For the moment, I breathed in his scent, clinging to remember it forever—the woodsy scent of his soap, the freshness of his linen, and the smell of Stone, the fragrance of sin. We lay tangled together without saying a word. The brushes of his fingertips against the small of my back got slower and lighter until eventually, they stopped.
His chest movement eased to an easy pace, and I realized he’d fallen asleep. A tear slid from my eye as I kissed the corner of his mouth. His peace was my hell.
Rising from the bed, I found my clothes where they’d been tossed about the floor and slipped into them. As I cast one last glance toward him, he reminded me of the sweet guy he’d once been, untroubled and content. His jaw relaxed, lips embodying a composed calmness. He seemed appeased, as if he held the world in his hands.
“I never stopped loving you,” I said in a feathery voice.
The next morning, we landed on the helipad of the sterile place he called home, and Stone brushed a gentle kiss to Savannah’s sleeping forehead. “I’ll see you in a few days, kiddo. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He closed the door, giving Hank the thumbs up to signal he was good for takeoff. His aloofness made me lose my cool.
“Wait!” I unsnapped the buckle securing me. “I’ll be right back.”
“Miss?” Hank removed his helmet eyed me, looking for an explanation.
“I said wait!” I ordered, opening the door.
Stone must have heard the propeller axle slow instead of taking off because his hand froze in front of the keypad at the door. He glanced over his shoulder to find me running toward him.
“Are you okay?”
“You must think I’m an idiot. Stop lying about this. It’s not a meeting, for God’s sake. It’s not business related at all.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I heard. I was at your bedroom door when I heard you talking about meeting with ‘her’. It has nothing to do with your hotel business. This woman…she has something on you.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Is she the one that keeps calling you? You think I didn’t see your mood change after those phone calls? It was always ‘a meeting’, you said, but it’s not. It’s a woman you’re bending over backward to meet with. What are you not telling me? Do you have another child?”
“No! I don’t have another child.”
“It has to be something pretty damned important. You were adamant about going with us to Savannah’s appointment, so it’s something that’s more important to you than your daughter.”
“You don’t know shit about what’s going on, and this isn’t the time or place to talk about it. Turn around, get on the helicopter, and allow Hank to take you home, Avery.”
We were safely out of sight, standing at the rear of the helicopter, so I jabbed my finger into his chest. “Not until you tell me what the hell is going on! You loved me once. I know you did. We were torn apart, Stone, and not by our own doing. Tell me why we can’t have another chance!”
His shoulders sagged and he leaned his body against the bricks. “I’m on parole. The woman I’m meeting is my parole officer.” He appraised the shock in my eyes. “That’s right…I’ve been in prison, Avery. That what you wanted to hear?”
Chapter 18
He whirled around and pressed the code at the door, leaving me gaping. Gusts of wind from being at the top of the building whipped a few tendrils against my cheek.
Just breathe.
Inhale and exhale.
I glanced over my shoulder and found Hank holding the door open for me. Coils of struggle welled up in the pit of my stomach. Torn between ringing the intercom button next to the keypad or forcing my feet to carry me away, I said a few explicit words under my breath. Seconds passed before I took the longest walk of my life toward the man wearing a stoic grimace.
Hank adjusted the seatbelt system before stepping back and allowing me to pass. He offered an apologetic expression, like he knew Stone had knocked my legs out from underneath me. Although he probably meant well, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about his pity. I’d had enough of those looks to last a lifetime.
Instead of climbing aboard, I unfastened the harness holding Savannah’s limp body in place. She had always had the ability to fall asleep easily and sleep through a freight train.
“I need you to wait here,” I advised an alarmed Hank.
“Ms. Anderson, I have instructions—”
“Well now you have new instructions. Wait for us, until further notice.”
He furrowed his brow and watched me carefully, presumably trying to digest this unexpected situation. Without hesitation, I pulled a sleeping Savannah into my arms. She peeked through her lashes before closing her eyes, which were the spitting image of Stone’s pretty blues. Focused on getting to the bottom of Stone’s confession, I boldly marched past a stunned Hank, who was holding a cell phone to his ear.
“If you’re calling your boss, tell him to kindly open the door. Assure him I’m not leaving until he does. Remind him…” I pointed at the back of Savannah’s head and made my way onward, possibly through the gates of hell, with more uncertainty than ever. A flash of amusement passed through Hank’s amber gaze and a smile teased the corners of his mouth. He gave a generous nod, fully aware that Stone would never cause a scene in front of Savannah. I felt a twinge of guilt about using her for ammunition, but felt certain he would never have allowed me inside had she not been with me.
Instead of Stone, Clare met me with a flat, unreadable expression. “I’ll show you in, Ms. Anderson.”
“Thank you, Clare.”
“This way.”
We trekked through the long corridor, our footsteps echoing and my heart galloping in my chest. Stepping inside his luxurious penthouse, she led us down a hallway to the second door on the left and into a bedroom decorated in light grey and white. It was soft, pristine, and modern.
For the conversation that was about to happen, Savannah needed to be far away. Still, I was hesitant to leave her in a strange room in case she woke up frightened.
“She’ll be fine. I’ll stay with her, and there’s a monitoring system so you’ll know if she awakens,” Clare said in a low voice with a watchful, tender glow. She must have seen the apprehension on my face.
“Thank you, Clare. Savannah has epilepsy, but her medication keeps her seizures controlled,” I whispered, surveying the room for the surveillance equipment. “Where is the monitor?”
“It’s hidden, but I assure you each room is equipped. Have Mr. Mitchell turn on the monitor to this bedroom.” She took a seat in a chair in the corner of the room. “Take all the time you need. If she happens to wake up, we’ll find something in the kitchen to keep us busy.”
“I appreciate your kindness. Savannah doesn’t normally take a nap, but she had such a great time at the beach, I think she’s exhausted.”
“Then rest will do her good. You’ll find him in his office, Ms. Anderson.” She reached inside the drawer of the side table and pulled out a fashion magazine. “Go easy on him. He can be a pain in the derrière, but I’m sure you already know that. A challenge from a woman has been long overdue.” Clare winked before flipping a few pages.
My feet moved, but it was as if they were robotic moves. Vaguely, I remembered the path from the tour Clare had given the first time I was there. With each step I took, my heart wanted to burst into screams. For all the things we’d been through. For all the tribulation we’d suffered. For our family. And now, most of all, for all the unknowns.
What happened to you Stone?
I found him standing behind his desk, palms planted flat on top of a desk calendar, leaning forward and staring downward. His head was bowed, his eyes closed, as if defeat consumed him. For the first time since we’d been reunited, he looked completely broken. God only knew how long I stood in an absolute daze, trying to figure out what to say.
Without opening his eyes, he spoke with trepidation. “Close the d
oor.”
Relieved he didn’t toss me out, I stepped forward, closing the door and pressing my back against the rich mahogany. Seconds passed as I waited for him to say something, and I debated asking a thousand questions. Of all the things that had happened between us, the lies that had destroyed us, seeing him as broken as he was right then made me the saddest.
“Talk to me, Stone. I’m here for you, always. Tell me what happened,” I pleaded.
He lifted his head, agony flooding his eyes. “I know what you want from me, Ave. No matter how much you try to hide it, I see it in your eyes, and I can’t give it to you…not anymore.”
I pressed one foot in front of the other until reaching the opposite side of the desk. I placed my hands next to his, my fingertips so close I trembled to touch him.
“Make me understand.”
He blew out a ragged breath. “You want the details? What I did that I can’t take back?”
“Please, I need to understand,” I whispered.
“Not remembering anything from that night with your mother drove me crazy. I remembered you in those boots and that short blue dress. I remembered your mouth, your kiss, the way you tasted. I remembered your smile, the way your perfume smelled, the scent of strawberry lingering in your hair…but I didn’t have one single memory with your mother. Nothing to prove it didn’t happen, to prove I didn’t fuck her, but the pictures…there was proof that I did. I’d lost you, and as far as I was concerned, I’d lost the only thing that mattered in my life, so I started drinking. A lot. I fucked girls senseless trying to get you out of my mind. I’d sober up, go to class, practice on the field, party, and drink until I didn’t know how I got back to my dorm.”
Stone stopped talking for what seemed like an eternity. His words caused bile to coat my throat. I knew the general direction this was headed, and I wanted nothing more than to somehow comfort him, to take away his pain, to protect him from whatever had caused his grief.
“One night after ten straight days of getting wasted, I went to a frat party. Before I was three sheets to the wind, one of the girls from class came up to me. She reminded me so much of you—not her looks, but just the way she was. She smiled a lot, said shit that sounded like things you used to say. The bastard I’d become became obsessed with fucking her. I thought I’d found my ticket to finally forget about you, except she wasn’t interested in me, not like that. I became driven to nail her. I seduced and charmed that girl into wanting to be my girlfriend, and it didn’t even take very long. Hell, I was Stone Mitchell, MVP for the Panthers football team. Hundreds of girls threw themselves at me, but I only wanted you. She became my drug to forget about you, and I didn’t give a shit about her. It was always you. Three weeks later, it happened. We’d been having Jello shots when she whispered in my ear that she wanted me to be her first.”
Stone whirled around and walked to the wall of glass overlooking the city, never giving me even a glance. He placed his hands at the back of his head, his knuckles blanched from holding on so tight. When a tear rolled off the edge of my jaw onto the skin above my neckline, I noticed the wetness on my cheeks.
“Tessa was bombed, but I didn’t care. She gave me her virginity in the back seat of my truck and I took it. It was all a lie. I made her want me and I didn’t give a shit about her. That innocent girl gave me something she couldn’t ever take back and afterward, I felt the same kind of guilt as when I saw the pictures of me and your mother. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey from under the seat to drown out what I’d done. Close to dawn, I woke up to her shaking me, saying something about having to be somewhere. Tessa was still buzzed, and I was still fucked up. I remember her laughing because I fell out of the truck when she opened the door. Tessa climbed into the driver’s seat, and I let her. The next thing I remembered, we were in a ball of metal with pieces of my truck strewn all over the highway, and Tessa was unconscious. At first I thought she was dead. I managed to get my seatbelt off and frantically reached for her. She moaned when I touched her, and I remember thanking God over and over again. It was when I got out and rushed to the other side to help her that I saw the other vehicle. We’d slammed into it head on.”
I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss his pain away. I took a few steps toward him but stopped when he warned me back with his daunting glare. He took a deep breath, shaking his head.
“Stone, you don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do. She hit a small car that night and killed an eighty-two-year-old woman. They said she died on impact. None of it would have happened if I hadn’t been so intent on fucking her for my own selfish reasons. Sirens loomed in the distance and I knew what I had to do. In less than a minute, I placed her unresponsive body in the passenger seat, fastened the seatbelt, and rested her head against the back of the seat. I sank to my knees and waited as the sirens drew closer. I owed this to her. She was good, and I’d lost all that was good a long time ago.”
Unable to stop my feet, I practically ran the few steps between us and circled my arms around him. He tensed and I pressed my chest against his back, curling my arms upward, holding him tighter. I pressed the palms of my hands against his chiseled chest. His torment etched its way into me, make me feel his pain all the way to the depths of my soul.
“Stone, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
His brought his hands over the tops of mine and for a brief second, I thought he welcomed my comfort, the security of my embrace. But then he pulled them from him, stepping out of the only thing I had left to give.
“Your apology is the last thing I want.” His tone was ruthless and dark, like a shield of ice masked his face.
“Don’t do that, Stone. You don’t have to shut down to protect yourself anymore. I know you. I know the guy you once were and the good man you are today, so don’t lash out and try to hurt me and make me run away. I’m here for you.”
He laughed sarcastically. “You don’t know shit about who I am. I’m not that guy anymore.”
“So, you keep saying, but I know deep down, you’re the same guy. For God’s sake, you sacrificed everything and went to prison for something you didn’t do.”
He whirled away, pacing behind his desk before sinking down into the high-back leather chair. His eyes flickered with angst and mixed emotions. I blinked hard, realizing that while Savannah had saved my life, Stone had lived in a hellish parade of darkness.
“Serving time for something you didn’t do for a girl you felt responsible for makes you better than any man I know. The lies didn’t ruin you. Prison didn’t take away who you are. You’re a good man, Stone.”
He sucked in a huge breath and exhaled slowly. “You don’t know who I am, and you don’t know shit about being behind bars. The things I witnessed…”
“Were you…hurt? Did anyone hurt you while you were there?”
“I wasn’t assaulted, if that’s what you’re asking. Listen, you’re the only one that knows the truth about the accident, and I trust you’ll keep it that way. If you choose to talk, I’ll deny it until the day I die. You were bound to find out about the whole thing eventually since it’s out there on the internet, and I have parole obligations for a few more years. I don’t want any more lies between us, and you needed to know so I can maintain a relationship with Savannah.” There were edges of ice in the way he said the last sentence.
I got it. I really did. I belonged in his past, and that’s where he wanted me to stay. Call it torture, but I had to hear it again, maybe again and again before I would truly believe it. He’d been upfront from the beginning, yet I’d allowed myself to hope for a damn fairytale in my heart. A sting of tears burned my eyes.
Damn him. Damn us.
“Really? She’s the only reason you told me?” I shifted uneasily while my heart dropped and my soul ached. I longed for him to want me as much as I wanted him.
“Yes. There can’t ever be anything between us. I never meant to give you hope of anything else, and I never meant to hurt you.”
; “You may have yourself convinced of that, but I don’t buy it. Look at us. Look at how good we are together. Think about how we’ve made each other feel over the last few days.”
Stone squeezed his eyes closed as if having an internal battle with my words. He pinched the bridge of his nose, his chest rising and falling hard. The room was filled with the sense of his guilt playing tug of war with his desire to submit to the truth.
I took a step toward him before he towered out of his chair. “No. I want you to leave, Avery. Take Savannah home. I’ll be in touch in a few days.”
A spiky coolness filled the air. He seemed so calm and confident, like nothing bothered him, while his rejection stabbed my heart. Deep down, I knew something brewed between us, that we had shared something so much more than sex, but he wasn’t ready to allow himself to feel again.
Inside I crumbled, but I’d be damned if I let him see me wrecked and shattered. Swallowing a mouthful of nausea from the sickness in my stomach, I forced my shoulders up and squared off. If he wanted to play heart-bruising games, acting like we were nothing, I’d give him a checkmate.
“When I walk out this door, we are done. We’ll only be parents to a child we both love, nothing more.” He didn’t flinch as I turned to leave. Before making my exit, I glanced over my shoulder. “It’s ironic, in a sense. The exposed truth healed us, yet we’re still just as broken as we ever were. I’ll never regret us, Stone.”
Chapter 19
After arriving at home, I kept myself busy with chores for a couple hours, anything to try to occupy my mind, but nothing helped. Thoughts of Stone and the weight of all he’d shared with me ran through my brain like a freight train. One minute, anger consumed me, and the next, sadness.
After putting away some freshly laundered linens, I closed the dresser drawer harder than intended. Even when I squeezed my eyes closed, vivid images of his nonchalant expression stared back at me. Him sending me away assaulted every promise of hope, making me want to scream at the top of my lungs.
Chasing Wicked (The Mitchell Brothers - Wicked Series Book 1) Page 13
