Blissful Vol. 1

by Clarissa Wild

  “I’ve known that little squirt since she was born,” Ben says.

  Jack steps forward. “Hey Ben,” Jack says.

  They shake hands, and Jack takes the piece of straw from his mouth.

  Ben’s bushy brows lower. “You’re lucky. If you’d been thirty minutes earlier, it wouldn’t be here yet.”

  Jack peeks over his shoulder. “Oh, really? So you have it?”

  “Sure do.” The man lets out a roaring laugh.

  “Awesome.”

  I walk farther, but stay behind Jack, because I don’t want to intrude on their conversation. Ben glances at me and then whispers to Jack, but I can still hear him. “Who’s that beauty over there? Your new gal?”

  My cheeks grow red again, and I try to hide my face in my coat.

  “What? No, that’s Amy. Her car broke down, so now I’m fixing it,” Jack stutters. The way he instantly denies any existence of a crush makes me feel icy cold.

  Ben laughs again, looking at me. “Ahhh. You’re playing the good Samaritan again. I can see Rose’s ideas still have a hold on you.”

  Jack sighs. “Ben …”

  He chuckles and pats Jack on the shoulder. “I’m just messing with ya, kid. Aren’t you gonna introduce me?”

  Jack turns around and looks at me. I can see his cheeks are rosy. He holds out his hand and beckons me to step forward, and I do. His hand slides along my back as he pulls me closer. His touch feels like heaven.

  “Meet Amy,” he says, and focuses on Ben again.

  Ben gives me his hand and says, “Ben Jones. Pleasure to meet ya.”

  “Amy Brooks. Likewise.”

  “So … ready to check out the beauty?” Ben says to Jack.

  “What?” I stammer.

  “The engine,” Jack says, rolling his eyes.

  “Oh.”

  Jack turns to Madeline who was playing with a plastic wrapper, and he picks her up from the floor. “Stay here, Maddy. Don’t go anywhere and don’t touch anything,” Jack says, and he sits her down on a tiny table filled with toys. “Daddy will be right back.”

  She continues playing as if she never stopped.

  “Want to come look?” Jack says. “I mean, it’s for your car after all.”

  “Well … I have no clue what you guys are doing or what you’re talking about, so it’s not of much use. I’d only be in the way.”

  Jack shrugs. “Suit yourself.” He walks off into the garage with Ben.

  I watch them talk and laugh, checking out the engine as if it’s some sort of intricate designer thing. I don’t care, as long as he gets my car running again I’m happy.

  I stroll around the store and pick up random things I find, checking to see if I can identify what they are. It’s like a fantasy land to me, only one that’s very uninteresting, dull and greasy. I grab a screwdriver, but it’s so heavy I immediately put it down again. I fumble with some more junk, something that blows out cold air, and I read all the packaging on the bottles. I have no clue what the hell they say. Whatever.

  Playing with Maddy is probably more exciting than this.

  When I turn around I bump into Jack’s chest.

  Oh, my god. My face is on his chest. His broad, muscular chest. And I can hear his heart through his shirt. It’s beating faster and faster.

  I raise my head, and his smoldering eyes find mine. They mesmerize me so much I’m numb and speechless.

  “Ready to go?” he says.

  I nod, my mouth still open.

  He laughs and turns around, leaving me standing there alone. It takes me a few seconds to catch my breath, before I go after him. He’s making Madeline say goodbye to the toys on the table, but she doesn’t like it. Her pouty lip and frown say she doesn’t want to leave.

  “We’ll visit Uncle Ben again soon. I promise.”

  Damn, he sure says that a lot. Promises, promises.

  “We’re done here already?” I ask.

  “Yeah. Ben’s putting the engine in the back of my truck as we speak.”

  “Wonderful. Thank you.”

  Jack smiles and picks up crying Madeline. Walking after him, I feel my phone buzz, and I take it out of my pocket. We’re out on the street, but I’m not paying attention. Nicole texted me that she’s sorry and that she wants to talk, and I’m typing up a message.

  “Look out!” Jack yells.

  Without a warning his hand is clutching my chest, shoving me back up the curb. I don’t see it coming. My body is pushed back, and my fingers can’t hold onto the cell phone anymore. It drops down and into a gutter. I squeal.

  Car tires screech, and a car shoots by us. Jack throws some curse words into the distance, but both of us know the driver is long gone.

  “My phone!” I scream.

  I get to my knees and overcome my fear for dirt. Prying my fingers through the bar, I try to fish up my phone, but I have no luck. It’s slipping farther and farther away, until I can no longer reach it. Then it disappears from sight.

  Jack leans closer, but after throwing me a quick glance, he stands up again. He holds out his hand for me, and I take it. “Fuck!”

  “I’m sorry, Amy. That asshole was coming so close I had to get you to safety.”

  I sniff, saying goodbyes to my phone in my head. I was just texting back Nicole. Now I can’t even contact her anymore. Shit. I broke up with my boyfriend, cancelled a marriage, left my home, traveled too far to recognize anything, my car is busted, and now my phone is gone, too. Can it get any worse?

  He sighs, his head between his shoulders, as if he’s regretting what he did.

  “Thanks,” I say, to make him feel better. He saved me after all. I don’t want him to feel like shit, even if I do. It’s not his fault. I should’ve paid attention.

  “Hey, you’ll get a new phone eventually. It’s only stuff. Stuff you can replace. You’re still alive. Unscathed. That’s more important,” Jack says.

  “Yeah, I know,” I say.

  Meanwhile, Madeline is bawling her eyes out. She’s sitting on the curb, probably scared to death by what happened. Jack gets to his knees and grabs her tiny hands. “Hey, hey, don’t cry. It’s okay. Look at me.” He peers underneath her fuzzy hair. “Tell you what. Let’s go get some ice cream. Would you like that? Want some ice cream, huh?”

  Her face instantly lights up, and the tears disappear as if they were never there. It makes me chuckle a bit. Children are so easily distracted. I wish it worked that way with adults, too.

  Jack picks her up and checks the street thoroughly before putting down another foot.

  “Wanna come?” Jack says to me.

  “I guess.”

  “Ice cream will make you feel better. It always does.”

  “True. And otherwise I’ll have to wait until you guys finish it anyway, so we can go back. It’s not as if I have any other way out of here. Need my personal chauffeur to drive me back safely.”

  He laughs. “You’ve learned to retort quite fast these last couple of days.”

  “I’m learning from the master,” I say with a smirk on my face, which makes him laugh even more.

  We stop at the supermarket, and Jack points out a couple of ice creams, which I grab. After paying, I help Madeline unwrap hers, and she runs off to the car while Jack and I stroll right behind her.

  I glance at him, but burst out into laughter when I see his face. There’s a huge white blob of cream right on his cheek.

  He’s blinking, his brows furrowed. “What?”

  I gasp. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel that.”

  “Feel what?”

  I chuckle, grab his arm, and stop walking for a second. My fingers move on their own. My hand lifts up to his face and carefully wipes away the ice cream. I can feel his stubble underneath the pad of my finger. I don’t want to take my fingers off anymore, but I do because I must. Otherwise it looks weird and inappropriate.

  I put my finger into my mouth and quickly lick off the ice cream before cleaning my finger on my skirt.
/>   Jack gazes at me, his lips parted, forgetting the ice cream in his hand. I check his face for more, but it’s flawless. Perfect. Too perfect. Damn.

  He just keeps staring at me, completely frozen.

  “What?” I say, embarrassed. “You had ice cream on your face.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “Ah … nothing,” he stutters. His lips are pursed and his eyes are jittery. Did I do something wrong?

  I feel really embarrassed now.

  “Let’s get back to the car,” I say, in an attempt to diverge the conversation.

  “Ah … yeah, I guess,” he mutters.

  We walk back to the car in silence. He eats his ice cream pretty quickly, but I don’t dare touch mine. Every time his eyes are on me I feel as if I’m being watched. As if with each lick I take off the ice cream, he glances at me. I feel dirty.

  Well, the ice cream was good for something. Madeline’s not crying anymore, that’s a plus. And it made me forget about the phone. Temporarily. I cringe.

  Oh well, at least I’m away from all the drama now. Being here with Jack has renewed my energy, and I feel a lot less depressed, too. I don’t know if that’s because of the ice cream, or because of Jack.

  Chapter 7

  Jack

  Fuck, she just ate the ice cream off my face. When she put her finger into her mouth, I swear I could feel it in my cock. It was almost as if she was licking me. Goddamnit, why do I have all these fantasies? I can’t get my mind off her. I love to see her flaunt her ass as she walks away, makes me want to grab it, and when she bites her lip all I want to do is kiss her.

  Damn you, Jack! What the fuck is wrong with you? You’ve got Madeline to take care of, there’s no time to screw. Besides, Rose would never …

  I swallow as the car comes to a halt near my house. It’s just my cock playing with my head. It’s been so long since I was with a woman; all I can think about is wanting to touch her. But that’s not real. It’s not something to build on. It’s not what I need. Is it?

  She shuts the door and gets Madeline out of the car, while I take a breather. Shit, my cock is still twitching from the mere thought of her. How does she do this to me?

  It doesn’t matter. Fixing her car is the only thing that needs to be done. Soon she’ll be gone, and then I can get back to work as usual. Everything will be normal again. As normal as possible.

  “If you fix my car, I’ll make dinner, ‘kay?” she says, and she waves before going inside. I just sit there, waving back, like an idiot. Goddamn, I am an idiot.

  I get out of the car and slam the door behind me. I hate this. I hate not knowing what to do. I hate knowing what I want is impossible. That it will fail, no matter how hard I’d try. I feel like an animal and it’s making me pissed. All I can think about is having her, feeling her, holding her, pumping into her. It’s as if my cock is the boss of me.

  But I don’t want to be like this. I can’t just have sex. That’s not how it works. Especially not with women. And especially not with one who just got her heart smashed into bits.

  They want love. They want a relationship. And before you know it you’re stuck for life. I don’t think I can make that commitment. At least not now. It’s too soon …

  I haul the engine off the truck and get to work. It’s the only thing I can do to get my mind straight.

  ***

  I’m lying under the car, checking if there are any loose bits I need to fix and seeing if there’s any residue or liquids. Pondering about her has slowed down my progress, though. I’ve been at it for hours getting this thing running again, and all I can think about is Amy.

  Her radiating eyes. Her full lips. Her curves. Her smile. Oh, the way she smiles.

  Shit, there I go again. My mind’s completely wandering off from time to time. Fuck, I feel like a love struck fool. Wait. Who am I kidding? This ain’t love. I’m only just getting to know her. I need to know her better before there’s any love. And that’s not going to happen any time soon. Within a day she’ll be gone and then there’s no more temptation.

  Temptation … hmm … my hands on her firm breasts while I suckle on her ear.

  Stop it! Stop it, Jack! Goddammit, fuck you. Fuck my fucking cock.

  Sighing, I plug in the wires I pulled out.

  She doesn’t need this right now. She deserves better than your fucking sex drive, Jack. She needs a man who can take care of her. Who’ll treat her right and love her. Some would say that could be me, but I know for sure I can’t. Not after what I’ve been through. I’m too damaged to love someone. Can’t love a girl when you can’t even love yourself.

  But I can’t stop thinking about wanting to make her happy. Make her feel appreciated, wanted. Make her want me. God, I want her.

  Why? I’ve never fallen for a girl this easy. This has got to be my libido. It can’t be that I’m already ready for someone new. No, I can’t. It’s not right. What would Rose think of me? I’m such a bastard.

  My hand curls up into a fist, and I stomp it on the floor beneath me. Fuck me.

  Thank god I’m done with this piece of shit. I can’t bear another minute of useless daydreaming.

  I roll up from under the car without looking. When I gaze up, all I see is panties. Short, thin, panties. Panties?

  Then I notice the skirt that’s around it and the legs underneath. Shit. Fuck!

  “Jack!” she screams. She steps back and crosses her legs, pressing them together.

  My face heats up as if there’s a fire nearby, and I clamber up from the floor. She turns around, shaking her head, her eyes widened. I hold up my hand in an attempt to calm her down.

  “I’m sorry, Amy,” I stammer, wiping my dirty hands on my jeans.

  “You looked under my skirt!” she squeals.

  “Yes, and I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were there. I was just getting done with your car.” That woman scares me some time. She really sneaked up on me, and now I have to deal with her anger. Damn it …

  “You didn’t know I was there? Bullshit.”

  “It’s the truth,” I say, frowning. Why is she making such a fuss about it? It’s only panties. Although … panties. Hmm … Pussy.

  “I bet you thought you could make nice use of the situation.”

  I shake my head when she speaks again, momentarily fazed by my own lusty thoughts.

  “What?”

  “Oh look, there’s Amy, let’s make her feel embarrassed by looking under her skirt.” She walks to the front door, but I go after her in my dirty boots.

  “Wait,” I say.

  “You’re just messing with me, Jack McCallister. I know your kind. Take a peek and then make fun of me, like they always do.”

  That’s it. I’ve had enough of this crap. I grab her wrist and twist her around. “That is not true.”

  “Oh, really?” she says, obviously not believing me.

  I come closer and gaze into her eye. “Yes, really. Look at me.” She avoids my eyes, staring at the floor with a pissed look on her face.

  “C’mon, Amy. Look at me.” She briefly glances at me, but somehow that brief glance sticks. “You see this?” I say, pointing at my eye. “Can you see I’m telling you the truth? These aren’t the eyes of a liar, and you know it. Tell me what you see.”

  She snorts and turns her face away. I come even closer, placing my hand on the wall beside her. Damn this girl and her infuriating behavior. Why does she have to piss me off every time? Again and again, she taunts me. It’s as if she gets off on it or something. She keeps luring out the bad in me and I can’t hold it back.

  “I’m sorry, all right? It just happened. It wasn’t intentional.”

  She sighs, not saying anything, but at least she looks at me again. Her eyes are full of hurt. I didn’t do it to her, but she sure thinks I did. She really is insecure. I wish she wasn’t and that she knew how beautiful she was. I wish she’d believe me.

  My finger goes up without me thinking about it. A strand of her hair caught my eye as I wa
s admiring her face. I brush it aside, careful not to touch her skin too much. I don’t want to upset her, but I can’t help caress her cheek.

  She looks so pretty. So vulnerable. Constantly pulling away, telling herself she’s not worth anything. I can see it in her eyes. She avoids the truth, because she doesn’t believe in it instead of facing it, no matter how scary it is.

  She’s not alone. I’m scared, too. Afraid what I want, what I desire, will kill me.

  But I need it.

  I put my hand on her shoulder. I lean closer and closer to her. Her flowery perfume is tantalizing, drawing me in. I want her. I need her to love me. For at least someone to love me. Love me as only a lover can.

  My mouth is almost on hers and I can imagine tasting her sweet lips. How I want those sweet lips to touch mine. To release me of my fears, if only for a little while. She closes her eyes and I can hear she hold her breath. She’s waiting for me to kiss her.

  But I can’t. I can’t do this. Not like this. It’s so wrong. I can’t do this to Madeline and certainly not to Rose.

  I draw back and look at her. She opens her eyes after a while, probably wondering where my lips are. My brows are furrowed from confusion, but it makes her face contort. Shit. Now she’s even angrier.

  “Let go of me,” she hisses.

  She jerks herself loose and pushes me aside with her body. “I was going to say that dinner’s ready, but whatever. I don’t care anymore,” she says.

  I step back and watch her leave again. Shit. I’m such a fucking douche bag.

  Clenching my teeth together, I bellow and kick a bag of hay standing against the wall. Fuck me and my issues. I can’t handle this shit. I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself nor her. I wish I knew. I wish I could give her what she wants, wish I could give myself what I want, but my worries won’t leave me alone. Forgetting is the hardest thing to do.

  ***

  Madeline is playing with her toy airplanes, swooshing them through the sky and making them land on my nose. I laugh and snatch them away, playing the evil giant King Kong. After all the toys are caught, I put them on the shelf. “Time for bed,” I say to her, and I pull up her covers.