and the delicious scent of her hair had removed all the control he’d had in place. The thin fabric of her dress had meant he could feel every contour of her body against his. The kiss had been the most natural, most right and perfect moment of intimacy he could ever remember having. And now he’d screwed it up.

  He turned and walked back into the ballroom to make his excuses and leave, walking the perimeter of the room to try and avoid one of his ex-girlfriends, who was making a beeline for him. He needed desperately to think. One thing was certain though. The way he felt right now he wasn’t going to let her go. Not without a fight.

  Lucy let herself into her flat with shaking fingers. Her curls were damp and beginning to frizz from the rain. For one awful moment she wondered if Ed would be there waiting for her but the place was quiet and in darkness. She heaved a sigh of relief.

  She was shaking all over. The combination of the freezing weather and the after effects of that kiss. She’d never felt such an acute physical response to anyone before. She’d been powerless to stop it. She was staggered by just how right it had felt. Especially when her head had been—and still was—telling her constantly that the whole thing was totally wrong.