The Defendant

by Chris Taylor

  They’d stopped at a local department store and had purchased a few necessary items: pajamas, toothbrushes and a change of clothes. Josie had chosen not to return to their farmhouse and hoped what she’d purchased would be enough to see them through until Belinda could make alternative arrangements.

  To her relief, Jason nodded and climbed out of the car. Josie followed suit. Together, they carried the sacks of clothes and other items into the cottage. Daniel ignored them, steadfastly staring out the window. Josie’s heart broke anew at the anguish on his face, but knew the best thing to do was to leave him alone.

  He’d been through so many traumatic experiences in such a short time and hadn’t received near enough professional help to deal with all of it. She’d done her best from the beginning, but she’d been brought in not as a counselor, but as a servant of the court. Her role in his life had not been to offer him help, but to decide whether he was capable of answering for his actions. As far as she knew, he hadn’t seen anyone for him; he hadn’t been given any strategies to help him heal.

  Well, for now the legal system could be damned. She’d done what was asked of her and submitted her report. No one could accuse her of bias if she offered him her support now. There was no way she could stand by and watch his pain and desolation ravage him like a disease and simply ignore it.

  All her life, she’d wanted to help children. She’d studied child psychology with that single goal in mind. She’d grown up in a safe and secure, happy household, but wasn’t immune to the fact that plenty of children didn’t. One of her best friends in the fourth grade went through a terrible time when her parents divorced. Josie could still remember how Annie Faraday would cry herself sick in the bathroom each lunch time, recalling events that had happened at home. Josie’s heart would break, right alongside her friend’s. She’d done all she could to make Annie feel better.

  It had given birth to a fierce determination to learn how to offer help; to somehow, in some small way, develop skills to help other children get through painful situations such as these. And she’d done it. She’d graduated with a PhD in child psychology.

  Doctor Josie Munro, Child Psychologist. Her parents had been so proud. Josie had been eager to get out into the real world and make a difference.

  And then she’d taken the job in private practice and had begun to lose her way. In a way, she was grateful for the ruptured brain aneurysm her father suffered last Christmas. The shocking reminder of the fragility of life had woken her up with a jolt. She’d returned to Brisbane immediately after the festive season and had handed in her resignation. It had been fate and a whole lot of luck that a private health service in Watervale was looking for a child psychologist to open up a practice.

  And here she was, with a boy so damaged, she didn’t know if she could help him and another boy who needed her almost as much. Jason might not have suffered through the same trauma Daniel had, but he’d suffered just the same. No one could experience the death of their mother, let alone by suicide and not bear some deep and penetrating scars. Josie was just glad he was still able to talk about it, even a little. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something. She could tell Daniel hadn’t come that far.

  Swallowing a sigh, Josie pulled the last of the sacks from the trunk, these ones containing the makings of dinner, and halted alongside Daniel’s window. Setting the grocery sacks on the ground beside the car, she squatted down until they were at eye level. He immediately averted his gaze.

  “Hey, Daniel. It’s okay. I’m not going to pressure you to come inside. You stay out here for as long as you need to, all right? I’m going inside to make up a bed. There’s one for you and your brother. Then, I’m going to prepare dinner. I have cookies and milk in the kitchen if you’d like an afternoon snack. You just come in when you feel up to it, okay?”

  He gave her a jerky nod, but remained silent. Even so, Josie was relieved. Any communication was better than none. She stood and collected the sacks at her feet and began to walk away.

  “Josie?”

  The quiet cry brought her to a halt. Slowly, she turned around to face him. “Yes?”

  “Thanks.”

  Tears burned her eyes and she hurriedly blinked them away. He needed her strong, secure, impenetrable. She drew in a shaky breath and answered him. “That’s okay. Like I said, you come in when you’re ready.”

  * * *

  Chase turned into the driveway that led to the old Holloway place and was relieved when he saw the lights on in the cottage. After Riley revealed Josie had asked about him, he couldn’t get the idea out of his mind that he’d screwed up good and proper.

  Could he have been wrong to hide the truth from her, to not give her the opportunity to make up her own mind? At the time, he’d kept it a secret so that she didn’t feel obligated to stay. It felt like the right thing to do, even though it tore him apart.

  But he was desperately unhappy and she was still on her own. She’d asked about him. He was sure she still cared. Had his actions to push her away done nothing more than cause even more heartache for both of them? The thought saddened him.

  All afternoon, he’d wrestled with the idea of going out to visit her and had eventually given in. Whether it was a good idea or not, he no longer cared. He wanted to see her. He needed to see her. It was as simple and complex as that.

  She probably wouldn’t be happy to have him arrive on her doorstep. They’d mostly avoided one another at the barbeque, but he had a ready excuse if she wondered why he was showing up at her home. He only hoped she’d buy it.

  He pulled up in his unmarked police car next to her fully restored forest green Boss 351 Mustang. The car was unoccupied. A garage stood a little distance from the house, its door open. Curious as to why she hadn’t parked such a classic car under cover, he strode across the dirt track to the garage and stopped just inside the doorway.

  Inside the garage was dimly lit, but he could make out the silhouette of a TT600 Triumph Motorcycle with enough horsepower to make him catch his breath. He shook his head and whistled, impressed. Was it hers?

  The knowledge that he didn’t know for sure saddened him. They’d missed so much of each other’s lives over the years since they’d parted—years they could never get back.

  “What the hell are you doing? Why are you here?”

  Chase spun on his heel and faced Josie. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts, he hadn’t even heard her approach.

  “H-hi. Riley told me about the Logan boys. That…that you’ve taken them in for the night. I just came by to see if you needed anything. I can’t imagine you’re set up for a couple of kids.”

  Her gaze narrowed dangerously and he cursed under his breath. Why did he always say the stupidest things when he was around her? It was like he couldn’t help himself.

  “Why do you always say such stupid things?” she demanded, her eyes spitting fire in the dimness.

  So, they were still in sync in one way. He wanted to smile, but forced his lips still. Aggravating her further would be far from wise. Instead, he went for conciliatory.

  “I’m sorry, Josie. That came out wrong. What I meant was that, seeing as you don’t have any kids, I figured there might be something you needed. I came out to offer my help.”

  “How do you know I don’t have any kids?” Her tone was far from friendly.

  “Do you?”

  She folded her arms defensively across her chest. Chase tried not to notice how the action pressed her breasts upward into the open V of her blouse.

  “As a matter of fact, I don’t,” she answered. “Not that it’s any business of yours.”

  “You’re right, except that I happen to know you were asking about my status as a parent, so I guess that makes us even, right?”

  Even in the twilight, Chase could make out the dark blush that stained her cheeks. He’d bet a month’s pay on the fact that she’d like to be cursing her brother out something fierce right about now. He struggled to keep the grin off his face.

/>   “What do you want, Chase?” Her tone was slightly less aggressive.

  “Like I said, I just wanted to check that you were okay and that you didn’t need help with anything. It’s Daniel’s hearing tomorrow. That’s got to be rough on you all.”

  She stared at him a little longer, suspicion still lurking in her eyes. A long moment later, her shoulders slumped on a sigh. She threw her head back, her expression one of challenge.

  “Okay, Mr Good-doer, if you want to help, then help.” With that, she headed back to the house.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Josie left Chase standing in the dark and did her best to get her heart rate back under control. As if she didn’t have enough to deal with tonight without him showing up. They’d barely exchanged a handful of words at Riley’s barbeque and she hadn’t seen him since. While she wasn’t surprised he knew she was looking after the Logan boys, she never imagined he’d turn up on her doorstep, offering to help.

  From the look of his rumpled shirt and disheveled hair, he’d had a hard day at the office. The last thing he probably felt like was offering her his assistance, and yet he’d come. As much as she wanted to prevent it, she couldn’t help the warm spurt of pleasure and gratitude that had filled her when she realized why he had come.

  When she’d found him poking his head into her garage, she’d been mad. He had no right to know anything about her or the woman she’d become. He’d dumped her right after graduation. The fact that she’d discovered the thrill of riding fast motorcycles was of no concern to him and was absolutely none of his business. Just like she’d told him when he’d offered his quip about her kids—or lack of them.

  She had to concede he’d scored a point when he told her he knew about her conversation with Kate and she gritted her teeth and cursed Riley to hell. She was certain her brother had been Chase’s source of information. She should have just kept her mouth shut, pretended a total lack of interest in Kate’s obvious attempts at matchmaking and darn—she’d nearly managed it. If only she hadn’t asked about whether or not he had kids.

  Swallowing a sigh, she opened the door that led onto the front porch. It was too late, now. What was done was done. She had two real kids to deal with and if she were honest, she was grateful for Chase’s help. She may have been trained in child psychology, but the reality of seeing to the needs of the boys was a little overwhelming, even if it was just for the night.

  “Watch the step,” she muttered, knowing he probably wouldn’t see the loose floorboard in the dark. He murmured his thanks and she held the screen door open for him.

  “If you could help set up the beds, I’d really appreciate it,” she said and then walked into the house. Chase followed behind her.

  “Sure. Where are they?”

  “Down the hall, second room on the left. The owner left a little furniture in the place. Unfortunately, the spare beds need to be assembled. Riley helped put mine together when I first arrived, but I wasn’t expecting visitors quite so soon.”

  “It’ll be quicker if we do it together. You can hold onto one end and I’ll hold the other.”

  Josie inclined her head and nodded. “All right. Just let me see to the boys and check on dinner. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

  She found both boys seated on the couch in the living room, watching something on the television. Daniel’s expression was sad but stoic. At least he appeared more in the present than he had in the car. Jason gave a slight chuckle at something on the TV and Josie’s heart tightened. At least one of them had the ability to laugh, to be a little carefree. She only hoped that Daniel would make it back to that state of mind again and that his spirit hadn’t been damaged forever.

  After letting the boys know about Chase’s arrival, she checked the contents of the oven and then returned to the spare room where Chase was assembling the spare beds. She stole a few moments watching him from the doorway.

  He worked with focused determination, his hands as confident with tools as they’d been when he’d touched her body. She chastised herself for letting her thoughts wander to places they shouldn’t go. Straightening her shoulders, she entered the room.

  “Something smells good,” he said with a smile.

  She shrugged, a little embarrassed. “It’s just fish and chips and I’ve thrown together a salad. I wasn’t sure what the boys liked and I wanted to keep it simple.”

  “Fish and chips sounds good to me.” As if only just realizing what he’d said, Chase blushed profusely.

  “Um…I’m sorry, Josie. I didn’t mean to invite myself to dinner. I just meant… Most kids like fish and chips.”

  Memories of the two of them lying on the beach during that last summer, with a box of fish and chips between them, flooded through her. It had been one of their favorite things to do. Chase would drive over to Grafton from Watervale early on a Saturday morning. She’d tell her parents she was going to the mall with her friends and would then meet him at the bus stop. They’d spend the day together, swimming, surfing and sharing their dreams and eating fish and chips.

  She looked at him and could tell he was remembering that time as well. An awkward silence fell between them before Chase eventually broke it.

  “If you give me a hand, I’ll have these beds put together in no time and I can get out of your hair. I’ll leave you to your dinner.”

  Knowing she was probably going to regret it, but wanting him to stay, Josie blurted, “No, don’t rush off. Stay for dinner.” She indicated the half-assembled bed in his hands. “It’s the least I can do.”

  Chase stared at her, his expression way too solemn. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. There’s plenty to go around. I’ll set an extra place at the table.”

  Josie noticed her voice had risen, but there was nothing she could do about it. Without another word, she turned and left the room and took refuge in the kitchen. Forcing a few deep breaths into her lungs, she opened a drawer and pulled out another setting for the table.

  * * *

  Chase tightened the last bolt on the second single bed and stood, stretching out the muscles that had cramped while he’d been assembling the furniture. Josie hadn’t made another appearance and he’d finished the job to the sound of her banging around in the kitchen. It was such an everyday, mundane sound, it shouldn’t have affected him like it did, but he couldn’t help it. Knowing she was just down the hall making dinner warmed him all the way through.

  It should have been their home, their kids, their bed he’d been assembling. She should have been his wife. That’s the way they’d planned it, before life intervened; before cancer raised its ugly head and everything went to shit.

  Years later, the injustice of it still angered him, even when he’d learned to let it go. He was alive and back in good health. It was more than some people were granted. A lot more.

  Shaking off his ingratitude, he picked up the mattresses where they were stacked against the wall and put one on each bed. At least the Logan boys would be comfortable tonight. He assumed Josie had enough bed linen.

  Collecting the Allen key he’d used to assemble the beds, he left the room and made his way into the kitchen. The smell wafting from the oven made his stomach grumble and he was reminded how long it had been since he’d eaten his store-bought chicken salad sandwich at lunch time.

  Josie caught sight of him standing in the doorway and smiled. His heart somersaulted. He glanced behind him in an effort to distract himself and noticed Daniel and Jason on the couch in the living room.

  “Um, I was wondering if you have any bed linen? Sheets and that kind of thing? I’ll make up the beds, if you like.”

  “Oh, you’re finished. I’m sorry, I meant to come back and help.”

  Chase brushed away her apology. “It’s fine. All done now. All except the sheets.”

  “Yes, the sheets. Right. I have some in the linen closet, left over from when I was at college. The closet’s in the hall, just before you get to the spare bedroom. I’m just about
to serve up dinner. I’ll get the boys to help you.”

  She wiped her hands on a cloth and Chase stepped aside to let her pass. Her perfume drifted toward him and he did his best not to think about how sweet and familiar it smelled, even after all the years. He heard her speaking to the children in the next room and a moment later they appeared.

  “Daniel, do you remember Detective Barrington?” The boy glanced at him and then quickly looked away.

  “Yes,” he murmured. “You’re the one who charged me.”

  Josie tactfully ignored Daniel’s comment and turned to his brother. “Jason, this is Detective Barrington. I’m not sure if the two of you have met.”

  Jason stuck out his hand and Chase shook it.

  “Were you at the house with my mom, Detective Barrington?” the younger boy asked.

  Chase nodded, his expression somber. “Yes, mate. I was. You probably saw me there. And please, call me Chase. I’m here as a friend.”

  Josie flashed him a grateful smile. “Chase came out to see if we needed any help. He’s put your beds together in the spare room. If you’d like to help him make them up, I’ll serve dinner.”

  She turned and went back into the kitchen and Chase walked down the hall. He found the linen closet and pulled out two sets of single bed sheets and a couple of pillow cases and handed them to the boys. Spare pillows were stacked high on a shelf, along with extra blankets and he reached up above his head and snagged two of each.

  A small calico cushion bounced out and hit him on the head. He leaned down and picked it up and realized what it was. His heart pounded. It was the cushion Josie used to bring with her to the beach. They’d lain together, side by side, with their heads sharing the small, soft mound. One day, she’d produced a permanent marker and had drawn two love hearts intertwined. She’d added their names and more love hearts around the side.

  Chase turned the cushion over and found what he was looking for. The words Chase loves Josie were exactly where he’d written them. The moment in time when he’d put them there was forever emblazoned on his mind. She’d turned to him and kissed him softly on the mouth. “I love you too,” she’d whispered.