I said trying to be playful. It was the truth though. It calmed the wolf that kept surprising me, growing stronger than I ever imagined. She howled at the thought of being separated from him, but I think she also understood what he was going to do. She didn’t want to condemn him for trying to protect us. I think she admired him. The impulse to run into his room and steal a shirt wasn’t my proudest moment, but I also didn’t think he’d notice because my scent was already there from the night before.
It was simple, gray, cotton shirt drenched in his sweat. It was well worn and I didn’t think he would miss it. I looked up at him. I didn’t know what to tell him. My wolf had grown accustomed to waking up and having his scent nearby. I had come to find pleasure in it as well. If I couldn’t stay here, I wanted to bring some of him back with me.
“I’m taking this, then.”
He grabbed my oversized t-shirt. One of those shirts that was one-size-fits-all sort of things I had gotten at university from some sort of event going on. Griffin had wanted to go because he knew there would be freebies. I personally didn’t care that much. But I got a free shirt out of it and that was all that mattered.
When Hunter grabbed the lime green shirt and I resisted the urge to laugh. I would have loved to see him try it on but I fought the urge to ask. Hunter balled the shirt up and looked at me.
“Thank you.”
It was quiet. A barely there thank you.
I knew it was hard for him to show me this gratitude in the first place. I was sure that he never the kind of trouble I had brought into his life. As an enforcer, this was his job. To pick up and leave at a moment’s notice so that he could go fulfill the duties asked of him by the Alpha. I changed topic.
“I – ”
I didn’t know what to tell him. He knew I hadn’t sought him out. We found each other by happy accident, but I also wasn’t unhappy that he found me anymore. My month or so away from Griffin really showed me that as much I might have loved him, I could never be in love with him. When Hunter kissed me I felt it set my soul on fire. When I thought of what my future might hold, I saw him. I could hope for more.
“You don’t have to say anything.”
Hunter crossed to me, combing fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, letting the sensation take over. It was incredible. I was in a state of bliss when his fingers twined in my locks, and gently tilted my head back. I looked up at him and smiled.
His lips brushed against mine. Explosions went off throughout my body. I didn’t know what to do at first. It was a state of awe, but the need to touch him was as bad as ever. The desire to feel him was overwhelming. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Hunter pressed, but it really wasn’t enough for me. I arched into him, my curves molding to him. Every inch of open skin was his, and it felt so right. I didn’t have to think about anything. His strong arms wrapped around me. A hand pressed into the small of my back. I felt the kiss change to something more desperate. It really started to hit me. He was leaving and the tentative relationship we had would be strained. I wasn’t ready to give up on what we had started. I couldn’t help but feel like when he came back things wouldn’t be the same. Whether it would be better or not, I wasn’t sure. This kiss felt different. The moment I chose him over me, I knew things wouldn’t be the same.
Hunter pulled away, but we still held onto each other. I looked at him, my breathing ragged and my mind still clouded.
“Don’t pull away from me,” I whispered. I couldn’t bear to look at him, and I kept my eyes downcast my heart racing waiting.
“I can’t promise that.”
I looked up at him and saw the fear in his eyes. While his wolf obviously wanted me completely, the man was still getting there. Hunter took time to open to me, and I felt that he was holding something back. He had told me that he was more wolf than man, but sometimes there was more man than wolf. And that human side was vulnerable and scared. I reached up and kissed him lightly.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I answered pressing my forehead to his. I couldn’t promise him that I would never leave him though. One day he might not want me anymore. One day the secrets I was desperately trying to forget myself might break free. He would never look at me with love again, after that. I was sure of it.
“Just promise me you’ll be here when I get home. And I promise I’ll come home to you.”
I looked up at Hunter. I heard the hesitation in his voice. I could feel his nerves as if they were my own. And, in a way, they were.
“I promise.”
Hunter bent to kiss me one more time, his lips catching my upper lip is a sweet chaste kiss. My heart stopped. I hoped for more of those kind of kisses. Ones where passion was replaced with need. The need to feel close, to remind me of his heart, without a word being spoken.
Chapter 19 — You Were Bored
Two weeks. Two weeks gone. Living at Damien’s wasn’t working out for me. With Hunter it had been manageable. Having our dinners together made me feel like I belonged. I didn’t want to leave my room and get in the way, even though I knew he spent most of his time in his office. But he was still a wolf. I was sure he was keeping tabs on me roaming about the house. Jen kept me occupied most days. She was a good friend. But I think even she was getting annoyed of me. Lately, I hadn’t been the best company. I was irritable. I was on edge.
Hunter couldn’t call me to update me on their progress. It was too risky. Nightmares chased me all through last week. I feared that he would come home somehow knowing my secret and look at me with hate. He would look at me like the enemy and destroy me. I kept thinking of the warlock he had killed, the one that he hunted now.
Each day that passed I wondered what had become of the warlock. I wasn’t a violent person by nature, but something in me hungered for justice. They were going to torture me, use me to hurt the small family I had created here.
But I also yearned for him to be free. He knew something about me, knew I was more than what I seemed. Even with my powers bound, surely he would be able to sense them. But I had no way of knowing. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and buried them.
I needed out of the house. I needed sometime alone. I hoped Damien wasn’t around. I listened closely. Nothing. But wolves could be as silent as a whisper of the wind. Even my senses couldn’t always detect them.
I was uncomfortable by Damien’s attentions. Had been oddly attentive when it seemed like I was leaving the house. He always made sure that I was going to Jen’s. There was no lying either. He could detect it. Most alphas could.
I left my room. I wondered down the elegant hallways. The floors were wood, but it had to be new because they never creaked under my weight. Once I was down the stairs, I headed for the kitchen with every intention of slipping out the door there. If Damien came looking for me, or was stretching his legs, as he sometimes said he was when I found him loping around the house. If he appeared I could easily say that I came to get food, which was not a lie in the least. I had planned on getting a snack, and then heading out for a walk.
I made it to the kitchen without any interruption, so I tossed an apple in my hand and waited. Damien could be anywhere. I couldn’t take any chances.
It had been lonely the last two weeks. While Jen was with me, my wolf was tentative. There were still times she disappeared. Especially when I didn’t have my nightly dinners with Hunter. And I didn’t have the comfort of his small cabin. I missed that we wouldn’t see each other until his work was finished. I didn’t even call Keith. He was the one person I kept in contact with since arriving here. And, somehow, it felt wrong of me to even think about calling Griffin now.
I missed him. I also missed Liam and Nick. I talked with Isaac and Rose a couple times. Keith passed me off sometimes during our calls. It made me miss home even more, but I made sure they were taking care of Keith. He had moved into the big house with them. The thought of our little home abandoned and forgotten stung, but I couldn’t blame Keith. If I wasn’t return
ing, it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask him to keep living in our home alone.
I would never let myself hold him back. I wanted him to feel free to pursue anything he wanted.
But I had avoided calling Keith these last two weeks. I usually got in touch when I missed home too much, though now it was more because I missed Hunter. I didn’t need a reminder of someone else I missed. But it was too late, before long my mind fixated. It started to weigh heavily on me. As I walked through the woods I let my hands flutter over the plants. They grew without a care. Unlike me.
The energy of the forest filled me up and left me feeling more content. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Since that night in the forest that I ran with Hunter, I have yearned for the outdoors. This had become home, here in the forest. I could only compare the feeling to when Hunter touched my hand. It took me all about a day to realize that it was his light touches that had brought my wolf closer to the surface. It had brought a sense of peace, and excitement.
I felt like I barely knew him, but I also felt like I had known him my whole life. He and I talked, we shared stories of our past, and he had told me about his parents. He knew about my past, but I never really told him about what happened to me. I promised myself I would tell him about that when he got home.
I stopped and looked up. I had made it to Hunter’s cabin. It looked so lonely out here, but I couldn’t help feeling a sense of companionship with it. I walked up and twisted the doorknob. Inside it was warm, as I expected. I moved over to the couch and sat down.
Hunter and I were more attentive to each other during our time in this cabin. With each day, I was becoming more aware of him. I could feel him before he even got close. It was a sensation I looked forward to. He put a smile on my face most times. Thinking about those times, especially here in the cabin, made the ache in my heart grow.
I spent the rest of the day at the cabin. I even thought about just sleeping here since Damien hadn’t come after me yet. His need to keep me close was weird. It wasn’t just when I was at his house, or with Jen. I wanted to ask what was up with the special treatment, but it wasn’t my place to question the Alpha. Even if I belonged to this pack, he was still an Alpha. An Alpha that could, and probably would, command me not to ask him those types of questions.
The longer I stayed with Lowe pack, the more comfortable I felt. Most of them – aside from some of the more jealous she-wolves – thought of me as just part of the pack by now.
It was rare to hear of a fated pair not staying together. I wondered about that briefly. Hadn’t the witch who had bound my powers said something about that? I was always told that the witches had done this in order to weaken wolves, to give them leverage against the wolves. Kill a wolf’s fated mate and they would fall apart. Knowing they had originally tried to use us for their dirty work didn’t make things any better. It made it worse. I pushed away those thoughts.
What I had with Hunter was a gift.
I went to Hunter’s room and sat down taking in his scent. Part of me wished I hadn’t come here in the first place. I knew I would be tempted to go into his room. I knew I’d want to bury my nose in his sheets. I wanted to wrap myself in his comforter and sleep. I hadn’t slept well since he had left. I think I had gotten use to him being close. My wolf felt particularly restless at nights. She always wanted out, she wanted to come to fore front of my mind and take over.
Those nights, I wish I could shift just so she could get out and run like I knew she wanted. I thought back to a moment Hunter and I had shared together on the couch.
****
Hunter’s hands were roaming softly on my back. I was drifting. We were supposed to be watching a movie, but I ended up in his lap. My eyelids dropped heavily again. I felt Hunter press a kiss to my nose. I looked up at him with great effort and gave him a sleepy smile.
“You’re silly,” I whispered.
He raised one eyebrow. I found my eyes resting on his lips. How could they distract me so easily? I kissed him softly. His lips moved against mine. I couldn’t help my body’s reaction. That bottom lip. I bit it impishly. I brought it between my lips. Nibbled. Hunter let out a deep throated growl as he climbed on top of me. We fell backwards. I felt my shirt start to rise up. Not that I recognized until his hand touched my bare flesh.
I moved into his touch. His skin on mine was heaven. I was so wrapped up in our kiss that my tattoo, currently hidden under his hand, slipped my mind. Hunter and I continued to make out until we both needed breath. I was staring up at the ceiling as he worked his mouth further down my neck. His hand kept moving upwards from the side of my stomach to across my ribs. I didn’t care so much about the intimacy of the touch, but when he pulled away, I thought of my tattoo, and I instantly got nervous. I started to fiddle with the end of my shirt, trying to cover up my revealed skin.
But Hunter already seen the tattoo. His eyes met mine for a second before he went back to study the ink needled to my skin. I swallowed hard thinking about the black solid tribal wolf head on the right side of my stomach. I squirmed wishing that he would stop looking at it so closely. It covered one of the really bad scars from the silver knives that hunters used on me. The silver didn’t affect wolves any differently, though the hunters believed that they did. And had used those knives on us.
Hunter traced the design with his finger, never looking away from it.
“Scars aren’t ugly, Colette.”
He looked up at me now. The heat I had seen in his eyes disappeared. Instead he looked at me with respect – or was it a kind of reverence? Did he think I was brave and courageous? I wanted to let him believe it, but I didn’t want to mislead him.
“I had to hide the reminder of what happened.”
We were quiet for a long time.
“I understand,”
He started to trace the scar instead of the tattoo. I moved my hand into his hair. The strands were silky.
“I use to want to hide my eyes from everyone and myself. It was a reminder to me how weak I was,” Hunter said quietly.
“You’re not weak.”
He avoided my gaze.
“This is beautiful artwork. Though I am sure your wolf would rival her.”
I smiled. We were quiet the rest of the night, Hunter moved behind me and held me close as we finished watching the movie. He never pushed for more. He never dug too deep. He understood pain. He understood sometimes it’s better to leave it.
Two weeks was far too long. I needed him home. The worst part was that deep down I knew this would be my life if I remained here. If I completed the bond with him. I couldn’t never ask him to stop. From what I knew, this was what Hunter loved. He wanted to be an Enforcer.
If he would have let me go with him, I probably would have. Being apart from him was harder than I thought it would be.
I rose from my bed in the darkness. I hadn’t turned on the lights. Still, I walked without difficulty over to one of his dressers and pulled out a shirt. The one I had taken from him wasn’t as strong in scent anymore. I thought for a moment about my shirt. If he held it as close as I held his.
I took the shirt and headed back to the main house.
****
Late that night I was already in bed wearing Hunter’s shirt and a pair of small cotton shorts. I felt a tugging in my heart. Something wanted to move. My wolf? I turned over and opened my eyes. Then I heard it. I had just barely fallen asleep, but I was wide awake at that sound. The rumble of their bikes was something they couldn’t hide from me.
I jumped out of bed, not even stopping to put on socks or shoes. I just ran.
The need to see him, to know he was really home, consumed me. I ran down the stairs and out of the house. He was across the way in the parking lot, saying goodbye to the twins. I was breathing hard from running, and my hair was a mess around my head, but I didn’t care. I could see his back, and from his rigid posture, I knew he could sense me coming.
I was already moving when he started to turn towards me. I ran
over to him. I leapt into his arms and held him close. I looked up at him and saw the same hunger and need in his eyes.
We needed each other. I needed to kiss him, to hold him and know he was home. It was like I was starved for water and he was the only thing that could satisfy my thirst.
Hunter swooped down and captured my lips in an all-consuming kiss. His tongue swept across my top lip. I opened for him. He moved forward. His strong, solid body pressed into mine. I felt more at home than I had in months. I couldn’t get close enough. I weren’t half crazed with desire, I would have found it horrifying how I basically mounted him publically.
Hunter reached around me, cupped my ass, and lifted me as he continued the kiss. I felt lighter than I had in weeks. It didn’t feel like enough, yet it felt like too much. My body was igniting in a torturous burn. I felt every inch of his body against mine.
My legs were hooked around Hunter’s waist, one arm around my back kept me pressed close. The friction between us was driving me insane. His other hand gripped my thigh. His touch was light, each stroke driving me closer to the edge. His touch was enough to make me lose my mind. I wasn’t sure what might happen tonight, but I didn’t want it to stop.
Hunter released my lips and moved down my neck. I could feel the smoothness of his teeth along my jaw. He dragged his mouth to the sensitive spot behind my ear, and pressed a light kiss there, followed by lick. He then took my earlobe between his lips and pressed his teeth down lightly. I felt the burning sensation directly plummeted to my gut. Someone cleared their throat. I was quickly brought down from my high, and realized that we were still in the parking lot. I hid my face in Hunter’s neck, laughing to myself. Like a teenager caught in the middle of a hot-and-heavy make-out session. Pretty much all of that was true, except we were both adults. Hunter let out a low growl and I felt his hand tighten around my thigh. I almost told him to let me go so I could stand, but I wasn’t sure my legs would hold me. I didn’t want to leave the comfort of his arms.
“I suspect I will have to talk to you in the morning then.”
Hexed Hearts Page 21
