The Cowboy's Pride

by Charlene Sands

  Helen’s eyes softened and she touched the baby blanket gently just under Meggie’s chin. “She’s a beautiful baby.”

  “I think so, too.” Trish brushed a kiss to Meggie’s forehead. The poor child. She had no idea what was happening. They’d traveled across the country to get here, a trip that had taken its toll on both of them.

  Helen waited a split second for more explanation, but Trish held her tongue. Clay’s housekeeper had a momma bear protective streak when it came to the Worth men, and Trish already suspected she wasn’t in her good graces for walking out on Clay and moving back to Nashville. Of course, she doubted Helen knew all the details and she wouldn’t hear them from her.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Helen asked. “I’ve got a pot of coffee still on.”

  “No, thank you. I think we’re just going to sit down in the parlor and wait for Clay.”

  Helen nodded and then looked Trish over as if just noticing her state of dishevelment. “If I can do anything for you, let me know.”

  How about a course in Motherhood 101? Trish could write a book about what she didn’t know about raising a baby. Every spare moment she’d managed this month had been spent poring over parenting books.

  “I will. And Helen, it’s really good to see you.”

  The woman smiled. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

  Trish entered the parlor and stopped short. Her breath caught in her throat, her shoulders sagged. Hurtful memories entered her mind and threatened to exhaust the last shred of her energy. She hadn’t expected this, to feel such overwhelming sadness. She’d put the divorce on hold for nearly a year, unable to face the failure, but now, being here and stepping into this room again after all this time, brought everything back.

  She and Clay had argued—it had become nearly impossible not to during those days—right before she left for an overnight business trip. Trish had come home later that evening when the trip was unexpectedly canceled. With makeup sex on her mind, she strode into the parlor eager to see her husband and put a happy ending on the evening.

  She found Clay with Suzy Johnson. On the sofa. Together. Intimately sipping wine and quietly laughing about God only knows, some private joke they’d probably shared. Everything about that scene screamed “wrong” in a marriage already precariously holding on by a thread. And the last thing she’d needed was the hometown girl, a Worth family friend, hovering, waiting in the wings for a chance at Clay.

  Trish ground her teeth, reminding herself that she couldn’t dwell on that now. She couldn’t look back. She took a seat, spreading out the baby’s blanket and then laid the baby down. Meggie stared up at her with sparkling eyes, kicking her legs like an exercise guru, happy to be stretching out. That’s when Trish saw moisture leaking from the baby’s bloomers.

  “Oh, darn,” she muttered. She’d left the diaper bag in the taxi. She chewed on her lower lip again and shook her head. She had more-than-average intelligence, but Trish couldn’t have predicted in a thousand years how difficult being a single mom would be.

  Motherhood was kicking her butt.

  “Have patience with me, sweet baby. I’m still learning.”

  Just then Clay strode into the room with his usual confident swagger, and her heartbeats sped watching him move across the floor. His jaw tight, and his face flawlessly chiseled from granite, Trish had almost forgotten how handsome he was. She’d almost forgotten his raw sensuality. That and his innate charm had turned her head, even though she’d fought it tooth and nail in the beginning of their relationship. Because while she had refused Clayton Worth’s romantic advances, she hadn’t refused to represent him as his publicist and she’d taken him on as a client. Landing a country superstar even in the final stages of his music career had been a big deal and she’d never mixed business with pleasure. But Clay had other ideas, setting his sights on her. Once she’d stopped resisting the irresistible, she’d fallen deeply in love.

  “You’re the perfect woman for me,” he’d say, before covering her body with his and bringing them both…perfection. And she’d actually believed it for a while.

  He came to a halt a few feet in front of her, a pink polka-dot diaper bag gripped in his hand. “Is this what you need?”

  Her gaze traveled from the tight fit of his blue jeans, to a shining silver belt buckle with the famous W brand, up the wide expanse of his blue chambray shirt to his throat and the hairs that peeked out from underneath the collar. She’d loved to kiss that part of his throat and nibble her way up to his mouth. She lifted her gaze further to meet with russet-brown eyes that seemed to peer into her soul. At one time, he could melt her heart with just one of those penetrating looks. She wondered if he was melting Suzy Johnson’s heart now.

  “Oh, uh, yes. Thank you.”

  He set the diaper bag down near the sofa and then sat opposite her on a wing chair. Leaning in, he braced his arms on his knees. With a no-holds-barred expression, he asked, “Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?”

  She’d procrastinated telling Clay about Meggie partly because she could hardly believe it herself and partly because she knew how much Clay had wanted his own family. To her knowledge, no one had ever really denied Clay anything. He’d hit country music stardom at a young age and had retired in this mid-thirties to run the Worth empire. He was wealthy, good-looking and admired, a man used to having things on his own terms. Trish often thought of him as the golden boy. Everything in his life had come easy, whereas the opposite had been true for her.

  She’d worked hard to build her career, putting her whole heart into it. When Clay moved to the ranch, she’d kept her business in Nashville and split her time between the two places. At the time, he seemed to understand the situation. But having a baby then would have meant Trish having to give up her dream.

  As a child, her parents had been so intent on saving her brother from the cancer threatening his life that Trish’s needs and wants had been neglected. Every moment and every ounce of their energy went into keeping her younger brother alive. Trish had learned early on to fend for herself and to ward off the neglect by becoming self-reliant and independent. She’d clung to the things that made her strong, her schooling for one, and later, her small thriving business. The thought of letting it go and starting a family wasn’t easy for her. Not when she’d finally built something all her own. Not when Clay had changed the rules.

  She looked at Clay and began, “Do you remember me telling you about Karin, my childhood friend who lived with her husband in Europe?”

  Clay nodded, his eyes narrowing in question. “Yeah, I remember you talking about her.”

  Trish took a deep breath and pulled a disposable diaper out of the bag. She ran her fingers along the plastic edges. “Well, sadly, her husband died about one year ago. Karin was shattered when she returned to Nashville as a widow. We mourned together. It was only a few weeks later that she found out she was going to have a baby.”

  Trish glanced at Meggie who had turned her body to peer at Clay with curiosity. The baby had good instincts, Trish thought wryly, trying to keep herself from weeping as she recounted the story. “It was really hard for her. She was pregnant and pretty much alone. I was with her when Meggie was born. Oh, Clay, it was such a mir—”

  But Trish couldn’t finish her thought, not without falling apart. Meggie was a miracle—just seeing her being born, all wrinkly and pink, taking her first breaths and crying her first soft cries, had been a life-changing experience for Trish. She’d never expected to feel such incredible awe and wonder.

  Clay sat quietly, listening, and Trish continued. “Karin had complications after the delivery that put her life at risk. It was touch and go for months and then last month, she got an infection that she just couldn’t fight off.”

  Trish closed her eyes, willing the grief away as those painful memories surfaced. “She made me promise I’d take the baby if things went bad. I agreed, of course.”

  She’d promised her friend, but Tr
ish never thought that she’d have to follow through on that promise. She never believed her friend would die. The baby had been thrust into her life and now she was solely responsible for her. “Karin didn’t make it and I’m Meggie’s legal guardian now,” she explained. “I plan to adopt her as soon as I can.”

  Clay’s eyes softened as he peered at Meggie. “The baby has no other family?”

  “I’m it, for all practical purposes.” Karin’s mother was in a nursing home. Her husband’s parents were gone.

  She fumbled with Meggie’s diaper. She never got the thing on straight the first time and she’d learned the hard way what happened when there was a leak. She refastened the diaper, making it fit a little better. “I’m muddling through,” she confessed. “This is all so new to me.” She looked up to find Clay’s eyes on her. “Meggie had a little fever last week and I couldn’t travel with her until she was completely healthy.”

  He waited a beat. “That’s why you arrived late?”

  Trish nodded. “That’s the only reason.”

  She’d agreed to live in the guesthouse for one month and work on publicity for Penny’s Song. And while she was here, they would end things legally, their marriage only a few terms and a divorce signature away from being history.

  “Under the circumstances, I’m surprised you showed up at all.”

  She shook her head. “I wouldn’t miss being a part of Penny’s Song. I…it’s still important to me, Clay. Because of what my brother went through, and even more so now that I have a child.” She cringed once the words were out, wondering if his eyes would grow hard and resentment would tighten the sharp angles of his face even more. When neither of those things happened, Trish was hit with reality and unrelenting sadness.

  He’s divorcing you, Trish. He doesn’t care anymore.

  She’d been served those divorce papers a few short months after she’d walked out on him, but she hadn’t had the heart to end things. Even though she’d tried to forget him, coming face-to-face with Clay now brought it all full circle and her heart ached for the loss. Once upon a time, they’d been so much in love. But everything had changed. She was a single mother and she had to get her life in order. She’d see the end of one dream and the beginning of another.

  After she replaced Meggie’s bloomers, she picked up the freshly diapered baby and cuddled her close. “All clean now.”

  Meggie clung to her, laying her head on Trish’s shoulder. Blond locks tickled her throat and Trish smiled as she lifted her gaze to Clay. She saw the slightest flicker in his eyes.

  He rose from his seat and took a few steps toward her. She caught a whiff of his aftershave, the scent of spice and musk filling her mind with images of moonlit trysts on silken sheets and beds of straw. They’d made love every place imaginable on the ranch.

  “You should have told me about her, Trish.”

  “You should have answered my phone calls.”

  His mouth twisted and they stared at each other. Both stubborn when they thought they were right, they butted heads often. “Besides, it wasn’t as if we’re sharing much of our lives anymore.”

  Clay scrubbed his jaw and sighed deeply. “Let’s get you settled in the guesthouse.”

  With the baby in her arms, Trish got up from her seat and grabbed for the diaper bag. Before she could sling it over her shoulder, Clay intervened, reaching for the bag. “I’ve got it.”

  His fingers brushed hers. Inwardly she gasped from the intense heat. Electricity coursed through her system potent enough to curl the very tips of her toes. And when she looked at Clay, his eyes gleamed with something he couldn’t conceal. He’d felt the connection, too.

  They stood there for half a beat, no one moving, staring into each other’s eyes.

  A woman’s singsong voice coming from the entry broke the moment. “Hello, Clay. Are you in here?” They turned their heads at the same time toward the doorway. The voice grew louder as the woman neared the room. “I made sugar cookies for Penny’s Song and thought you’d like some.”

  Suzy Johnson walked through the doorway, a bright smile on her face, wearing a summery sundress with big yellow and blue flowers. The minute she glided inside and spotted Trish with Clay, she froze. “Oh! S-sorry if I’m interrupting. Helen didn’t answer the door and…well, it was open. I didn’t know you had—”

  “It’s okay, Suzy,” Clay said. “Thanks for the cookies.”

  She nodded, but the moment she took notice of the blond-haired, blue-eyed baby in Trish’s arms, her cheeks paled in color and she nearly dropped her cookie platter.

  Clay’s family friend had been forever stopping by, bringing over cherry pies, asking Clay for favors or reminiscing about their childhood in Red Ridge. Whenever the hometown girl was around, Trish felt like an outsider, so seeing her discomfort now gave her no small measure of satisfaction.

  The baby let out a little cry, interrupting the deafening silence. Trish rocked Meggie gently and met the dark-haired woman’s silver-dollar-sized stare.

  Another moment ticked by. Trish wouldn’t engage in conversation with her, and Clay wasn’t uttering a word.

  “I’ll…I guess I’ll leave these with Helen in the kitchen,” she stammered, wielding her cookie dish and backing out of the room.

  Finally.

  Once she was gone, Trish turned to Clay, cutting off anything he might say and managing to keep the pain from her voice. “I see nothing has changed around here.”

  Two

  A tick worked in Clay’s jaw as he strode silently beside her. Every so often his gaze would shift to the baby Trish held in her arms, otherwise he kept his focus toward the guesthouse that lay fifty yards away from the main house. Trish was too tired to deal with his sour mood right now.

  Granted, she hadn’t been his wife in the real sense in over a year, but you’d think he’d inform Suzy Johnson to stay the hell away until the ink on the final divorce decree was dry. But that was Suzy, always cheery, always showing up uninvited and always bearing treats.

  Trish bristled. The sooner she signed those divorce papers the better.

  She turned her thoughts to more pressing matters. Getting Meggie settled and comfortable was her first priority. Trish was an avid planner. She banked her livelihood on her organizational skills. She made lists. She set goals. She could plot out her future months in advance. It was the main reason she’d been successful as a publicist. She had a knack for scoping out musicians’ careers long-range and took great pleasure in seeing them come to fruition.

  But she had no plan for motherhood. None. She was learning the hard way that babies didn’t do schedules. They couldn’t be predicted. Their needs were ever-changing and she would be the one adapting, not the other way around.

  Every day brought a new challenge. Every day was different, unplanned and unorganized. It was a whole new learning curve for her.

  When they reached the entrance, Clay unlocked the door and allowed her entry first. He stepped inside behind her. “Your luggage is in the master bedroom.”

  She turned to him. “Thank you.”

  He nodded and moved into the living area, tossing the diaper bag down on the light tan leather sofa.

  Trish followed him into the room. Once upon a time, Trish had fallen in love with the small cottage and had asked Clay if she could make a few changes, put her stamp on it, so to speak. She gazed into the room with a sense of pride. A combination of soft leather and suede in cream tones marked the Southwest contemporary feel of the house. Delicate copper and brass sculptures sat on glass tables and masterful metal artwork hung on the walls. She’d created a cozy atmosphere in keeping with the flavor of Red Ridge for their one-time guests.

  But it looked as if no one had ever stepped foot in it. Everything was in its place, not a stick of furniture or a fruit bowl had been moved. The place was perfect and pristine. That would change in the blink of an eye.

  Babies caused chaos, even four-month-olds who weren’t at the crawling stage yet. Meggie did her
fair share of rolling, though, and Trish knew she had to give the baby a wide berth when she set her down on the floor.

  “If the baby needs anything, Helen will be around. She’s got three grandchildren.”

  “Three now? She had only two when I was living, uh, here,” she finished awkwardly.

  Clay waited a beat, probably deciding whether to enter into a conversation with her. The tick in his jaw did an intermittent dance. “Jillie had another, a boy this time.”

  “So Helen has two grandsons and a granddaughter. I bet they keep her busy.”

  “When she’s not here, she’s usually with them.”

  Trish often wondered if her own mother would take to Meggie like that, love her unconditionally and accept her in their family. It seemed Trish’s mother had given everything she had to give to Blake in those earlier years. Once he’d recovered, her mother had never really been the same. Maybe it was the pressure, the constant tension or the drain his illness had taken on her, but her mother hadn’t really been thrilled at the prospect of a grandchild. Not the way Trish had hoped.

  The baby squirmed in her arms, wiggling and making her presence known. Clay watched her interact with the baby with curious eyes. “I’d better set her down for a few seconds.”

  She bent to put Meggie down on her butt, propping her against the sofa on the floor. The baby waved her arms and cackled, happy for the time being. “There you go, sweet baby. Much better, huh?” Straightening, she turned to Clay. “She likes a change of scenery sometimes. I’ve got to learn not to hold her all the time.”

  His gaze stayed on Meggie sitting quite contentedly on the floor. “You need help unpacking?”

  He was being polite. Clay had always been a gentleman, even when he was hopping mad. She shook her head. “No. We’ll be fine, Clay.”

  His mouth pinched tight and he lifted his eyes to her. “Doesn’t the baby need a crib?”

  At least Trish had that much under control. “I’ll call the rental company and have a few things delivered tomorrow.”