Balk

by Joy Eileen

  How Trip was able to get to the field in the half hour I lingered in Dora was nothing short of a miracle. Changing course, I pivoted and raced back to Coach Rutching’s office.

  A sickening crunch reverberated off the walls as Trip’s fist plowed into Coach Rutching’s nose. Claire screamed as she tried to cover herself.

  “What the fuck is going on here?” Coach Mae bellowed, busting in as chaos ensued.

  “Trip.” I placed my hand on his shoulder, stopping him from cocking back to slug Coach Rutching again.

  Trip’s rage filled eyes landed on me and his eyebrows scrunched together. His head rotated to see Claire still scrambling to get her clothes in order. All the anger and fear on his face faded away.

  His hand slid behind my neck and he hauled me toward him. My arms were around his waist as his body shook from the adrenaline still surging through it.

  “Rutching, what the hell’s going on?” Coach Mae asked again through clenched teeth.

  “It’s not what it looks like, Mae,” Rutching stuttered. His nose poured blood down his face, while his flaccid penis still protruded from his zipper.

  “It looks like you were in direct violation with one of my players.” Coach Mae swung around to pin me with a don’t fuck with her glare. “Was this the reason you wanted me to meet you today?”

  “You bitch,” Coach Rutching screamed, struggling to get up, but Trip pushed him down.

  “No, Coach. She was going to meet him. I overheard her yesterday making plans. Raine’s been flirting with him since he got here. It’s her way of keeping her starting spot. I bet she was doing Coach Butler too. Look at the way he’s holding her.”

  At her words, I attempted to move out of Trip’s grasp, but he was having none of that. I was plastered to his side and not going anywhere from the indication of his hold.

  Claire’s accusation was met with stunned silence from everyone else. Guilt bubbled up as Claire played right into her part.

  “Is this true, McKenna?” Coach Mae asked, her eyes taking in what Claire had pointed out.

  “Yes and no.”

  “Enlighten me,” Coach Mae commanded.

  “I did make plans with Coach Rutching today and it was also the reason I asked you to come in early today.”

  “I’m the starting pitcher. You can’t take it from me,” Claire screamed.

  “My pitching position had nothing to do with it. You were the one obsessed with it, Claire. If you truly wanted it all you had to do was ask me for it. I’m sorry, but I used your jealousy to make this happen. Honestly, I never thought you were going to sleep with him.”

  Claire snorted and Coach Mae shot her a look to get her to shut up.

  “What was it for then?” Coach Mae questioned.

  “She did it for me,” Renee said, walking into the office with Brian behind her.

  My heart sank. Having Renee involved was not what I wanted. Everything I did was to protect her from what she’d just walked in on.

  “Nene, what are you doing here?” I asked, extracting myself out of Trip’s embrace and moving in front of her, as if I could block Coach Rutching.

  “What the hell is she doing here?” Coach Rutching screamed, bouncing up on his feet, his finger shaking as it pointed to Renee.

  “Put your shriveled dick away, Bruno. Trip called me and told me you were up to something.” Renee glanced at me and frowned. “He didn’t know if he was going to catch you in time, so we both took off so at least one of us could stop you,” Renee answered.

  Coach Mae ran her hand through her short hair. “How are you a part of this?”

  “I’m the stupid high school girl who let Coach Rutching get pregnant,” Renee answered coolly.

  “She’s lying. She was sleeping with some marine. Everyone knew he was the father. She even admitted it. I will say, it looks like you’re doing pretty good for yourself, now. Brian Wright isn’t a bad catch for a teenage slut.”

  Brian moved so fast he was a blur. Coach Rutching was once again knocked down on his ass, his nose bent at an odd angle.

  “Don’t,” Brian seethed, his fists at his sides. “You’re done. I’ll make sure your name’s ruined, and you’ll never be around young naive girls you can take advantage of again. And as for Renee’s daughter you’re correct she’s not yours. She’s mine. And if you so much as think about her, I’ll find you and cut your dick off. Do you understand me?”

  Rutching let out a brittle laugh that gurgled from the blood pouring down his throat. “You can have the kid. You don’t have to worry about me trying to help raise a slut’s baby.”

  “That’s enough,” Coach Mae screamed, but it was too late.

  Brian reared his hand back and connected with the side of Coach Rutching’s head, knocking him out cold.

  “It was never about the position?” Claire whispered wide-eyed, gazing down at Coach Rutching.

  I shook my head, feeling even guiltier at the lost look on her face. “I’m sorry, Claire. I didn’t think you’d actually have sex with him.”

  “You guys get out of here. I need to sort this out,” Coach Mae broke into my stare down with Claire.

  “It was my fault, McKenna. Softball’s my only way out. I thought you were trying to take my future away from me by opening your legs. I wasn’t thinking. When I was offered to play overseas, I was afraid if I wasn’t starter the position would be revoked.” Claire’s eyes simmered with tears as she pleaded with me to understand.

  “I’m sorry. You should have told me. I shouldn’t have used you the way I did. It was wrong. I promise I’ll make this up to you,” I told her.

  “I’m so fucking stupid. You would have given it to me,” Claire said not as a question but a statement.

  “I would have and you can have it now,” I told her, moving to give her a hug. “It’s the least I can do for using you the way I did.”

  “Raine, that position’s not yours to give. Especially when Hoffer violated her player contract. Even if you manipulated her it was still her choice to try and get her position the way she did.”

  Claire’s cheeks streaked with tears as she watched Coach Mae take her dream away.

  “Practice’s canceled today. Raine, get out of here and take your entourage with you. We’ll have a team meeting tomorrow to discuss the rest of the season.”

  I hugged Claire, her arms wrapped around me like a vice grip. I was a shitty person.

  “It will work out. I’ll quit the team just so they have to give you the position. Go home and get some sleep, and be at practice tomorrow,” I whispered in her ear.

  “Thanks, McKenna. I’m sorry. It’s just there aren’t many options for a future as a softball player. I was desperate.”

  “So was I.” I squeezed her hand and walked out of the office.

  Coach Rutching moaned as I closed the door to let Coach Mae sort through the drama I had intentionally put at her door. It wasn’t the exact drama I’d expected, but it was my fault nonetheless.

  When we reached our cars Renee whirled around and stuck her finger in my chest. “That was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. McKenna, that’s so not like you. What the hell were you thinking?”

  Tears tracked down her face and I felt rivulets rush down mine as well. “I just wanted to protect you. With Coach Rutching so close I felt like it was the perfect opportunity to keep him away from you for good. You deserve happiness and not to have to worry if he’ll ever show up. I feel awful Claire got involved. Shit, I can’t believe she was having sex with him.”

  Renee’s finger moved from out of my chest and she crushed me to her. We held each other, crying at the past and present pain.

  “You could have been hurt,” Renee whispered, shivering at the thought.

  “It would have been worth it. I wasn’t going to do anything with him. Claire kept putting herself out there when I tried to flirt with him. At first I was going to get with him so he’d have to face consequences, but Claire was determined. I feel like shit. It shou
ld have been me in his office not Claire.”

  “McKenna, Coach Mae was right. You didn’t make her do what she did. She had a choice. Fuck, I can’t believe he was here,” she said, pulling away and wiping her face.

  “When I saw him I wanted to quit immediately, but then I thought maybe he was put here for a reason,” I admitted.

  “So you decided to flirt with him right in front of me.” Trip’s voice was gravely as he talked through his gritted teeth. He grasped my upper arm and pulled me toward him.

  “Sorry, I didn’t want you involved. But I should have known you’d figure it out. You do have access to the Batcave.”

  Trip’s cheek jumped. “No more flirting with anybody.”

  “Nobody?” I asked, my stomach doing flops when he didn’t release me and I was pressed up against his body.

  “Only me.”

  I opened my mouth, but Trip’s lips sealed over it. My knees gave out as his tongue thrust into my mouth, stroking my tongue so it would come out to play. Trip pulled me closer. The kiss was urgent and demanding as I sunk deeper into him. His hand released my arm and moved behind my neck so he could position my head to kiss me deeper. His arm banded around my back, locking me to him.

  My hands roamed up his hard chest and moved around his neck, doing my own type of locking.

  “It’s about damn time.” Brian’s voice filtered through my hazy mind.

  Trip’s lips unlatched from mine. He smiled down at me, placing tiny kisses on my cheek and nose. “You’re telling me.”

  “I’ll call you later and chew you out some more, Kenna,” Renee said, a smile in her voice.

  “Uh-huh,” I answered, my head still mushy from Trip’s kiss.

  “Your place or mine, darlin’?”

  “Mine’s closer.”

  “Smart girls are so hot.” Trip picked me up and threw me in Dora. He belted my seatbelt and gave me one more searing kiss.

  “Drive safe,” he ordered before closing my door and dashing to Diego.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Trip was by my driver side door before I was able to put Dora in park. He helped me out, which was good since nothing seemed to be functioning correctly.

  With my hand in his we walked silently to my apartment. After missing the lock for the third time Trip took the key out of my hand and led me into the living room.

  My breathing was shallow as I sat next to him on the couch. Trip let go of my hand and confusion set in. All the way home I pictured him pouncing before the door clicked shut. His hesitation set off my anxiety and I tried to come up with a statistic off the top of my mushy head.

  Maybe he realized this was a mistake on the drive here.

  “Trip?”

  Trip threw his baseball hat on the table and thrust his fingers through his hair. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, trying to gauge what he was thinking.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he stated, his hand flopping to his side of the couch.

  My soul crushed into a thousand pieces and even if I collected them all, I would never be whole again. But he didn’t need to know.

  “Things happen in the heat of the moment. Don’t worry about it.” I applauded myself for sounding so levelheaded.

  Trip interlocked our hands and studied them before meeting my eyes. With him touching me I wasn’t able to hide the tremors of pain wracking my body.

  “Darlin‘ don’t get the wrong idea. I wanted to kiss you.” He pressed his lips together until they turned white.

  I pulled my hands out of his and clasped them on my lap.

  “Well, you did and now it’s done?” I couldn’t help but end it in a question. He wasn’t making sense and my brain was in too much pain to decipher body language.

  Trip smiled, brushing his finger down my cheek. I leaned into his touch, knowing what a pathetic gesture it was. With fascination, I watched fire pool in Trip’s eyes as he traced my face with his calloused hand.

  His fingers grasped my chin and pulled me forward. I went willingly, craving his touch more than my next peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We met in the middle, our mouths clashing together in frustration.

  Trip’s hands found my waist and hauled me on his lap. I ground into him, moaning when I felt his hard erection pushing against his jeans.

  His lips left mine and trailed down my neck. He sucked in a ragged breath as he licked my collarbone. “What about softball?” he asked, kissing his way back up my neck.

  “I don’t know that position, but I’m willing to give it a try,” I answered him, my hands pushing his shirt up so I could touch his abs.

  Trip let out a chuckle as he sucked my bottom lip in his mouth. My eyes rolled back in my head at the ecstasy I was in with his mouth on mine.

  Trip let go of my lip and rested his chin on the top of my head. I continued to stroke his chest, marveling at the dips, no longer sure what the hell was happening.

  “I’m serious, McKenna.”

  “So am I. I’ve never heard of the softball position, but I’m willing to try.”

  “I meant real softball. I don’t want you to lose your place on the team.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t care about softball. Like Claire said there isn’t much life after college for a softball player. I never wanted to play overseas and I don’t want to be in the Olympics. I’m done. It was you who wouldn’t let me quit. Besides, I owe Claire the position for what I brought her into.”

  “But this is your last year. You’re going to start working right out of school. I don’t want you missing out on anything. And Claire isn’t innocent. If I were to tell you half of what she propositioned me with you wouldn’t be feeling as guilty as you do.”

  “It’s not just the guilt.” I moved so I could look at him, not removing my hands from his chest I wasn’t stupid. “Is that why you never tried anything with me? Because you were worried I’d miss softball? That I’d regret leaving the team for you?”

  He gazed directly in my eyes, letting me know how serious he was. “I told you, I wanted to be a better person. You made me want to do that. As hard as it was I stayed away from you, or at least as much as I could, so you could finish softball and graduate. I refuse to let you resent me, or our relationship later on because I took things away from you. You’re so young and you have so much in front of you.”

  Tears clouded my eyes. I blinked, letting them fall down my cheeks, still not taking my hands off his chest.

  “Trip, I seriously don’t care about those things.”

  He opened his mouth, but I cut him off before he could talk.

  “Softball was a way for me to fit in when I was younger. I’m sure this will come as somewhat a shock to you, but I was a weird kid.”

  Trip widened his eyes in mock surprise and I stuck my tongue out at him. I settled more comfortably on his lap so I could talk to him, but still not losing contact with his magnificent chest muscles.

  “My parents put me in every sport, and softball was the one that didn’t make me as miserable as the rest. For some strange reason, pitching wasn’t dreadful. It had nothing to do with the love of the game, but just being able to be social.”

  “But the season’s almost over, and you’re so good at it. Look at all the wins the team has because of you.”

  “But that’s just it, I do it for the team. I don’t do it for me, and the achy muscles I have the next day. It may be hard for you to understand, but I could give up softball right now and never think about it again.”

  “You say that now.”

  “I say that always. If there’s one thing I can tell you with certainty is I know how my mind works. Softball’s different for me than it is for you. I see how your eyes light up when you talk about the game. You smiled more than I’d ever seen you smile when you were back practicing with the Pappies. Baseball’s your dream. That’s the reason you changed.”

  “I changed because I wanted to be the person you deserve.”

  “And I don’t
accept that. You talk about me regretting our relationship because I didn’t play out my last season, or I will miss out on something because I’m younger and haven’t experienced what you think I should. Well, the same goes for me. I don’t want you to one day resent me because you changed who you were for me. I refuse to take that blame. You changed because it was time. You were put in a scary situation where you saw your dream almost yanked away. It wasn’t for me and it shouldn’t have been.”

  “You’re amazing. How did I get so lucky to deserve you?”

  “Who said you have me?”

  Trip smiled and pulled me close until his lips met my ear. “All the posters you have of me stashed in your top dresser.”

  I pulled back and stared at him in horror. My face burned and I could feel my ears turning a new shade of red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I denied.

  Trip stood and carried me into my room. He deposited me on my bed and reached for the damning drawer.

  “Okay, you proved your point,” I cried to his back.

  He held the stack of posters I hid from him the night I took them down with a huge smile plastered on his face.

  “You looked so guilty that night I snuck in here to find out what you were hiding. I had to stop myself from laughing when I saw it was exactly what I accused you of hiding.”

  “So what? I’m sure there are a ton of women who have you plastered all over their walls,” I huffed, taking the posters from him and placing them gently on my desk.

  “But you’re the only woman I care about,” he whispered into my ear, pulling my back flush to his chest.

  “Are you sure? There are a lot of women who’d gladly take my place.”

  Trip grasped my shoulders and spun me around. “McKenna, I know what I want, and I want you. If you don’t feel the same way tell me now and break my heart, darlin’. I’ve been in love with you since the day you yelled at me for taking my sling off. You’re the one for me.”

  “You’re in love with me?”

  “More than I thought possible. Our friendship allowed me to get to know you without the physical aspect and as hard as it was.”