Dark Secrets

by Shona Husk

  “I’ll send word soon.” The longer we delayed, the higher the risk of being found out.

  She turned to go out the front and make the purchase then spun back. “I love you.”

  They were words I never thought I’d hear again. I held them close like a starving man clutching at morsels of food. “I love you too.” My voice broke and I looked away. It wasn’t the joyous declaration it had once been. We were older, wiser and more damaged.

  I left Jawbreaker and Anisa at the dressmakers and slowly made my way back to the center of town and to the black three-story-high Arcane Union building. I knew Cog would be waiting for me to pay a visit and I’d rather do it on my terms, not his. I didn’t want to be dragged out of bed first thing in the morning or have him interrupt my business.

  A black-clad truth-seeker sat at the front desk to greet folk—at least, I figured he’d be a truth-seeker, since that’s who I had on my own front desk.

  He looked up, saw the color of my coat and stood. “I think you’re at the wrong Union House.”

  “Tell Master Cog that Haidyn Mast is here to see him.” The first time I’d been here I was full of pride and confidence. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. I was wary; I had to keep my magic contained so none suspected I was a Rogue masquerading as a whore.

  A flicker of recognition crossed his narrow face. He’d heard of me, but from who and in what context I didn’t know. Then he leveled his gaze at me. “What do you want?”

  I looked at him and met his gaze. Never look away from a truth-seeker, as it shows weakness and a willingness to lie. “He’s an old acquaintance. I need a witness to my will.” That was the truth, though not the full reason for my visit.

  Normal folk lodged their will with their Union and the Lawman. I didn’t have the first and I didn’t trust the latter. For me, coming here was as good as it got.

  The truth-seeker nodded, happy with the answer. “Take a seat.”

  I didn’t.

  The man opened the door and disappeared for a few moments. Nothing had changed since I’d sat here six years ago. The same dark shot-wood desk and statue of the Arcane Lord crowded the small entrance. I stared at the Lord and he stared back, lightning bolt held in his hand the way a man would hold a gun, ready to shoot. What was the Lord doing? The division between Free Arcane Association and Union was hurting everyone. Some argued it was the will of the Lord and that magic should be available to all, others that the FAA was breaking the law and trying to make a new Union—I knew it was true they swore in members and trained them.

  Being born with magic was more curse than blessing. Was it any wonder so many chose to hide what they could do, regardless of the risk?

  The man came back. “Master Cog will see you now.”

  I went down the corridor and into the open office. This wasn’t the room I’d been taken to last time as a boy, eager to join. Meeting in the office implied I was worthy of respect and the privilege of a closed door to the conversation. Cog’s office was more spacious than the front room and more colorful. Drapes of yellow filled the window and the chairs were cushioned in blue. I paused, startled.

  “Expect all black, did you?”

  “Yes, sir.” All the nerves I’d felt when I was sixteen rushed back and knotted my stomach. This time around I had better control of myself and didn’t let it show.

  “The Arcane works for everyone. Besides, I like a bit of color same as most folk.”

  He believed that, but I didn’t. The Arcane Union only served the rich. For that reason alone I sympathized with the FAA. Even without trying I could feel Cog’s desire to crush those who disobeyed the Union, and he was willing to use any force required. And anyone to achieve his goal, including me. I tried to scrunch my magic into a tiny ball to keep it hidden. I’d never been sure what Cog’s talent was and I didn’t want to find out.

  “Thank you for supplying a healer for the likes of me and mine.” I made a half bow and removed my hat.

  “Close the door and have a seat, Haidyn.” Cog waved his hand then waited while I complied.

  I sat with my hat in my lap while Cog took his time to assess me. Sweat blistered on my back. I’d have liked to blame the warm office, but that wouldn’t have been true.

  “I underestimated you.” He leaned back in his chair and pushed his fingertips together.

  My heart stopped and I forgot how to breathe as those nerves tightened around my chest like a snare.

  “While you have no magic of note, your desire to achieve is bigger than most. Any Union would’ve been glad to have you, yet you whore for a living.”

  That was as close to a compliment as I was ever going to get, but I didn’t let myself bask in its glow. “It took me time to grow up. Back then no one wanted me.” And I’d wanted to be Arcane so badly I’d been blinded to all else.

  “I’ve been watching you. You get some powerful visitors.”

  The reason behind Cog lowering the Union’s price for healing became apparent. He wasn’t buying my body, just information—I knew which one I’d rather sell. “And they pay well for my sealed lips.”

  “I can imagine the scandal that would be created if one who upholds the law were found to be involved in…grey areas.”

  “I do cater for those grey areas that might tarnish a white reputation.”

  Cog smiled as we reached an understanding of whom we were talking about. “We both know his reputation hasn’t been white for a while.”

  “Then you’ll understand why I need to make a will and have it witnessed.” I tried to shift the conversation from dangerous ground and get what I required out of Cog first. I had no doubt Cog would turn the wheel again and by the time we were done I would’ve agreed to another bargain I could ill afford. The Arcane Union usually got what it wanted; I just didn’t want to buckle first go.

  He nodded and pulled out paper and a quill, offering them to me. “You’re in a tight spot.”

  “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t—however, I will not let the proceeds of my business go to the general coffers of Reseda.” Which meant the Lawman’s purse.

  “Who will run the lust house in your place?”

  “Korene. I have been training her.” I paused. “And if not her, one of the others.” I added a few more words to my will, basically that the one who’d been there the longest would run it if Korene were absent. The Lawman would have to kill us all to get his hands on the Red Lust House. I wouldn’t leave my staff homeless and jobless.

  “Are things that dire?”

  I looked up at him. “You were at the Decihall.”

  Maybe he thought it was nothing to brand a whore, but to me it had been a personal message of ownership by Brixen.

  “If I disappear for more than a month, this is to be enacted. He won’t make my death public.” If I stole his wife, it would be private and painful, so I begged for the relief of a hanging.

  “He can’t after the branding. It confirmed my suspicions about who he saw at your lust house.”

  If Cog had noticed, who else had as well? Had Brixen made a big mistake in taking his grudge public? I signed the paper and turned it around. Cog read it and witnessed it in ink. Then he folded the paper and dribbled black wax on the paper to seal it. He pressed the official Union stamp into the wax.

  “I will lodge this with the Lawman if you vanish.” From the inflection I think he knew I was planning on packing and leaving. He tapped his finger on the paper. “You going far?”

  “As far as I can get. If I stay…” I shrugged. I didn’t need to finish the sentence, as we both knew Brixen was going to do me in, sooner rather than later. Then he’d find another boy on a corner who’d be more pliable. I’d become a liability. I knew too much and was too well known. I was sure that even as I plotted my escape, he was plotting my death.

  “I’ll ask the Arcane to guide you and put the Warrior at your back,” Cog said.

  “Thank you.” I was going to need all the help I could get. That Cog was wishing
me well meant a lot. If he hadn’t turned me away, I’d be a different man now. I looked at him again. In turning me away he’d done me a favor and allowed me to grow into being my own man, not a Unionized slave. My staff had more freedom than an Arcane bound to the Union. “For everything.”

  Truthfully, I probably wouldn’t have done very well in the rigid confines of the Union. On my own I had thrived. And I’d learned how to survive and get through the darkness without lightning to guide me. I felt sure that I’d be able to master my magic if I gave myself the luxury of time.

  I went to stand.

  “One more thing, Haidyn.”

  I sat back down, expecting him to reveal he knew all about me. If he brought in the truth-seeker, my ruse was all over.

  “Do many Rogues frequent your lust house?” If Cog had been watching me, he already knew the answer.

  “Rudley and his men pay like everyone else. No one wants cock-rot from a tavern or a corner.” Rudley was smart enough to spread his business around the lust houses. But they didn’t always visit to use the loose-skirts. There were other meetings that happened, ones I pretended to know nothing about.

  “They regular?”

  “If they were, you’d have raided my house already.” I shrugged. “They show up without notice and take what is available. No favorites, no trouble. I have no reason to turn them away.” I hoped Cog would hear the unspoken words, that I’d be making my own noose if I did refuse them entrance.

  “True. You run a safe business—there are many who envy that. Perchance you could send me a message.” He pushed a gold coin over the table. No mucking around with silvers and trying to convince me I was working for the greater good. Cog assumed I could be easily bought because of my assumed lack of morals.

  I looked at the coin. While my savings were gone, I didn’t need Union gold or the trouble it would bring. I couldn’t afford to be beholden to Cog. Yet if I didn’t take it the result would be the same. No matter what I did I was always courting trouble. I needed a less demanding mistress. I wanted a wife.

  I picked up the coin and grinned like he expected. “You bought yourself a couple of messages. Just take your business away from mine.” I let the grin fade and turn hard. “I wouldn’t want trouble that might scare away clients.”

  Cog got the warning and nodded agreement. Whatever issues he had between Rudley and the Rogues wouldn’t take place on my doorstep, and of course if Rudley were to avoid my house for a while, well, that would be another matter. Never could tell where the Rogues were going to spring up.

  “Good doing business with you.” I put on my hat, nodded once and walked out. Reseda was becoming a dangerous place to live.

  By the time I got home the house was quiet. Everyone was resting before the night began. I pulled off my jacket and boots, lay on my bed in the attic and closed my eyes. I imagined I could still taste Anisa’s lips on mine. Her hand over the brand. I traced the shape of the burn, the flesh smooth and tight. How long until my ability to heal fast made the scar fade? I couldn’t stay long enough for that to happen. Brixen would know straight away what that meant—everyone would.

  I needed to act soon, and not just because of the brand. I had to get Anisa away from Brixen and his fists. A tiny doubt chewed at my thoughts like a rat on scraps. What if she told Brixen of my idea to flee? I was trusting her with my life, and she owed me no loyalty. She owed him none either, but he’d have no qualms about beating out a confession if he smelled subterfuge.

  I’d held her heart once and I’d dropped it. Would she trust me with it again?

  Would I trust me if the situation was reversed? My mind replayed our conversation but I couldn’t be sure I wasn’t seeing only what I wanted to see—that she still loved me and would risk fleeing with me. What woman would take such a chance?

  There were only two answers. A woman in love, or a woman setting a trap for revenge. I pushed aside my ugly imaginings. It was too late for such thoughts.

  If she had betrayed me, I wouldn’t live to see past sunrise. Hangings were always at first light. At least Cog would take care of the business. My will was safe with him simply because he hated the Lawman. Maybe as much as I did.

  I forced my mind to calm, but around me the house breathed and I felt the other occupants wanting to slide into my skull. If I didn’t try to pry into their thoughts, it was much easier to keep them out of mine. I sometimes wondered if it was like an exchange of information. The more I took from them and turned their desire into their reality, the more their thoughts gained access to my mind. Like the door had to be open, and once open thoughts could go both ways. I’m sure there was a way to keep the flow in one direction; I just hadn’t discovered it yet. And if this was my last afternoon alive, I wasn’t going to spend my time worrying about it. If I escaped and survived, then I would.

  Instead I escaped into the moment where I hid when everything got too hard. When the life I was living and the secrets became too heavy, I went back to the moment when I’d lain in the grass with Anisa.

  I’d done it so many times before that the image built quickly in my mind.

  Summer in the field on the outskirts of town. The grass was knee high but we were lying down, barely hidden from view, teasing and testing to see how far we could dare the other to go beyond respectability. I could make her smile so easily back then and without magic—a kiss on her navel that was beyond all propriety even though we were to be married, a whisper in her ear. It was so easy.

  She opened my shirt and placed her lips to my chest. Her kiss warmed my skin, ignited my blood, as only she could do. The sunlight caught in her pale hair as she leaned over. The memory of her touch on my hard flesh still brought a groan to my lips. Only it was my hand now as I drew up every sensation of our final hours together. We crossed the line that should’ve waited until the marriage papers were signed. So young and so confident that everything would be fine.

  After months of doing everything but have sex, like most things the first time wasn’t what we’d expected. Next time would be different. I created a new fantasy, one I’d never dared to think of, but her hand on my skin in the dressmakers had sparked a fire that had been dead for too long. I stroked the length of my shaft. The Anisa I had once known merged with the woman she’d become.

  I wanted her. I wanted to live my dreams for a change.

  The remembered touch of her lips on mine and her desperate I love you was enough to promise me a future and push my desire to completion. I shuddered and my seed spilled, but it brought no satisfaction. While it had been a long time since I’d felt true desire, now it was in my blood and I wanted it all. I needed more than a memory and a pathetic fantasy. I wanted her in my arms, in my bed, somewhere safe where we didn’t have to look over our shoulder all the time.

  But I also knew timing would be everything. I had to wait and pick a moment when confusion would reign. However, getting word to Anisa would be near on impossible. It would be a snap decision when the moment came. I just had to hope she’d join me. It was one thing to talk and plan but another to act. However, fear of consequences hadn’t stopped her before. She’d risked meeting me, touching me, kissing me. I had to believe she would run away with me so we could start over and have the life we should have had.

  I got up and washed, feeling stupid for giving in and pleasing myself. Another man would’ve just taken his pleasure in one of the willing bodies that would come through my door this evening. I shook my head and started to get ready for work, dragging a blade over the three days of growth—I couldn’t afford to be lazy in my appearance.

  On the street below jeering broke out, and a tremble of fear ran through the air. People often hid behind words, but they couldn’t hide their desires. I glanced out my window but couldn’t see anything. I listened with my ears and my magic and didn’t like what I heard.

  The Lawman was back and itching for a hanging come dawn.

  The Lawman

  Not above the Lords, but in the service of all te
n Lords.

  Dressed in a dark green waistcoat and light blue trousers, ready for working, I went downstairs. My bare feet padded over the wood floor and then the carpet of the lounge room. My blood tumbled through my veins, set on edge by the tension brewing beyond my walls. I didn’t need to go onto the street for a better view.

  Excitement, fear, pure energy and hate swirled like the clouds of a gathering storm. One I didn’t want to be caught in. I muttered a quick prayer to the Warrior and the Hunter that we’d have no trouble tonight. I prayed Anisa would be safe because Brixen was in a good mood, then prayed he’d drink and celebrate elsewhere and leave her alone.

  The tension outside built like a thunderhead and when it broke, everyone in its path would be flattened. I should be properly dressed in boots and guns, but dressing for trouble was a sure way to invite it in.

  “Well?” I leaned against the doorframe and looked at Jawbreaker. He’d have heard the gossip on the street.

  “Ten men have been arrested for being Rogue. They’ll be hanged at dawn.”

  The Lawman was acting fast, too fast. I wondered if others would question what he was trying to prove.

  “Mob celebration or mob revolt?” I’d lived through the summer clash between Rogue and Union and had no desire to see another. The shattering glass and snapping of lightning. The anger that had lingered in the streets long after the riot had finished.

  Standing in the doorway, I could hear shouting from both ends of the road. The drunks down Brewer Road and the mob around the Decihall and the frames.

  “Both.” Jawbreaker didn’t elaborate.

  “Great.” Round two was about to start. But even as I spoke I realized this might be the chance I needed. Not tonight when the crowds were wild, but in the morning when the Lawman presided over the hanging.