by Chris Taylor
“Thank you, Moira. I’ll be right out.”
* * *
Josie watched Daniel from out of the corner of her eye and made notes on the pad in front of her. She was a little surprised to discover he’d come to the clinic alone. He looked drawn and tired and defeated—and who could blame him? The past month since the attack couldn’t have been easy.
What had the school yard been like? Was he teased? Did they ask him questions he didn’t want to answer? Or had the attitude of his fellow students been more supportive, like the people of the town?
Knowing the townspeople were behind him may have helped restore his flagging spirits, but nothing would change what had happened that ill fated evening. No one could turn back time.
“How’s your mother?” she asked quietly.
“I dunno. She’s all right, I guess.”
“Do you know if she’s been seeing anyone, a counselor?”
He shrugged and stared at the floor. “Maybe. She spends an awful lot of time in bed. I dunno how she can stay in that room. I can’t go anywhere near it.”
Josie closed her eyes briefly against the sorrow his words evoked and continued making notes.
“How did you get here today, Daniel? Did your mother bring you in?”
“No, Dad did. He said Mom wasn’t up to it.”
“Well, thank you for coming in. I really appreciate it.”
“You need to see me to write your report. Isn’t that what you said? You said you’d write a report that would make them see they’d have to drop the case.”
She stared at the earnestness on his face and her heart broke a little more. She had to make him understand it wasn’t as simple as that.
“I do need to see you so that I can write the court report, but it’s not up to me to decide. The judge will listen to arguments from the prosecutor and from your lawyer. It’s then up to the judge to decide.”
His eyes blazed with anger. “Then why am I here? If what you say doesn’t matter, what’s the point of rehashing it all? Do you think I enjoy reliving it? Remembering what I saw?”
“No, of course not,” she replied calmly. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be.”
“You’re damn right it’s hard! Every time I close my eyes I can see him with my mom. I run to the shed and I get the gun, but this time I can’t find any ammunition. It’s not where Dad left it. I look around the shed, but it’s dark and I end up turning in circles. I hear Mom screaming, shouting for me to help. I know what that man’s doing to her and I just want to make him stop.”
His breath came hard and fast. His eyes were wide with fear. Josie fought against the urge to take him in her arms and soothe the pain away. She had a job to do and she had to see it through.
“What was he doing to your mom, Daniel?”
“He was… He was raping her! He had his pants down around his knees. Her nightgown was all bunched up. What the hell do you think he was doing?”
“It was wrong, wasn’t it, Daniel?”
“Of course it was wrong! He was hurting her. He was hurting my mom.” His voice caught on a sob and once again, Josie struggled against the urge to offer him comfort.
“You decided to get the gun.”
“Yes, it was the only way I could think of to make him stop.”
“You knew where the gun was? You knew where your dad kept the bullets?”
“Yes! Yes! I’m with my dad all the time when he goes to the gun safe. We shoot rabbits and crows and kangaroos. Sometimes we go to the rifle range and shoot at targets.”
“You knew the combination to the safe. You knew which gun to choose. Did you load it with ammunition?”
“Of course I did. I couldn’t have shot him without it.”
“So you went for the gun, knowing you were going to shoot him?”
“Yes, are you stupid? I had to make him stop. I was the man of the house. Dad told me I was responsible for Jason and my mom. The man was way too big to tackle and I had nothing to hit him with. All I could think of was getting the gun.”
“When you loaded the gun and brought it back into the house, did you still intend to use it?”
“Of course I did!” he shouted. “Haven’t you been listening? There was no other way to make him stop.”
“So you went back into your mom’s bedroom and the man was still there. What did you do, Daniel?”
“I lifted the rifle to my shoulder and I looked through the scope. I put the crosshairs on him.”
“Where did you aim, Daniel?”
He paused and stared straight at her, his eyes hard. “I aimed for the back of his head.”
“Did you know that it might kill him?”
Daniel scoffed mirthlessly. “Of course I did. I’ve shot rabbits. I’ve shot kangaroos. I know what happens when they take a bullet. They darn well don’t get up.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
He stood suddenly and leaned forward over her desk, his face only inches from hers. “I wanted him to stop. And he did.”
Josie remained where she was and held his wild stare. Slowly, the tension left his body and he crumpled back onto the seat.
After awhile, she spoke again, her voice soft and gentle. “Is killing someone wrong, Daniel?”
He gave her a jerky nod.
“Are we allowed to go around killing people?”
“No,” he responded, just as quietly.
“What should we do if someone is doing something wrong, like breaking the law?”
Daniel drew in a deep breath and let it out on a heavy sigh. He slumped forward and covered his face with his hands. His voice came out muffled when he finally replied. “We call the police.”
“Why didn’t you call the police, Daniel?”
“I live twenty-five miles from town!” he cried in a voice that broke her heart. “It would have been too late. Don’t you understand anything?”
“Do you think it was wrong to kill that man?”
“Yes, it was wrong, but I bloody well don’t regret it. He was hurting my mom and I had to make him stop.” He looked up and stared at her, his expression coldly determined. “I’d do it again if I had to.”
CHAPTER TEN
Josie added another coat of red lipstick with a hand that wasn’t quite steady. A quick glance at the clock on her nightstand showed her it was nearly seven o’clock. With a ten-minute drive into Watervale, if she didn’t hurry up, she’d be late. With a final swipe of the brush through her long blond hair, she collected her handbag off the kitchen table and headed out the door.
Chase had given her directions to The Bullet and on the dot of seven, she pulled into the car park adjacent to the bar. She was surprised at the number of vehicles already there. It was relatively early and a week night at that and yet the parking lot was brimming with cars, mostly pick-ups and SUVs. Her father’s sleek, little Mustang stood out in the crowd.
Slinging her handbag over her shoulder, she climbed out of the car and picked her way across the loose gravel that covered the lot, cursing the four-inch red heels she’d slipped on to complement her short, form-fitting dress. Its white cotton fabric gleamed almost iridescent blue in the dark which was broken by the fluorescent lighting interspersed throughout the car park.
Smoothing her hands down the sides of her dress, she flipped her loose hair off her face and tried to quell her nerves. It wasn’t like she was meeting Chase for a date, for heaven’s sake. She had no right being nervous. They were friends from the past. They were catching up. Nothing less, nothing more.
But, try as she might, she couldn’t get the idea that it was kind of a date out of her mind. He’d asked her to meet him for a drink. They had a history, a romantic history. They’d been much, much more than friends. Her heart took flight alongside her thoughts and no amount of self-talk would bring them to a halt.
With a sigh of acceptance, she let her spirits soar and opened her heart more than a little to all the possibilities that lay ahead. A smile widened her lips until
she was grinning hard. The weight of the world and of the past month in particular lifted from her shoulders. Chase was inside, waiting for her. All of a sudden, she was overwhelmed with anticipation and hope.
* * *
Chase glanced surreptitiously at his watch and looked across to the doorway that led inside The Bullet. He’d been at the bar for the last half an hour, passing the time with the same girl he’d given the brush off a fortnight before. Her name was Lucy and she was a beauty therapist at one of the day spas in town. He’d learned she was twenty-three and had dropped out of school at sixteen. She’d never wanted to do anything more than paint pretty pictures on people’s nails. Next on her list was to get married and have babies.
She’d shared all of this in a matter of minutes in a breathy, little-girl voice he imagined she thought he’d find sexy. He didn’t. It was irritating him to the point of madness. Or maybe it was her inane chatter that was driving him crazy. He grimaced.
His foul mood had nothing to do with the annoying young thing beside him. It did however, have everything to do with what he was about to do with her. The very thought of it had him on edge.
He’d noticed the way Josie had looked her fill at the pool while she’d hidden behind her goggles. She’d all but licked her lips. Not that he minded—hell, he’d loved every minute of it—but it was further proof that the spark that had always been there would take very little to reignite.
He couldn’t let it happen.
The heavy wooden door to The Bullet swung open and Chase caught a flash of spun gold. Josie stepped into the dimness and paused, waiting for her eyes to adjust. Chase’s gut twisted inside and out, but he knew if he didn’t act now, no matter how much his heart cried out against it, he’d be leading Josie toward huge disappointment and far away from the future she desperately wanted and deserved.
Spinning around, he grabbed hold of Lucy and drew her hard against him. He covered her mouth and swallowed her gasp and kissed her for as long as he could manage. After her initial surprise, the girl melted against him. Reaching up, she held onto his head and kept his mouth on hers long after he wanted to end it.
She pressed herself against him until every inch of her was plastered along his front. His body instinctively reacted to her nearness, even as his mind rebelled. Knowing he had to see it through and make it look convincing, he cupped her ass and lifted her until she was snug against his crotch. She growled low in her throat and he inwardly winced and prayed that it would soon be over.
Surely Josie had spotted them by now? The bar was fairly crowded, but not impossibly so. He didn’t know how much longer he could put up with Lucy’s tongue down his throat without gagging.
His answer came soon enough when a pitcher of iced water was dumped all over his head. He gasped and blinked and Lucy yelped. They both turned to stare at Josie.
“You asshole. How dare you!”
Her eyes spit fire and anger suffused her cheeks. She’d never looked more beautiful. One tear, then another slid down her face and Chase was shredded with agony. He turned away, unable to bear the sight of her pain—pain he was responsible for, yet again.
He convinced himself it was for the best and then he tried to remember why. She wanted children, remember? She deserved to live her dream, just not with him. That’s what had pushed him to such drastic action, to carry out such a despicable act. Even now, it was obvious how much she cared. He knew her well, and she wouldn’t react with so much hurt and anger if her feelings for him had died so many years ago.
He ought to be floating on cloud nine, knowing that she still felt something for him and he would have, if her lifelong yearning for children had disappeared, even diminished. But it hadn’t. So he wasn’t.
Chase had seen her with Daniel. He’d noticed the special way she had with him, her natural ability to offer him comfort. She loved kids. She always had. Riley had even confirmed it.
The one thing she wanted and longed for, was the one thing he could never give her, no matter how much he wished he could. It was never going to happen. The cancer had seen to that.
* * *
Josie thought she knew what devastation felt like, but what she’d felt a decade ago didn’t come close to the torture she was suffering right now. How could he? How could he have invited her for a drink and then have her find him locking lips with a woman who looked like she was on the prowl?
He’d known Josie was coming. They’d even agreed on a time. He also knew she was punctual. It was almost as if he’d planned it…
She shook her head in a whirlpool of uncertainty and confusion. None of it made sense. All she knew for certain was that Chase Barrington didn’t deserve her tears. Not back then and definitely not now.
She shook her head again. If he hadn’t wanted to renew their relationship, why hadn’t he been forthcoming from the beginning and simply said so? Why invite her here tonight and rub salt in old wounds…and so callously at that?
She groaned aloud and stabbed her car key viciously into the slot. Turning it hard, she pulled the car into gear the minute the engine caught. Spinning her tires, gravel flying every which way into the night, she sped out of the parking lot. It was reckless and would probably chip the paint off someone else’s car, but at that moment, she simply didn’t care.
Hot tears blinded her and she angrily swiped them away. She was through crying over Detective Sergeant Chase Barrington. With grim determination, she vowed he would never hurt her again.
Thank goodness she’d almost managed to finish her report. When she was done, she’d deliver it to the prosecutor’s office herself. After all, he was the one who required it, not Chase. There would be no need for her to ever spend another minute in Chase Barrington’s company again.
At least, until the trial. If there were a trial.
All of a sudden, the stress of the past month caught up with her. Her shoulders slumped and her breath hitched in despair. Though she willed it away, a sob tightened her chest and escaped through her tightly compressed lips and then, like a dam bursting, it was quickly followed by another and another until the road in front of her was blurred from a deluge of hot tears.
No matter how much she wished it were different, there was no escaping two facts: Chase Barrington was an asshole and Daniel Logan had the capacity to stand trial.
It was clear to her that at the time of the offense, the young boy knew what he was doing was wrong. He meant to shoot the intruder and he meant for the man to die. She was convinced he’d do exactly the same thing again, given similar circumstances. Against her emotional inclinations to find a way to get him off, it was her duty to inform the court.
Chase was the officer in charge of the case. There would be no avoiding him come the trial. But that could be months away. For now, she’d keep out of his way. She’d go back to the place she’d begun to think of as home and spend some time licking her wounds. And then she’d come back stronger than ever and Chase Barrington could go to hell. She’d survived his rejection once; she knew darn well she could survive it again.
As the lights of her cottage came into view, she let her anger build. Anger was good. Anger was great. It gave her something concrete to focus on. If she spent too much time thinking about what had just happened, she’d splinter into a million pieces and she flat-out refused to allow that to happen. She’d been there once before. It wasn’t pretty.
* * *
Chase finished the bottle of scotch and stared out into the quiet night from his position on the balcony of his condo. Despite the late hour and the impressive amount of alcohol he’d consumed, his brain wouldn’t let him rest. No, tonight it played a tortuous game, replaying the scene with Josie over and over again. No matter how hard he fought to push the images into oblivion, he couldn’t escape them.
Her anger, confusion, shock and utter devastation were so clearly imprinted on his mind that no amount of alcohol would get rid of them.
And he was the one totally and utterly responsible for her pain
and broken dreams. The knowledge pierced his heart and while he would forever regret every moment of her pain at the bar, he still felt that he’d had no choice.
As soon as Josie had cleared the room, he’d disentangled himself from Lucy. She’d blinked hard. Her surprise and confusion had quickly turned to anger when he told her he was leaving. Her slap across his cheek had stung, but it was nothing less than he deserved.
He was a jerk, a cad, an utter prick. He didn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy or understanding. He deserved to be alone, unloved and unhappy. Tears burned behind his eyes.
In weak moments, his youthful dreams of a normal life haunted him. As Josie did… No, never again could he go there.
Once again, he cursed the cancer that had taken root in his cells a decade ago and forever changed his life. He’d gone from a nineteen-year-old man with the world at his feet to a boy who was scared and confused. The future he’d dreamed of with the girl that he loved had vaporized before his eyes. Instead, words such as malignancy, chemo and oncology ward became part of his everyday life.
He’d discovered the lumps in his testicles six months before Josie’s graduation. They hadn’t given him any trouble and seemed more of an anomaly than anything else. It was only during the physical drills required throughout his police training that one of them became annoying. It rubbed and chafed and was sometimes downright irritating, but it hadn’t caused him pain. That was the reason he ignored them for so long.
Away in Goulburn, at the Academy and with end-of-year exam pressure looming, his visits home had become fewer and further apart. He ached every night he spent away from her, but he didn’t have a choice. She was busy too, immersed in her final exams and he needed to get through his course. He wanted to build a future for both of them and for that, he was willing to make sacrifices.
When Josie asked him to be her date for her high school graduation, the lumps were suddenly the last thing on his mind. He spent every leisure hour planning every minute of their night. It more than lived up to his expectations.
