Body and Soul

by Lucy Lennox

  “How so?” he asked.

  “Well,” I began as I took a bite of the sandwich. “I guess… holy shit!” I practically moaned as flavor exploded on my tongue. “Oh my god,” I groaned around the incredible flavors. “This is the best fucking grilled cheese I’ve ever tasted,” I managed to get out.

  Jake chuckled. “My mother’s secret recipe,” he said with a smile.

  “Oh my god,” I repeated before taking another huge bite, then a third. The first half of the sandwich was gone within seconds. “Tell your mom she’s a freaking genius,” I said.

  Jake stiffened at that, and I froze. “Oh fuck, Jake, I’m sorry. Is she—”

  “No,” Jake cut in. He swallowed hard and dropped his eyes. “I just haven’t seen her in a really long time.”

  On the one hand I was relieved I hadn’t been talking about a dead woman, but it was clearly a painful topic for him. As desperate as I was to know more, I also knew I’d lose him if I pushed. I reached out to touch his hand, more to get his attention than anything else. “Want to know what the first outfit I ever designed was?”

  That got him to look up at me.

  “What was it?”

  “In 2002 Oxana Fedorova of Russia took the Miss Universe crown in a stunning white Gucci evening gown. I fell head over heels in love with how simple and elegant it was. Couldn’t stop obsessing over how beautiful it was and thinking, ‘God, I could make that.’ So I did.”

  “Just like that?” Jake asked with a smile. “How old were you?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Ten or eleven, I guess.”

  “God, your family must be crazy supportive and proud as hell of you.”

  My stomach lurched, the delicious sandwich threatening to reappear.

  “No. Definitely not. I made it in secret with an old white sheet, and when they found it, I had to say it was a surprise for my little sister for her dress-up bin. Fortunately, her birthday was the following week. Unfortunately, she and her friends enjoyed that gown so much it was mud-covered and tattered within a day. I cried my fucking eyes out over that thing.”

  Jake reached for my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. “I’m sorry.”

  I shrugged, trying desperately to avoid the feelings the memory dredged up.

  “Eh, typical overly religious household. Couldn’t handle my talents. Moved on to bigger and better things, right?” I turned to him with a smile, but it was clear he saw through it.

  “If you could design for anyone in the world, who would it be?” he asked, before taking another bite of his sandwich.

  I wanted to kiss the man for reading me so well and changing the subject.

  “Emma Stone,” I said. “Sassy as fuck. Someone needs a personality to wear the kind of things I like to design now. No more simple white dresses for me.”

  “Oh, yeah, Emma,” Jake said with a nod. “What I wouldn’t have given to be her in that movie—”

  “—with Ryan Gosling?” I cut in with a nod. “Oh my god, I knew I was gay when I was like twelve, but when he took his shirt off in that movie—”

  “I know,” Jake said with a laugh. “That was the exact moment my brother decided to tell me he was bi. I nearly choked on my beer—”

  Jake’s words cut off abruptly, and I knew why. Part of me just wanted to let him off the hook, but the other part of me needed to know more about this man who’d somehow managed to turn my life so upside down in just a matter of days. “What’s your brother’s name?” I asked, fully expecting Jake to shut down the question, probably even take off.

  He was silent for a long time as he stared at his food. “Zach,” he finally said.

  I still had half a sandwich and my soup left, but I lost all interest in the food and carefully eased the plate onto the coffee table, then settled my hand on Boo’s head so I’d have something to touch, since I doubted Jake would want me touching him at that moment. He seemed locked in place–like he wanted to run but couldn’t.

  “How old is he?”

  “Couple years younger than me.”

  He still hadn’t looked at me.

  “I have seven brothers and sisters,” I announced. He finally lifted his eyes. He too put his plate on the table, then settled back onto the couch. I figured I’d bought myself a momentary reprieve, but I’d have to tread carefully going forward. I nodded and said, “All younger than me.”

  “Your parents wanted a big family, then?” Jake asked.

  “More like it was a requirement in our religion,” I responded.

  “Ah,” Jake said with a nod. “Did that make it hard for you when you were ready to come out?”

  I shook my head slowly. “Nope. Didn’t have much of a say in it, actually.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, they walked in on me kissing a boy from church. They gave me a choice–them and the church or the streets. I’d seen enough to know what choosing the church would mean.”

  “Conversion therapy,” Jake guessed.

  I nodded as a shudder ran through my body. “I told them I figured God was okay with the way She made me and that was that.”

  I’d meant my reference to God being female to lighten the mood, but Jake’s eyes went hard and dark, then softened before he reached out to take my fingers in his. “I’m sorry, Oz.”

  “Don’t be,” I said. “It worked out.” Jake’s thumb began rubbing back and forth over the back of my hand. “What about you?” I asked carefully. “What was coming out like?”

  “Scary as hell,” he admitted. A shot of happiness went through me when he shifted closer to me so that our legs were touching. He didn’t release my hand as he maneuvered the blankets so he was sitting beneath them as well. Our knees touched as he leaned back against the couch cushion.

  “I grew up in a small town–kind of rural. Family values and church were a big thing, you know?”

  I nodded. I definitely understood that.

  “Growing up, I always wanted to be like my dad. He was a doctor too–family practice. Anyway, I kind of had a feeling my mom already knew because at some point she’d stopped mentioning things like girlfriend, and she’d be careful when she used certain pronouns. Like ‘them’ and ‘they’ instead of ‘her’ or ‘she.’ But my dad was a real man’s man–cars, sports, the works.”

  “You didn’t want to disappoint him,” I ventured.

  “Exactly.” Jake dropped his eyes to our joined hands. “All I’d ever wanted was to be exactly like him.”

  “But you told them eventually.”

  “I did. I waited until I was almost done with college, though. I guess it was kind of the coward’s way out.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “If they’d done what your parents did to you, I would have at least had something else to hang onto. I’d already been accepted to medical school, so…”

  “I don’t think that’s cowardly at all. I think coming out is something that’s different for everyone. What happened when you told them?”

  “They were amazing. Sure, they were confused and there was some adjusting to it all, but the very first words out of their mouths were that they loved me. They didn’t ask me if I was sure or suggest it was a phase. They hugged me and told me they loved me and nothing would change that. My brother and sister were cool with it too.”

  “You have a sister too?” I asked.

  “Yeah, Claire… she’s the baby of the family. She’d be twenty-five now.”

  The way he said it was proof that it wasn’t just his mom he hadn’t seen in a long time. I wanted nothing more than to ask him what had happened that had kept him away from his family and made him hide the fact that he was a doctor, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me. I could see the tension running through his body even now. I still had a million questions I wanted to ask him, but there was really only one I needed the answer to at the moment.

  I carefully eased Boo off my lap, then worked the mounds of blankets off our bodies and stood. “Jake, will y
ou do something for me?”

  He swallowed hard and hesitated, then finally nodded. I held out my hand to him.

  “Come back to bed with me?”

  Chapter 14

  Jake

  I woke up feeling hotter than I ever had in my entire life.

  Which was saying a lot, considering some of the countries I’d traveled to as a doctor.

  But I was so much more than hot.

  “Fuck,” I whispered as I reached my hand down my body. I forced my eyes open so I could both feel and see what Oz was doing to me.

  Then maybe I’d allow myself to accept it was real. That I was really in his bed with his gorgeous mouth wrapped around my shaft.

  “Oz,” I breathed. He let his mouth slide up my cock before releasing it and settling his head on my thigh, his plump lips just a breath away from my aching erection.

  “Sorry, couldn’t wait… you sleep like the dead,” he said with a whimsical smile. His fingers coasted up and down my weeping dick as he watched me.

  He didn’t speak.

  He just watched me.

  I wanted to know what he was thinking, but was too afraid to ask. Somehow things had become way more intense than I’d intended. My goal the night before had been to spend just a few more hours in his presence to make sure he was really okay while I worked up the courage to leave like I’d planned on doing before he’d gotten lost in the woods. But I’d been lying to myself to think it would really be that simple.

  The truth was that I didn’t want to leave, and I was looking for any excuse not to.

  When he’d asked me to go back to bed with him, I’d told myself I’d stay long enough for him to fall asleep. After he’d drifted off and I’d held him in my arms, I’d tried to sell myself on the lie that I hadn’t wanted to risk waking him up by getting out of bed. In the early pre-dawn hours when Oz had stirred against me and whispered my name in his sleep, I’d told myself that I just needed him one more time before I said my goodbyes. He hadn’t even protested in the least when I’d kissed him awake. By the time I’d slid into his perfect body, I’d stopped trying to lie to myself.

  Nothing about leaving him would be easy.

  I slid my fingers through Oz’s hair as he stayed where he was and held my gaze for the longest time. I’d been with plenty of guys throughout my younger years, but even the ones who I’d considered more than just one-night stands hadn’t been able to speak to me like Oz could.

  Without speaking at all.

  “Come here,” I finally said.

  Demanded, actually. Something about Oz brought out my inner caveman, but fortunately, he didn’t seem to mind.

  He crawled up my body. He settled on top of me and crossed his arms over my chest. “Morning,” he said with a little grin that did ridiculous things to my belly.

  “Morning, beautiful,” I responded as I let my finger trail along his forehead, down his cheek, over his lips. He really was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, but so little of it had to do with the physical perfection of his face and body. It wasn’t the gorgeous blue of his eyes that drew me in, but rather the light and laughter I saw there. His perfectly symmetrical features were just fine, but it was the way his brow drew up just a bit when he was lost in thought that made me want to comfort him. His plump lips were a gay man’s wet dream, but as stunning as they looked wrapped around my dick, I couldn’t get enough of the way he’d chew on his lower one when he was trying not to say what was on his mind. And as perfect as his lips were, the way he kissed was all him–that came from the inside… like so many of the things about him that drew me in and refused to let go.

  “Morning,” he practically purred. “I have some good news and I have some bad news. Which do you want first?”

  “The bad,” I said with a grin, because it was pretty much impossible to be anything but happy in this moment where he was draped across my body like he belonged there.

  “Boo ate the rest of our sandwiches last night.”

  “Okay, why is that bad news?” I asked. “I can make you more.”

  Oz leaned up to kiss me. “I’m holding you to that,” he said. “But that’s not the bad news… the bad news is that my dog is lactose intolerant. I don’t know if that’s actually a real thing with dogs, but if it isn’t yet, Boo is proof it should be.”

  As if on cue, I heard a loud fart, followed by an ungodly smell. I glanced over to see Boo watching me from the floor next to the bed. Her expression seemed to say, You got something you wanna say to me, buddy?

  Since I wasn’t about to pick a fight with the seven-pound beast from hell, I said, “Okay, what’s the good news?”

  “The good news is,” –Oz reached his hand down my body and closed it around my dick– “I’ve thought of a few things that might distract you for a little while.”

  Another fart had me closing my eyes as a noxious plume of doggy gas wafted over us. “Babe, you’ve got an incredible mouth, but I don’t think even you’re that good.”

  Oz gave me a couple of hard strokes that had me bucking up into his hand. “What if I said we could hide out in the shower while I show you how” –he twisted his wrist and then flicked his finger over my slit, causing me to gasp– “talented I can be?”

  “I say you’re on,” I managed to groan. I dragged him up to me and kissed him hard, but another loud fart had me sitting up, taking Oz with me. I practically dragged him to the shower. Boo darted after us, but I managed to close the bathroom door before she could sneak through it. She let out an indignant whine.

  “I’ll make it up to you,” I called to her as the door clicked into place, then I was pushing Oz up against the vanity and covering his laughing mouth with mine. All traces of humor quickly fled as I lifted him so his ass was riding the edge of the sink. He was still wearing his underwear, but he’d somehow managed to divest me of mine before we’d gotten out of bed. His fingers closed around my cock as he kissed me.

  “Shower,” he reminded me.

  “Fuck the shower,” I growled. “This is good.”

  I wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him so I could get the underwear off him. As soon as the material was gone, he began rubbing our dicks together as his hands slid up and down my back. “Blowjob,” he murmured.

  I shook my head. “Later. Need to fuck you again.” I practically dragged him off the vanity and turned him around so he was facing the mirror. I bit down on the flesh where his neck met his shoulder as I notched my cock between the globes of his ass. “Watch yourself,” I demanded when Oz dropped his eyes. I snagged his hair and forced his head back. “See what you do to me,” I growled in his ear.

  He moaned and pushed his ass against me. “Just fuck me already,” he snapped. His skin was flushed with color and his eyes were dancing with pure, raw need.

  I searched out his mouth and kissed him as I slid my hands over his tight ass. I split his cheeks open and let my dick slide over his fluttering opening. “Lube, condom,” I said. “Where are they?”

  “Same place they were last night,” he said.

  I stilled. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered. I met his gaze in the reflection and saw him barely keeping from laughing.

  “Do you want me to go—” he began, but I cut him off.

  “No way! Knowing you, you’ll take one look at your gaseous little princess out there and forget all about me.”

  Oz reached behind himself and closed his fingers around my dick. He began stroking me as he rubbed his body against mine. “Believe me, that’s not going to happen.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered. “Stay here. Don’t move.”

  “Yes… sir,” Oz said, his eyes holding mine. I could tell he was only half-teasing with the “sir” part. Not surprisingly, my dick jumped and pre-cum began seeping from the head. I forced myself to release my hold on him and spared him one last glance as I reached for the doorknob. His eyes followed me as he held his position, and I took a second to admire the graceful line of his shoulders, back, an
d ass as he remained bent over the vanity.

  Waiting.

  For me.

  Jesus.

  I quickly opened the door and used my foot to keep Boo from rushing into the bathroom. I had to dance around her while holding my breath as I closed the door behind me and darted for the nightstand. Predictably, the dog followed me, giving me the evil eye the whole time.

  Yeah, she knew what I was about to do to her daddy and was promising retribution.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” I muttered, then regretted it because muttering meant needing to breathe. “I said I’d make it up to you,” I gasped. I grabbed a handful of condoms and the lube from the drawer and vaulted over the bed to try and beat Boo back to the bathroom. By the time I got us once again enclosed in our fart-free lair, I already had one of the condoms ripped open. When I turned to Oz, I nearly swallowed my tongue.

  He was still in the same position, but he had two fingers buried deep inside his ass. “Just thought I’d help things along,” he said with a sexy smirk as he began fucking himself. “Remembered this was in my shaving kit.” I noticed a small bottle of lube sitting on the vanity in front of him.

  Despite that knowledge, I still coated my dick with a generous amount of lube, since there was no way I was going to be able to go slow at this rate.

  I stepped behind him but didn’t tell him to remove his fingers. Instead, I opened him up so I could watch him. “Show me,” I said softly. “Let me see how open that pretty hole of yours is.”

  Oz groaned and dropped his head to the vanity as he pulled his fingers free. Sure enough, his hole stayed open for several seconds before reflexively closing.

  “Again,” I demanded, and Oz quickly complied. I made him fuck himself over and over, stopping him only long enough so he could show me his opening. He was begging me to fuck him after the fourth time, and right before his hole was about to close up, I pushed my dick into him.

  “Oh fuck, yes!” Oz shouted as his hands scrabbled for purchase. He ended up closing one hand around the faucet while the other gripped the edge of the vanity.