Damien’s voice came from behind me.
My back tightened with each new embarrassment. He had a light tone to his voice. Like he was pleased at what he was seeing. I really wanted to crawl into a hole. Instead I let Hunter hold me closer.
“You will.”
With that Hunter took off. His strides were fast but he wasn’t really running either. Werewolves were stronger than normal men, but I was sure he had to be tired. I started to wriggle, and he stopped, pulling back to look down at me.
“Please don’t do that.”
His voice was dark and rough. A thrill of excitement went through me when his dark eyes, full of desire, stared back at me.
Hunter started forward again. On the walk back to the cabin, I started to drift off. I was exhausted from lack of sleep from the weeks he was gone. Now that he was home in my arms I could finally rest. I felt Hunter place me on a bed. I grabbed onto his shirt holding him close.
“Don’t go.”
I snuggled into the crook of his neck.
“Let me shower. I’ll be back.”
I heard a smile in his voice. My hands had a mind of their own. I didn’t want to let go of him. I just got him back.
“You don’t smell, stay.”
“I’ll be quick.”
His scent engulfed me. Hunter had walked us back to his cabin. He pulled his dark comforter over me. I looked up at him his yellow eyes gleamed in the moonlight. He seemed a little too proud of himself at the moment. When I looked down at him I saw the dirt that was nearly embedded into his skin. His hair was a tangled mess. To my horror, I thought I could see red spatters. It could have been of an animal. I hoped it was an animal.
But none of that could stop me from thinking about him being naked in his shower. A room away. Less than 30 feet from me.
I swallowed hard and looked up at him again. He smiled, bending down to kiss me. When he pulled away, he headed towards his bathroom without a second glance. Instead of thinking about what was hidden from view, I snuggled deeper into my pillow.
What seemed like a few seconds later, Hunter’s scent grew even stronger. I opened my eyes to find that I was eye level with his chest. I snuggled closer. His faint hairs there tickled me. I bent my head to kiss right over his heart and was rewarded with a squeeze of his arms. I fell asleep shortly after.
The next time I woke up, I was tangled together with Hunter. We had sandwiched our legs. One of his, then one of mine, then his again. My leg draped over his hip. One hand cushioned my head, the other held my back. My hand curled next to his heart. My other held him as well. My hand stroked absently the muscle over his heart.
“I missed you.”
“I felt like I was missing a limb,” he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
I didn’t move from my curled position, so my head was cradled under his chin. I was scared to look him in the eye when I asked him, but I had to know.
“Did you…?”
“We never caught him. He must have been more powerful than his friend, because he teleported once he left pack land. We traced him for a while, but any farther and we would have been in witch’s land,” Hunter explained. He breathed out heavily afterwards as if he was feeling the weight of a new pressure.
“I’m glad you’re home. That’s all that matters to me.”
“I didn’t kill him,” he sounded disappointed in himself. And I think he thought I should be disappointed in him. In fact, I was feeling the opposite. I hoped that I would never see that warlock again because I feared he knew my secret. I feared he could expose what I was. I was also scared to admit I felt sympathy for him. Even when he was about to take me and torture me for his spell, after seeing how the other warlock died... It wasn’t peaceful. A violent end caused by one being to another, and it scared and sickened me. I understood the necessity of it, but it didn’t mean I wanted to see it. In our world, it was them or it was us. But now I wasn’t sure if I was them or us.
“You’re home, I don’t care about anything else.”
I snuggled closer.
“You’re wearing a different shirt than the one I gave you. And your scent is fresh around the cabin.”
He didn’t sound quite like he was accusing me of anything, more curious than anything else. I did look up at him this time.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I missed you.”
I stopped before I told him anymore. I didn’t want to guilt him or make him feel bad about being away for so long. I understood that as an Enforcer this was his job. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe he would just drop everything to become a doting mate. This was new for both of us. I had been resistant at first, too. Now, come to think about it, it had been almost three months since I arrived.
That first month, I had been so certain that I would be leaving in five months’ time. Then when Hunter and I pretty much started over again, things got better. Now here we were, we spent time apart, and from that experience I didn’t think I could leave him forever. In the end, I wasn’t sure I would be able handle a lifetime without him, never knowing if he was going to come home to me. But I wasn’t yet convinced that I was in love with him. I had stronger feelings for him than just affection, but love?
Sleeping without him nearby had been hell. I went through something similar with Griffin when I first came to live with him. The thing was, I could sleep without him Griffin. I made it without him. And I was sure that, with enough time spent away from Hunter, I would be able to sleep without him, too. But right now I felt more rested than I had in weeks. I knew that I needed to stop thinking so much, and see just what happened in the next three months.
“How was it?” Hunter asked.
“Boring.”
I didn’t know what else to tell him. I was bored without him. Jen kept me entertained for a while, but I was sure even she was beginning to get bored out of her mind by me. And the compound was farther into the woods than my pack’s. We took lots of trips into town to see movies, going out to dinner if we were feeling up to it. Here, while we had connection to the internet, it seemed limited. I could read and watch movies, but I wanted out of the compound. I wanted to visit a town.
I had made a few friends with other pack members while Hunter was away, but most of them kept to themselves. It seemed they had things to do. I knew many of them left to go to work, and the ones who stayed behind usually worked around the compound.
“I won’t apologize for making you stay with Damien.”
Hunter was rubbing my back with one hand. The sensation was lulling me back to sleep. I felt completely at ease with him. I knew that I should have been nervous about sleeping in his room with him only wearing boxer briefs, and me with so little clothing, but it didn’t cross my mind.
I trusted Hunter.
“I understand why you did what you did, but I wish that you didn’t feel that way,” I said not wanting to look at him. I tried to hide the fact that I felt ashamed. He didn’t even think I could take care of myself. And, perhaps, he was right. In the Lupen Pack it was never really much of a worry. I was always usually with one pack member or another. If these threats were going to be a constant in my life with Hunter, then I wanted to be able to stay here. I wanted him to know that I could protect myself. He could even teach me more self-defense.
Hunter’s chest expanded, and he exhaled slowly.
“I was scared,” Hunter whispered, “Ever since I lost my mother, I had never felt the terror I felt when I saw you in those warlock’s embrace. Killing him didn’t seem like enough of a justice. So I promise you, Colette, I will never apologize for trying to keep you safe.”
We were silent after that. I never blamed him. I was never mad at him for the situation he put me in. I was more annoyed with myself than anything else. A strong wolf like Hunter deserved a mate that he didn’t have to worry about. A mate that could protect herself. I felt my wolf react at my thoughts, and she moved close to me in spirit. It was like I could feel her right against my skin. I wished that I wa
s able to unleash her, set her free.
“So you said you were bored?” Hunter asked when I started to fall back asleep. I muttered a yes, nodding my head against his chest.
“Sleep, Colette.”
I woke up again and the sun beamed through the window lighting the room. I was colder than I had been all night, even though Hunter’s comforter covered me. His side of the bed was empty and cold, as if he had left long ago. I wondered for a moment if I had dreamt him up last night. Was I so desperate for him to be home that I would dream something up like that?
I stretched and waited. I finally slipped out of bed, my toes touching the cold hardwood floors. I looked over at the window. Fall was coming.
I walked towards Hunter’s bathroom and I passed the door to the hallway. A delicious scent wafted from the kitchen.
I was glad it wasn’t a dream. Last night was nice, even though we had just laid in each other’s arms.
I ran to the bathroom to freshen up, even though he must have seen me in all my morning glory when he woke up. I came out of his room, still dressed as I was last night, my hair a little more tame. It was impossible to make it flat, generally speaking. Instead, I shoved it to one side and hoped it came off as cute bed-head verses something less cute.
“Morning, Colette.”
Hunter didn’t even look up from the bacon he was cooking. My stomach growled with hunger and I wondered how long I had slept.
“What time is it?” I croaked, wishing I had said some practice words before coming out here. If I had known ahead of time I would sound like that, I would have done some vocal warm ups.
“Almost noon,” he looked over at me and I saw the suspicion is his eyes. “Haven’t you been getting enough sleep?”
“Have you?” I asked. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. His scruff was almost a filled out, coming away in a beard. I wondered if he stopped shaving while he was on the road because he forgot, or because that was normal for him. It kinda suited him. It made him look even more rugged.
“Not answering me isn’t going to change the fact you haven’t been sleeping well.”
“And you didn’t answer me. So I guess we are at an impasse. So are you going to give me some food, or let me starve?”
“For your failure to answer I should let you starve. I am trained in all sorts of torture, Colette. Don’t forget that.”
Hunter leaned over the table and he looked me in the eye while he said it. Once his eyes dropped to my lips, and I felt my yearning for him reach all the way down to my toes. There was something sensually dark about how he said it. I swallowed hard and looked away from him. He leaned back and went back to cooking.
Hunter handed me a plate with all my favorites. There weren’t any eggs that he hadn’t made for himself. He learned pretty quickly that I wouldn’t touch them. But there was bacon, and an English muffin with the butter all melted. I was strange about some foods and textures, but Hunter caught on quick. Food was a bonding point for wolves. Most would hunt together and share in their kills, but I wouldn’t again be able to do that with Hunter.
“You had mentioned that you were bored,” Hunter said watching me as I started to eat. I sat up my nose scrunching, narrowing my eyes. That was a while ago.
“Why are you suspicious of me?” he asked, feigning annoyance.
“Why are you asking stupid questions?” I answered, still feeling suspicious.
“I’m just asking…”
I huffed out a breath.
“Yes, I was bored.”
“Good I have something planned.”
That was all he said before he went back to eating his food. I glared at him, hoping that it would get him to look up at me, but he wouldn’t. Instead he stayed focused on his food with a bemused look upon his face.
Chapter 20 — Not That Kind of Fairy
“How’s he treating you?”
Keith’s voice sounded so different on the phone than it did in person.
I considered skyping him, but if Hunter noticed my sleep deprived state, I knew Keith would see it in a second. I didn’t tell Keith or anyone at home about the attack. I didn’t need them coming down here in arms, trying to help out, in the end just making things worse. I didn’t want Hunter thinking I didn’t believe in him. That he wasn’t worthy, or that he had failed in finding and destroying the warlock. I wasn’t stupid. I knew how a werewolf’s mind worked. That would have been his reaction.
I would never want to cause him that sort of pain.
“He is treating me just fine, Keith,” I said feeling a little worn out. I had talked to Rose before she gave the phone to Keith, and I was already tired of repeating myself.
It had been two days since Hunter had returned home and let me know he had planned, but told me nothing about it. I was anxious, to say the least. But something else had changed, I realized fairly quickly the night after he returned, and we headed to our own rooms. I didn’t sleep as soundly without him. I felt my wolf reaching out to him, and something inside me felt like it was ripping. Eventually, around 3:00 AM, I gave up and snuck into his room, snuggled into bed with him. He was up as well. He looked like he had been waiting for me. I slipped into his arms I could finally breathe. I could finally sleep.
“We miss you here, Lettie,” Keith said.
It felt like forever since someone had called me Lettie. Everyone here usually called me Colette. Granted I never corrected them or told them I liked to be called Lettie, but it felt like something that belonged to my old pack. To the Lupen pack. Keith saying it made me miss home more than ever.
“How is he doing?” I asked.
“He’s surviving. It was better this way, you know.”
“What are you talking about, Keith?”
“You know I love Griffin like a son. But we all knew that one day he would find his mate and you would be left alone. We had no idea if you would have a mate or not, we were so worried that…”
Keith trailed off, I heard him suck in a big breath.
“We were all worried. Rose, Isaac, and I, that you would be left alone to watch as he found happiness with someone else. I can’t say we all didn’t see it as a blessing when Hunter found you. Granted we hoped he lived a little closer,” Keith stopped to laugh a little. He was nervous, I could hear it in his laugh, and I could almost picture him rubbing the back of his neck.
“You never discouraged us,” I whispered.
Truthfully, they hadn’t encouraged us either. Keith didn’t like to find us sleeping in the same room, the same bed, but they let us do it. I wondered why, I had to know.
“Why didn’t you?”
Keith was silent for a long time afterwards.
“Keith?”
“It was a difficult choice. Ultimately, we decided that experiencing love, even if not the love of a mate, would be worth the eventual pain of him leaving…”
It felt like the air was punched from my lungs. My vision grew blurry with the onset of tears.
“You were such an unknown Colette, you still are. We were all amazed that you even had a mate after finding out about…”
About the side of me that others would hate. That I hated.
“You never discouraged us because you thought he would be my only shot?” And it became very clear to me what that meant. Even when they thought I was part human, they would never let me leave the pack. I would be mate-less and watch as my friends, my best friends, left me for their mates. I would end up alone, forever.
It was a lot for me to process.
“Um…”
“Colette, it’s not that…”
“No, I have to go, Keith. I will talk to you later.”
I hung up.
I struggled to keep my breathing neutral. Icy fear froze my breath and my blood. I only heard that they would keep me “safe” in their “pack.” I would have been left alone and loveless. I didn’t think there was any part of me that wanted to go back. It wasn’t home anymore. A new wave of determination crashed over me
.
I stood up not really sure where I was going, but I knew I would find him. Our bond would lead me.
I ran out of the cabin door to the training area. I could feel him there. I trusted him to help with this new pain. When I arrived on the outskirts of the yard, Hunter turned to me. Confusion played across his face as he read my emotions. As he saw my betrayal.
I walked towards him with purposeful strides. He watched me all the way, not moving forward, nor backwards.
When I stood in front of him I took a deep breath and looked up.
“I’m yours,” I whispered, my voice broke but I was done holding onto the past. I was done holding onto something I didn’t have. I had Hunter, he was there for me, silently, but there.
I thought that my heart would break even a little over the knowledge of losing my family, but it didn’t. Instead I felt free. I felt like for once I had everything figured out. Hunter was the wolf of my heart and the heart of my wolf. It took a while for me to completely catch up, but I ready more than ever to commit to us. Hunter didn’t break his stare when he pressed a forceful kiss to my lips.
Only when I felt his tongue sweep against my lips did I close my eyes and cleaved to him. Hunter pulled away first and I saw desire and anger in his eyes. My heart went erratic with his touch. I wanted to be so much closer.
“Don’t say something like that to me unless you truly mean it, Colette.” His eyes hardened when he looked back at me. “I don’t play games. Come to me when you mean it.”
Hunter pulled away from me and shifted almost instantly. He took off into the woods and I was left watching the black wolf disappear from my line of sight. I was breathless and confused. I wasn’t planning games with him. Jude watched me with cold, calculating eyes. Then he turned away and walked off. The twins looked uncomfortable. Billy was in wolf form and looked up at his brother.
“You two should go after Hunter.”
Jen called from the doorway shaking her head. She looked at me and gave me a sympathetic smile. During the two weeks Hunter had been away, we had gotten very close. I told her a lot about my life back with the Lupen Pack, and she told me stories about her own childhood. That included how Hunter was very close to their family.
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