The Doctor's Forbidden Fling

by Karin Baine

  ‘Have you? You know, if I could change things I’d make sure your mother and I had really talked about how we felt. I’d make damn sure I listened. Don’t throw something special away because you’re scared to face the truth. You’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.’ His teary blue eyes were a reflection of her own but she feared they’d both left it too late. She’d pushed Nate away, said some horrible things to ensure he’d stay out of her life. Unfortunately, given his silence since, she seemed to have succeeded in her quest.

  ‘You’re not mad at me? About the baby?’ She was going to need at least one person to be there holding her hand when this bundle of trouble arrived and turned everything upside down. If she had her father’s support it would ease some of her stress and help her enjoy this pregnancy more. So far it had been all tension and sickness and she was still waiting for the so-called blossoming to start.

  He sighed.

  ‘It’s not what I wanted for you but it’s not the end of the world. I just want you to be happy.’ He reached over and gave her hand a squeeze, the only loving gesture she could ever remember getting from him. She cursed her hormones as the tears tipped over the edge of her lashes. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be truly happy again.

  ‘Lord Dempsey?’ The receptionist called him for his appointment, drawing them both out of their heart-to-heart and on their feet.

  ‘Whoa.’ Violet had to sit down again as all the blood in her body seemed to rush to her head at once.

  The receptionist rushed over to check on her. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘She’s pregnant,’ her father answered for her, rubbing her back, already playing the role of protective grandfather.

  ‘Just a little dizzy. My heart’s racing a little but that’s been happening a lot recently.’ She didn’t want to make a fuss and somehow have Nate get wind of it, but she was a bit breathless and seriously feeling as if she was about to faint.

  ‘At least you’re in the right place. I’ll put in a call and get them to check you out in A and E.’

  Violet could only nod as she struggled to stay conscious.

  * * *

  It wasn’t long before she found herself stretched out on a bed with electrodes stuck all over her body, hooked up to an ECG machine. They’d gone over her medical history, and taken blood samples. She didn’t know what they were expecting to find but the longer she lay here worrying what was happening, the faster her heart rate seemed to get. It was beating so hard she could easily have just finished running a marathon rather than simply have had an intense conversation with her father. She rested her hands on her invisible bump. It was still early days into her pregnancy and she was trying not to freak out about the fact she was already in hospital.

  The doctor studied the printout of her test with a frown, which wasn’t helping her relax at all. ‘Your heart rate is higher than we would like. At the minute it’s beating so fast the heart muscle can’t relax between contractions and the lack of oxygen is what’s causing the dizzy spells.’

  ‘Will it harm the baby?’ That was all that mattered right now. She mightn’t have planned on this baby but neither did she want anything to happen to it. It was all she had left of Nate now.

  He shook his head. ‘There’s nothing to worry about. We do want to send you to CCU, though, so they can keep a close eye on you during treatment.’

  If she didn’t laugh at the irony she’d cry. It was the one department in the building she was virtually guaranteed to see the man she’d been trying to avoid. There was no way her baby daddy was going to remain a silent partner once she and junior rocked up on his turf. He was going to have plenty to say about looking after herself and his child. Fate was going to make sure they had one last showdown before she left for London this time.

  London. It had been her salvation, her road to independence, but now going back to her empty apartment felt like a punishment for her mistake. She had family here, and friends. And Nate. All she had in London was her job. She’d been so busy building walls to protect her heart she’d isolated herself emotionally and physically from anyone who’d tried to get close. It wasn’t the ideal set-up for a woman raising a child on her own. What if there were any more complications during the pregnancy? She had no one to lean on there because that was the way she’d wanted it. Impending motherhood had since changed her views on complete independence.

  These past weeks had reminded her how good it felt to have companionship, to be loved, to be in love. Even having her father waiting patiently outside for news she and the baby were safe was a turning point in their relationship, an insight into the family life she could have had here. Returning to a one-bedroom flat, pregnant and broken-hearted, wasn’t something she was looking forward to. She was going to miss Strachmore and everyone associated with it.

  * * *

  Nate was on his way to do the rounds on the coronary care unit, having just finished fitting a pacemaker for one of his patients. It was best to keep busy to stop him from running up to Strachmore to see if Violet was still there. He’d given her his word he wouldn’t go near her to give her space to think, but the distinct lack of communication indicated his plan to get her to stick around had backfired. As she’d told him in no uncertain terms, she didn’t want, or need, him in her life. He didn’t even know if she was still in the country.

  This time he wasn’t simply going to accept her decision. He would follow her to London if it meant he could at least see their child grow and flourish. Without Violet and the baby here he wasn’t sure what was keeping him here anyway. The house he’d been so proud of owning now seemed too big for a single man, too empty. The rooms should be full of toys and plans for the future, not a reminder of everything he’d lost. He didn’t know how he was ever going to get over her this time, knowing what they could have...should have had together. Too bad his peasant status had let him down again. It was a stigma he would never be able to overcome to become worthy of the Earl’s daughter. Or perhaps he’d simply have to face the fact that she’d never loved him anyway and he’d been the one using his upbringing as an excuse. Either way she didn’t want him, and he was lost without her.

  If only it were as easy to fix his broken heart as those of his patients. He’d gladly volunteer as a guinea pig for any new research looking into replacing emotionally battered hearts if it meant an end to this misery. He hadn’t even been able to share the pain of losing the woman he loved and his baby when no one had known they’d existed, including his family. This was only supposed to have been a meaningless fling; there’d been no reason to broadcast the fact they were together. He’d had no way of knowing this would change him for ever. Somehow he was going to have to break the news to his parents they were soon to become grandparents and they might never see their first, and possibly only, grandchild.

  Thoughts of Violet and the baby had tormented him for days; he’d been wondering if some day another man would take over his role as husband and father. He knew without doubt he could never replace what he’d lost, but that didn’t mean Violet wouldn’t love someone else, someone acceptable. If she didn’t relent about seeing him again to at least discuss future arrangements, he might have to move away too. He didn’t think he could face Strachmore again or hearing any stories coming out of it. He’d been here before, knew the pain he’d go through to come out the other side and the only thing to get him through was hard work.

  In fact he was obsessing over his personal life so much it was encroaching on his professional one. He would’ve sworn he’d seen the Earl walk past when the CCU doors had flashed open at the end of the corridor. Impossible. He would’ve known if his patient had been readmitted. Still, it would put his mind at rest to check with the senior nurse in charge.

  ‘Has Samuel Dempsey been admitted again, by any chance?’

  ‘No, but he’s here with his daughter. She came in yesterday.’


  ‘What? Why didn’t anyone tell me?’ In the fearful haze clouding his brain he’d forgotten this had been a secret affair. His colleagues had no idea this woman in jeopardy was everything to him.

  The nurse frowned. ‘She said she didn’t want us to contact anyone. We’ve put her in Room One—’

  Nate didn’t wait to hear any more. He was already haring off to find Violet, regardless of whether she wanted to see him or not. People weren’t admitted to CCU on a whim, especially pregnant women. If Violet, or the baby, were in danger he was going to be there for them regardless of her objections.

  He burst into the side room and, while he was glad to see her again, the sight of her lying in the hospital bed, small and pale, was almost his undoing. The heart monitors that were part of his everyday job now took on a sinister new meaning as they charted her progress.

  ‘Nate!’

  Perhaps he should have given her some warning before crashing in here as he watched her heart rate spike on the screen. He reached for her charts to find out exactly what was going on. ‘Are you and the baby okay?’

  ‘We’re fine. I didn’t sleep very well last night so they moved me in here for a little more peace and quiet.’ Despite the circumstances and how they’d left things the last time they’d seen each other, she actually looked pleased to see him.

  ‘Why didn’t you phone me?’ He directed his question at her father, sitting by the bedside, not a figment of his imagination at all. It was more of an accusation that he’d been purposely kept out of the loop. Probably by the man who’d made it his life’s work to interfere in hers. So much for the new leaf they’d supposed he’d turned over.

  ‘I told him not to. I’ve caused you enough grief over the years. It’s not fair to keep involving you in my problems.’ Violet’s admission saved him from beginning a new battle with her father even though it was completely without foundation. He’d never backed away when she’d needed him.

  ‘Why not? This is my baby too. I want to be involved.’ A second too late he realised he’d blown the big secret. She might not have wanted her father to know her predicament before she’d gone back to London and now Nate would have his reaction on his conscience too.

  ‘As I told her you should be. Now, I think it’s about time you two had a serious talk about your future, about this baby.’ The Earl’s lack of punch-throwing and willingness to walk out of the room, leaving him alone with his daughter, led Nate to believe Violet had already broken the news of the addition to the family.

  ‘You told him?’

  ‘I didn’t think I’d be able to hide it much longer. He took it better than I could ever have dreamed of.’

  ‘Clearly. I’m still standing.’ It would’ve been a different story twelve years ago, pre medical school, if he’d knocked up the Earl’s daughter. The long road to cardiology had been worth it to be accepted on some level, if not as part of the family.

  ‘Actually, he didn’t seem that surprised. I guess we weren’t as discreet as we thought we’d been.’ That twinkle in her eye took Nate back to a time and a place he was already having trouble letting go of.

  ‘Okay. Let’s see what we have here.’ He resisted running over and kissing her when he knew for sure she wasn’t in immediate danger. It might be pushing his luck too far.

  SVT, supraventricular tachycardia, was something he’d had plenty of experience with in his patients, including pregnant women. The complications that could arise were often due to the presence of heart disease, a cause for concern given her father’s recent history. Thankfully her ultrasounds and ECGs had ruled this out. She had, however, been admitted with a very high tachycardia rate, reaching between one hundred and eighty and two hundred and forty beats per minute.

  ‘I’m fine, honestly.’ Violet tried to convince him there was no need for him to worry, or be here, but he could see her arrhythmia had not yet abated.

  ‘We still need to get that heart rate stable again before you leave.’ There was no way she was going home until he knew all was well. A beta blocker had already been administered to no avail. There was always a small chance the administered drugs could cross the placental barrier so it wasn’t something he wanted for her long term when there were no obvious benefits in her case. The alternative wasn’t something he relished for the mother of his unborn child either.

  ‘They said they might have to take me to Theatre?’ There was a slight tremor in her voice belying her nerves even though she was insisting on her indestructability.

  Since she hadn’t bawled at him to get out of the room he dared to get closer to the bedside. ‘If your heart rate doesn’t regulate they are planning electrical cardioversion. Essentially this will be delivering a mild electric shock to jolt the heart back into a normal rhythm.’

  ‘The same thing you did to Dad?’

  ‘Something similar. Except without the drama. And you’re a much prettier patient.’ He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and stroking her hair back from her forehead. This could be the last time he’d see her if she chose life in London alone over one with him. The last chance he had to tell her how he really felt in the hope it could somehow make a difference.

  She closed her eyes. ‘Nate—’

  ‘You scared me, you know. When they told me you were here I nearly flipped my lid. I know you don’t want to hear it but I want to marry you. I want to raise our baby together. I don’t want to find out what’s happening to you via a third party.’ There were eight months left of this pregnancy, never mind the next eighteen years of their baby’s life.

  ‘I appreciate the sentiment but a marriage of convenience isn’t what I want. It never has been. Forcing you to marry someone you don’t love makes me no better than my father when he was trying to pair me off for the greater good. I don’t expect you to make compromises in your life to suit me, nor am I willing to do that for anyone. I saw what that did to my mother.’

  ‘I’m not asking you to make compromises. I’m simply asking you to be with me. And what’s this nonsense about not loving you? I’ve loved you since our private prom night in the boathouse and I doubt I’ll ever stop loving you. You’re the one who keeps running out on me.’ He wasn’t about to take responsibility for her fleeing the country again when he was the one trying to get her to stay. If she was insisting on leaving because the thought of being with him was so abhorrent, he wanted to hear her say it. It was the only way he was ever going to be able to accept it.

  ‘But...but...you made it sound as though you felt an obligation to marry me. You never mentioned the L word.’ Violet held her breath, the impact of what he was saying too great to comprehend in her current state. He was basically killing her argument for getting on a plane back to London stone dead.

  ‘The last time I did that you disappeared for over a decade. I was trying to prevent another vanishing-woman act. Listen, I know I didn’t measure up then and no amount of certificates will make me a qualified member of the aristocracy, but I will look after you and our child. I don’t want you to change. I’m not asking anything from you except to give us a chance.’

  She thought her heart was going to burst through her chest, it felt so full. Nate loved her; even after everything, he loved her.

  ‘I was scared, that’s why I left the first time, why I was leaving now. I thought it was best for you. I watched my parents’ love turn to hate with the pressures of society. I didn’t want that for you, or us. The strength of my feelings for you was never in question but I didn’t want it to be at the cost of anyone’s freedom. You didn’t sign up for a baby, or a grumpy Earl, or a run-down country estate.’ It said a lot that he was still here now she’d reminded him of all the baggage she was lugging with her.

  Nate sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. ‘I love you. Everything else we can deal with.’

  She didn’t think she’d ever get tired
of hearing him say those words. ‘You mean it?’

  ‘I mean every word. I want to marry you because I love you. A baby is just the icing on the cake. I’ll move to London with you, leave my job and be a stay-at-home dad, whatever it takes for us to be together because that’s what I want more than anything else in the world.’ He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

  As soon as he touched her the tension left her body, a sense of peace finally descending and releasing her from the burdens of the past. This was everything she’d been waiting for.

  After a long, satisfying smooch, Nate got up from the bed. ‘I don’t believe it.’

  ‘What?’

  He was staring at the heart monitor and she automatically feared the worst. No matter who tried to reassure her, having electrodes stuck to her body to conduct electricity to her organs wasn’t how a first-time mum wanted to begin her pregnancy. She’d take morning sickness or a craving for pickles over that scenario any day.

  ‘Your heart rate is stabilising on its own.’

  Violet followed his gaze. Sure enough the figures were dropping, evening out to where they were supposed to be. Finding Nate actually wanted to marry her had been enough to shock her heart into working properly again. Although, she might have to insist he keep his distance for a while longer. If he kept kissing her and things got steamy there was every chance he’d send her pulse sky-high again.

  ‘In that case I guess we can start making plans for the future. We’ve got a baby to think about.’

  She didn’t want to spend any more time looking back. Not when she had so much to look forward to. Her life was going to change for ever, probably bring more challenges along the way, but with Nate at her side she knew she could face them head-on.