Body and Soul

by Lucy Lennox

  Aiden looked at me in surprise before his face softened in understanding. “You want to design, but you don’t care about creating a brand and getting the recognition from your designs.”

  I shrugged. “I guess so. Is that possible?”

  Aiden looked over at Ash. “Remember that woman we met at the firm holiday party? The one who came with the head of accounting?”

  “Trina something or other?”

  Aiden snapped his fingers and looked back at me. “Yes. Trina Tiller. She has contacts at Vogue and Neiman Marcus in the city. She’d be the perfect person to ask about this. Maybe I can set up a time for us to meet with her when you’re in town in a few weeks.”

  Again with the twisted-gut feeling. “February. I’m not in town until then.”

  Ash reached out and squeezed my arm. “Oz. Fashion Week is in five or six weeks.”

  Without me realizing it, Fashion Week had become synonymous with doomsday, because that was when Jake was going to fuck on out of here as if none of this mattered. Not Haven, not his patients or co-workers at the clinic, not Xander and Bennett and Lucky.

  Not me.

  I excused myself and went and hid in the coat closet so I could feel sorry for myself in private.

  After several minutes of trying to control my pathetic sniffles, Jake found me.

  “Hey. What are you doing in–wait, are you crying?” He walked into the closet and closed the door behind himself before gathering me into his arms with a light chuckle. “Baby, what’s wrong? Weddings are supposed to be happy times. I hope these are happy tears?”

  I let myself lean into him and inhaled his familiar woodsy scent while I reveled in the sensation of his strong arms around me and the muffled thump of his heart beating against mine through his dress shirt.

  “That was pretty amazing about Lucky, huh?” I asked, without looking up at him. I wasn’t exactly lying. I had, after all, been touched by Xander’s gesture at the end of the ceremony. I had been overwhelmed by how lucky, well, Lucky was to have two such amazing men in his life who adored him unconditionally.

  Jake’s voice rumbled through his chest. “Yes. Xander is a good man. They’re all so perfect for each other. Such a loving family, you know?”

  I nodded against his shirt.

  “Did you see Lolly take off her bra on the dance floor and fling it at the fireplace?”

  I couldn’t hold back a laugh, which I’m sure had been his goal.

  “No, what the hell? I didn’t even know she owned a bra,” I admitted.

  “No kidding. None of us did. But it actually ignited the minute it hit the flames and… well, let’s just say, she no longer owns a bra.”

  He looked down at me with a sweet smile and a small wink.

  “Ozzie, will you come out and dance with me, sweetheart? I’ve been dying to get you on the dance floor all night.”

  I spent the rest of the night in his arms, and when it was time for bed and I couldn’t sleep a wink, I got up and snuck into the main room of his cabin to complete his Christmas surprise. Zoey had helped me sneak all of the supplies over earlier in the day and hide them in the mudroom off the kitchen. I pulled them out and got to work decorating Jake’s cabin for Christmas and for the rest of his time in Haven.

  There were blue and green throw pillows that I’d envisioned when I first saw his place and made in moments snatched here and there while he was running errands in town, simple gingham curtains to hang on pressure-mounted rods for the breakfast area windows and heavier navy velvet drapes for the living room side of the cabin, and thick green holly leaves to scatter across his mantel with fat ivory pillar candles to line up along its length. When I was finished, sprigs of red berries nestled among the leaves and a big round ball of mistletoe hung on a red ribbon over the front door. Finally, a small fir tree set on a side table next to the fireplace with white fairy lights on it and a foil star up top. A scrap of the red and green boucle formed a small tree skirt underneath where I had put a wrapped gift for him to be opened in the morning.

  It wasn’t much, just a set of crisp white cotton handkerchiefs. I’d hand-sewn a cursive J inside of a heart shape in the corner of each one in different colors, one for each day of the week. I knew when he left, he wouldn’t take much, but I hoped like hell if he carried just the simplest of items on his person, it would at least be something that could remind him of me.

  And who knew? Maybe that little heart would be enough of a reminder of what we had and one day it might be enough to convince him to come back to me.

  Chapter 26

  Jake

  Christmas morning with Zoey and Oz was some of the most fun I’d had in years. First of all, I awoke to the surprise decor job Oz had done in the middle of the night in my cabin. The place looked amazing, and I couldn’t stop reaching for him and complimenting him with kisses all over at the incredible job he’d done.

  “I can’t believe you turned this utilitarian bachelor’s pad into a homey sanctuary,” I said for the millionth time. We’d gone over to fetch Zoey and Boo, and they both sat on the sofa by the fire admiring the new curtains and pillows.

  “Desperate times and all that,” Oz teased.

  “Shut up. Now, I have something for you.”

  I went outside to the shed behind the cabin and got out his gift. I’d had to hide it from him and hope the cold temperatures wouldn’t bother it.

  When I wheeled the custom-made dress form in the front door, Oz screamed.

  “Oh my god, where did you get this?” He jumped up and came running, leaping onto me with arms around my neck and legs around my waist. The man was slim as hell, but still, it was a lucky thing we didn’t topple the dress form onto the ground.

  “That’s half the gift,” I admitted. “The other half was me having to suck it up and ask Russ for help. He makes furniture including doing some welding and upholstery work, so I asked if it would be possible for him to make one sturdy enough for your heavy gowns.”

  His bright blue eyes flashed at me. “You asked Russell the Love Muscle to make something special for me?”

  “He didn’t make it for you. It was my idea,” I grumbled like a pouting child.

  Zoey laughed and got up to hug us both. “You two, I swear to god. So fucking cute I can’t stand it. Now, who made cinnamon rolls? Sweet Jesus, tell me someone made cinnamon rolls.”

  The rest of the day and for two more on top of that, the three of us lived in a happy bubble of pajamas, junk food, holiday movies, flirty visits from Wade, and chasing Boo away from a very specific list of gas-inducing foods.

  Finally, on the fourth day, an invitation from Lucky got us out of the house and down the mountain. Since Zoey’s blood pressure had lowered enough to get her off bed rest, she took advantage of the ride to town to relocate to a room in Xander and Bennett’s lodge for the following week. She told us it was because she wanted to give us some space, but it was very clear that was a euphemism for being able to get takeout and go out on dates with Wade. Oz and I agreed Zoey was having a very real case of cabin fever.

  Oz drove her into town early in the day to help her get settled at the lodge, and I met him there after a few hours of work. The rental properties I managed were overdue for a check, so I made my way from one to the other before finally joining Oz at Xander and Bennett’s place for a movie marathon.

  “Can someone please tell me when the honeymoon phase is over?” Lucky asked as he shuffled to his feet from the couch and went to the television set to pull the DVD out of the player.

  Oz and I both looked over to the loveseat where Xander and Bennett were making out.

  “Pretty sure you have to have had an actual honeymoon for it to be over, Lucky,” Oz said. He and I were sitting on one end of the sectional. We’d managed to snag the side with the lounger on the end, so Oz was lying between my legs with his back pressed against my chest. My arms were wrapped around him and he was playing with my fingers.

  Something he’d been doing from the moment L
ucky had hit play.

  Something I wished he’d never stop doing.

  “But something tells me your fathers are always going to be in the honeymoon phase,” I said with a chuckle. I didn’t add in the fact that I knew exactly how they felt.

  While Xander and Bennett had spent the night of their wedding in the honeymoon suite of their lodge while Lucky had spent the evening with Aiden and Ash in the house, the newly married couple had opted to postpone their honeymoon until the following summer when Lucky would be visiting Aiden and Ash in New York for a couple of weeks.

  New York.

  Where Oz would be.

  And I’d be… fuck, who knew where I’d be.

  I forced the morose thought away and skimmed my lips over Oz’s neck. “So, any opinion yet?”

  “Mmmm,” he murmured as he tipped his head back, giving me better access to his neck. “Don’t know, don’t care.”

  I chuckled.

  “Okay, if I have to watch this, I need ice cream,” Lucky muttered, then left the room for the kitchen, leaving the television on a cable channel airing some kind of celebrity gossip show.

  “I was asking if you preferred the original or the remakes,” I said as I nibbled at Oz’s jaw.

  “You, I like you,” he said, then his mouth closed over mine. I tried to keep the kiss relatively tame, but Oz wasn’t having any of it. I was about to call off the whole Star Trek movie marathon and drag Oz back to our cabin when he stiffened in my arms, then tore his mouth from mine.

  He turned to look at the television, and I forced myself to focus on the screen.

  “—and while we haven’t been able to confirm the man spotted at a wedding in the small town of Colorado is actually Laird, the resemblance is uncanny,” a reporter said.

  My heart skipped a beat as I stared at the two photographs on the screen.

  Both were of Oz.

  I barely recognized him in the first one. He was flashing a pose while wearing some kind of sparkly black and white ensemble. His hair was like it’d been when I’d first met him–platinum blond and long, hanging just beyond his shoulders. His skin was so white it was almost translucent, and his lips were plump and shiny. He was carrying some kind of bag or purse and I realized the photo was actually an ad, probably for the very bag he was holding. The other picture was the real Oz, my Oz. And it was from the night of the wedding.

  What the hell?

  My thoughts drifted to that night when I’d seen one of the young women who’d worked for the catering company seeming to take Oz’s picture and talk excitedly to him, but when I’d asked Oz about it, he’d told me she’d mistaken him for someone else. Even though my gut had told me he wasn’t telling me the whole truth, I’d accepted his explanation without thinking too much of it.

  He lied to me?

  “—no idea what one of the world’s most recognizable male models would be doing in a small town like that, but if the man on the right really is Laird, he’s got some explaining to do. I’m sure many a photographer is asking what is going on with Laird’s new hairstyle,” the female host said.

  “So right, May. But it looks like the hair isn’t the only thing Laird has been keeping under wraps. Our source says the supermodel was dancing with a hunky date at the wedding,” the male host said with a smile.

  My stomach dropped out as my picture flashed across the screen. I stumbled to my feet, pushing Oz out of my arms as I did so.

  “Jake, I can explain,” Oz began, but I hardly heard him as fear cascaded through me in waves. My face was there, on the screen, as clear as day and for all the world to see. On national television.

  My limbs began to shake, and I automatically began striding to leave the room. Oz cut me off by stepping in my path.

  “Jake, wait, please—”

  “Did you know about that?” I asked as I jammed my finger toward the screen.

  Oz shook his head. “No… Aiden mentioned the picture circulating on social media, but we had no idea it would end up on TV. If I’d known—”

  “If you’d known, you what? Would have decided to tell me the truth? You’re some kind of… what? Household name, for god’s sake? Am I the only person who didn’t realize what a big deal you are?”

  Oz’s skin was ashen as his face fell. I glanced around the room and realized we were alone.

  “How long has that picture been online?” I bit out.

  Oz swallowed hard and I knew in that moment I wouldn’t like his answer.

  “Two days.”

  Oh god.

  Oh my fucking god, I need to get the hell out of here. Now.

  Chapter 27

  Oz

  “Jake, please, can you just… can you just sit down and I’ll tell you everything?”

  “No,” he said. “I need to go.”

  I felt the tears sting my eyes at the abrupt dismissal. Why hadn’t I just sucked it up and told Jake about the damn picture when Aiden had told me about it?

  Because you were a coward who didn’t want this to end.

  Jake began walking, and I immediately stepped in front of him again. Predictably, he stopped instead of pushing past me like he could have. I grabbed his shirt and fisted the material between my fingers. “Please, Jake, I’m sorry. I thought the picture would blow over and no one would make the connection. I just… I wanted a little more time before I had to tell you the truth about who I was.”

  “I don’t give a fuck how famous you are,” he bit out. “I don’t care if you’ve posed for every magazine out there! I already knew you were successful at what you did because of that damn car you drive, but I didn’t know you were a fucking celebrity! Me being photographed with you, Oz… you… you…” He pulled back and ran his hair through his fingers in frustration.

  “I what?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around myself.

  Please, please don’t end this. Not yet. I’m not ready.

  I managed to keep from crying as Jake took yet another step back from me.

  “You don’t know what you’ve done,” he whispered.

  “Then make me understand,” I pleaded. “I promise, I can fix this. Aiden can put out a statement that Laird’s on sabbatical in Sweden or Nepal or Timbuktu or wherever! I’ll spend the rest of the winter in our cabin, and you can tell the people in town I left or something. Please, Jake, I’ll do anything.”

  “It’s not that simple, damn it! Now people know where I am,” he practically yelled.

  Jake rarely yelled.

  God, he looked like he was going to blow a gasket. He was normally so calm, even in the most stressful of situations.

  Before I could ask him what people he was talking about, my phone rang, and from the ringtone, I knew it was Aiden.

  Probably calling to see how I wanted him to deal with the mess.

  “It’s Aiden,” I said as I reached for my phone. “Can you… can you please just wait here while I talk to him? It’ll just take a minute.”

  Jake didn’t answer me, but he didn’t move either, so I took that as a yes and hurried to the hallway between the living room and the kitchen. I covered my eyes with my hand to try and stem the tears that were threatening to fall.

  I was going to lose Jake over this.

  I knew I was.

  “Hello,” I managed to say, keeping my voice as calm as possible. But I gave up on the tears and let them fall as Aiden patiently began laying out all my options. I finally told him to do whatever he needed to in order to convince people I wasn’t Laird, then said my goodbyes. But I knew long before I entered the living room that Jake wouldn’t be there.

  And I was right.

  He was running.

  I could feel it in my bones.

  It was all I could do not to jam my foot down on the gas as I navigated the snow-covered road leading up the mountain. Jake only had a few minutes’ head start on me, so the likelihood of me missing him was slim. Even if I couldn’t reach him before he left the cabin, there’d be no missing him on the road.

&nbs
p; But that wasn’t really the problem.

  No, the problem was getting him to stay long enough to hear me out. To let me explain why I hadn’t told him about Laird and that as bad as the picture was, it didn’t have to be the end of us.

  It couldn’t be the end of us.

  Because I wasn’t ready.

  And I knew I never would be.

  By the time I turned the corner leading up to the cabins, I was a shaking mess. Sensing my anxiety, Boo had curled herself into a ball on my lap. When I saw that Jake’s truck was parked in front of his cabin, I let out a whoosh of air and dropped my hand to Boo’s head. “He’s still here, BooBear,” I murmured as I pulled the Jeep in next to his truck. I picked Boo up and got out. My next breath caught in my throat when I spied Jake’s duffel bag sitting on the front seat of his truck.

  I practically stomped up the stairs and didn’t bother knocking on the cabin’s front door because all my fear had turned to anger. Once inside, I didn’t get very far before Jake rounded the corner from his bedroom. I gasped at the sight of the gun in his hand.

  The gun pointed at me.

  I froze in my tracks.

  “Jesus,” Jake snapped as he lowered the gun. “What are you doing here?” he bit out, then he was striding back into the bedroom.

  It took me several long seconds to catch my breath. Then the anger returned tenfold. “That’s what you have to say to me right now?” I barked as I stormed into the room, putting Boo down as I went. Not surprisingly, she stayed near my feet and let out the occasional whine.

  “What the fuck, Jake?” I said as I stepped closer to his bed. Jake was jamming stuff into his backpack. The gun was now lying on the bed.

  Something crunched beneath my feet as I moved closer to him. I looked down to see it was his cell phone.

  In several pieces… like it had been stomped on.

  My anger turned to fear.

  “What’s going on?” I said, my voice barely a whisper. Which, ironically, got Jake’s attention.